Trade Deadline Emergency Kit

Last year, NHL Trade Deadline Day was all about sitting in my pajamas, watching TSN, and maybe drinking rum at hours when only pirates should be drinking rum. But that was before I became full-time, spending my Monday to Fridays at the office.

What's a girl to do to keep track of all the trades and drama (and boring lulls between the trades and drama) when she's at her desk, poring over spreadsheets and email alerts? She puts together a Trade Deadline Emergency Kit.

Cell phone. Like I did on Canada Day, I'll get a text message every time one of TSN's insiders tweets something, so I can see the news as it breaks. And yes, I'll have my charger with me in case it's a busy day and all the news drains my phone battery.

Stress ball. Luckily, I have one at my desk for those "Looks like [player you like] to [team you hate] deal is close to being done" tweets. I want to try and avoid yelling and whatnot at my place of work, if at all possible.

Post-it notes, next to my cell phone on my desk, to remind me of the day's most important projects in case I get too distracted.

Chocolate. To relieve the stress of bad trades, pass the time during the boring hours, and keep me awake in case I've got a case of the Mondays.

That's all I've got for now, but I think it'll be enough to get me through the day.

A Farewell to Long Arms. (And a hello to a name I've heard before.)

My heart broke a little when I heard we traded Hal Gill.
He was a giant tall man on a team often mocked for being too short. He was a nice guy in a city where people can be awfully hard on their hockey players. He blocked shots when no one else could. He took PK under his wing when we needed him to. He did justice to the bleu-blanc-rouge: He gave his all on the ice, and he was a great ambassador for his team off the ice. And he never fails to make me laugh.


I expected Gill to be traded at some point, but I didn't want it to happen because I like him too damn much. I wish him all the best in Nashville and I look forward to seeing him push them further in the playoffs.

As for what's coming to Montreal: It looks like a pretty fair trade, but only time will tell. I've learned by now not to judge a trade, purchase, waiver, or other acquisition until we've all had enough time to see some results.
That being said, there's something to be said for acquiring more youth. It'll do the team some good.
Apparently I've overestimated Blake Geoffrion's potential, but I'll wait and see what he brings to the team. Most people see his bloodline and assume that the Cup is ours. I won't go that far, but I will say this: my grandfather watched his grandfather play for the Habs. My Nonno came to Canada in 1949, probably not knowing what ice hockey even was, and learned to love the Canadiens soon after he got here. I watched hockey with him and the whole family when I was little, and stopped after he passed away. Then, like him, I became a real Habs fan a little later than most Montrealers. Now, I'll get to see Blake wear the CH. Regardless of what kind of player he becomes, it feels like things have come full circle.

Thank you, Hal. Welcome, new Habs.

Plus/Minus: Guys... Where are we?

I went on a short vacation last week. I spent five days in Florida, where seventeen degrees Celsius is considered unseasonably cold for January, two 23-ounce cans of Four Loko* will set you back a whopping five dollars, and people set up memorials (complete with paper signs) for a historic tree that burned down in a forest fire. I came back to a city where fans want their hockey team to lose and then are upset that they do, and where winter happens every year but drivers seem to forget that it exists. I'm still not sure which place is weirder. (Probably Florida, because they have lots of gators and gun stores.)


PLUS

+ Somehow, the Habs' open practice is always a bright spot in the season, regardless of who's there or how well the team is doing.
+ Saku Koivu scored a hat trick!
+ Former Hamilton Bulldog Ryan Russell scored his first NHL goal as a Columbus Blue Jacket. Congratulations?
+ My favourite thing about sports is sportsmanship. So it made me happy when Ray Lewis and Arian Foster signed and swapped their jerseys after a playoff game last week.
+ Rene Bourque scored his first goal as a Hab! Welcome to the jungle.
+ 30 Rock is back!
+ My interest in New Girl was starting to wane before the holiday hiatus, but last week's episode was great. I hope Lizzy Caplan's character sticks around for the rest of the season.
+ I may not agree with Tim Thomas' decision to skip his White House visit (after all, wouldn't a hard-working, beer-drinking proletarian goalie want to high-five Barack Obama and maybe sing a few bars?) but I like the way he handled it - so far, as discreetly as he could while still making the statement he wanted to make.

MINUS

No more.

- Okay but why would you put Scott Gomez in a shootout?
- The way the Cammalleri trade went down is an abomination. Yeah, I said it. Habs fans don't need any more drama, and we definitely don't like being the laughingstock of the NHL.
- I was supposed to go to the Habs-Capitals game last Wednesday. Considering that the Habs got shut out, and deserved to, I guess I'm not too beat up about missing it.
- Rest in peace, Joe Paterno. He did something wrong (which I will not defend), but he was also a successful coach whose players respected him and whose family will miss him, and for those reasons I absolutely will not be one of those heinous people who thinks it's funny that he died.

I don't know where my team is going, and I'm not sure I understand where they've been so far this season, but there's an Original Six matchup this week, and that's all that matters.

And, just because I put a Lost reference in the title of this post and didn't follow it up with anything, here's a smattering of Lost-related musings:

• Pierre Gauthier is the smoke monster. 
• What lies behind the shadow of the statue? Probably another confusing trade. 
• Kyle Wellwood ate too many Apollo bars.
• Andrei and Sergei = Jacob and the Man in Black? Discuss.
• Is Erik Cole like Montreal's Hurley?
• Do you think Jorge Garcia has ever been to Hurley's on Crescent?
• Half of "the numbers" are hanging from the rafters at the Bell Centre.
• You all, everybody.

*Do not drink Four Loko.

Plus/Minus: It's a mad mad mad mad mad world

Just when you think things can't get any crazier, they do. I'm pretty sure that there's some kind of universal law about that, no? If there isn't, can we name it after me? 

PLUS

+ No matter, what, the Habs' yearly children's hospital visits always get a Plus. The players have so many roles to play, and sure, sometimes they don't have their best game, and sometimes they spit a few clichés at beat reporters and call it a night, but playing the part of a sick little kid's hero? That's not the kind of thing you can do easily, and you can't just coast through it or fake it. These guys step up every year, and the kids love them for it.

+ Congratulations to Frédéric St. Denis on his first NHL goal!
+ Angry Josh Gorges.
+ It hurts to congratulate a goalie you play against, but both Curtis Sanford and Roberto Luongo were great in their shootout wins over Montreal this week.
+ That being said, no one can deny just how important Carey Price is to this team. I don't even want to think about where the Canadiens would be without him. He's every bit as talented and composed as he needs to be - any more would just be gravy.
+ Last Monday, in a game against Phoenix, Jonathan Toews did everything that you could possibly want a star forward to do.
+ As a TV fan, I believe that a good Christmas episode should have you in stitches and/or tears, preferably both at the same time. My TV comedies were great at that last week: especially How I Met Your Mother and Parks and Recreation with the tears.
+ Taran Killam's recreation of Robyn's "Call Your Girlfriend" video: pure hilarity, and proof that the people on SNL are funnier than you think they are.

MINUS

A week ago I'd have thought this was Photoshopped

- I’m kind of glad that Madonna being announced as the Super Bowl halftime performer wasn’t the biggest sports story of the week. Way too much whining about this as if it were a problem. It’s not a problem. There are two kinds of people in this world: people who like Madonna and people who lie.
- Sure, Spacek was an inconsistent, goofy, injury-prone big lug, but he was OUR inconsistent, goofy, injury-prone big lug. I wanted to keep him.
- Pierre Gauthier and Jacques Martin tried awfully hard to spin the Kaberle trade to appease Habs fans. I would have preferred honesty over blank praise. I know it's never going to happen, but I still kind of wish it would.
- Is it terrible of me to think that maybe Sidney Crosby wouldn't be out of a roster spot again if he hadn't started playing again when he did? People thought that his recovery was some kind of a miracle, and the greatest thing in sports or something. And I hate to Grinch all over it but maybe he was rushed back too soon, by doctors who may not have known that it was too soon, and maybe this just proves that we don't know enough about brain injuries.

- I have no idea what would motivate Pat Hickey to write such terrible things about Theo Fleury. But to think that he actually thought, and wrote, and then actually submitted these things for print is just awful. I can't even put it into words.

- If you follow me on Twitter, you may have seen yesterday that I got mad at someone who made a rude comment towards me. I'd like to elaborate a little on that. I maybe got a little too angry, and tried to stoop to his level. In the words of Bob Gainey: "When you're being bullied, if you don't stand up for yourself... who's going to?" I'm sorry if the way that I expressed myself seemed immature, but I was upset, and I will never not be upset when someone tells me I can't or shouldn't do something just because I'm female.

Plus/Minus reaches for the Pinot

A week has passed since the last Plus/Minus, and the team has lost enough times to change my mind about this "all Plus" business. (See my previous post for foods that can help you deal with all this.)

PLUS

Can we send this in to Cute Overload?

+ I shouldn't condone violence, but Carey Price is the only Hab willing to stand up for Carey Price, so he might as well have given Nazem Kadri that little smack upside the head. (Yeah, I said it. I'm sure Leafs fans are going to start pelting rocks at me for it. Whatever.)
+ Congratulations to Hal Gill on his 1000th career NHL game, and can I again say that his family is so adorable. Also mad props to whoever in the organization decided to have his teammates give flowers to his wife and mother - so cute!
+ Congratulations to Mike Cammalleri on his 500th game, and to former Hab Ryan O'Byrne on his 200th game.
+ Josh Gorges scored a goal!! ...wait, what? They gave it to Travis Moen? Okay, fine, I guess Moen is still a goal-scoring machine.

MINUS

Yeah, so that Bruin is now a Hab

- Hamilton Bulldog Joe Stejskal got hit pretty badly this week.
- Brock Trotter came back from Europe... only to get traded away. Can someone explain to me what is happening?
- Ads on the glass, RDS? Are you freaking serious? I've always hated those, and hoped I wouldn't have to see them on a regular basis, but RDS didn't listen to me. What's next? Is Mario Tremblay going to change his name to Ford F-150?
- Two consecutive losses to the Leafs? It makes my heart hurt.
- People calling for Jacques Martin's head: Firing a coach isn't going to solve all the team's problems. I don't like him either, but pointing fingers isn't going to help us get through this.
- And a Minus to indulge the superstitious side of me: Someone take Carey Price's pink pads (even though the breast cancer awareness angle is incredibly thoughtful) and burn them. Sacrifice them like Carey did to Josh Gorges' stick a couple of years ago. PLEASE.

It's all right. Tomorrow is another day. They might win, they might lose... But the beauty of tomorrow is that we don't know, and that each new game is a chance at a new start. That's a Plus, right?

It's always spiteful in Philadelphia

I forgot that those "What DIDN'T happen today?" days could happen in June.

So the Flyers take away Columbus' Jakub Voracek and give them Jeff Carter, who I don't like precisely because he's a Philadelphia Flyer. But he didn't make Team Canada without being good at hockey, so this might actually be good for the Jackets. Do I stick to my stubborn guns or swallow my pride? Is this how Columbus reacts to being pushed aside last season in favour of the more exciting LA Kings? It was like your favourite indie band selling out and putting a song on some superhero movie soundtrack, but the song isn't terrible, and you don't know what to think of them anymore.

Oh, but then Philadelphia wasn't finished messing with what could have been a fabulously productive day. No, why would they be? I'm going to look up the name of the Flyers' GM (I don't know it because I really couldn't care less about the guy) then find him on Facebook or something and give him a piece of my mind.

(Paul Holmgren, eh? Well, get ready for a strongly worded email, Paul.)

It's no secret that I'm not a fan of Mike Richards. He's my age but he looks and acts like he's someone's dad, and that is not to be taken as a compliment. (Not in this instance. But I know lots of great dads, including my own, who are much better people than Mike Richards.) I'm also confused whenever teams trade away their captains, unless they really don't want the guy as captain anymore for some terrible reason. (Maybe I'm just too loyal to captains.) But, whatever, even though the Flyers built Mike Richards and thus deserve him, they decided to put him up for trade. 

And, of course, to spite me, they go after the Los Angeles Kings, who I'm having a not-so-secret flirtation with. So, yeah, in some cruel twist of fate, we'll all get to see Mike Richards in a Kings jersey next year, and not in a "dump a bucket of pig's blood on him at the prom" kind of way. Remember when Richards went off about P.K. Subban and rookies and respect and stuff? The Kings are in the middle of a renaissance, aided in part by all these draft picks and prospects. He's either going to teach them something or turn into a whiny old man really fast.

At least Brayden Schenn will be spared of potential rookie-bashing? Nope, there's no bright side to this.

To make matters worse, Wayne Simmonds is a Philadelphia Flyer. I love Simmonds. I don't love the Flyers. This does not compute. There have been rumours of Simmonds trades for a while now, and I was really hoping he'd stay put. Or maybe be traded to the Habs, because who doesn't want a fast, aggressive, threatening goal-scorer? Instead, he was taken away from a team that I love and sent to the Flyers. And I already know that he'll make a great Flyer, and I'll have to watch him be a great Flyer four times this year against my Habs.

It hurts.

So in one day, Philly poached two players Czechtacular loves and two players I love from the Western Conference. Nope. The Flyers aren't doing anything to make me like them.

Unless this whole Wayne Simmonds thing pans out.

Happy anniversary, Josh

Wow. Today marks the 4-year anniversary of the trade that brought Josh Gorges to the Montreal Canadiens. Four whole years. That's a long time. Am I supposed to know everything a grown-up hockey fan knows by now? Please say no.

Anyway, when Josh became a Hab I couldn't even be called "Rookie" yet. I was, at best, a draft prospect. I couldn't even have told you that the freshly traded Craig Rivet was assistant captain, or that that was what it means when there's an "A" on someone's jersey. I only found out after hearing all the complaints from people I knew that assistant captains shouldn't be traded away for no reason. While I may still think that the concept of trading hockey players is a little cruel and kind of barbaric, I didn't really get why all the frustrated fans, already missing Rivet, were already complaining about what the Canadiens got in return. All the "we don't even know who this guy is!" and comments of the like just seemed hurtful. Here was a guy that no one knew anything about, and they were already writing him off. Being the kind soul that I am (when it comes to Habs) I told everyone to give the new guy a chance, and I tried to lead by example. It worked out pretty well for me, I think.

He came to the team at about the same time as I did, so obviously I'm sort of attached to him. I told people not to hate on the new guy. I cheered when he (finally) scored his first goal as a Hab. I gasped when I saw him pick a fight with Dion Phaneuf. I was inconsolable when he took a puck to the head. I smiled when I saw media outlets and teammates saying he'd make a great captain for the greatest franchise in NHL history. And I really, really wish he wasn't missing most of this season.

Happy anniversary, Josh. Here's to four more years (or more, hopefully).

(Also a very happy anniversary to the Canadian Olympic women's hockey team. One year ago today, they won gold! I couldn't be prouder.)

Serious New NHL Trade Rumours! For Real!

Friday was one of the busiest trade days in recent memory. Somehow, though, I know that we haven't seen the last trade of the season. With a little over a week left until trade deadline, we're probably all on the edge of our seats. But what would happen if the league's GMs ran out of cap space for players they want to buy, or simply decided they were done?

Would they start trading other stuff? Because I have some rumours to start.

LOS ANGELES has been making aggressive offers to COLORADO concerning Matt Duchene. They've offered The Real Michael Cera, as well as an assortment of hoodies, in exchange for Duchene. (But it's a bit of a longshot, because Colorado knows that Hollywood has no more use for Cera with the recent emergence of Jesse Eisenberg.)

DALLAS may send a Texan Cowboy to CALGARY in exchange for an Albertan Cowboy.

ANAHEIM and LOS ANGELES are both fielding calls left and right re: Churro Stands. Teams interested include NEW YORK RANGERS (Hot Dog Cart), NEW JERSEY (One Cake Boss Cast Member), and MONTREAL (one Lafleur's franchise).

More MONTREAL updates: Pierre Gauthier has been fielding offers for Ryan White's Hair. He refused EDMONTON (Ryan Jones' Hair) after yesterday's loss, but might still be in talks with VANCOUVER about Ryan Kesler's Hair. Any speculation about a trade with ANAHEIM (Ryan Getzlaf's Hair) is completely unfounded.

PITTSBURGH has asked Hilary Duff to waive her no-movement clause in hopes of sparking the interest of NASHVILLE (Carrie Underwood). David Poile has refused the offer, but TORONTO has offered Elisha Cuthbert and two draft picks.

The NEW YORK RANGERS have contacted CHICAGO in an attempt to get Patrick Kane's Awful Sweater in exchange for Sean Avery's Hipster Glasses.

The rumoured OTTAWA-WASHINGTON deal (Stephen Harper for Barack Obama) is not going to happen.

Hottest rumour of the day: It appears that PHOENIX may send Paul Bissonnette's Twitter Skills to CALGARY for Craig Conroy's TV skills.

Confirmed: MINNESOTA has agreed on terms to take Sand from FLORIDA in exchange for Snow.

The year that was, the year that will be.

You're probably all missing Rookie right now, as I am not the most reliable of bloggers seeing as I have missed just about the last ...oh, five games in a row due to the holidays and really, just not being around. I even betrayed you all for a bit by entering the ACC at the same time the Habs were set to face off against Dallas. Note that missing this much hasn't happened in the last twelve years, which either says something about my poker-playing skills or bad train-scheduling abilities.

But the Habs haven't exactly made me feel terrible about missing their frustrating, heart-wrenching, goal-starved performances. My phone has almost been choked to death the number of times I refresh my GameCenter app, hoping it's lying to me. I get back in the car on the way home and callers always seem to be on the verge of becoming clone artists of Angry Sal. It's upsetting and certainly unsettling that this is what they're going through, but maybe sitting these games out is what allows me not to want to panic, and be almost alone in that boat.

Or maybe it's the experience. 1998 was not your bandwagon 2004 year by any means, and that's when I came on board. AKA slumps like these are not the worst I've seen.

This. This is probably the worst thing I've seen.

This year marked a lot of things for the Bleu-Blanc-Rouge, which can (and should be) called upon to remember in times like these:

• Injuries, callups, demotions. Andrei Kostitsyn had knee surgery and Max Pacioretty ...he was just plain not ready. Despite all the flack he gets, Kostitsyn is still third in team scoring and leads with +9, whereas Pacioretty, after his excellent start in the AHL this season, was the lone guy to get on the board for the Habs last night.
• More injuries. The world seemed to end when Mike Cammalleri showed up in crutches to practice that day in February. Despite missing 17 games, he came back just in time for the playoffs and was instrumental in the Habs' run with 19 points in 19 games, 13 of them goals.

(But first we had to see him in That Suit. The one that did not look one bit like this one, unfortunately.)

• Pierre Gauthier named General Manager. In what can at best be called a bizarre move at a time no one expected anything from Bob Gainey, much less him stepping down, a new/old face stepped up to fill the void leaving Habs' fans more confused than before. He still gets questioned on a daily basis, but now it's "that Gauthier" instead of "that Gainey." More on what he HAS done later, though.
• Mid-February: P.K. Subban called up. His status then was God, with 39 points, a +29 and having all sorts of roles in record-breakers in Hamilton. His status now... not so much. I'm about to quote a girly movie, and I won't tell you which one, but we have to remember what used to be good, otherwise we won't recognize it if it hits us between the eyes.
• 24/7 has nothing on us. Possibly the best thing to happen to both the Penguins and the Capitals was facing the Habs in the playoffs this season. The two seven-game series were supposed to come out with different victors, but when does what's SUPPOSED to happen actually happen, anyway?
• Halaknophobia. Which is quite possibly the most amusing headline Canadiens.com has ever come up with, seeing as they're not Rookie. Who can forget the stop-signs and the walls and agent drama and goalie drama and putting that aside and just winning, for goodness' sake, and winning big. In the regular season, in the playoffs, bringing with it the hero status and The Trade. Oh no.
  
  
• And Pierre Gauthier's move eventually makes some bit of sense. The re-signing of Tomas Plekanec to a six year deal, keeping the guy who's currently leading the Canadiens in scoring where he should be and where he always pictured himself being despite the temptations of free-agency. It's a move that validates itself every day.
• Marc-Andre Bergeron: not re-signed. And thank your lucky stars. Could you imagine the state of the current D when he's what you have to rely on? Not that the suggestion won't be brought up again in these times of so-called peril #JustSayNo
• Guy Boucher named AHL Coach of the Year...only to wind up in Tampa Bay. And that's the last reference to last night's game that I think I'm going to safely be able to use in this post. But you have to admit it has enough bite to act as a motivator. Right? Right?
• Dan Ellis and Dustin Boyd to Montreal for S. Kostitsyn. Harsh critiques and Twitter-wars of massive proportions ensued in what would ordinarily be considered the least blockbuster-esque move in pre-July 1st history. Now, slowly but surely, Kostitsyn has found his niche in Nashville, which at least some of us wished for him (and even those that didn't can take solace in the fact that he's so far from this division it doesn't even matter), whereas Carey Price didn't even need Ellis, and Dustin Boyd, after a tumultuous heart-breaking series of waiver-trips, has exploded for ten goals in the AHL's longest goal-streak this season.
• Finally, a Captain. Brian Gionta was given the 'C', becoming the 28th player to wear it in the Habs' history. He now leads the team in goals (tied with Cammalleri) with 12 and shots with 150 (where he's also eighth in the whole league).
• Markov out again. Emphasis on again, because that word implies that it's happened before. It's starting to be felt only as of late, even if people might forget it happened back in November. That in itself is how far this team has come. Josh Gorges joins him now, and that's going to hurt more, but with injuries to the D comes the reminder of the LAST line of defense, which leads to...
• The resurgence of Carey Price. First stars and Molson Cups aplenty for the guy most had given up on last season, including him in trade rumours of the worst kind that are hopefully documented in many places where we can laugh at them. Who's that guy that didn't even make it to the All Star Ballot and is only behind--who is it? Marc-Andre Fleury in the goalie slot? Hmm.

I'm set to miss a sixth game in a row, unless Santa brought my grandfather RDS and didn't tell him about it. I'm going to go with no. And tonight the opponents are the Florida Panthers. Despite it being the second half of a back-to-back, call it just a little hunch that this team isn't about to surrender a 2010-ending W that easily.

We have no Ryan O'Byrne

We have a Michael Bournival instead.

via Francois Gagnon on Twitter this morning:

Ryan O'Byrne vient de quitter le vestiaire du Ch avec son équipement sur une épaule et Scott Gomez qui transportait ses bâtons à ses côtés.

Yes, that's right, just as we were all practicing a moment of silence for our veterans and fallen and current soldiers, I found out that Ryan O'Byrne was traded.

Of course he was. We all saw this coming a mile away. He barely had any ice time this season, and wasn't necessarily impressive when we did see him. I think (and hope) he'll improve in Colorado, not unlike his former teammates who've found their place in the Western Conference. And yes, I am one of those people who think that he might not have been developed to his full potential. I might not be able to pinpoint exactly where things went wrong or who's at fault, so to speak, but I think that O'Byrne's best games were proof that he was capable of more than what we saw. Maybe he just needs the right coach, or the right teammates, to give him that extra push. Maybe if his play improves in the next two seasons, someone will finally start to wonder whether some Canadiens' prospects were improperly developed, rather than just bad draft picks.

And maybe, just maybe, after combing through the details of his career to date in light of this trade, we can stop making "Ryan O'Byrne stole a purse" jokes. Or at least make a whole lot less. Don't people know by now, that those have been replaced by "Patrick Kane in a taxi" jokes?

So, get with the program, people. Wish Ryan O'Byrne good luck in Colorado and make sure you've got a Patrick Kane joke up your sleeve. Oh, and brace yourselves for the eventual arrival of Jarred Tinordi, who I'm hoping will be Ryan O'Byrne with a happier ending.

This day only comes once a year

I said it on time on Twitter, but I'm a little late here. It's a big week for my boys from BC. Saturday was Josh Gorges' birthday (26 turned 26!), and today is Carey Price's birthday, which is almost over, but if he's still on the West Coast then I've got quite a while left to send him good birthday vibes.

I didn't make any cupcakes for the occasion, and now I'm too intimidated.

I'm not sure what it means, though, to have your August birthday come and go without a new contract and watching a Hamilton goalie get traded for another support-staff goalie. I don't think there'll be any Carey/Karri hate going on, but it's kind of like your parents talking about your brother while you blow out your candles. Should we be paying attention to other goalies when there's a pretty big one who needs to be taken care of? (Most people are saying yes. So this is where I remind you all that I go by "Rookie".)

Saturday was also the birth day - literally - of my cousin's son. Little Jacob is cute, healthy, and 18 years away from being draft eligible. Tell your scouts about him!

Lost a player you love?

Hearing that one of your favourite hockey players was traded, or that he just moved away, is never easy to stomach. The 2009 offseason proved that. There isn't much you can do about it, outside of complaining to every news outlet you know or maybe writing your GM a strongly worded letter (send us a copy if you do!), and it can be a lot to handle emotionally. You might need to have some worthless breakable objects around in case you get really angry. Or you might need a tub of ice cream and some sad songs to help you feel better.
That's where we come in.

Introducing the I Can't Believe He's On Another Team playlist. It might help a little.

No Doubt - Don't Speak. I know from experience that it helps!


Matchbox Twenty - If You're Gone. It's a little cheesy and sad, but I kind of secretly love Matchbox Twenty. Don't you judge me. You're the one stuffing your face full of chocolates and weeping.


The Fray - Never Say Never. Because basically every song by the Fray is sad enough for an occasion such as this.

oh, and if you're really mad at management then their cover of Heartless might do it for you.



Metric - Combat Baby. I went with a live acoustic version here for you, because I love the original version (it's just as melancholy but the electronic sound makes it a bit more bouncy) but it sounds amazing when it's stripped down.


Heart - Alone. Because if you're really down, an 80's hair power ballad might be the only thing that can pick you up.


Or maybe you don't want to be emo anymore and want to try and cheer up and convince yourself that everything will be okay.

Here's to you, Jaroslav Halak

Traded to the Blues for two guys who'll have to show us what they're made of. Mostly because I know almost nothing about the St. Louis Blues. Usually I have to be reminded that they're even a thing.

Jaro started the season somewhat out of the spotlight, then grew in popularity as he became "the other white meat," an alternative to Price that Camp Carey Boo were constantly calling out for, then got the ice time to prove just how talented he is, behind both the Canadiens and the Slovakian Olympic team, then became such a mythical figure that his talent was celebrated even outside the Montreal bubble. Some TSN analyst described a brilliant third-round performance by Antti Niemi as "Halakian."

So it looks like we've got to say goodbye to the Halak puns and the stop signs. He'll post shutouts for other teams.

Jaro and Carey might now have a shot at each getting the ice time they need and deserve, and we might finally see an end to the childish, Twilight-esque rivalry.

But that doesn't mean I'm happy for the St. Louis Blues.

Plus/Minus: about a team that's got more energy than I do

This Plus/Minus is a little bit late and a little bit low-fi, and you readers deserve much better than that, but LA happened, then Continental Airlines happened with their red-eye flights and insanely boring inflight movie that bored me nearly to the point of sleep (but not quite, unfortunately), then jetlag happened, then sleep-deprived 18-hour days including work and workouts happened, then daylight savings time happened, costing me more sleep, and now I'm quite sure I have a cold.
So be forewarned, there are no colours, and I haven't proofread. It's like improv! Unscripted! Like Twitter, only longer!
... Nope, there's no way to make it sound fun. Please don't hate me.


PLUS

I had no choice but to yoink this from Habs I/O, as it's just the cutest thing ever aside from kittens

+ 6: Habs winning = happy Montreal.

+ to the gentleman who coined "KilimanJaro": my favourite pun right now.

+ to the Bell Centre DJ's sense of humour: playing the Tragically Hip's "Courage" as injured Tomas Plekanec made his way off the ice during the Tampa game... somehow, the lyrics "It couldn't come at a worse time" seemed to fit pretty well.

+ Andrei Markov, in general.

+ For the next week or so, I say we call #31 "Big Haircut." I'm so happy I could cry.

+ Kathryn Bigelow has finally proven, once and for all, that ladies can play with the big boys. And that's what this blog is about: reminding people that girls kick ass. (Also, hockey.) So suck it, James Cameron. (I'm putting a minus within this plus for Alec Baldwin, who I'm a huge fan of, but if he really for some reason felt the need to congratulate Kathryn Bigelow by smacking her ass, he could've at least waited until the telecast ended.)

MINUS

- I usually hate people who whine after a player gets traded, but there aren't as many people lamenting Matt D'Agostini as there should be, so here's my two cents: I'm going to miss 36 because his trade (to the Blues, no less, one of the more forgettable teams in the league, no?) marks another step in the dissolution of a boys club that I happened to love. Dags, Kyle Chipchura, Greg Stewart, and Carey Price won the Calder Cup together and brought some much-needed rookie energy to the Habs last season and the year before. They were all good friends off the ice, and the fact that they're the same age as me made them seem relatable, I guess kind of like the way that francophones like seeing Habs that are quebecois pure laine. They were a little group that I could root for within my favourite team, and while I don't like it when teams are broken up into cliques that eventually lead to conflicts, it was kind of nice to have a little core of guys that I could relate to, that would've been at my elementary school if we were all born in the same city. But now that little group is gone, leaving only Carey. Don't get me wrong, both he and I love the players that are on the Habs' roster right now, but it's not quite the same as it used to be for me. (Not to mention that people complained about D'Agostini's productivity this season, somehow forgetting that he was gone for over a month and suffered a pretty serious concussion... everyone remembers that Andrei Kostitsyn wasn't so dynamite after his head injury last season, and everyone knows how he's doing now, a year later. So if D'Agostini happens to tear it up next season in St. Louis, I'll hate to say I told you so.)

- Did Maxim Lapierre really deserve a four-game suspension for his hit? It warranted punishment, definitely, but four games seems like an awful lot when compared to other nasty hits and their accompanying sanctions. Looking at you, Aaron Ward. And you, Mike Richards, who almost killed a dude (but I guess a lifetime of playing for the Flyers is punishment enough). Sure, Ovechkin got punished for a hit that turned out to be a lot more damaging than he meant to, but it's just further proof that

- To the wonderfully classy and intelligent gentlemen who showed up to the Oilers game in blackface and Afro wigs, with "Subbanator" written on their jerseys. Words cannot describe their stupidity, and I'm glad I'm not the only person who thinks they need to wear blackface a little more often so than passersby can throw eggs and other objects at them. (Props to Mike Boone for this gem: "Either bar those schmucks from the building or rename it the Jolson Centre.")

- What's with that suit jacket, Mike Cammalleri?

Blood in the water: Game Preview 3-4-10

It's no secret that the Sharks have been true to to their name this season. Well. Pretty close to it, anyway. Sitting at 89 points in 63 games, they reign over the sea of the Western Conference with only the Chicago Blackhawks in their way of top seed (same amount of points, but Chicago has two more wins). Not to mention they have about half of Team Canada's gold-medal winning roster in their ranks. The Canadiens, in addition to their usual western roadtrip habits, have not been able to win at the hp pavilion this decade (may I just take this opportunity to point out that a 21 year old Marco Sturm was in that November 23rd, 1999 game).

I had to.

However, both teams are 5-4-1 in their last ten games and there are no wild cards at play since neither team made changes (aside from Matt D'Agostini's departure, good luck, Dags) at yesterday's trade deadline. If there was a time for our beloved Tricolore to pull out a surprise win, tonight's matchup would be it.

The two teams last met a year ago, and Jaroslav Halak stood on his head as the Canadiens took the Bell Centre meeting 3-2. No word on a starting goaltender as of yet, but indicators might point to Carey Price making a second straight appearance as he wasn't too shabby in the 4-1 win against Boston on Tuesday and Halak is still recovering from his Olympics.

Bigger leads are better against the Sharks, as they nearly pulled out a win (or at least a point) against New Jersey after being down 4-0, a.k.a. defensive hockey won't cut it here tonight.

Some Jaws-related pun that I can't think of at the moment

• Ottawa native Dan Boyle is a sneaky little playmaking defenseman, responsible for 12 points, mostly assists (but you know he can score), against the Canadiens over the course of his career.
• Russian backstop Evgeni Nabokov is looking to rebound from the last two weeks he spent in Vancouver. Sharks' coach Todd McLellan was recently quoted as saying the team's confidence in their goaltender hasn't faltered, and you can bet he'll be ready to prove them right.
• Devin Setoguchi manned the near-comeback against New Jersey with two goals.
• In the "predicting who will score for Team Canada" mission I inadvertently gave myself, Dany Heatley was always the one who kept me from being right 100% of the time (I had a ridiculous accuracy rate going for the round robin).
• Of course there's also Jumbo Joe Thornton, but don't forget little Joe Pavelski either.
• At this rate, there should probably be a bullet point for the entire team.

Gauthier wastes no time

This guy's CH has moved to the front of his jersey.

I'm not sure how I feel about these things, but some of today's news:

• Rumours of trades to come, mostly involving forwards because we've only got like three-quarters of a defenceman left. 
• Dominic Moore is the newest new guy on the block, and we got him in exchange for a draft pick which the Florida Panthers will use, then develop, then inevitably trade away so maybe we'll see that player wear the CH sometime. RE: Dominic Moore. Who's dis guy?
• Ben Maxwell is back in Hamilton, and he may or may not be happy to reunite with his other two-first-named teammates.
• PK Subban has been called up. Sorry, let me rephrase that: Talented, bubbly, potential-laden Habs prospect who constantly acts like wearing this jersey is winning the lottery PK Subban has been called up. There's what, like 20 games left in the season? That's not enough time to become Rookie of the Year! (A title which I have held for a while, waiting for PK to fully develop, turn into the greatest thing ever, play a full season, amaze the universe and win the Calder.)

Pierre Gauthier's definitely got that new guy gung-ho attitude, that's for sure.

Also, Dave Stubbs was right: after getting a Mike Green puck to the back of the head, bleeding enough to make Quentin Tarantino smile, and leaving the game, Josh Gorges is the Black Knight. I know they said it wasn't a serious laceration, but he slept on it and practiced the next morning. That's hardcore.

4 days left to comment! We're at the halfway point, people, and it's not like there's nothing to talk about so get typing!

Plus/Minus: That's what Halak about you

It's a long Plus/Minus this week, boys and girls, but you'll want to read it to the end. What HASN'T happened since the last Plus/Minus? It was a busy enough week before Gainey stepped down, almost exactly 11 months after he fired Guy Carbonneau, but since we don't know what the aftermath of a GM change 60 games into the season will be, I'm not sure if I should plus or minus it.
Oh also, the Habs played a bunch of games and they were all really good and we won most of them.

Plus

+ I'd like to thank the Boston DJ for playing "That's What I Like About You" during OT. Is he/she aware of the Montreal hobby that is Halak puns? I didn't even have to think of a title this week!
+ Brian Gionta for his Giontastic finish to a great game against the Bruins, and his performance against the Penguins.
+ Usually when the Hamilton Bulldogs win a game, it's against like Manitoba or Binghamton... not the Pittsburgh Penguins. Our callups were fantastic on Saturday, even if two of them are now
+ Sergei Kostitsyn? You earned this plus. Good on you.
+ Ryan O'Byrne, who should have been in B.C. with his family, played some great hockey during a week when his mind was clearly elsewhere. Speaking of Ryan, remember how earlier I said you'd want to read this post the whole way through? Please do.
+ I don't usually give pluses to enemies, but Shawn Thornton? Clearly born to be a Bruin. You know you're playing for the right team when your mustache matches your uniform.
Superbowl + Carrie Underwood made it to the Super Bowl before Tony Romo! (joke courtesy of my big brother, who I'm pretty sure hates Tony Romo like I hate puckbunnies)

Minus

- Czechtacular would kill me if I didn't get mad at the Calgary Flames organization for trading Brandon Prust. I mean, sure they gave Christopher Higgins a new home and a damn haircut, and they finally unloaded that eyebrowless anchor (and horrible trade) most people call Olli Jokinen, but it's ridiculous that the Flames have traded him twice. What's with the Ross and Rachel treatment? The worst part of this is that I'm pretty sure this trade is permanent. He's young, energetic, and can throw a punch. I hate to say it, but the Rangers are going to love having him.
- Poor Patrice Cormier. I guess kids have to learn from his example and start listening to their parents: do your homework, eat your veggies, and don't hit the other kids, otherwise you'll get traded to the Thrashers with a busload of other guys.
- To Réjean Tremblay of La Presse for turning on Mike Cammalleri almost as quickly after his injury as the whole Internet turned on Taylor Swift after the Grammys. Too bad Tremblay had little more to offer than two paragraphs.
- Serious lack of people dressed up as Green Man at the Canucks game. What gives, people?
- You know how Facebook tries to specifically target you in sidebar ads?

EPIC FAIL.

- How Jeff Carter skated away from this without a penalty is beyond me.
Superbowl - The post-Superbowl timeslot used to be a big deal for networks. Once a show knew that it would be on after the Superbowl, its writers would pull out all the stops to write an episode worthy of North America's biggest audience. CBS aired a bunch of promos for their CSI's and NCIS's during the big game, but opted to premiere "Undercover Boss" instead of giving the honur to one of their scripted shows. Yes, "Undercover Boss." Good job, CBS.


This is the last week that the Canadiens will play, before we focus on the Canadians. So we've got about seven more days of Habs coverage, which sounds like just the right amount of time for a good-girl initiative.
As I mentioned before, Ryan O'Byrne had a very good week despite mourning his mother on the opposite side of the country. How about, as fans, we give something back? For every comment you all leave us on our posts, starting with this one and ending with the next Plus/Minus, I'll donate $2 to the Canadian Cancer Society. Two dollars doesn't sound like a lot, but if you guys have lots to say, it'll add up.

Rookie gets in the game

Okay, usually I try to stay away from trade rumours, mostly because it weirds me out that players get traded around like commodities (it's like GMs are kids with hockey cards, saying "Oh, I really want your Drew Doughty! What do you want for it? I have a Rick Nash...")

Also because this.

But a couple of them have piqued my interest over the last couple of days. (Especially since Dion Phaneuf was apparently up for grabs.)

First, there are reports that Ilya Kovalchuk may not be chained down in Atlanta like we thought he was. I don't know what you'd have to trade for a player like him, but I'd be interested to see where he ends up. (By which I mean, um, here. So that the Habs don't have to play against him.)

Also, apparently the Penguins miss Hal Gill and want him back. Really? I know there are some Habs fans who'd give him away for a bag of chips, but if a team like Pittsburgh really wants something, what are they willing to give up? Play hardball, Bob. Keep at it until you get us Dan Bylsma.

Does anyone think there'll be any more major transactions, or is Gainey pretty much done his shopping for the year?

Plus/Minus: A new century

There was no Gordie Howe or Viggo Mortensen this week. There wasn't even a hat trick this week, although AK46 came close enough last night. What was there to talk about, then? Plenty, with four games in six days and more of the same this week. Oh, and a family Christmas party at the Bell Centre!


PLUS

+ Somehow, we haven't yet mentioned how great Max Pacioretty has been in the last few games. I know, we're idiots for it. Please accept this Plus as our apology.
+ 3 The Kostitsyn brothers and Marc-André Bergeron have also been playing very well on their respective lines.
+ This week's injuries didn't seem to be as serious as we feared they'd be.
+ I guess heartburn is cool now, because I learned this week that Ken Dryden used to have terrible indigestion. I wonder if I can get the recipe for Dryden's magic green goo.
+ PJ Stock gently ribbed his co-panelists on L'Antichambre this week, and it was probably the best thing RDS has given me in a very long time.
+ We're assuming that Benoit Pouliot will be ready for the CH pretty soon.
+ Andrei Markov skated for almost an hour a few days ago. Some people are expecting him to come back as soon as this week, and as much as I miss him, I don't care when he comes back, as long as he's 100% ready to go. The mere thought of Andrei Markov getting better is enough for me.
+ More love for Cammy and Pleks: it was another very good week for team points leaders Tomas Plekanec and Mike Cammalleri, who we want to see on Team Canada.


MINUS

- Dave Stubbs, Dane Cook fan? Say it ain't so.
- The return of Carey Price's Mask of the Red Death. I don't hate it, but I liked the Centennial one. And the Remembrance Day one. And maybe the horsie one.
- Not so good with the Hamilton callups this week, eh, Bob?
- Didn't we already give this a minus? Alain Crete wore his fug brown-ish suit jacket again on Saturday. Do we need to find the stylists at RDS and personally ask them to stop assaulting our eyes?
- I know that there's no easy solution to our two-goalie situation, but if Halak gets traded, I'll miss him (to say the least). My views on the potential trade aside, I think that whoever leaked this story is a moron. Things didn't go so well last season after everyone heard that a few players were apparently being shopped around as part of trade packages. Morale dropped and fans' gums started flapping. Jaro deserves better.
- Chris Nilan admits he's had substance abuse problems but, like the fighter he's always been, is taking them on and has been sober for a few months now. We wish him all the best.


And outside of hockey... (Musical TV Edition!)
+ A delightful 13th episode of Fox's Glee, with enough great songs to tide me over until the show comes back in April.
- Flight of the Conchords announced that their HBO series will not have a third season and, thus, is over. At least the band will live on in real life.

Being traded sucks, but there's no snow in Cali

As czechtacular already mentioned, we at Hab It Her Way are saddened by the Kyle Chipchura trade because he didn't really get a fair shake and he was a great guy to his fans (and we care about our players beyond just what they do on the ice). Oh, and while this guy that we'll draft in the fourth round a year and a half from now might turn out to be great, we still have no idea what this draft pick will bring, and it sucks to be traded for the idea of a guy (maybe even more than it sucks to be pushed around like a commodity instead of a person). Plus, even though his performance this season wasn't always the best that we knew he was capable of, we were hoping to maybe read a few more goodbyes online today, but alas, Kyle Chipchura gets no four-hour requiem on RDS.

Best of luck to you, Chippy. Happy trails, Jay Leach. You're headed for sunnier skies.

Say hi to Saku Koivu and Joe Thornton, have a fish taco or two, and play your best, like Jason Schwartzman in that video.