Canadiens Road Trip Travel Guide

I'm happy that the Canadiens beat the Bruins and didn't lose 4 games in a row. Okay, "happy" doesn't quite cut it. Time to bust out the thesaurus. I'd say I'm either "delighted" or "jumping for joy." Now the Canadiens are preparing to leave town for two weeks and we'll all miss the comforts of the Bell Centre. I've come to expect a few things for this road trip, but I'm going to be a little naive and hope I don't see them.

No! Wait! Take me with you!

CG advertisements: Those stupid ads on the glass behind a goalie? They're ridiculous. I try not to look at them but they're right there, assaulting my eyes, trying to sell me something I generally have no use for. Isn't there another way for teams to make money? There are enough ads in the arena already. Leave the glass alone.

Consecutive losses: The Habs kind of spoiled us, waiting until December to lose 3 in a row. I had forgot what it feels like to be disappointed in your team. I didn't want to be reminded. So, no losing streaks. And while I'm on the subject...

Embarrassing losses: They're going to play, among others, the Islanders and the Panthers. The Canadiens are allowed to have heartbreaking losses against certain teams, but I don't know what I'll do if they lose to a team that's already stitching Sean Couturier's draft jersey.

Curse day doom and gloom: The Canadiens won on December 23rd of last year. They can very well do it again. They will not lose and if they do, they're not going to implode. Anyone who believes this probably shouldn't have put Carey Price on their All-Star ballot. Also, they're going to avenge Andrei Markov because they haven't seen the Hurricanes since a certain incident which I am not yet ready to discuss.

RDS shenanigans: I'll be happy when RDS posts holiday greetings from the Habs. I won't like it when they spend an irrational amount of time talking about a player on some other team just because he was born in Quebec. Yes, this means YOU, Philippe Dupuis, Bruno Gervais, and Mathieu Perreault. (There's probably no stopping a lovefest for Robidas, Lecavalier, or St. Louis, so no use in even trying, and I wouldn't mind some face time with poor Steve Bernier, who deserves better than being a Florida Panther.)

Fun in the sun: A second rule for RDS shouldn't need to remind us when they're in Florida. We see you, Pierre Houde, with a healthy bit of colour on your face and a light suit with no tie. We see you sweating a little, Benoit Brunet. We know that you're in Florida. You don't need to tell us about the weather or the beach, or laugh at us poor souls who are working - in icy Montreal - through the holidays. And please, someone keep Alain Crete away from the sun and the fake tanner. He was orange last year.

And, finally, it comes as no surprise that I should say:

Ice girls: Seriously, get out.

I know, I know, sometimes I ask for too much.

Reigned in

After last night's (fantastic) game, I feel pretty safe making a confession:

I think I like the LA Kings.
Maybe they like me back, I don't know.

fightin' over me?

The Kings may not have played a great game yesterday, and while I'm pretty sure it's not just because they wanted to make the Habs look good in front of me... you never know. Regardless of their recent mini-slump, they look pretty good. Or at least, they did, sort of. I was happy just to be at the game, despite my seats in the Molson Ex Zone (I tried to get tickets to next week's Sharks game, but it appeared to be sold out so I "settled" for the Kings. It was probably my subconscious telling me I'm a closet Kings fan). The last time I saw the Kings, I easily found tickets in the 8th row of Staples Center. The last time I saw the Habs, my fabulous friend Cathie scored seats at the back of the reds. And here I was, trying to watch the game from way up high, surrounded by a more rambunctious (read: irritating) crowd than I'd seen in the reds.

Part of the reason why the Kings lost this game is because rookie goaltender Jonathan Bernier is still finding himself in the NHL. He wasn't stellar, but he showed promise. I was really impressed by a glove save he made about halfway through the second period. I'll have to watch Canadiens express when I get home later to have a closer look at all of the Kings and their style of play, but a few of their stars shined bright.
Drew Doughty was solid. I will neither confirm nor deny reports that I turned to my sister and asked "Can we keep him?" As if he were a puppy or something. Juvenile, I know, but... can we keep him?
Anze Kopitar didn't get a point last night, but he looks so good on the ice. (No, not like that.) Every now and then there'll be a player on an opposing team that I just can't stop watching, because they're so good. Kopitar is that guy. I can't quite describe it. He's just so good.

On the Canadiens side of things... how can I not talk about Lars Eller? He's really starting to take shape now that he's found the right linemates and is getting some much-needed ice time. (Not that much, but nine minutes is better than four.) I think he still needs time to reach his full potential, and I'm still not sure if he'll be the franchise-saving superstar that some people think he is, but he's proven that he can be an asset to his team. So happy he finally got that goal! Now if only Tom Pyatt can score his first of the season...

If you think my reasons for contemplating the Kings as my #2 backup team are a little thin, let me end with this: I think I'm done with the Molson Ex Zone. I may not have loved the Staples Center, because it was too quiet and the fans were way too negative about anything that was not the Los Angeles Kings, but that's about as far as it went. They did not boo their own players. They didn't get in everyone's way on the concourses outside the arena (maybe because there's so much more space). They didn't block aisles when others tried to pass them. What did I see last night? Habs fans taunting Kings fans (of which I saw a few). Did the Kings fans get angry? Not really, they played along a little and were polite the rest of the time.
There were some pretty loud boos for Scott Gomez when the starting lineup was announced. I've been disappointed with him for a while, but I'd never boo a Canadiens player unless he disrespected his team directly (there are worse things than having a terrible season, you know). Then Scott Gomez scored and his name was met with cheers. From the same people who booed him. Heck, even the dim-witted couple sitting behind me couldn't make up their mind about half the roster. (Actual exchange: "Cammalleri's got the puck! He's gonna score!" "What happened? That idiot!") And then there was the completely useless Bernier-booing that started about 30 minutes in. Why boo someone you have no reason to boo?

I had the pleasure of sitting near two Kings fans, a father and son, in town from Los Angeles. They were by far the best fans sitting in my section. They were fun, but they weren't loud or obnoxious. In the last two or three seasons (basically the whole time I've known anything about hockey) they've been to over 20 road games to see their Kings. They went to Ottawa before coming to Montreal, and I think the father went to Buffalo and Boston as well. They haven't missed a single home game this season to date. (The son told me this, of course, after I raved about that dynamite game against the Stars, which he obviously attended.) In fact, they've barely missed any games at all.

They found the Molson Ex Zone a little bizarre, and who can blame them? It's the section billed as "the fan section", but is it really? People pay less attention to the game in Molson Ex. The random beer girls (who my LA friends compared to ice girls, UGH) are pretty useless when you think about it: they're just there for eye candy (when there's an NHL HOCKEY GAME going on) and to get the crowd pumped up (which shouldn't be necessary, we're the loudest fans in the league). How about Molson stops wasting their money on hoochies and second-rate rock bands and gives it directly to the Canadiens? I think I speak for all fans when I say I'd rather have lower ticket prices than a "fan zone." The entire Bell Centre is supposed to be a fan zone. That's why every game is sold out.
I spent the entire third period talking to the son (I forgot to thank him for giving up Jeff Halpern) and now I miss Los Angeles. We talked about the team, the city, and its sports fans. Sure, not all Kings fans are as classy as he and his dad were yesterday, but they don't boo their own team.

Oh well. At least hockey fans here don't stab each other like football and baseball fans do in California.

Plus/Minus: Cool as ice

Somehow this Plus/Minus is longer than the two games the Canadiens played this week. And considering how long that Devils game felt, that's saying something. I took a break from it to watch The Office and I doubt I missed a single thing.

PLUS

+ Andrei Kostitsyn: holy crap. I wish Statistics Canada could give us stats on how many people got rid of their #46 shirts before this season and now regret it.
+ I almost want to give Carey Price two pluses: One for playing so well, even though one of this week's shutouts didn't belong to him, and the other for giving me the kind of happiness that only comes from giving Carey Price a plus every week.
+ Steve Bégin has a job!! Proud of him.
+ Did you guys see Marc Denis on TSN? He was much more focused and articulate than I've ever seen him on French TV. He gets a plus for keeping it together in a language that isn't his first, on a network that has slightly higher standards than RDS.
+ Building another rink for kids to skate on. Canadiens > municipal government.
+ Elsewhere in the league: hat tricks! Daniel Alfredsson (scoring his 1000th NHL point), Brad Richardson led the LA Kings to a win (matching the #GoKings' win in the Twitter hashtag battle for charity) and John Tavares and Lee Stempniak scored their first NHL hat tricks. (It's OK, Stemps isn't a Leaf anymore.)

GONE

+ If you're a Flyers fan, savour this moment for all it's worth. I may never give a Plus to a Flyer ever again. But Scott Hartnell has truly earned this Plus for donating his hair to Locks of Love. There's a sick little kid somewhere who's going to love his or her new wig, no matter whose hair it contains. And anyone who's cut their long hair really short knows that you notice when it's gone.

MINUS

- We had to wait 5 (FIVE!) days between Canadiens games.
- And then not a single goal against the Devils.
- Did I mention that I didn't see last Saturday's game, so I actually went six days between games?
- Now that Dave Morissette, giant teddy bear and BFF of PJ Stock, has left RDS, all the network has going for it is, um, Pierre Houde. And ok, Guy Carbonneau too. What are the odds that they'll hire someone else I like, or fire pretty much anyone not mentioned here?

Is there anyone left in this picture worth watching?

- Speaking of RDS: Alain Crete. The jacket. Again.- Does Mike Boone think that the Four Habs Fans are holding auditions for a #5? In the last week alone, he ripped off their "capitalize the CH wherever possible" thing, imitated the style of their Morning Skate posts, and talked about hoochies ice girls. It's not funny when Boone does it. Do what you're paid to do, guy.
- You know what? It's not even worth writing about all this "Rick Rypien attacks a fan" business. If you didn't already know that you should accept the consequences of your actions, now you do. The "fan" got a little shaken up (literally) after getting out of his seat to shout at an already angry hockey player. Rick Rypien let out his frustrations on someone other than an opponent. Whatever. And, by the way, it seems a little strange to me that the "victim" gave his statement to the NHL, then went crying to the press, and THEN went looking for legal representation after that. Then again, I am neither a lawyer nor a lawsuit-happy opportunist, so what do I know?
- Edmonton: good job getting cheerleaders. You know, because having three of the most talked-about rookies in the league isn't going to help you sell tickets. Taylor who? People go to hockey games for the skanks, right?

Not sure if this is a plus or minus
Did anyone else notice, in his pre-Senators game interview, Tom Pyatt's hair made him look a little bit like Vanilla Ice?

CAR 5, FML 2

Hurricanes: more dangerous than rioting Habs fans!

Tonight was a great night to be a Carolina Hurricanes fan.

I mean, seriously, think about it. Here's one of the most important franchises in the NHL, ahead of the 'Canes in the standings, and away from a playoff spot by just one point. One little, tiny, minuscule point.

(And if I were any other blogger, right now I'd be making a joke about how "little" isn't a problem for this year's Habs.)

It's not just that the Habs played poorly, it's that the 'Canes played well. I think this was less of a "Why did we lose?" and more of a "What can we do to get Eric Staal on our team?" kind of game. Honestly. Near the end of the game Staal's eyebrows looked dangerously pale, and I tend to hate hockey players who don't have eyebrows. It was a pretty close call, but he burned Montreal pretty badly tonight.

Habs I/O proves that thing about a picture being worth 1000 words

This wasn't anyone's best game. I feel like this team has been working a lot on finesse, and skating little circles around the enemy (fancy Eric Staal-style?) but this wasn't the night for that sort of play, whether they were tight or a little clumsy. Tonight, the Habs had to be the perseverant, North American-style team we thought they would be once the roster was announced. It just wasn't there tonight.

Maybe we shouldn't be disappointed. This season's Habs are nothing if not surprising, and they can lose two games in a row just as easily as they can win them, and kick the Sabres' asses while having their own handed to them - twice - by the Hurricanes.

Maybe I should have let Kristin Chenoweth sing "Maybe This Time" to me a few more times. Maybe my friend shouldn't have prayed for Canada to win a gold medal at any cost, even the Canadiens missing the playoffs. (She admitted this to me about an hour ago. I had no idea.) Maybe it's because of the ice girls.

Yeah, it's definitely the ice girls and their half-shirts and their bad mojo. Lucky for us, there are no ice girls at the Bell Centre.

Dethroned: A game review

Pictures to be posted soon!
So, tonight was my first away game, and I think I know how to pick 'em.

(By the way, I really thought I had hit "publish post" on a game preview I wrote this morning, but alas I did not. Smartphones with data plans accepted so that these horrible oversights never occur again.)

How could I go to Los Angeles and be in town the same weekend as the Habs and NOT get tickets to watch them at Staples Center? I would have probably wanted to see a hockey game anyway, but somehow I was slightly less compelled to watch the Kings or the Ducks take on the Colorado Avalanche. Sure, I don't really get to see much of the Avs, and maybe Matt Duchene's rookie season will be something to talk about for a few years to come, but I couldn't settle for Colorado when Nos Glorieux were coming to town. (Sorry, Avs-loving friends.)

I was especially looking forward to seeing the Kings' gold medallist Drew Doughty and star player Anze Kopitar, who is beloved by one of my friends (who also loves Ovechkin and Avery, so I'm never too sure about trusting him). They didn't disappoint. I'd be happy to have them as Habs... which is not to say that I'm unhappy with our current roster, because obviously there was a lot to be happy about tonight.

Brian Gionta's surprise goal 22 seconds into the game brought Habs fans to their feet. (There were quite a few of us.) I'm guessing that he was what caused most of the Staples Center to be eerily silent for most of the first period. It was the quietest hockey game I'd ever been to, with the exception of this one douchebag who booed the Habs but didn't cheer the Kings at all. Benoit Pouliot deserved to be first star of the game.

This is what the game's three stars look like in Los Angeles... if I had access to Photoshop I'd have put a little puck or something in place of the film camera.

Jaro Halak played a smart game, knowing exactly what he had to do and where he had to be. Scott Gomez was extremely visible during his significant ice time (which pleased the adorable little girl I saw with "Go Habs" rubbed off one cheek but a very clear "#91" still painted on her other cheek). Travis Moen was the Canadien with the most shots on goal. I'd especially like to single out Ryan O'Byrne, who played a great game. Maybe I said too much about him at the beginning of the season, when he was still being criticized for his less-than-stellar turn last year, and maybe I noticed more than other people did tonight since I was on his side of the ice for the first and third periods (EIGHTH ROW, right behind the press photographers, oh yes that's right) but he was fantastic. He used his size and played aggressively. He delivered some really big hits.

As for what it's like to be a Habs fan outside the Bell Centre... um... let's just say I appreciate my fellow fans a little bit more than I used to. Because the Habs fans around me were pretty great, and some of the Kings fans... weren't so great. I already mentioned the douchebag a few rows behind me whose support of the Kings consisted of wearing an LA jersey and booing the Habs. Some of the Americans were also sore losers, apparently dissatisfied with Team USA making it to the gold-medal game. They booed their own defenceman because he played for Team Canada. I might hate it when Habs fans boo a former Canadien, or a self-goal, but booing Doughty was ridiculous. The contests didn't really get the audience involved - I guess I'd take the Kiss Cam or the Make Some Noise contest over seeing someone be handed a prize on the Jumbotron or watching the ice girls. If I wasn't before, I'm now most definitely certain that there's no place for ice girls in this sport.

There are more LA Kings fans than I expected, but as usual, like any unhappy fans, they left two minutes before the game ended because their team lost. I guess it's not as big of a deal if your 100-level tickets cost one-third of what they'd cost at the Bell Centre. As for the Habs fans? The post-win hoopla was a little more subdued on the ice and in the arena, so maybe it's not quite as fun as cheering on a winning home team, but there was just enough chanting and celebrating outside the game to make a Habs fan feel at home in the City of Angels, without making the Kings fans too sore.

All in all, it was a great game to be at. It's just a shame that everything goes by that much more quickly when you're close to the action, and I don't know when I'll get to see the NHL from the eighth row again. Even if I don't, I'm good for a while.

Things I learned during tonight's game

Apparently Martin St. Louis and Vincent Lecavalier were NOT announced as part of the Team Canada roster today. Did you know? I would have had no idea if it weren't for Jacques Demers telling me every two seconds. Because Joel Bouchard didn't mention it, and neither did any of the other guys on RDS, and there was no mention of it on Info Sports. And it surely won't be in any French newspapers tomorrow.
It's a snub so disappointing that not even Tampa Bay's ice girls were able to dance with conviction, acting as if they were useless, overstyled human Barbie dolls with the most pointless job in the universe.

He's clearly an excellent dresser! His knit cardigan skills would be much more useful in international sports competition than Joe Thornton's lousy goal-scoring.

Vinny's exclusion from Team Canada was clearly a bigger story than the unfortunate exclusion of Montreal Canadien Mike Cammalleri, and obviously more important than the fact that this season's star Tomas Plekanec will be helping out Team Czech in a big way.

(He also helped the Habs a bit tonight, but his OT game-winner will be overlooked quickly as soon as someone thinks of another French guy who's not going to the Olympics.)

No love from RDS for the guys who actually play in this province, but I feel for Cammy and Hamrlik and Spacek, who probably would have made great additions to their national teams but them's the breaks I guess. They'll get two weeks off to train on their own, with less risk of injury. It's not much of a reward, I know.

As for the game itself, because yes, there was a game today, which St. Louis and Lecavalier apparently played in between tirades by angry journalists:
I'm very, very happy to have Brian Gionta back, and Matt D'Agostini's efforts merit a mention. He's been getting a lot of grief lately for not producing since his return from injury but he had some good shots on goal tonight, as did Benoit Pouliot.

A victory for the rest of us: Thoughts on Habs v Canes

Tell any Habs fan that there's a game on December 23rd and they'll groan. The curse of the 23rd is something I knew about even before I could name the entire Habs' roster. (Or half of it, for that matter.) A lot of people probably thought the team was doomed.

Get it? Bad day, and a goalie mask? ...I've got better jokes, I swear

About the first: 
So, we've scored four goals and kicked Cam Ward out of his own house. Jaroslav Halak is in fine form and a lot of our forwards are playing spectacularly. I'm feeling a little less nervous.
Benoit Pouliot apparently thought his roster photo was some kind of a mug shot, judging by his terrorist-like stare and unflattering beard. (I'm not the girl to ask for actual information on him, unfortunately.)
Scott Gomez picked up a couple of assists to go along with the penalty he got on his birthday. (I got a laptop case for my last birthday. I didn't have to sit in a box to get it.)

Post-first:
The Team Canada roster doesn't come out for another week? That's a long wait! I don't want to wait that long. At least Cam Ward has a bit more time to make up for this first period.
Jacques Demers is pleased because Tomas Plekanec is poised to crack 100 points this season if he keeps up his wicked season. Or something, I was too busy shielding my eyes because I hate the wood-laminate background that the analysts sit in front of for away games.
Oh! Another RDS graphics bobo... they wrote in the wrong team when summarizing some stats before the beginning of the second. I know it's mean of me to point these things out, but if Benoit Brunet notices a mistake it's got to be somewhat noticeable, right?

About the second: 
Pouliot had an almost-goal, and then fell all over a bunch of dudes. Still, it was a pretty solid almost-goal.
Okay, yes, people have been saying that Matt D'Agostini hasn't been playing well enough, but how many guys come back from a concussion with guns blazing?
Carolina tried to make the best of their power play, but our PK and our goalie just won't let it happen.
Andrei Markov got a penalty for delaying the game, but as long as no one gets a puck to the head, he should get a hug from whoever catches the puck instead.
Aaron Ward got a penalty... Carolina has TWO Wards? Now, that's just confusing. They have one of the Staals, one of the Jokinens, one of the Ruutus (or they used to), and the other Conboy in their system. So... usually they're the team of other white meats, but this whole "two Wards" thing is throwing everything off.
GLEN METROPOLIT SCORED! The game is now 5-1. Gomez picked up an assist on that goal, making it a three-point night. You've got until Boxing Day to get your free chicken wings.

Post-second:
I don't think I'll ever like Joel Bouchard's bit with the replays and the John Madden pen. His candy-cane tie would look adorable on my dad, who is the master of funny ties, but my dad is not a sportscaster. (Also I think he already has a tie with Santa Claus on it, and two Christmas ties is just overkill.)
So, apparently, if you've got a game in the bag you can give anyone a chance and increase their ice time, or at least that's what the analysts said during Temps d'arret. Hopefully some guys won't run away screaming.
PJ Stock was in a commercial wishing me de joyeuses fetes. Now THERE'S someone I would have invited to my gag gift exchange this year.
Renaus Lavoie interviews Benoit Pouliot, who admitted to being nervous about the game but feels good now, even though he doesn't know the score. He's still got a bandaged-up hand, which makes me nervous, but he seems comfortable enough being interviewed, which is good since he'll be getting a lot of attention from the French media.

About the third:
It always freaks me out to see Glen Metropolit when he uses smelling salts.
Tom Kostopoulos and Georges Laraque shared some words. At the risk of sounding like a traitor, I'm Team TK on this one. He's indestructible.
I thought I was imagining it, but seriously, this game official has the most annoying voice I've ever heard come out of a man. Sorry.
Someone made Hal Gill angry, apparently, and a minor tussle erupts. Benoit Brunet calls someone a jerk as Gill heads for the box (cross-checking).
Carolina has some serious beef with Gill! What's up with that?
Carolina almost scores, but hits the post.
Just over 5 minutes to go, and it would appear that the stands are already starting to empty. Good to know that that happens in other arenas too.
A puck flies through the air and Halak catches it like this is a baseball game or something. It's brilliant.
Seeing a number 36 apparently causes our commentators to believe that D'Agostini is Jokinen... they've been on his back all night but that's one burn that might leave a scar.
But the game ends 5-1, so our team can shake off the curse, and skate off the ice smiling like it's Christmas. Oh, wait...


Butch Bouchard, he of the overdue jersey retirement, played in the Habs' last December 23rd victory (in 1945!) and expressed his faith in this year's Habs to crank out a win tonight, and they did. Butch Bouchard is now one of my favourite cheerleaders. The ice girls in Carolina can keep their belly shirts and Santa hats to themselves.

And there you have it. No painful loss, no "coulda been watching Glee repeats" from me, and no Festivus Airing of Grievances. And Scott Gomez gets to blow out his candles cheering.

Okay, so we've had better games against Atlanta

Tonight's game was great... if you're an Atlanta fan or Andrei Kostitsyn. (Maybe not so much if you're a Habs fan hoping for a wicked win when a cold suddenly hits you and you can't go out and party. I woke up this morning sounding like a completely normal person, and now when I speak it's like the Squeaky-Voiced Teenager and a lifelong smoker had a baby.)

Unfortunately, something happened in the second half of the game - I don't know if the Thrashers woke up or the Habs started slipping, but it was a pretty exciting game for a while. It just didn't end as well as it started.

The good news is that it's a pretty short flight home from Atlanta and the team will have some time to rest before facing Buffalo on Monday... this insane December schedule isn't doing anyone any favours and I'm pretty sure that fatigue is affecting a lot of players physically and mentally. (And who are we kidding, Ilya Kovalchuk is crazy good.) I think the game could have ended up much worse for Montreal, but a few players really came through for us when it mattered. For a better round-up of tonight's game than I gave you in this three-word post, go here.

Why the hell does the Thrashers staff need an ice girl to help replace a pane of glass? The girl gets paid to wear short shorts at hockey games in a state that's expecting 17 degree weather in the middle of December. I'm guessing she's not an engineer.
... Maybe it was bring your human Barbie to work day in Atlanta...

P.S.: Shoutout to the Ottawa Senators, who saw a flash of Classic Kovalev when he scored a hat trick against the Carolina Hurricanes tonight. 401 career goals! I bet Ottawa's hoping he keeps up the Classic Kovy act all season. I do too, as long as they don't beat us in the playoffs.)