End of the MOnth

Movember has come to a close, and we've got another year of fundraising, talking, and mustache-growing behind us. I'm a little sad to see it go, so I'm using hockey pictures as a coping mechanism. (Most of these pictures were yoinked from the official Canadiens site, because they have the best mustache photographers around.)

Thank you, Daniel Briere, for expressing just how I feel now that Movember is over.

Thank you, Brendan Gallagher, for growing a mustache that makes you look like a cartoon French guy. I'll have your striped shirt, beret, accordion, and baguette ready for next Movember. (For full effect, watch the gifs below on a loop while listening to, I don't know, Flight of the Conchords' "Foux du Fafa" or the French chef's song from The Little Mermaid.)

Thank you, Alexei Emelin, for looking a little bit like Zorro, and reminding us all to be heroes this month.

Thank you, David Desharnais, for looking like a tough guy with that mustache. Hockey fights cancer, indeed.

Thank you, Francis Bouillon, for growing a mustache again, because it still kind of makes you look like you could be in a mariachi band. You also made me feel better about escaping to Mexico for a week this Movember, mostly because I learned the Spanish word for mustache. 

Thank you, Max Pacioretty, for representing what most guys who grew mustaches strived to look like: the perfect middle ground between "stepped out of a vintage photograph" and "still looks good."

Thank you, George Parros, for being in good enough shape to return to the game by Movember. And for only needing about three days to grow a full mustache. And, most of all, for setting such a great example for all Mo Bros and Mo Team Captains.

And, most importantly of all: Thank you to everyone who supported me again this year. Every retweet, every donation, every minute spent and every encouraging word put a smile on my face. You were such a huge help to me, even though I wasn't around for the entire month. I didn't even tell everyone what my fundraising goal was ($400) but you helped me surpass it. At times I felt like my enthusiasm probably started grating on you, but you were there for me nonetheless, and this is a great cause, so it means a lot. I tried to change things up this year and be creative and I was met with so much positivity. It made me feel really good about what I was doing.  

Vacations and fundraising

There are tons of things I should be doing. But I'm writing instead.

I really should be packing for my upcoming vacation, and maybe writing about how the Habs tend to lose when I'm out of town. (I think that this season may be a reversal of fortune, because they've lost every game I've seen at the Bell Centre. Sigh.)

Instead, I find myself feeling kind of guilty that I'm going on vacation now. Right smack in the middle of Movember, when I should be at work, encouraging my Mo Bros to raise more money and telling them that their mustaches are growing in nicely. I braved the first few days of awkward co-worker Sidney Crosby mustaches, and now I'm going to miss a week of Movember glory! It also means that I can't constantly bug my friends, family, and followers for donations, and spout random bits of health trivia at them whenever I want. But hey, if you want to make a donation while I'm on vacation*, just click on the mustache below:

Movember is as important to me as ever - it has to be, as I become more and more aware of how important it is for the men in my family to be in good health. However, I've been hit with that weird sort of guilt where I want to help everyone all the time, even though I know that I can't. Still, the damage done by Typhoon Haiyan in Asia is too devastating to ignore. So I'm doing my part. I've set up a fundraising effort in association with All Habs, and I'm hoping that friends and hockey fans alike will make a donation if they haven't already. To be perfectly honest, if you don't have that much to donate but you'd like to help one of these causes, I think I prefer that you donate to the typhoon relief effort. Cancer and mental illness are scary, but those who have lost their homes and families need help as soon as possible.

No professional association with this charity.
I chose it after doing some research and thought they were already doing good work
in areas affected by the typhoon.

If you're able to help out financially, that's great. If you can't, please spare some good thoughts or say a prayer for everyone whose lives have been affected by illness or natural disasters. I might be away from my computer, but I'll be hoping that these causes get the help they need.

Okay and yes, I'll be hoping that the Canadiens go on an awesome winning streak. Mo Habs Mo!

Probably much, much fancier than my accommodations.

*hey, that rhymed!

You Can Mo Your Own Way

(Sorry about the pun. But I had to.)

So, it's the most wonderful time of the year, if you love mustaches. I happen to love Movember, because mustaches entertain me, and because I like seeing people show their dedication to a good cause.

Which is why it disappointed me that so many of the men I work with didn't want to join our office Movember team. (Luckily, all of the guys in my department stepped up. Every other department has a lot to answer for - looking at you, Tech Ops!)

Here are the top two excuses I heard from mustache dodgers:

"I can't/don't want to grow a mustache." I'd venture that three-quarters of guys who say they can't grow a mustache haven't even given it a good try. They're just lazy, or too vain to run the risk of actually having a crappy Sidney Crosby mustache. Hey, guys? It's November. You're growing a mustache. Movember has been popular (especially in Canada) for a few years now. By this point, most people will know why those errant hairs are on your face. It's not like you'll be the only guy who looks creepy for no reason. Quit being such a whiner.
As for the guys who don't want to grow a mustache? See above. People will know that you're growing a mustache for a good cause. They won't just think that you're Chandler Bing, trying to be Tom Selleck.

Movember supports really important initiatives, namely men's health awareness, prostate cancer, and mental health. So, not wanting to spend four little weeks growing a mustache for a really good cause? That's pretty weak. My co-worker Mike doesn't grow a mustache for 11 months out of the year, but has grown one every Movember for as long as I've known him. His first child was born in November two years ago, and he couldn't be prouder of the photograph where he's rocking his Movember mustache while holding his newborn daughter. Carey Price doesn't like growing a mustache (despite the fact that a well-groomed 'stache makes him look like an old-timey movie star), but he does it in November. He did it last year and the year before with his teammates, which was great publicity for the cause, and he's doing it again this year, even though he's not on TV every three days and constantly talking to the press. He believes in the cause more than he hates having hair on his upper lip. Because he is a man. (So, if you're wondering why ladies love Carey more than they love you, there's your explanation.)

"My significant other doesn't want me to grow a mustache." I'm going to break this excuse down into two scenarios: Either you're lying, or your lady (or man, although in my experience the complaints have come from ladies) is awful.
If you're lying: Well, at least you probably will never be diagnosed with testicular cancer, because clearly you need to grow a pair. You're even worse than the whiny guys who tell me they don't want to grow mustaches, because you can't even take responsibility for your own cowardice. Don't blame the lady in your life for something you don't want to do.

If you're a significant other who doesn't want her man to participate: Seriously? You don't want the man in your life to participate in a fundraiser for men's health? Do you hate him? Do you not want him to participate in something that could potentially save lives? Maybe I don't understand your dislike of mustaches because I can't relate to it. Almost all of the men on my dad's side of the family have rocked 'staches. Seriously. One of my uncles had such an awesome handlebar mustache - it curled on the ends and everything - that people used to stop him on the street to compliment him on it. Maybe that's why I love mustaches: because I love my family. So, maybe you should do the same. Put the man before the mustache. If the man in your life thought about spending a month growing a mo and raising money for charity, you should maybe consider putting aside your hatred of mustaches. I'm not usually one to give unsolicited relationship advice, but this seems like something you should compromise on. It's for men's health. So many people, male and female, have raised money to cure women's cancers. Men wear ribbons and take part in 5k runs and whatnot out of love for their wives, mothers, sisters, or friends. Why wouldn't you want your man to do Movember? Think about the men in your life that you care about - your dad, your godfather, your cousins, the bartender who remembers what you like to drink, your favourite NHL player, or the guy who buys Timbits for everyone at work - and realize that you should support this cause for their sake.

If for some reason you're not growing a mustache, or telling the man in your life that he shouldn't, I hope to God that you have a legitimate reason for it. I also hope you'll consider supporting the cause by making a donation, helping out at a fundraiser or encouraging people you care about to see a doctor regularly and make healthy choices.

Otherwise, I guess you like cancer more than you like mustaches.

The Things We Do For Max Pacioretty

Last week I spent so much time at work that all I wanted to do was spend all of my non-office hours on my couch.

Until, of course, I got a text message on Thursday from a friend asking if I was interested in volunteering at the Max Pacioretty Foundation charity poker tournament on Friday. Was I interested? She should have known the answer to that question already. I was so interested that over the next 30 hours, instead of trying to relax, sleep, and have a normal day at work, I...

Ransacked my closet and makeup case to follow the one instruction I was given: "Dress to impress." Prepared a bag for makeup and a garment bag for my "to impress" dress. Did not sleep, because I was too excited.

Became a poster child for office efficiency. Typed faster than I have ever typed before. Jumped up and down in my desk chair. Ran out of the office at 4:50-something, apologizing profusely, never looking back.

Jumped into my "to impress" dress, accessorized, lint-rolled, and make-upped as quickly as I possibly could, all the time swearing like an angry Ryan White.

Said hi to Tony Marinaro and found out that he is both the driving force behind this fundraiser and a huge celebrity in Lasalle.

Stopped breathing for a second when I realized that the two guys who walked in were Max Pacioretty and Raphael Diaz. They said hi in our general direction before being ushered off to someplace.

Welcomed a few more guests (some VIPs, some regular humans like myself.) Czechtacular stamped Chris Nilan's hand.

Some of the sports memorabilia at the silent auction.
Yes, that autographed replica Stanley Cup comes with its own NHL tablecloth.

Was asked to sell tickets for a 50/50 raffle. Somehow just naturally approached severyone from Saskatchewan transplants to mustachioed local sportscasters and convinced them to spend $10 on a raffle ticket, and somehow all of those 10s added up to $1300.

Sat down and listened to Annakin Slayd perform "MTL Stand Up" - in the presence of Max Pacioretty. You know that fuzzy feeling you get when you listen to it? It was multiplied tenfold, and I couldn't even see the stage.

Watched as a soccer team of 9 and 10 year olds (part of the night's proceeds went to fund their trip to a soccer clinic), got called into the reception hall one by one like a team walking into a championship game.

Listened to Max Pacioretty accept a warm welcome and make a speech. I'm not sure if he prepared it ahead of time because it sounded like he winged it, like he was speaking from the heart. It sounded like he appreciates us more than we love him.

Remembered that the night Pacioretty was hit by Chara, I went to the TSN 990 studios and Tony Marinaro stayed in-studio with us to help take calls and try to get news about Max's progress. Now here I was, almost a year later, in the same room as both of them. It was unreal.

Went to the gaming floor to help with buy-ins. I know nothing about poker, but I put on a lime-green pinnie that looked like it was dyed by the Joker himself, filled a hand with chips, and pretended I knew how to be a poker wench.

Planted myself next to Czechtacular when she found the best spot for poker-wenching whilst surreptitiously watching Chris Nilan's and Max Pacioretty's tables. Marveled at every facial expression Patches and Diaz made. I have no poker face.

Gasped when my friend Robyn sold chips to Patches himself.

Watched Chris Nilan win and rake in a load of chips, just like in the movies.

Those piles of chips? Property of Knuckles Nilan.

Offered Czechtacular $20 to walk up to Patches and hug him. She didn't.

Compensated for my shyness around Patches and Diaz by speaking to Randy Tieman and his mustache. (By the way, I have a great Randy Tieman story for another day.)

Called it a night after buy-ins ended and went home, thinking that if there were a few more Max Paciorettys in this world, it would be a better place.

Plus/Minus: The most wonderful whine of the year

Hockey was kind of frustrating, and there was a holiday to celebrate, so this Plus/Minus is a little erratic. Then again, what isn't erratic about Habs Nation these days?

NICE

+ Jerome Simpson's flip (and perfect landing) is the coolest thing I've seen since... last week, I guess, when Al Montoya jumped over Petteri Nokelainen.
+ San Francisco 49er Braylon Edwards gave $10, 000 scholarships to 79 college students. That's about equal to the salary that he made this season. Amazing.
+ Basketball is back!
+ Scratching P.K. Subban, even though the team lost to Winnipeg, was a good call. The poor guy needed his rest, and will probably benefit from the perspective he got by watching the game instead of being on the ice for half of it.

+ I've been thinking for a while about how sports fans tend to let their love for a team supercede other things, and if being one of those people makes you a good fan. So Dave Stubbs tweeting "Life is what matters, Habs and hockey are just a game" really hit home with me. And the girl who attended this week's Green Bay Packers game holding a "My Cheating Ex-Boyfriend Is Watching From Couch Instead" sign just made me laugh.
+ Christmas is about so much more than children and toys, but if you'll allow me a brief "kids and toys" moment: The little girl in this video is so adorable, and so right. I may have liked pink princess toys when I was a kid, but I still know exactly how she feels.



NAUGHTY (and not in a cheeky way)

On Wednesdays we wear pink

- Le Journal de Montréal continues to be pulpy, prejudiced, and just downright stupid when it comes to talking about hockey these days. Oh, crap, did I just write that in English? Désolée, J de M.
- Why on earth would one of the NHL's most lucrative franchises need to start selling ad space on its practice jerseys?
- ESPN's In Memoriam montage didn't include any of the hockey players that passed away this year? The only consolation is that hockey fans mourned them, and will continue to remember them.
- I know that fans are upset with the Canadiens, but there should be a limit to just how angry we (as fans) get with our own players and team. I wish there was a way for everyone to be angry without being ridiculous.

- First of two 24/7-related Minuses: Peter Laviolette was really frickin' upset with a game official when the Flyers were in Montreal last week. That happens all the time - but accusing him of being biased toward the Canadiens, and stupidly calling it "typical Montreal"? Can someone explain that to me? Laviolette knows that every referee makes bad calls, and that every team thinks that the refs are biased against them? And that, as far as I know, the referees work for the league, not the city they're working in that night?
- Second 24/7-related Minus: Why doesn't Jaromir Jagr want to eat lunch with Ilya Bryzgalov? Are we in high school again?

- Every player in the NBA looks like he forgot to shave his lockout beard. Why are all these lockout beards the same weird shape? Am I behind on the latest facial hair trends? Don't answer that.

Here's hoping that this year's World Juniors are as exciting as ever, and that Habs fans are even more rested than the players after Christmas break.

Plus/Minus: no self-portraits here

Judging by what's been popular on the Internet this week... My male readers (if I have any) are probably upset that I'm fully clothed as I write this, and that I wear my jerseys as the hockey gods intended, not hacked beyond recognition into a tiny censor bar of a dress. Um, sorry? Can I make a couple puns to make up for it?

PLUS

+ Erik Cole flew Louis Leblanc's parents to Anaheim so that they could attend their son's first NHL game. If that isn't a Plus, I don't know what is.
+ Josh Gorges didn't shave his mustache as soon as the clock struck midnight and the month of December started. He must have known that Movember is my favourite time of year.
+ Carey Price saved his team's ass against the LA Kings AND hammed it up in a hysterical All Star Game campaign video.
+ Now-former Carolina Hurricanes coach Paul Maurice left a note for Kirk Muller, wishing him the best of luck and complimenting the team. It takes a lot of class to do something like that.
+ Saku Koivu still has nothing but great things to say about his days as a Hab. I feel the same way.
+ Ryan Jones hat trick, or something. I guess it's because of the hair.

MINUS

It can't be because of the picture, why, no!

- Are we done talking about Paulina Gretzky? Apparently, if your dad is the greatest hockey player of all time, you can be a newsmaker just by tweeting a few cleave shots. (Seriously, a newsmaker.) It's almost like men are surprised that she's hot, because they didn't know that professional athletes always marry pretty girls, and thus their children have a good chance of being attractive. Also, is this really what happens every time some yellow-haired girl posts pictures of herself online because she's desperate for attention? ...On second thought, don't answer that.

- Los Angeles Kings: I love you, but get your asses off of my goalie.
- A three-game suspension for Max Pacioretty's hit on Kris Letang is a little harsh. I doubt every guy who hits another player in the same way is going to be suspended for three games.
- Everyone who gets mad at Andrei Markov for not being ready to come back yet, or who calls him a waste of money. Where's your loyalty?

We are now faced with our first mustache-less week. I'm not sure exactly how this is going to go. But so far, it looks like our Carey is just as awesome without his 'stache as he was with it.

A goodbye to the NHL's Movember mustaches

I should probably start this blog post by admitting that mustaches make me laugh. There, I said it. Movember, the initiative for men to grow mustaches and collect pledges for prostate cancer research, obviously gave me a few giggles as I watched my hockey.

Now, unfortunately, December has come and the mustaches are gone, and we're back to looking at everyone's regular clean-shaven faces. In some cases, that's a good thing... isn't it?

Carey Price's mustache was pretty classic in style. Lots of guys who did Movember decided to go a little crazy and grew long Hulk Hogan mustaches instead of going legit with a Tom Selleck or a Burt Reynolds or an Inigo Montoya. There's a reason why they're classics, boys. Carey's expression in the picture above sums up how I feel about it: confused. I can't decide if I like it or not. Some days I think it looks ridiculous. Other times, like when my mom said it made him look like Clark Gable, I kinda dug it. Also, if you're superstitious, the sheer quality of Carey's goaltending during Movember kind of speaks for itself.
Should the mustache make a comeback? I was a little disappointed to see it go, but mostly for entertainment purposes. Carey has said it'll be back next Movember, and I'm okay with that. He can post shutouts whether he's got a mustache or not.

Josh Gorges' mustache made its first appearance two seasons ago, and I think I was one of the only people who liked it back then. I had missed a couple of games and was warned about it. It wasn't as scary as everyone made it sound. My theory for this spontaneous mustache growth was that Josh had seen Watchmen a few weeks earlier, looked at The Comedian's mustache and thought, "I can pull off one of those." I thought it didn't look so bad, and I liked it even more when Canadiens.com ran an article on it, wherein star writer Manny Almela used a whole bunch of synonyms for "mustache." (My favourite? "Soup strainer.") This time around, the 'stache looked alright, but Josh's decision to shave his head to a Pierre McGuire kind of smoothness was misguided.
Should it come back? Sure, why not, as long as it's not paired with bowling ball head.

Hal Gill's mustache should be in textbooks. THIS is how you grow a long mustache, gentlemen. Step 1: Be really, really tall. Step 2: Grow the 'stache. At the beginning of the month my friend Cathie saw the beginnings of a horseshoe mustache (I looked that up, we thought it was a Fu Manchu) and said it would suit him, and I disagreed with her completely. But I should've trusted Cathie, as she's right more often than I am. Gill is pulling off this 'stache. I'm almost sad to see it go.
Should it come back? I wouldn't mind if it did. The unfortunate departure of Paul Mara left the Habs with a hole to fill in the "awesome facial hair" department.

Dustin Boyd's mustache might be the worst thing I've seen all year. (Including those five minutes I saw of $#!^ My Dad Says.) Maybe Boyd did it just to prove he can grow one, since it looks like it took a while to grow in. I wouldn't know for sure, since I've barely seen Boyd all month. But I can barely look at it.
Should it come back? NO. Kill it! Kill it! Oh, the humanity! ...Is it safe to look now?
(This picture, by the way, came courtesy of our friend Amanda, who met Boyd and his mustache at the Habs' blood drive on Monday but didn't run away screaming.)

David Arsenault's mustache, which gave him the temporary privilege of not looking like one of Santa's elves for once. It almost made him look like an old-school hockey sportscaster... if they had NHL hockey in Mexico. It might have been the furriest 'stache I saw during all of Movember. It looked like he stole the eyebrow from that unibrowed baby on The Simpsons and stuck it to his upper lip. Laughter is good for the soul, and David Arsenault made me laugh everytime I watched Hockey 360 before a Habs game. See? Movember is good for women's health too!
Should it come back? ...My common sense tells me no. My sense of humour tells me yes.

To take things out of Montreal for a second... I saw this hilarious photo of some Anaheim Ducks players and their mustaches, and thought I'd spotlight a couple of former Habs. I'm only linking to the photo because Ryan Getzlaf's mustache sends me into uncontrollable fits of laughter.

Kyle Chipchura's mustache is just funny. No other way to describe it. Slightly unflattering, but it doesn't hurt your eyes as much as the Boyd-stache. However, unlike every other mustache in this post, it doesn't make him look older. I'm not sure why, and I find this quite confusing, because you wouldn't think that a Magnum PI mustache would be the thing to make Chipchura actually look like he's in his 20's.

Should it come back? No. It may be the only thing I've seen that doesn't make Chippy look like he should be referred to as "sir", but he shouldn't have a mustache.

Saku Koivu's mustache is great, actually. I can't remember seeing Saku with a mustache like this (he usually had a bit of a beard going on) and I'm actually quite surprised by how good it looks on him. Look at that! It's the kind of mustache you'd see in old pictures of your relatives and NOT burst out laughing at. You'd see that mustache on that handsome face and know why your aunt married your uncle. The only weird thing about all this is that I still can't believe Saku reached the age where he can pull off a mustache like this. What are the odds that he'll want to play forever like Mark Recchi, and sport this mustache for a while?
Should it come back? Yes. You know what else should come back? Saku. To Montreal. No offense, current Montreal Canadiens roster, it's just that Saku's like a really old friend and I haven't seen him in a while.

Until I saw the Koivu mustache I was just about ready to name this my favourite NHL 'stache of Movember:

Theo Peckham's mustache entertained me to no end. I don't even know how I watched enough Oilers games to help me come to this decision, but the young D-man can grow a mustache. It suits him, he trimmed it or whatever it is that men do to maintain mustaches, and he didn't go too crazy (which would have been a bad idea for someone who's on TV often). Dustin Boyd is probably jealous that a guy younger than him can grow a better mustache.
Should it come back? If the Oilers keep up this recent hot streak and make the playoffs, Peckham should grow this instead of a beard.


Movember was fun while it lasted. Thanks for the laughs, gentlemen, and congratulations on all the money you raised. Final figures aren't available yet but with 120,000 Movember participants in Canada alone, I'm guessing that it was a pretty good month. My cousin Joe raised over $500 with his mustache!
It's really a shame that my idea - a winter fundraiser for women's cancers called Leguary - probably wouldn't be as much fun to look at.

Plus/Minus: Cool as ice

Somehow this Plus/Minus is longer than the two games the Canadiens played this week. And considering how long that Devils game felt, that's saying something. I took a break from it to watch The Office and I doubt I missed a single thing.

PLUS

+ Andrei Kostitsyn: holy crap. I wish Statistics Canada could give us stats on how many people got rid of their #46 shirts before this season and now regret it.
+ I almost want to give Carey Price two pluses: One for playing so well, even though one of this week's shutouts didn't belong to him, and the other for giving me the kind of happiness that only comes from giving Carey Price a plus every week.
+ Steve Bégin has a job!! Proud of him.
+ Did you guys see Marc Denis on TSN? He was much more focused and articulate than I've ever seen him on French TV. He gets a plus for keeping it together in a language that isn't his first, on a network that has slightly higher standards than RDS.
+ Building another rink for kids to skate on. Canadiens > municipal government.
+ Elsewhere in the league: hat tricks! Daniel Alfredsson (scoring his 1000th NHL point), Brad Richardson led the LA Kings to a win (matching the #GoKings' win in the Twitter hashtag battle for charity) and John Tavares and Lee Stempniak scored their first NHL hat tricks. (It's OK, Stemps isn't a Leaf anymore.)

GONE

+ If you're a Flyers fan, savour this moment for all it's worth. I may never give a Plus to a Flyer ever again. But Scott Hartnell has truly earned this Plus for donating his hair to Locks of Love. There's a sick little kid somewhere who's going to love his or her new wig, no matter whose hair it contains. And anyone who's cut their long hair really short knows that you notice when it's gone.

MINUS

- We had to wait 5 (FIVE!) days between Canadiens games.
- And then not a single goal against the Devils.
- Did I mention that I didn't see last Saturday's game, so I actually went six days between games?
- Now that Dave Morissette, giant teddy bear and BFF of PJ Stock, has left RDS, all the network has going for it is, um, Pierre Houde. And ok, Guy Carbonneau too. What are the odds that they'll hire someone else I like, or fire pretty much anyone not mentioned here?

Is there anyone left in this picture worth watching?

- Speaking of RDS: Alain Crete. The jacket. Again.- Does Mike Boone think that the Four Habs Fans are holding auditions for a #5? In the last week alone, he ripped off their "capitalize the CH wherever possible" thing, imitated the style of their Morning Skate posts, and talked about hoochies ice girls. It's not funny when Boone does it. Do what you're paid to do, guy.
- You know what? It's not even worth writing about all this "Rick Rypien attacks a fan" business. If you didn't already know that you should accept the consequences of your actions, now you do. The "fan" got a little shaken up (literally) after getting out of his seat to shout at an already angry hockey player. Rick Rypien let out his frustrations on someone other than an opponent. Whatever. And, by the way, it seems a little strange to me that the "victim" gave his statement to the NHL, then went crying to the press, and THEN went looking for legal representation after that. Then again, I am neither a lawyer nor a lawsuit-happy opportunist, so what do I know?
- Edmonton: good job getting cheerleaders. You know, because having three of the most talked-about rookies in the league isn't going to help you sell tickets. Taylor who? People go to hockey games for the skanks, right?

Not sure if this is a plus or minus
Did anyone else notice, in his pre-Senators game interview, Tom Pyatt's hair made him look a little bit like Vanilla Ice?

A truly golden Plus/Minus

The training camp rosters that entertained us this summer, the team announcements that kept us talking during the holidays, the pre-Olympic predictions... all is said and done and Canada's gold medals have been handed out, to both our hockey teams and a slew of other very hardworking, deserving athletes.

PLUS
+ an awesome Salt Lake City rematch for Canada and USA's hockey teams at the gold-medal games. And again, Canada came through. (Ironically, I watched from Montreal when they won gold in Salt Lake, and I'm in the States this week to see them win in Vancouver.) I had my doubts about our men's team, but clearly I had nothing to worry about because they took care of business. And the rest of the world can say what they want about our women's team, but they're 3 for 3. I'm proud of our golden girls. I think everyone knows whose game this is.
+ Speaking of golden girls, how about our Wednesday medals in bobsleigh and speed skating? One day, four medals, nine amazing women. I couldn't be happier for Clara Hughes.
+ To setting a new gold-medal record for the Olympic Winter Games.
+ To all of the fantastic athletes who represented Canada (and the other participating countries) and gave all they could for their countries.
+ To Alexandre Bilodeau and Jenn Heil who followed the example of Clara Hughes in previous years and made significant donations to charity: $25,000 each! That's more than the grant that they received with their medals.
+ Now I'm very, very glad that CTV acquired the rights to the Hockey Night In Canada theme. The closing ceremonies' hockey segment was so cute! (And yes, a little bit off-putting with the jazz hands.)


MINUS
- to the west coast NBC affiliates who cut off the end of the closing ceremonies to premiere new reality series The Marriage Ref. Seriously? I'd rather see a performance by Nickelback and their tacky airbrushed guitar. I guess Americans will get enough of the Olympics after their already-famous medallists show up on Jay Leno.
- to the speed skater who skated over a cone (presumably not by accident) and pulled a hissy fit when he found out he'd been disqualified.
- How can there be scandal surrounding women's hockey? Instead of whining about whoever they want or threatening to cancel the event because every gold medal game comes down to Canada-USA, why doesn't the IOC do something about it?
- ETA: One reason why I'm glad the Olympics are over (other than the President's Choice Blue Menu commercials) is because of something I don't really hear from NHL commentators but that I heard an awful lot during the last two weeks was said after a player missed a shot on goal: "he didn't pull the trigger on that one." I know it's called "shooting" the puck, but taking the terminology any further is a bit disturbing and honestly quite unnecessary.


This week, we go back to normal. All there is to anticipate is the impending trade deadline (GMs have wasted no time so far) and the playoffs (which is still a big thing, I'm aware, don't worry). Countrymen will again be separated and teammates will be reunited, and superfan Mr. Canada will have to put away his posters until late spring. As for the Olympics, well, you've got four years to learn Russian and two years until settling for swimming and track.

My name is Rookie, and I'm a Canadian.

Thanks for your comments!

Our Comments = Donations week has come to an end. I'm declaring the charity drive officially closed.

A big thank you goes out to those of you who commented... I was ready to donate even more money. If there's any excuse to go broke, it's to help people who need it. It's not like we can do much to support Ryan O'Byrne's family during this difficult time, but I wanted to make a small gesture and see how many people would help out (after all, our Habs do an awful lot for this city on the ice three nights a week). We even tried to write just a little bit more often to give you all more content to talk about, and obviously, having an eventful week was quite helpful.

You'll hear more about my actual donation soon. Thanks again!

And happy Mardi Gras now that it's officially Tuesday. Last year on Mardi Gras, I was at the Bell Centre, stuffing my face with soon-to-be-forbidden candy while watching Jaroslav Halak post a shutout against homeboy Roberto Luongo's Vancouver Canucks. It was a great night and I'm looking forward to eating something unhealthy and watching some hockey again. You should too! Go out, get your fill of delicious meat and beer and Canada-themed donuts while our Canadian men's hockey team tries to prove they're just as good as the ladies. Go Canada Go!

Andrei Markov and Yannick Weber will also see some action with their national teams.

Now, it's time for the Olympics. (And a Top 5.)

The Olympic break couldn't have come at a better time. I need some time off from the NHL, because two Flyers games in a row really took a lot out of me, and I'm happy that the Olympics aren't going to be the same as the last two games: there'll be sportsmanship and optimism and probably a bit less douchebaggery, as long as certain hockey players can control themselves.

Of course, only a percentage of the NHL is going to the Olympics, which leaves a few guys at home. Thankfully, they didn't all shoot their mouths off about like some Mikael Samuelssons I know. What do to when you've got free time during the regular season?

Rookie's Top 5:

Top 5 Things Non-Olympians Can Do During The Olympics

Have one snack that you shouldn't generally eat between games. I know they don't want to put on any weight or slow down their digestive systems, but two weeks without games is enough time to digest and burn off a couple of Oreos or a Nutella sandwich.

Cross one or two things off the to-do list. I'm sure there are some wives of NHL players who've been waiting for this break to move a shelf or have a frame put up, and now that they're home I guess there's no getting around it. Just please be careful, guys. I don't want to turn on my computer and read something like "Defenceman injures hand while opening jar."

Street hockey! I'm sure it would do these guys some good to play the sport they love best the way they grew up playing it. No agents, no journalists, no trade rumours, no salary caps to worry about... only the occasional car. (I mean... "CAAAAAAAAAR!")

Watch some movies and get a leg up on the Olympians in your Oscar pool.

Visit your families! This might be a little easier for the North American guys, who don't have as much traveling and time difference to deal with, but whoever can't go to their families would probably welcome a visit from a loved one during a week where they're not off to a game every other day. It'll do the players some good.


In keeping with my attempt to make food recommendations, Tim Hortons has that badass Go Canada donut, which is probably one of the most Canadian fat-snacks you could ask for. Personally, I'll also be reaching for the box of Turtles I got for Valentine's Day while I watch our Canadian athletes skate and ski and do all kinds of active things.

Don't forget!! You've got until midnight tomorrow (February 15th) to post a comment, which will be another two dollars that HIHW will donate to the Canadian Cancer Society.

AND, in addition, my big sister (who knows an awful lot about how much help cancer patients and their families need) will match our total donation, dollar-for-dollar, so whatever you write actually equals a four dollar donation!

Plus/Minus: That's what Halak about you

It's a long Plus/Minus this week, boys and girls, but you'll want to read it to the end. What HASN'T happened since the last Plus/Minus? It was a busy enough week before Gainey stepped down, almost exactly 11 months after he fired Guy Carbonneau, but since we don't know what the aftermath of a GM change 60 games into the season will be, I'm not sure if I should plus or minus it.
Oh also, the Habs played a bunch of games and they were all really good and we won most of them.

Plus

+ I'd like to thank the Boston DJ for playing "That's What I Like About You" during OT. Is he/she aware of the Montreal hobby that is Halak puns? I didn't even have to think of a title this week!
+ Brian Gionta for his Giontastic finish to a great game against the Bruins, and his performance against the Penguins.
+ Usually when the Hamilton Bulldogs win a game, it's against like Manitoba or Binghamton... not the Pittsburgh Penguins. Our callups were fantastic on Saturday, even if two of them are now
+ Sergei Kostitsyn? You earned this plus. Good on you.
+ Ryan O'Byrne, who should have been in B.C. with his family, played some great hockey during a week when his mind was clearly elsewhere. Speaking of Ryan, remember how earlier I said you'd want to read this post the whole way through? Please do.
+ I don't usually give pluses to enemies, but Shawn Thornton? Clearly born to be a Bruin. You know you're playing for the right team when your mustache matches your uniform.
Superbowl + Carrie Underwood made it to the Super Bowl before Tony Romo! (joke courtesy of my big brother, who I'm pretty sure hates Tony Romo like I hate puckbunnies)

Minus

- Czechtacular would kill me if I didn't get mad at the Calgary Flames organization for trading Brandon Prust. I mean, sure they gave Christopher Higgins a new home and a damn haircut, and they finally unloaded that eyebrowless anchor (and horrible trade) most people call Olli Jokinen, but it's ridiculous that the Flames have traded him twice. What's with the Ross and Rachel treatment? The worst part of this is that I'm pretty sure this trade is permanent. He's young, energetic, and can throw a punch. I hate to say it, but the Rangers are going to love having him.
- Poor Patrice Cormier. I guess kids have to learn from his example and start listening to their parents: do your homework, eat your veggies, and don't hit the other kids, otherwise you'll get traded to the Thrashers with a busload of other guys.
- To Réjean Tremblay of La Presse for turning on Mike Cammalleri almost as quickly after his injury as the whole Internet turned on Taylor Swift after the Grammys. Too bad Tremblay had little more to offer than two paragraphs.
- Serious lack of people dressed up as Green Man at the Canucks game. What gives, people?
- You know how Facebook tries to specifically target you in sidebar ads?

EPIC FAIL.

- How Jeff Carter skated away from this without a penalty is beyond me.
Superbowl - The post-Superbowl timeslot used to be a big deal for networks. Once a show knew that it would be on after the Superbowl, its writers would pull out all the stops to write an episode worthy of North America's biggest audience. CBS aired a bunch of promos for their CSI's and NCIS's during the big game, but opted to premiere "Undercover Boss" instead of giving the honur to one of their scripted shows. Yes, "Undercover Boss." Good job, CBS.


This is the last week that the Canadiens will play, before we focus on the Canadians. So we've got about seven more days of Habs coverage, which sounds like just the right amount of time for a good-girl initiative.
As I mentioned before, Ryan O'Byrne had a very good week despite mourning his mother on the opposite side of the country. How about, as fans, we give something back? For every comment you all leave us on our posts, starting with this one and ending with the next Plus/Minus, I'll donate $2 to the Canadian Cancer Society. Two dollars doesn't sound like a lot, but if you guys have lots to say, it'll add up.

A Plus/Minus in a week that almost wasn't

This was almost a week without minuses. No, really, somehow I was so optimistic that this week I found myself minus any minuses. But thanks to you guys, I waited until the most depressing day of the year to post this.
This was also the week where Montreal took advantage of a few days off to take care of business: long-awaited hospital visits, well-deserved rest for both the players and the player haters (thanks again, Burrows-Auger scandal), and the grand opening of our very own Hall of Fame.

PLUS

+ 3: one to the NHL for its donation of $100,000 to Haitian relief efforts, one for the Canadiens' charity initiative this week, and one to the other NHL teams who are reaching out to Haitian quake victims.

+ the Habs made a bunch of little kids and their familiies happy this week by opening a new rink in Mtl-North and by visiting the childrens' hospitals.

+ 2 Georges Laraque. Scored. A goal. And the rest of the team also played very, very well against the Stars.

+ Dave Stubbs for asking fans for help in identifying a song (and getting help from another favourite of mine, the hilarious Manny Almela), for another great human-interest piece (this one about Glen Met and Trevor Daley growing up in the projects), and because last week I forgot to give him a plus for his sweet, sweet bowtie.

+ The Canadiens Hall of Fame, which I haven't visited yet but will soon. If anyone's been already, send pictures!!

+ Say what you will about his recent performance (lots of people have, but I'm nice), Max Pacioretty could teach a master class in drawing penalties for the opposite team. Thanks for the power plays, little Max!

MINUS

- I'm not starting another Ryan Miller-type feud or anything, but what is it about Mike Brodeur that makes him invincible at the Bell Centre?

- I'm giving myself a minus for jinxing last night's game, when the only thing I've ever wanted to give Sean Avery is a black eye.
- The only thing worse than losing two games in two days is hearing everyone bitch and moan about it. I'm really sick of hearing others complain these days, so you'll probably hear some whining on my part as well.

- And this hockey blog's biggest minus of the week goes to a guy who doesn't play hockey.

I would like to thank Jay Leno for proving that his nightly ten o'clock show isn't, as I had previously believed, the thing that killed television. No, instead he decided to kill TV by getting his old timeslot back and taking away our Conan O'Brien in the process. It's basically the TV equivalent of all this Carey vs. Jaro quibbling, only neither of them will come out on top. They've been replaced by some old, fat starter who could apparently stop a puck back in the nineties, but never takes a risk or plays with passion. But the GM likes him and the sponsors like him. Even though he SUCKS.
Yes, Hab It Her Way is with CoCo.

A bit of extra plus for the most depressing day of the year
To end things on a more positive note, today is a special day:
#21 turns 31 today, and wretched network NBC gave him a shoutout by putting former Superman Brandon Routh on tonight's Chuck. Have a Giontastic birthday!

On this day in 1958, before Martin Luther King Jr. day was declared a holiday, Willie O'Ree broke the colour barrier and became the first black man to play in an NHL game when he suited up for the Bruins right here in Montreal.
(Yes, I'm still sharing all the little bits of history that I come across.)

Two weeks' worth of + and -

It's been about twelve hours since the Habs' flight from Nashville landed, and they're probably resting as I type this since this morning's last-minute practice probably took out whatever was left from a presumably weary team. Brian Gionta wasn't on the ice this morning, and we're really hoping that whatever's plaguing him is going to disappear quickly.

I'm back after taking a week off from +/-, and quite a bit has happened so let's get to it. I can't call myself a "journalist" and not act like one, right?

PLUS

+ First and foremost to Mike Cammalleri, whose "Cammy's Heroes" program gives a pair of game tickets to members of the Armed Forces. It's a fantastic idea and a charitable gesture, and I don't know why no one else had thought of it before. Dave Stubbs also gets a plus, not just for spotlighting Cammy's generosity and humility but for doing so in an article that surpasses pretty much anything else he's written, and that's saying something. I don't think I've ever cried reading a newspaper before.

+ In keeping with the same theme, Carey Price's Remembrance Day mask was both classy and well-designed. I got to see it up close during Tuesday's pregame skate but didn't get to pay enough attention to it (I was a little overwhelmed by my proximity to the ice). I hope it raises a ton of money at auction, and I'd bid on it if I had any chance of winning.

+ Our new guys for their effort. White and Pyatt could have easily been benched after a couple of games if their performance wasn't up to par, but they've been kept in the lineup for a reason. Jay Leach said before his first game that he was mostly hoping to play well enough not to be noticed, but I've noticed him enough to be grateful that we've got another body on the blue line.

+ Injured greats elsewhere in the league making their comebacks. Not that I'm looking forward to the Canadiens playing against them, but it's good to see Malkin and Luongo (among others) back on the ice, and Alexander Ovechkin should be returning this week. Is this a good omen for our guys on IR? (With Laraque skating and Ryan O'Byrne ever so close to returning, I'm saying yes.)

+ Tomas Plekanec, Jaroslav Spacek, our goalies, and all the Canadiens who's been trying to give the team their all, win or lose.

MINUS

- More random team ailments. If anyone is responsible for what happened to Spacek and Gionta this week, this minus is for you. No, don't be proud of yourself, it's a minus.

- As I wrote earlier this week, the problems arising around girls' hockey teams in other provinces. We started this blog because of what some people think of women and hockey. It turns out that there are tons of other female hockey writers online, so I don't get why people still haven't grasped the full meaning of "hockey is for everyone."

- The band who played in the Molson Ex Zone at the Bell Centre on Tuesday gets a minus for one reason: either you learn to play "Seven Nation Army" properly or you don't play it at all.

- Olli Jokinen, just for being himself.

- You knew this was coming:

Agent Allan Walsh for last week's Twitter shenanigans. It was utterly unprofessional, no matter who he represents, and you'd think an important sports agent and lawyer would know better. Then, to make matters worse, he tries to cover up with a dopey "Duh, can't anyone take a joke?" I'm guessing Mr. Walsh has now learned his lesson, but mostly I'm happy that Jaro Halak is smarter and classier than the guy who represents him.

- To fans who booed and left early because of disappointment at the Bulldogs-Senators and Habs-Flames games. I'm not denying their right to be disappointed that their team lost, but booing your own team shows about as much social decorum as I'm guessing Allan Walsh has.

There were also a whole bunch of occurrences that can be counted as neither plus nor minus. For instance, I got to see Jarome Iginla, one of the first hockey players that I remember deciding to be a fan of, score a goal. Yay. But it, combined with the brilliance of Miikka Kiprusoff caused my team to lose the game. No. So that gets neither a plus nor minus.

Jay Leno would get a plus for having new HHOF inductee Luc Robitaille on his show for a few slapshots, but the very existence of The Jay Leno Show warrants a minus.

Here's hoping for a week full of pluses, regardless of all the red we'll be seeing in enemy logos.