It's About Time

USA Today broke a story today about a new show set to premiere on CBS Sports. It's being sold as a "sports talk show" hosted, produced, and directed by women.

This is huge. And it's about damn time.

I may not know the title, who is hosting it, or when exactly it's slated to premiere, but I definitely plan on watching it. I don't even know if I can get CBS Sports in Canada, but I'll try. I'll plan a road trip across the border to watch the premiere if I have to. It's going to be an important moment for a lot of sports fans, and I want to be there when it happens.

Even the most seasoned female sports reporters don't always get the recognition they deserve. I'm very proud of TSN for hiring so many female anchors, but even that is proof that women have to work incredibly hard to be taken seriously. It's time that women got a big stage, one that doesn't have a glass-top desk. It's time that they're given a chance to truly shine, or to yell, or to fuck up, because male analysts get to do that all the time. I'm not saying that all male sports anchors or analysts are bad at what they do, but the culture of sports broadcasting is a certain way. It's a boys' club, and women have made great strides to change that, but there are still better opportunities for meatheaded former players, or guys who like to talk really loud, than there are for a lot of women regardless of their work ethic and their level of intelligence.

It's time that women are given these major roles - we've seen such great work from a lot of female sportscasters, and they deserve to get their due.

When the show premieres, I'm hoping to see lots of in-depth discussions, segments I can learn from, and a few good laughs. But, to be honest, I'll settle for seeing myself a little bit better-represented on television. I know that there's a chance that the show might disappoint me - television is just like that sometimes. And that's okay, because we've seen that happen before, and in some cases, we see it happen regularly. (ahem, Coach's Corner) But no matter what, it'll be nice knowing that there's something different out there, and that women will be working hard to produce it. It'll be nice to see a new perspective on the sports world. And it will most definitely be nice knowing that the show was produced in an environment that might be a little bit more welcoming than some other media outlets out there.

And if they want to hire me as an intern or a proofreader, that would be nice, too.

Hab It Her Way Awards 2013

The best things about summer have come and gone, so I guess it's time for me to enjoy my favourite weather and look forward to the next hockey season. Or, actually, look back on the last season. (That'll take all of three seconds.) Sounds like the perfect time to bring back one of my favourite features: the Hab It Her Way Awards! This year, instead of posting nominees, I've chosen the winners on my own. (Sorry!)

So, without further ado, here are our more traditional categories:

The Youppi! Trophy for Best Hab of the Season

Here, Brendan Gallagher, this is for you. You know, on top of the 28 points, 2 playoff goals, NHL All-Rookie team, Calder nomination, and unconditional love of an entire city.

The Leslie Knope Trophy for Acts of Kindness

Hal Gill saved an owl's life! We've always known that he was a nice guy who seems to treat his teammates really well, but not everyone would go out of their way to save an animal, so this deserves an award.

The Coach Taylor Trophy for Favourite TV Person (Sports)

As usual, this award goes to James Duthie. From his roles in TSN's sketch comedy efforts to his relaxed professionalism in-studio, I don't think I've ever seen a segment where Duthie seemed out of sorts. If there was a clip reel to accompany this award presentation, it would just be of James Duthie, between periods of Team Canada's first game at the World Juniors, around 4 AM EST, saying "If you're watching one of our later rebroadcasts or if you recorded this game to watch later, suck it up next time." It was the most hysterical thing I have ever heard at 4 AM.

The Benedict Cumberbatch Trophy for Best Name of the Draft

Last year's draft was rife with excellent names. This year, not so much. But still, there's no denying the awesomeness of a name like Ben Storm. They waited until the sixth round to draft a guy named Ben Storm? Dude sounds like a superhero! And he was drafted by the Avalanche. That's synergy if I've ever seen it.
Honourable mentions: Stephon Williams (NYI's hottest club) and Rasmus Ristolainen (BUF.)

The Pierre McGuire Trophy for Best Playoff Moment

Thank you, Dave Bolland, for scoring a last-minute Stanley Cup winner and saving us all from the clutches of the evil Bruins!

Plus/Minus survived that Flyers game

When I started working on this Plus/Minus, I didn't even know what the Harlem Shake was. It seems like so long ago. Those were the days, man. Those were the days.

PLUS

+ Bruce Arthur noticed my Twitter bio, in which I refer to myself as "the Bruce Arthur of cat ladies."
+ Blake Geoffrion, for slowly getting back into shape and addressing the media after that nasty head injury.
+ Will Smith, for making the Bell Centre just a little bit fresher.
+ There was a brief bit of footage on the latest 24 CH where a bunch of kids in Washington were asked who they were cheering for, the Caps or the Habs. Obviously, almost all of them excitedly said "Washington!" and showed off their Caps jerseys. Except for one kid. As soon as their excitement died down, he said "No, Canadiens!" I think that kid might be my hero.

+ The last two episodes of Parks and Recreation had me falling off the couch. Such great acting, especially by the boys' club (Adam Scott, Aziz Ansari, Nick Offerman, and Rob Lowe) in a subplot about food poisoning. Also to whichever writer coined the phrase "Fleetwood Mac sex pants."

+ Scandal has been relentlessly suspenseful and soapy since I started watching it a few months ago. It just never stops. Every time I watch it, I can't help but worry about the eventual day when it'll jump the shark, but so far, it just keeps surprising me. 

+ Kelly Clarkson's acceptance speech at the Grammys was one of those rare moments in history that someone genuinely didn't expect to win an award and had to improvise their speech.
+ The NBA All-Star Skills competition is my favourite sporting event of the year. There, I said it. So it gets a Plus, for happening.

MINUS

- Get well soon, Brendan Gallagher.
- I hate to go for the easiest joke ever, but are NHL officials trying to make the NFL replacement refs look good? The officiating has been so bad lately that Nicolas Cage wants to make a movie about it.
- This Minus laments the fact that Will Smith couldn't get that gadget from Men In Black and make us all forget the last two. Losing to our two greatest rivals, and seeing a win slip away from us in the closing seconds of a game against Buffalo? Please make me forget that.
- I'm not sure what's worse: finding out that there are teeth in Mikhail Grabovski's no-face (and that he's not afraid to use them) or the utter ignorance of some Leafs fans, who are still crying because Brian Gionta got pushed into James Reimer and Reimer fell, but don't seem to think it's a big deal that one of their players bit someone. Are they only offended because they know that Max is indestructible and that the bite did nothing?

- This Minus is for anyone who hoped that Ryan White would get scratched, then watched the Leafs game and wished he wasn't.

- Christina Applegate left Up All Night. So did showrunner Emily Spivey, a few weeks back. And so will I.
- Charles Barkley is upset that there weren't enough stars in this year's slam dunk competition. He's not technically wrong, and maybe his saying so will encourage some of the NBA's bigger names to take part, but all that really matters are the dunks. If some lesser-known players decide that they're not too cool for school, and impress the audience, then what else matters?
- The only thing worse than refusing to be in the dunk contest is probably showing up to All-Star Saturday in a pair of leather sweatpants and a shirt with leather sleeves, LEBRON.

Happy birthday, Michael Jordan!

Plus/Minus gets cut in half

So, the Habs are back home. And I'm so happy to have them back home that I've decided to not give out any Minuses this week. I know, I know, it's the blogging equivalent of a burger without fries, but we could all use a little less negativity. I might have reason to dole out some Minuses, but I won't. So, Plus/Minus this week is only Plus.

(Consider yourself lucky, Mike Cammalleri. I saw that suit you wore to the home opener. That would have been a Minus. You looked like Gatsby.)

PLUS

+ People cheering for Andrei Kostitsyn during the home opener!
+ Two Habs goals in less than a minute? Yeah, I'll take it. Even if the Habs did lose to Colorado.
+ Travis Moen is a goal-scoring machine. (And that right there is not words I ever thought I'd put together.)
+ The gentleman who wore a Gordie Howe jersey to the Bell Centre on Saturday. Howe was neither a Hab nor an Avalanche(?)*, but, there's no such thing as the wrong hockey game for a Gordie Howe jersey.

+ There was a slightly old-school vibe to the Bell Centre on Saturday night. Lots of organ music and the occasional old song? I know the Bell Centre is too new to have that kind of history, but I kind of wish I could have seen the days when hockey games were attended by people that could truly be referred to as ladies and gentlemen.

+ I hate to say it, but Jeremy Roenick's controversial comments about Sidney Crosby and the obsession with his progress (or lack thereof) were spot-on. Crosby will play when he's ready to play. Until then, there are literally hundreds of other players in the NHL who also exist, whose accomplishments, shortcomings, injuries and misfortunes could be discussed or written about.
+ Congratulations, Ryan Nugent-Hopkins, on scoring a goal for each of your names.



TV + I love how every character relationship on Parks and Recreation works so differently, and so well. The Donna-Tom "Treat Yo Self" storyline worked so well that I now want to treat myself. (Czechtacular and I don't have the money to become cashmere-velvet candy canes, but we're gonna dip into the Hab It Her Way Manicure Fund and get our nails done. Treat yo self.) And I always like seeing Leslie and Ron interact. The characters just work so well together.
+ Probably the best episode of Happy Endings this season aired on Wednesday. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to sing along to "Torn" again.


I've been to two Canadiens games so far and it's only the week after Thanksgiving. That is a huge Plus.
Now, about that 100th win, Carey...

* What is the singular of "Avalanche"? Can I just call one of them an Av, or a snowflake, or what?

A long overdue Plus/Minus

You know your first-round Plus/Minus is really late when two of the second-round series are already over. Uh, blame it on the grief?
I'm guessing that a simple "I'm sorry" won't suffice, so I'll try to make up for it by posting really cool links when I find them. Like, say, pictures of goalies drinking water.

PLUS

It's mine, all mine!

+ Very few players were more exciting in Round 1 of the playoffs than PK Subban. And that's saying something.
+ Carey Price. What else is there to say?
+ Really nice to see so many hockey players joining Twitter in an attempt to connect with fans before and during the playoffs: Yannick Weber, Mathieu Darche, Brian Gionta, and Ryan O'Byrne (I still sort of miss him, okay?).
+ Ryan White is great in the playoffs, both as a Hab and a Bulldog.
+ Paul Mara's beard. And Shea Weber's beard.

We didn't make this, but we wish we did

+ Congratulations to Guy Boucher and his Tampa Bay Lightning for sweeping the Capitals. I loved watching that series. I think it was also the first time in all these (few) seasons of watching hockey that I wasn't a little disappointed to see Washington eliminated from the playoffs.
+ A Plus for Jonathan Toews, Alex Burrows and all the players who made Game 7 between the Blackhawks and Canucks so damn exciting.
+ I guess Carey Price gets an extra Plus for his cowboy hat and his Rolling Stones shirt.

MINUS

If people could be arrested for stupidity, I would.

- Uh, Glenn Healy? What was with that "A Danish is something you get at a coffee shop" comment? It was ignorant and unfunny, and I can't believe I saw you in person two days after you made it and didn't find the closest overpriced Bell Centre beer to pour over your head.
- Nathan Horton's face.
- I was proud of Milan Lucic for most of the first round, I really was, until like a typical Bruin he ruined things. I was all ready to congratulate him on not killing any Habs defencemen, and then he went and hurt Spacek.
- It's 2011 and yet there are boorish Bruins fans out there who had the most disgusting things to say against both PK Subban and the city of Montreal. I'm not going to repeat them, or even link to them, because I can't bear to read them again.
- On a more serious note, as much as I dislike the Bruins, I can't help but wish Patrice Bergeron a full recovery from this concussion.

Plus/Minus: Trade deadline is over

Hopefully my thoughts on the last week will be even a little bit cohesive. Turning the trade deadline into a drinking game was a bad idea on my part. The stress caused by Ryan White being told not to practice, then sent to Hamilton, then returned to the Habs mere hours later, was not my fault at all. (The rumour that Jarred Tinordi was traded is also not cool.)

PLUS

Go Bulldogs!

+ 3 What a game against the Canucks! A plus to Andrei Kostitsyn for finally busting out of his funk and putting some points on the board this week. And the biggest Stanley Cup contender in the league lost a game because of two of its shortest players. Fantastic goals by Gionta and Desharnais.
+ I'm looking forward to closing out the season with Brent Sopel. He knows what it's like to make a Stanley Cup run and above all he's a good guy.
+ Ryan O'Byrne had hisface sliced open on the ice, and finished his shift. I think it's really unfortunate (and yes, a little bit gross) that the injury had to happen, but O'B gets a few Chuck Norris points for this incident.
+ Great game by the Hamilton Bulldogs at the Bell Centre on Friday. Goals by new hire Nigel Dawes, my boy JT Wyman, and Aaron Palushaj (who's some kind of Bell Centre scoring machine).

MINUS

I have a couple more of these if anyone's interested

- I hate spelling mistakes. Especially when a professional journalist makes the same typo over and over and over again. I'll overlook it once or twice, but Francois Gagnon didn't notice after he typed "Cancuks" the twentieth time?
- I'm not good with trades, to be honest. So even though I knew that Ben Maxwell wasn't the guy to lead the Canadiens to a Stanley Cup victory, I'm going to miss him. Until I see him tomorrow in Atlanta and will have to cheer for my Habs.
- Mike Komisarek should get slapped for hitting Tomas Plekanec.
- Habs fans: Haven't we been through this before? You don't boo your own players. How can you hate Alex Auld when he's only started a handful of games?
- That being said, yes, I know. Phil Kessel and Brett Lebda scored goals and the Leafs beat the Habs. It sucks.

At least this week we won't have to deal with the stress of a Brad Richards rumour every other minute.

Plus/Minus: Shutout edition

If you're wondering why I haven't posted anything since the last Plus/Minus, it's because nothing came to me. The Andrei Markov injury had me so upset that I could barely do anything all week. I shuffled around in my pajamas most of the day, I rarely answered the phone, I couldn't sleep properly, I told everyone (and I mean everyone) that Eric Staal is the worst person on Earth... all in all, I've had better weeks. Some people. however, have certainly had worse weeks.

PLUS

How sweet it is

+ Two shutouts in one week. Carey Price is just fantastic. I'm probably not the only one who's been getting overwhelmed right when I realize that the game is really going to end in a shutout, then (of course) celebrating the team's win, then go over the edge a little when I see him point to the exact people he's throwing his First Star pucks to. Oh, and I'm not being a fangirl, but I might have been when I backed Laura from The Active Stick in an argument with a Leafs fan.
+ Thank you, Pat Burns, for your encouraging words to Carey Price. Clearly, they paid off. This is proof that nothing can stop a good coach. Rest in peace, Coach.
+ I'm adding myself to the long list of people who loved the Pat Burns video tribute. I somehow didn't burst into tears watching it. I'm not sure how that happened, but if it was a minute longer, I probably would have.
+ Lars Eller's been taking advantage of his (slightly) increased ice time.
+ Two Bulldogs in particular: Max Pacioretty is lighting it up, and Gabriel Dumont scored a game-winning goal which will hopefully prevent him from being benched more often than he should be.


MINUS

- I wrote an article for All Habs this week about the Price/Halak "controversy" and how it still hasn't gone away. But some people still just don't get it.
- So last season nobody could stop bashing Sergei Kostitsyn, then he comes back to Montreal for the first time with his new team and he's nearly invisible. If I were a TV producer I'd milk this for all it's worth and turn him into some kind of cartoon villain. However, I forgot that the Nashville Predators also have some random non-Hab Quebec-born player, so obviously he takes precedence.
- Ryan White is injured?
- It's been said already, but I can't believe Mike Richards decided to whine about PK Subban's attitude and apparent lack of respect. First of all, PK was probably the most aggressive player in that game, and that's kind of required when you're playing the Flyers. What, do you want my entire team to put their trenchcoats over puddles so Jeff Carter's new shoes don't get wet? How about not? And, seriously, Mike Richards? You looked like you met PK word-for-word. What could he possibly have said that could offend Mike Richards, who almost killed David Booth? One of these players is shooting off his mouth, that's for sure. But it's not the rookie.
- Speaking of concussion-causers, Andrew Ladd has been named captain of the Atlanta Thrashers. In this case, the C stands for "Couldn't he have been suspended even one game for destroying Matt D'Agostini last season?" Yeah. I hold grudges.

- Oh, Colin Campbell. If you're going to be a jerkstore, you should at least get a Gmail address or something and try to pretend you didn't send those emails. Doesn't everyone know by now that you don't use corporate email for personal purposes?
- All kinds of RDS graphics fails this week. I wish I had pictures. They got their dates mixed up for the CFL East Final, and tried to tell me that there is a "B. Byfuglien" in the NHL. In which case, Atlanta might want to start printing up T-shirts that say "Bustin Moves" or "Bustin makes me feel good."

- Oh, I almost forgot: Shut up, Don Cherry.

So, four games this week, including one against the Kings, which I have tickets to. What are the odds of me finding a way to keep Drew Doughty in Montreal? What if I remind him that Markov is injured and cry? Too dramatic? I'll keep working on it.

Plus/Minus: Cool as ice

Somehow this Plus/Minus is longer than the two games the Canadiens played this week. And considering how long that Devils game felt, that's saying something. I took a break from it to watch The Office and I doubt I missed a single thing.

PLUS

+ Andrei Kostitsyn: holy crap. I wish Statistics Canada could give us stats on how many people got rid of their #46 shirts before this season and now regret it.
+ I almost want to give Carey Price two pluses: One for playing so well, even though one of this week's shutouts didn't belong to him, and the other for giving me the kind of happiness that only comes from giving Carey Price a plus every week.
+ Steve Bégin has a job!! Proud of him.
+ Did you guys see Marc Denis on TSN? He was much more focused and articulate than I've ever seen him on French TV. He gets a plus for keeping it together in a language that isn't his first, on a network that has slightly higher standards than RDS.
+ Building another rink for kids to skate on. Canadiens > municipal government.
+ Elsewhere in the league: hat tricks! Daniel Alfredsson (scoring his 1000th NHL point), Brad Richardson led the LA Kings to a win (matching the #GoKings' win in the Twitter hashtag battle for charity) and John Tavares and Lee Stempniak scored their first NHL hat tricks. (It's OK, Stemps isn't a Leaf anymore.)

GONE

+ If you're a Flyers fan, savour this moment for all it's worth. I may never give a Plus to a Flyer ever again. But Scott Hartnell has truly earned this Plus for donating his hair to Locks of Love. There's a sick little kid somewhere who's going to love his or her new wig, no matter whose hair it contains. And anyone who's cut their long hair really short knows that you notice when it's gone.

MINUS

- We had to wait 5 (FIVE!) days between Canadiens games.
- And then not a single goal against the Devils.
- Did I mention that I didn't see last Saturday's game, so I actually went six days between games?
- Now that Dave Morissette, giant teddy bear and BFF of PJ Stock, has left RDS, all the network has going for it is, um, Pierre Houde. And ok, Guy Carbonneau too. What are the odds that they'll hire someone else I like, or fire pretty much anyone not mentioned here?

Is there anyone left in this picture worth watching?

- Speaking of RDS: Alain Crete. The jacket. Again.- Does Mike Boone think that the Four Habs Fans are holding auditions for a #5? In the last week alone, he ripped off their "capitalize the CH wherever possible" thing, imitated the style of their Morning Skate posts, and talked about hoochies ice girls. It's not funny when Boone does it. Do what you're paid to do, guy.
- You know what? It's not even worth writing about all this "Rick Rypien attacks a fan" business. If you didn't already know that you should accept the consequences of your actions, now you do. The "fan" got a little shaken up (literally) after getting out of his seat to shout at an already angry hockey player. Rick Rypien let out his frustrations on someone other than an opponent. Whatever. And, by the way, it seems a little strange to me that the "victim" gave his statement to the NHL, then went crying to the press, and THEN went looking for legal representation after that. Then again, I am neither a lawyer nor a lawsuit-happy opportunist, so what do I know?
- Edmonton: good job getting cheerleaders. You know, because having three of the most talked-about rookies in the league isn't going to help you sell tickets. Taylor who? People go to hockey games for the skanks, right?

Not sure if this is a plus or minus
Did anyone else notice, in his pre-Senators game interview, Tom Pyatt's hair made him look a little bit like Vanilla Ice?

Plus/Minus: Second verse, same as the first

The Canadiens have played their first home game. It's officially too late for your pre-opener Bell Centre shopping trip. (I had to make my trip all by myself for the first time ever this year. I was indecisive and trying to stick to a budget. It wasn't my finest hour.)
It was a pretty good week for the team. Most of them, that is. I can't necessarily say the same for people who do not play for the Montreal Canadiens.


PLUS

+ This is a very general plus: winning. 5 out of a potential 6 points is not too shabby.
+ Is this the resurgence of Andrei Kostitsyn? Or does he have a sense of humour, and wanted to take advantage of the "Frère Andrei" puns?
+ Carey Price. I happened to see someone I know over the weekend who is a huge (and I mean huge) Price-hater. He didn't have anything to say about the goalie. Thank you so much for shutting him up, Carey. It means more to me than I can say.
+ The Carey Price-PK Subban postgame celebration. Someone on Youtube dubbed it a "triple low 5" which makes sense. I like it.
+ It was a very simple introduction, nothing really out of the ordinary for Montreal, but I really liked the home opener ceremony. It may not have been as regal as the LA Kings' home opener ceremony, for instance, but the Bell Centre treats every game like it's a big deal.
+ Good to hear that former Habs, Glen Metropolit and Matt D'Agostini, are putting up points for their new teams.


MINUS

FAIL

- The Lightning beat the Canadiens during their home opener, but get pummeled by the Panthers? The PANTHERS, really? Why couldn't Dan Ellis have been in net on Wednesday night?
- The Buffalo Sabres really pulled out all the stops for their 40th anniversary! And their fans were excited beyond belief!
- The men on RDS commenting on the relative lameness of the Sabres' anniversary celebration. Those of us at home, who are not on camera, can say whatever we want. If you're on TV, it might be nice to show just an ounce of professionalism.
- 3 The Canadiens organization told us they had three big announcements, but none of them are really that great.
First, fans can vote for the game's three stars, which is a nice initiative, but incredibly flawed.
Second, they launch a smartphone app, which is supposed to be news, even though pretty much anyone who's anyone already has an app on the market. Not to mention that it's not compatible with many smartphones - Android is the world's top-selling smartphone operating system, and yet the app is only compatible with two Android phones. TWO. Neither of which is the phone that both Czechtacular and I are using. But whatever, you get all the news (and more!) by following Dave Stubbs and All Habs on Twitter.
Third, a Bell exclusive Canadiens reality show. A few years ago, I might have thought this was a good idea. But I know better now. Nearly everyone in Montreal will recognize their favourite Canadien if they see him on the street or out shopping. We live in one of the biggest NHL cities. A reality show seems superfluous. If this show had never been filmed, I'd be okay with that. (I might watch it, but I probably won't enjoy it.)

There's no Canadiens game until Wednesday Thursday. What on earth will I talk about on Tuesday night's Game Points?
No, fate, that was not a challenge.

Just Two Guys

Wow, in the same day we got news about two former Habs stars signing up for new projects.

Guy Carbonneau will be joining the RDS team, and I'm not sure what that means but I have a few ideas:
- RDS are a bunch of idiots for not hiring him earlier;
- We're done with Benoit Brunet and/or Joel Bouchard;
- There will be one man on RDS who wouldn't be caught dead in the fugly brown jacket;
- Carbo's chances of getting an NHL coaching job anytime soon are only slightly better than Bob Hartley's.

I watch more RDS than CBC, so this means a whole lotta Carbo for me. (I will not make a "carbo-loading" pun here, because come on.) Jacques Martin needs to be on his toes all season. One stupid move, one moment in which he's too calm, one ugly suit, and I'll be comparing him to angry Carbo. Who looks at himself in the mirror before he leaves the house.

We also found out that Guy Lafleur will be going on a farewell tour, playing seven games across the province from October to December. Why do I feel like this is going to be the hockey equivalent of every recording artist's farewell tour ever, which usually lasts three years, coincides with a new greatest hits album and a memoir, includes an appearance on Oprah, and is only a "farewell" tour until the market is ripe for a reunion tour?

Or, does this mean that we have to say goodbye to The Flower, who is the Guy Lafleur that everyone loves, and brace ourselves for even more Chatty Old Man Lafleur? Please, no. I like Hockey Lafleur. I don't like that other guy. Whether this "farewell tour" also implies retirement from unsolicited opinions remains to be seen.

Plus/Minus makes its playoff debut

This was the week the Capitals, the best team in the NHL this season, had to put up a fight against the Canadiens, who sneaked into the postseason like it was an R-rated movie. Elsewhere in the NHL, some players showed what they were made of. Stars are rising and fans are getting even louder. I'm actually making an effort to write Plus/Minus on a Sunday evening like I always intend to. It's definitely playoff season.

PLUS

+ to whoever decided to put Geico's googley-eyed wad of money on a board behind Pierre McGuire stood in the Verizon Center this week. I'm not saying I noticed a resemblance every time I saw McGuire on TSN... except that's exactly what I'm saying.
+ Jaroslav Spacek has played two of his best games of the season.
+ A lot of people think that Jacques Martin hates Sergei Kostitsyn. But Sergei's been playing pretty well, and usually plays better when he thinks it counts, so I'm glad coach decided not to bench him.
+ Also that other K brother is pretty cool.
+ Vancouver's Green Men.
+ Andy Sutton is hilarious. He needs to be a little more careful about, y'know, not knocking out other players, but he gets this plus for being honest with an annoying reporter.


MINUS

- The new Sidney Crosby shoe commercial - proof that sometimes, you should just let the animators do their work and not bother with celebrity endorsements or awful catchphrases. My feet don't need an energy drink.
- People paid just a little too much attention to Plekanec and Theodore's comments about each other. Sure, it sounds like they're spitting out wicked burns, but it's also proof that sometimes things get blown out of proportion.
- The genius who wrote into the Gazette with basically another letter about the NHL, money and the ethnic vote. Apparently today's NHL players don't deal with the shame of having fans talk to them in public and just prance directly from the ice onto a plane back to the scary, scary foreign countries they call home. I'm sure that's exactly what it's like. Every player on the Habs' roster lives in Montreal, at the very least, from training camp to the end of their season. I'm sure that at some point during all these long months (sometimes away from their families, other times right in front of them) someone will stop them on the street with an opinion, or interrupt their meal for an autograph, snap a picture with their phone, or tweet about them. Sure, some players are more motivated than others, but it's racist, ignorant blowhards like the Jean-Maurice who wrote this letter that create the kind of environment nobody wants to play in.

First home game of the playoffs tomorrow... go crazy, Montreal. Actually, on second thought, don't.

Plus/Minus apologizes for a weak week in blogging

Last week's Plus/Minus was overdue and below par, and then we didn't write as much as we usually do in a week, and this week's is also a couple of days late, so you probably hate HIHW right now, but HIHW still loves you. See? I'm making this Plus/Minus all fancy and up to standard.

PLUS

+ To our Hamilton Bulldogs for clinching their division title! Take THAT, other AHL teams!
+ To this guy...

because for some reason this made me laugh really, really hard. Congratulations, Hunter Bishop's cousin! Welcome to the fam.
+ Six wins in a row. Plus an OT loss that gave us one point, so six and a half wins in a row. Go Habs Go!
+ Plekanec's injury didn't seem to be that serious! For once in our lives!
+ To the Habs fan in Toronto who attended Saturday's game wearing a Kostopoulos jersey.

MINUS

I hate you right now, Regis... what? It's Regin with an N? Whoops...

- Let's be honest, it would have been nice to beat the Leafs. And the Sens.
- Bob Hartley gets the quote of the week: "Une game de hockey c'est comme la vie. Tu sais que ca va être un party mais faut que tu decides quand." (For you people not working in francophone offices, that roughly translates to "hockey is like life, you know it'll be a party but you gotta decide when.") If he never gets another coaching job and tires of being on RDS, he could always try his hand at writing American Pie movies.
- I gave myself a standing obligation to give Alain Crete a minus every time he wears that terrible eyesore of a camel jacket. So here it is. At least he's wearing it less often.
- File this under "words I never expected to put in the same sentence": I'm really glad that Travis Moen didn't lose an eye.
- Ryan O'Byrne, as I've said before, is steadily improving, but in order to really be Fancy New O'Byrne he needs to spend less time in the penalty box.
- Paul Mara's gone. Stupid shoulder surgery.

There's nine games left in the season. Nine games for our Habs to kick a little more ass before the toughest part of the year. Let's get it together, fans, and lose our minds in preparation for the playoffs. I promise I'll try to be here along with you, as long as the Internet permits it.
Go Habs Go!

A higher, faster, stronger Plus/Minus

Last week I actually wondered how I'd review a week with no Canadiens. Turns out it was much easier than expected, especially since last night the team I cheered for got beat by Ryan Miller and his ugly helmet, and I woke up to find out that other fans were whining about goalies. ("Luongo" was a Twitter trending topic the day after Brodeur started. My days of no goalie conflicts were good while they lasted.)

PLUS

+ for the superfans: the Vancouver Green Men who've been having their fun at the Olympics, and to the "He Shoots He Scores" gentleman who never misses a chance to cheer on Canadian hockey at an international level. (King blogger Dennis Kane mentioned him earlier this week, before I got the chance to, and I'm glad to know I'm not the only fan.) Does anyone know anything about this man? Should we give him a nickname? I'm thinking Mr. Canada, unless you think Hayley Wickenheiser wouldn't mind sharing the title of Captain Canada.
+ Our Hamilton Bulldogs for their 5-0 win on home ice at the Bell Centre. Yes, I said home ice.
+ for our medallists, for their hard work and their sheer glee at making it to the podium, and to the athletes who didn't win medals but gave it their all and just happened to be outdone by stronger/luckier contenders.
+ to the silver and bronze medallists in women's snowboard cross, who instead of being disappointed that they couldn't catch up to Maelle Ricker, acted like they were too happy to share the podium with her and share a happy moment with Canadians. It was a fantastic display of sportsmanship.
+ James Duthie has won me over during these Games. He's been relaxed and affable and he holds nothing back, from his burns on Michael Landsberg to his WTF face at the atrocity that is MuchMusic's ski cabin.
+ An enemy plus goes to Shaun White, who's ridiculously good and so fun to watch on the halfpipe. He makes me want to try snowboarding, even though I know it's not as easy as he makes it look.

MINUS

- Can anyone else believe the horrible taste that the Globe and Mail and Chartered Accountants displayed by running this ad mere days after the death of Georgian luger Nodar Kumaritashvili?
- to all the people who can't make up their mind about these Olympic Games. They say that our women's hockey team is too arrogant by finishing games with such high scores, and that the Own the Podium program is un-Canadian, and yet the very same media outlets will bitch and moan when a medal hopeful doesn't pick up any hardware. You can't complain about having one of the best teams in the world in one sport, and then picking on other Canadian athletes and calling them "disappointing"or saying they "choked" when they place fifth. How can anyone possibly be disappointed that their country raised and trained one of the best athletes in the world, even if they're not the number-one best? The shame shouldn't lie on the drooping shoulders of an exhausted, medal-less athlete, but on every un-patriotic countryman stupid enough to criticize them from the comfort of a couch or an office chair.
- to the genius who wrote to the Gazette this week and said that un-firing Georges Laraque would solve all of the Canadiens' problems (which he listed, by the way). Sure, having a little extra muscle might help during a time when all pucks seem to be directed at Habs' heads, but it's quite clear that Laraque was let go because things just weren't working out with him. I don't see how his return would change everything for this team, especially since the same end could be met by different means: finding another fighter before the trade deadline, begging Tom Kostopoulos to come back, reversing Greg Stewart's waiver situation, calling up Eric Neilson, or giving Travis Moen and Maxim Lapierre a slap in the face and a whole lot of Red Bull to get them good and angry. But I doubt that a fight here or there is what's keeping this team from the Cup finals. (I know I just played armchair GM after criticizing someone else for doing just that, and I'm sorry.)
- on a more serious note, our condolences go out to figure skater Joannie Rochette, who as of this writing has chosen to compete on Tuesday despite her mother's passing. It's not the kind of emotional situation that anyone should have to go through.

Well, it's been another week of ups and downs (mostly downs if you're anyone but me) but there's hope for our Olympians yet. And once the Olympics are over, there will be hockey.

Just what the doctor ordered...

... for everyone but Cammy. (Poor Mike Cammalleri. First that disgusting injury, then random, out-of-nowhere slander in La Presse. That's an FML moment if there's ever been one.)

Let's face it: the Habs don't have the best record, and they've got guys who are injured, guys who are sick, and guys who aren't playing as well as they always do. I was really hoping for a great game against the Canucks, win or lose. (Don't get me wrong - I wanted a win, but Halak and Luongo are my fantasy hockey goalies, so in this particular instance I'd get points either way.) Whoever spent $125 on scalped seats in the blues got their money's worth, for once. No, seriously, this morning I asked a scalper how much tickets were going for, and that's what he told me.

This is the kind of hockey that I'd love to watch every day... Two teams fighting for the puck, literally and figuratively, penalties going back and forth, and just enough goals to keep things going.

If I hadn't decided it already, I have to say that Joel Bouchard is completely useless. I appreciate his intentions in interviewing Kirk Muller, but he might just have the worst grammar of any English speaker on RDS. He was also wearing a shirt the colour of a Dora the Explorer lunchbox, and when asked what happened when Sergei Kostitsyn left the ice late in the 3rd and walked RIGHT PAST HIM, had little more to contribute than a Kanye shrug.
I know I do an inordinate amount of complaining about RDS, but this next thing isn't really their fault: Sami Salo's name doesn't translate to French very nicely.

If I had to guess which Habs were going to nab two penalties in this game, Roman Hamrlik might have been on the list. Yannick Weber would definitely not have been on the list. Then again, you can never predict when someone's going to get Ryan Kesler where it hurts.
I also wouldn't have guessed that a mini-rivalry is blooming between Ryan O'Byrne and Mason Raymond, but they took advantage of their shared ice time to get in a few hits. They're both my homies, so it was quite entertaining. In case you missed it, I was outed as a Raymond fan today, but it's really not Habs-threatening at all.

Me, I'm sorry, bro

When you're facing a goalie like Roberto Luongo (who's been 19-5-2 in the last two months, holy crap), you've got to step up your game. And our forwards did - those were some wicked goals. Luongo looked mighty angry after Plekanec's game-winning goal... but he knows better for the Olympics, right?

This wasn't necessarily the easiest win this team has had, but if our Habs can manage to play like this every game, it'll be a very good thing.

*Pictures cropped from Canadiens.com

Roar.

"Jordan Leopold" sounds like a turn-of-the-century poet's name. That kind of guy would never want to crush Mike Cammalleri. Thus, Jordan Leopold, you fail. (photo yoinked from Habs Inside Out)

Okay, so I'm not scared that our team is out of the playoffs just yet. Honestly, since when did so much negativity get anyone anywhere? (Right. It's how a fraction of sports journalists make their money. If I was willing to write "WTF? No more playoffs, ever" in this blog every day I'd probably be driving an Escalade everywhere instead of taking the metro.)

Tonight's loss against the Panthers was a stupid unlucky one; the kind of loss that hurts mostly because the other team didn't deserve to win. (Sorry, Shawn Matthias. You had a good game and all, but even you admitted that you scored a "garbage goal.")
It was an uncharacteristically inconsistent game for Andrei Markov, which hurts to admit, but we saw a great goal by Plekanec and a decent shot on goal by O'Byrne. So no, I haven't given up on this team just yet after a one-game losing streak.

More Habs tomorrow, this time against the Lightning, so get ready for a Lecavalier lovefest. (And maybe, just maybe a St. Louis lovefest if there's time. Steven Stamkos must love RDS because they don't hound him as much as anglo Canadians do.)

By the way, did anyone watching the game on RDS notice that Pierre Houde and Benoit Brunet wore matching outfits?

A victory for the rest of us: Thoughts on Habs v Canes

Tell any Habs fan that there's a game on December 23rd and they'll groan. The curse of the 23rd is something I knew about even before I could name the entire Habs' roster. (Or half of it, for that matter.) A lot of people probably thought the team was doomed.

Get it? Bad day, and a goalie mask? ...I've got better jokes, I swear

About the first: 
So, we've scored four goals and kicked Cam Ward out of his own house. Jaroslav Halak is in fine form and a lot of our forwards are playing spectacularly. I'm feeling a little less nervous.
Benoit Pouliot apparently thought his roster photo was some kind of a mug shot, judging by his terrorist-like stare and unflattering beard. (I'm not the girl to ask for actual information on him, unfortunately.)
Scott Gomez picked up a couple of assists to go along with the penalty he got on his birthday. (I got a laptop case for my last birthday. I didn't have to sit in a box to get it.)

Post-first:
The Team Canada roster doesn't come out for another week? That's a long wait! I don't want to wait that long. At least Cam Ward has a bit more time to make up for this first period.
Jacques Demers is pleased because Tomas Plekanec is poised to crack 100 points this season if he keeps up his wicked season. Or something, I was too busy shielding my eyes because I hate the wood-laminate background that the analysts sit in front of for away games.
Oh! Another RDS graphics bobo... they wrote in the wrong team when summarizing some stats before the beginning of the second. I know it's mean of me to point these things out, but if Benoit Brunet notices a mistake it's got to be somewhat noticeable, right?

About the second: 
Pouliot had an almost-goal, and then fell all over a bunch of dudes. Still, it was a pretty solid almost-goal.
Okay, yes, people have been saying that Matt D'Agostini hasn't been playing well enough, but how many guys come back from a concussion with guns blazing?
Carolina tried to make the best of their power play, but our PK and our goalie just won't let it happen.
Andrei Markov got a penalty for delaying the game, but as long as no one gets a puck to the head, he should get a hug from whoever catches the puck instead.
Aaron Ward got a penalty... Carolina has TWO Wards? Now, that's just confusing. They have one of the Staals, one of the Jokinens, one of the Ruutus (or they used to), and the other Conboy in their system. So... usually they're the team of other white meats, but this whole "two Wards" thing is throwing everything off.
GLEN METROPOLIT SCORED! The game is now 5-1. Gomez picked up an assist on that goal, making it a three-point night. You've got until Boxing Day to get your free chicken wings.

Post-second:
I don't think I'll ever like Joel Bouchard's bit with the replays and the John Madden pen. His candy-cane tie would look adorable on my dad, who is the master of funny ties, but my dad is not a sportscaster. (Also I think he already has a tie with Santa Claus on it, and two Christmas ties is just overkill.)
So, apparently, if you've got a game in the bag you can give anyone a chance and increase their ice time, or at least that's what the analysts said during Temps d'arret. Hopefully some guys won't run away screaming.
PJ Stock was in a commercial wishing me de joyeuses fetes. Now THERE'S someone I would have invited to my gag gift exchange this year.
Renaus Lavoie interviews Benoit Pouliot, who admitted to being nervous about the game but feels good now, even though he doesn't know the score. He's still got a bandaged-up hand, which makes me nervous, but he seems comfortable enough being interviewed, which is good since he'll be getting a lot of attention from the French media.

About the third:
It always freaks me out to see Glen Metropolit when he uses smelling salts.
Tom Kostopoulos and Georges Laraque shared some words. At the risk of sounding like a traitor, I'm Team TK on this one. He's indestructible.
I thought I was imagining it, but seriously, this game official has the most annoying voice I've ever heard come out of a man. Sorry.
Someone made Hal Gill angry, apparently, and a minor tussle erupts. Benoit Brunet calls someone a jerk as Gill heads for the box (cross-checking).
Carolina has some serious beef with Gill! What's up with that?
Carolina almost scores, but hits the post.
Just over 5 minutes to go, and it would appear that the stands are already starting to empty. Good to know that that happens in other arenas too.
A puck flies through the air and Halak catches it like this is a baseball game or something. It's brilliant.
Seeing a number 36 apparently causes our commentators to believe that D'Agostini is Jokinen... they've been on his back all night but that's one burn that might leave a scar.
But the game ends 5-1, so our team can shake off the curse, and skate off the ice smiling like it's Christmas. Oh, wait...


Butch Bouchard, he of the overdue jersey retirement, played in the Habs' last December 23rd victory (in 1945!) and expressed his faith in this year's Habs to crank out a win tonight, and they did. Butch Bouchard is now one of my favourite cheerleaders. The ice girls in Carolina can keep their belly shirts and Santa hats to themselves.

And there you have it. No painful loss, no "coulda been watching Glee repeats" from me, and no Festivus Airing of Grievances. And Scott Gomez gets to blow out his candles cheering.

Plus/Minus: A new century

There was no Gordie Howe or Viggo Mortensen this week. There wasn't even a hat trick this week, although AK46 came close enough last night. What was there to talk about, then? Plenty, with four games in six days and more of the same this week. Oh, and a family Christmas party at the Bell Centre!


PLUS

+ Somehow, we haven't yet mentioned how great Max Pacioretty has been in the last few games. I know, we're idiots for it. Please accept this Plus as our apology.
+ 3 The Kostitsyn brothers and Marc-André Bergeron have also been playing very well on their respective lines.
+ This week's injuries didn't seem to be as serious as we feared they'd be.
+ I guess heartburn is cool now, because I learned this week that Ken Dryden used to have terrible indigestion. I wonder if I can get the recipe for Dryden's magic green goo.
+ PJ Stock gently ribbed his co-panelists on L'Antichambre this week, and it was probably the best thing RDS has given me in a very long time.
+ We're assuming that Benoit Pouliot will be ready for the CH pretty soon.
+ Andrei Markov skated for almost an hour a few days ago. Some people are expecting him to come back as soon as this week, and as much as I miss him, I don't care when he comes back, as long as he's 100% ready to go. The mere thought of Andrei Markov getting better is enough for me.
+ More love for Cammy and Pleks: it was another very good week for team points leaders Tomas Plekanec and Mike Cammalleri, who we want to see on Team Canada.


MINUS

- Dave Stubbs, Dane Cook fan? Say it ain't so.
- The return of Carey Price's Mask of the Red Death. I don't hate it, but I liked the Centennial one. And the Remembrance Day one. And maybe the horsie one.
- Not so good with the Hamilton callups this week, eh, Bob?
- Didn't we already give this a minus? Alain Crete wore his fug brown-ish suit jacket again on Saturday. Do we need to find the stylists at RDS and personally ask them to stop assaulting our eyes?
- I know that there's no easy solution to our two-goalie situation, but if Halak gets traded, I'll miss him (to say the least). My views on the potential trade aside, I think that whoever leaked this story is a moron. Things didn't go so well last season after everyone heard that a few players were apparently being shopped around as part of trade packages. Morale dropped and fans' gums started flapping. Jaro deserves better.
- Chris Nilan admits he's had substance abuse problems but, like the fighter he's always been, is taking them on and has been sober for a few months now. We wish him all the best.


And outside of hockey... (Musical TV Edition!)
+ A delightful 13th episode of Fox's Glee, with enough great songs to tide me over until the show comes back in April.
- Flight of the Conchords announced that their HBO series will not have a third season and, thus, is over. At least the band will live on in real life.