Don't wanna think about it

I'm really happy that the Habs won, and not just because they've been a little slumpy lately, and I missed a few games, and there was no new 30 Rock tonight so I couldn't change the channel. There's another reason, and it was pretty big news today, so I don't need to spell it out for you.

In a season where Andrei Markov was only healthy for about three minutes, something happened to Josh Gorges. He didn't say anything about it. He didn't complain. He didn't look like he needed to miss the next game. He just took a therapy day. Then another, and another, and then finally he had to swallow his pride and admit that he was hurt, and I tried to avoid going into fits of rage and yelling about how much I hate his Black Knight act. It just keeps going downhill.

Today was a good day for a Canadiens win for a few reasons. I went to Florida for a few days and home teams were 3-for-3 at sporting events I attended (3 games, 3 sports, 3 days... I'm as shocked as you are). If I couldn't come home to the win that matters most to me, I would have hopped a plane back to the Sunshine State.

Okay, that's not true, but it might have been true if I didn't hate flying.

I was heartbroken, confused, and a million other things after the World Juniors gold medal game. Not even the thought of a gold medal win five years ago could cheer me up.

Then there was news about Josh. And it wasn't good news. I didn't know how to react, so I just didn't do anything. I didn't talk about it, I didn't think about it, I didn't throw anything. I just listened to some sad songs and resisted the urge to shut down. If the Habs didn't win, someone would probably have found me tomorrow evening, sobbing, mascara running down my cheeks (even though I haven't worn makeup in days), begging my cat to go get a tub of ice cream (even though we're both lactose intolerant). And that was before the ticker on TSN misspelled his name, and literally added insult to injury.

But the puck dropped, and I was able to see (most of) my Canadiens again. It wasn't an easy win, and there have been more enjoyable games this season, but all that matters in the end are those two points they earned. This is what the second half of the season might look like: it won't be easy, and it won't be pretty, but maybe things will end the way we want them to end. It wouldn't be hockey without a few surprises and a bit of heartbreak. We'll just have to wait and see.

Just when you thought it was safe to go back on the ice...

I signed into Facebook and saw a (Facebook) friend's status update: "when it rains it pours." At first I brushed it off as some random outburst of suburban frustration, until I heard the news. The terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad news.

photo yoinked from canadiens.com between two fits of rage

We'll be without my favourite Hab for a while. Andrei Markov has undergone surgery for the ACL that Matt Cooke ruined in Game 1 of the Pittsburgh series, and he'll be out for an estimated six months. (Yes, that bites into next season.) We can all assume that it'll have a detrimental effect on the rest of the season for the Canadiens, and to make things worse, if the 6-month recovery period is accurate, we'll have to deal with his absence through the offseason and into next season (the last on his current contract, I believe).

I totally just jinxed everything, didn't I.

This hurts

As usual, Canadiens.com released a new desktop wallpaper with this month's calendar and scheduled games on it.

Unfortunately, the timing of changing wallpaper on May 1 when your star defenceman was knocked down on April 30th, couldn't be worse.

Coach has said that Andrei Markov is out for "an indeterminate period." I'm guessing he learned that wording from the transit commission... when you hear that your metro is out of service "pour une durée indéterminée," you know you're screwed. I'm pretty sure this is the same kind of situation.
What's the hockey equivalent of sighing deeply, sitting on the floor of the metro station for a few minutes, then losing patience and going outside in hopes of finding a cab? Do I even want to know?

What to expect

Two games in two days on this Easter weekend. And they're not going to be easy games (not that we can predict "easy" games at this point in the season... right, Mr. Staal?).

We've reached a point in the season that we saw last year as well, and I didn't like it then. No, I don't like it now either. The playoffs are approaching faster than your unwanted Easter guests, and we're not sure the Habs are ready. Winning is crucial at this point in the season, but the team is weary and there are more than enough fans who've reached the point of um, let's be tactful and say irrational armchair coaching.

So, to those people, here's what's going to happen this weekend, and I can't believe you need someone like me to spell it out for you:

Yes we can

Tonight, Montreal plays Philadelphia. Now, if you don't already know that the Flyers like to punch people, and that the Habs are on their favourites list, then you don't have much time to catch up. Both teams need these two points, badly, and the Flyers will probably fight very hard to get what they want, which is excellent news since this is the time of year where everyone's injured and no one's telling. It's very possible that the Canadiens will crank out an awesome win, but keep in mind what usually happens when a team plays dirty.

Tomorrow, the Habs come home to the Bell Centre, where fans will likely be enjoying their Saturday night up in the cheap seats, and where yes, Carey Price may or may not be our starting goalie. You'll probably complain about this, but if you haven't considered the fact that Jaro might be a little tired from a busy season and the Olympics and oh, right, having played the night before, then you need to spend a little more time thinking about it. Especially you, Adam.
(Yes, I just called out a hater by name. He's probably not reading this but if he is, maybe he's learning something.)
Oh yeah, and the Habs will be playing the Sabres, boosted by Ryan Miller, who's been pretty tough to get around this season. It's not going to be easy. The team wants to win just as much as we want them to win, but two games in two nights with all the pain and pressure won't necessarily mean four points.

Just warning you. You know, in case you decide to be one of those Twitter monsters that ~czechtacular mentioned earlier this week, or one of the drunken Bell Centre superstars that Dave Stubbs called out, or one of the people who complains about a certain goalie all the time but wants PK Subban to wear the CH right now at any cost.

Okay, I feel better now that I've let all this out.

Plus/Minus: because I already made that Phantom of the Opera picture

Hmmm... we've been a little MIA again. I guess we should have told you guys that we're bad at keeping promises. Which reminds me, I've got friends still waiting on a homemade lasagna dinner that I promised, um, two? three? years ago. Maybe I should have got that over with before I became lactose intolerant.
The Habs of this last week remind me of the Habs I knew when I first started watching regular games, what with all the roster changes and everything. It's a little off-putting now that I've become accustomed to the normally rock-solid Jacques Martin rosters, but I kind of feel nostalgic wondering who'll sit out and who'll be in net.

PLUS
+ To Pat Hickey for writing a touching article about Pat Burns that can only be described as "Dave Stubbs caliber." (I figure the plus for Pat Burns doesn't need to be mentioned, because if you think it's not automatically there, then, um, I'm smarter than you?)
+ to Carey Price's dad.
+ Congrats, Pleks, on 100 goals.
+ Speaking of goals, we saw some pretty good stuff from Gionta this week, and I'm thisclose to throwing another "Giontastic" out there, because that goal on Vokoun was quite, well, y'know...
+ I like it when Dennis Kane shares his many, many awesome stories about being a Habs fan in and out of Montreal, and cutting a CH logo into the grass behind his house might be my favourite one yet.
+ I'm not sure if I'd actually do this at my wedding, but future Senators wife Carrie Underwood has decided to forgo a wedding cake at her reception in favour of cupcakes. Sure, it seems a little trendy, but it's kind of cute.
+ ETA: I can't believe I forgot this, but a huge plus goes out to 30 Rock and Paula Pell, who wrote last week's episode featuring the lamest, most hilarious, Juno-nominated Ottawa Senators hype song as performed by Cheyenne Jackson's character (who is from Ottawa). If you're American you can watch the episode here. If you're Canadian like us, um, no luck. NBC.com doesn't love us yet.


MINUS
- Seriously? The likelihood that we've seen good guy Glen Metropolit in a Habs jersey for the last time isn't something I like to think about.
- Travis Moen's face.
- Jack Todd is a great writer. And that's the main reason why it pisses me off that he's still complaining about our goalie situation, as he's been doing for months. He's head counselor at Camp Carey Boo. I would say "it's getting old" but honestly, this act was already old when 2010 started. It's always the same story. Maybe if we're lucky, next week Mr. Todd will talk about Avatar or Kanye West's "Imma let you finish" rant.
- To myself (this is an overdue plus from last week). The Paralympics came and went, and I didn't write a single thing about sledge hockey.

Happy Passover and Easter, dear readers. And happy second-to-last week of the season! I wish you many points and no more injuries. And an excellent new episode of Lost tomorrow!

A higher, faster, stronger Plus/Minus

Last week I actually wondered how I'd review a week with no Canadiens. Turns out it was much easier than expected, especially since last night the team I cheered for got beat by Ryan Miller and his ugly helmet, and I woke up to find out that other fans were whining about goalies. ("Luongo" was a Twitter trending topic the day after Brodeur started. My days of no goalie conflicts were good while they lasted.)

PLUS

+ for the superfans: the Vancouver Green Men who've been having their fun at the Olympics, and to the "He Shoots He Scores" gentleman who never misses a chance to cheer on Canadian hockey at an international level. (King blogger Dennis Kane mentioned him earlier this week, before I got the chance to, and I'm glad to know I'm not the only fan.) Does anyone know anything about this man? Should we give him a nickname? I'm thinking Mr. Canada, unless you think Hayley Wickenheiser wouldn't mind sharing the title of Captain Canada.
+ Our Hamilton Bulldogs for their 5-0 win on home ice at the Bell Centre. Yes, I said home ice.
+ for our medallists, for their hard work and their sheer glee at making it to the podium, and to the athletes who didn't win medals but gave it their all and just happened to be outdone by stronger/luckier contenders.
+ to the silver and bronze medallists in women's snowboard cross, who instead of being disappointed that they couldn't catch up to Maelle Ricker, acted like they were too happy to share the podium with her and share a happy moment with Canadians. It was a fantastic display of sportsmanship.
+ James Duthie has won me over during these Games. He's been relaxed and affable and he holds nothing back, from his burns on Michael Landsberg to his WTF face at the atrocity that is MuchMusic's ski cabin.
+ An enemy plus goes to Shaun White, who's ridiculously good and so fun to watch on the halfpipe. He makes me want to try snowboarding, even though I know it's not as easy as he makes it look.

MINUS

- Can anyone else believe the horrible taste that the Globe and Mail and Chartered Accountants displayed by running this ad mere days after the death of Georgian luger Nodar Kumaritashvili?
- to all the people who can't make up their mind about these Olympic Games. They say that our women's hockey team is too arrogant by finishing games with such high scores, and that the Own the Podium program is un-Canadian, and yet the very same media outlets will bitch and moan when a medal hopeful doesn't pick up any hardware. You can't complain about having one of the best teams in the world in one sport, and then picking on other Canadian athletes and calling them "disappointing"or saying they "choked" when they place fifth. How can anyone possibly be disappointed that their country raised and trained one of the best athletes in the world, even if they're not the number-one best? The shame shouldn't lie on the drooping shoulders of an exhausted, medal-less athlete, but on every un-patriotic countryman stupid enough to criticize them from the comfort of a couch or an office chair.
- to the genius who wrote to the Gazette this week and said that un-firing Georges Laraque would solve all of the Canadiens' problems (which he listed, by the way). Sure, having a little extra muscle might help during a time when all pucks seem to be directed at Habs' heads, but it's quite clear that Laraque was let go because things just weren't working out with him. I don't see how his return would change everything for this team, especially since the same end could be met by different means: finding another fighter before the trade deadline, begging Tom Kostopoulos to come back, reversing Greg Stewart's waiver situation, calling up Eric Neilson, or giving Travis Moen and Maxim Lapierre a slap in the face and a whole lot of Red Bull to get them good and angry. But I doubt that a fight here or there is what's keeping this team from the Cup finals. (I know I just played armchair GM after criticizing someone else for doing just that, and I'm sorry.)
- on a more serious note, our condolences go out to figure skater Joannie Rochette, who as of this writing has chosen to compete on Tuesday despite her mother's passing. It's not the kind of emotional situation that anyone should have to go through.

Well, it's been another week of ups and downs (mostly downs if you're anyone but me) but there's hope for our Olympians yet. And once the Olympics are over, there will be hockey.

HDIC post-mortem

Yesterday was my first Hockey Day In Canada, since I missed it last year, and I only missed part of it this year, but I'm pretty sure that I don't actually like it as much as I thought I did.

I couldn't bring myself to post a picture of ailing Cammy, but luckily I found this one picture from yesterday before the injury

By now you know what happened to Mike Cammalleri, who has not missed a single game yet this season, and that it sucks. We'll know exactly how much it sucks when his MRI results come out. We'll stay tuned for post-practice interviews and announcements tomorrow. That's probably when the bomb drops.

And the Habs lost. And Hockey Day In Canada was rife with Tim Hortons commercials starring a guy who doesn't play for any of the six Canadian NHL teams and never will.

Yesterday's big stars were probably the Canucks' Sedin line, who lit up in the third period for one hell of a comeback, and the Calgary Flames, who flattened the Oilers and made their C of red very, very happy.

Looks like postgame celebrations were cut short.

I guess they'll start calling him "the CN Tower"

Dion Phaneuf used to be huge and awesome (no, male readers, I'm NOT in love with him, I just have had mad respect for him) before he became a Toronto Maple Leaf, which he now is.

No, I don't believe it either, and I don't like it very much, but it looks like the Leafs are suiting up to fight their way out of last place by trading away some of their bigger names and trying to solve their goalie problem by taking Jean-Sébastien Giguère out of Anaheim.

This is great news for whoever covers Leafs games in French. Personally, I've never really had any reason to like Giguère, and I'm not looking forward to seeing him more often.

I've been learning a few new things lately. My latest lesson? The post-Hockey Day hangover is disgusting. I'm betting poor Dion is in bed right now with one hell of a headache that won't go away until his contract ends.