Dear injury fairy: you're a bitch

The injury fairy is angry. She's very angry. She's been messing with us big-time in the last couple of days. Maybe she just wanted to see how far she could go with the Canadiens. She's got a lot of bravado now that she managed to fell Sidney Crosby with a concussion. That was a pretty big get. Usually when she goes after the league's most important player, she makes him pull a muscle when he folds his own laundry, or something.

In case you're not up to speed, here's what happened during last night's game against the Buffalo Sabres at HSBC Arena: most of the Habs got injured and Patrick Kaleta is evil. Here, let a few of my Twitter friends fill in the blanks (I'm a little worried that Laura might sic the injury fairy on me, as she's the boss when it comes to Twitter screencaps):

I, of course, had a case of the maybes and tried to figure out why the injury fairy would do this to us, and what karma the Habs could have brought upon themselves. Karma's been especially mean to poor Max Pacioretty, who was sick, then got whaled on by Psycho Henrik Lundqvist, and now has suffered some damage to his ribs. Someone please keep an eye on him, to make sure he doesn't slip on the sidewalk or get a paper cut. Time to confess, Montreal Canadiens: What did you do?
Double-park somewhere?
Claim that Toronto or New York has better bagels than Montreal?
Tell Jacques Martin that his hair looked okay?
Watch Jay Leno at some point in the last year?
Go out into the Montreal cold without hats, scarves, or boots? Oh, wait...

...was it the "excessive" postgoal celebrations?

Well, whatever it was, the injury fairy decided to give the Habs an extra helping of hurt. And in doing so, she hurt my feelings. And the Kings lost, too. And I didn't win an Anze Kopitar autographed puck on Facebook. And then Jarome Iginla pulled out of the All-Star Game and was replaced by Daniel Briere.

Getting a little personal there, injury fairy. Maybe I'm the one who caused this. Are we cool now?

Dustin checks out

I have so much to say about Dustin Boyd now that he's no longer a Canadien. (Dustin? Justin? I really can't remember anymore.) If you think this move came out of nowhere, I've got a few theories about why this happened.

Maybe the 10 minutes he played all season took valuable ice time away from Lars Eller.

Maybe this team didn't want a player with a full head of curls. To which I say, DISCRIMINATION! Is this part of a greater conspiracy? Did I just figure out the real reason behind the Maxim Lapierre faux-hawk?

Maybe Pierre Gauthier wrote Boyd's name down to remember that he is indeed a "Dustin", but accidentally wrote it down on his spare set of waiver papers.

Maybe those waiver papers were intended for Scott Gomez because Gauthier was told once and for all that Montreal would not get Jarome Iginla. (But Iginla for Gomez would make me happy.)

Maybe it's time for Boyd to play in Edmonton or Tampa Bay - we all know the best way to play there is to be a former Canadien.

Maybe someone in the Habs' front office doesn't like the list of "Boyd" puns I keep in my back pocket.

Maybe he was not the Boyd we're looking for.

Maybe we'll start seeing some forward lines that make sense without having to worry about the odd man out.

Happy trails, Justin Dustin.

I don't believe it either

This is like that scene from Edward Scissorhands.



Okay, maybe no one's dancing about the snow... but still. This is so like that scene from Edward Scissorhands.
A few months ago, before winter really started, I wrote about how the first snowfall of the season seems to take place after the Canadiens do something incredible.
Then I woke up this morning to snow... not just a little flake or two. It's really snowing outside.

See the little patches of white on the lawn, and the thin layer of snow on the railing? It's April 27th. Wtf.

I'm hoping this means something special will happen.

City Of Angels...

... was apparently a terrible movie, but I only sorta liked Wings of Desire so I'll pass on the modestly reviewed remake. That was kind of a clumsy way to start a post about Los Angeles.

The LA Kings site coined "Hockeywood," which is cute

Last season I had this crazy theory that whenever I was out of town during a Habs game, the team lost.
- The season started well enough until the Anaheim Ducks came to town while I was up north for the weekend, and my friends and I heard bits of the game on the radio, and found out that our team ultimately lost.
- Everyone remembers the unfortunate post-All Star skid. I listened to a slightly dejected Carey Price being interviewed on the way to the airport a week after the All Star Game, managed to see a few scores on ESPN during a week in the sun (or the coldest February that Cuba has ever seen), then came home to find out that the Habs hadn't won a single game the entire time I was away, and that a few players had been felled by injuries.
- I went to Ontario for a long weekend a few weeks after that, and found out via Czechtacular that the Canadiens lost their Thursday night game in OT. That Saturday's game was Martin Brodeur's famous "I kick you, Patrick Roy" record-breaker win, so obviously the Habs lost. Ironically, I was at a Hamilton Bulldogs game while that happened, and they beat Manitoba in a thrilling 5-1 win, with the Moose's only goal scored by '93 Cup winner Mike Keane.

By that point I was starting to be thankful that I didn't have the kind of job that required any sort of business travel.
It also took a while but I realized that last season wasn't indicative of the best the Canadiens have ever played, so it's more than possible that these were just unfortunate coincidences.

Still, it's for this reason that I was slightly worried about planning a trip to Los Angeles that would end after the Olympic break was over (it's a bit disheartening to come home and find out your team lost five minutes out of baggage claim). So far, though, les boys have been doing alright. Just to be sure, though, I made sure to stay in California this weekend. It's the Habs and the Oscars, after all. I'll be at Staples Center tomorrow to try and reverse the curse. I mean, if I'm not in Montreal but I'm close to the Canadiens, it's good juju, right? It has to be.

The Staples Center only allows posters and signs smaller than 11x17", which sort of ruins my plan for bringing a huge poster to my first away game in hopes of getting some RDS face time. They don't allow any signs on sticks either, so taking a page out of the Team Canada fanbook and printing up a giant Andrei Markov head is a no-go.
Still, poster suggestions are welcome if I can get my hands on cardboard and markers.

This is why we're hurt

I figured it out. I know why the injury fairy has it out for Montreal. And, as usual, it's a theory so crazy that it can't possibly be true. Or can it?

We were on the cusp of the Olympics when I started seeing the (extremely improbable) truth about the Habs' cavalcade of injurie. It's karma. And, unfortunately, it's something else the haters can blame on Bob.

Part of the reason why this whole Georges Laraque thing didn't work out, and why Bob Gainey ultimately decided to buy out his contract is because we never saw him. I haven't checked the stats, but I'm pretty sure he was only healthy for about fifteen minutes during the entire season and a half that he wore the CH (or, most of the time, didn't). His back injury was chronic and if I remember correctly, he was also plagued by the occasional pain elsewhere. Our strongman was physically the team's weakest link, and since Laraque and the team have parted ways, the injury karma has spread to the rest of the team instead of just disappearing. It's been less than a month since Big Georges was let go and we've seen a handful of major injuries since then, even more than we've become used to after The Year That Hurt. In about three weeks, Habs fans have witnessed Cammalleri's disgusting knee injury, Bergeron on injured reserve, Pouliot out, Gorges and Spacek bleeding from the head.

How is it that things got worse after the team tried to let go of a player who appeared to be holding everyone down?

Anyone else notice this?

In the midst of all of tonight's hockey excitement (Habs come back against Bruins! Caps and Rangers score a million goals! Kovalchuk traded to the Devils!) I can't help but think about some of yesterday's news.

The Columbus Blue Jackets decided to part ways with coach Ken Hitchcock. It all sounds just a little bit familiar.

Per an NHL.com article:

Hitchcock led the Blue Jackets to the first playoff berth in franchise history last spring...

A team whose entry into the playoffs both surprised and excited their fanbase, the likes of which hadn't been seen in a very long time (or in this case, ever)?

The defense, usually a trademark of Hitchcock-coaches teams, has struggled -- and 2008-09 Calder Trophy winner Steve Mason hasn't matched last season's performance in goal.

A sophomore goaltender who wasn't putting up the same numbers he had as a rookie, numbers which catapulted him into the spotlight and caused his elder, former #1 goalie to be traded away?

"It's terrible news," Nash, the Jackets' captain, told the Columbus Dispatch. "It's terrible news. It's terrible we couldn't play better and the coach had to be fired..."

No other solution but to fire the coach of a team whose season has been, to say the least, disappointing?

Maybe it's just me, but this sounds an awful lot like last season's Canadiens. We'll have to see how - and when - Columbus turns around. Will the team need to clean house? Or has our example proved that a new roster might not always make the huge difference you hope it will?

In any case, I know one thing: Columbus can't have Brian Gionta. Sorry.

Rookie gets in the game

Okay, usually I try to stay away from trade rumours, mostly because it weirds me out that players get traded around like commodities (it's like GMs are kids with hockey cards, saying "Oh, I really want your Drew Doughty! What do you want for it? I have a Rick Nash...")

Also because this.

But a couple of them have piqued my interest over the last couple of days. (Especially since Dion Phaneuf was apparently up for grabs.)

First, there are reports that Ilya Kovalchuk may not be chained down in Atlanta like we thought he was. I don't know what you'd have to trade for a player like him, but I'd be interested to see where he ends up. (By which I mean, um, here. So that the Habs don't have to play against him.)

Also, apparently the Penguins miss Hal Gill and want him back. Really? I know there are some Habs fans who'd give him away for a bag of chips, but if a team like Pittsburgh really wants something, what are they willing to give up? Play hardball, Bob. Keep at it until you get us Dan Bylsma.

Does anyone think there'll be any more major transactions, or is Gainey pretty much done his shopping for the year?

Snowy, with a chance of victory

So, about last night...

AWESOME.

And I'll tell you why.

Because we had a strong, motivated team backed by a solid goaltender?

Because we outshot the other team?

Because Scott Gomez had a fire lit under him?

Because our power play is improving?

Because we played against a team that doesn't always have their business together?

No.

Well, yes, okay, yeah, all of those things are true, but no.

You see, I have a lot of crazy theories about why things happen. (It's probably why ~czechtacular spends her days laughing at me. Even though we don't see each other every day.) And you are about to learn one of them:

I don't necessarily believe in the weather as an all-encompassing force that controls all things...

Okay, but I don't want to piss off Storm, she's pretty badass

...but you may have noticed that the Habs' win against the Islanders was a) the first win in regulation time and b) insane. It also happened on the same day as the first snowfall. I know that last week or the week before a few flakes fell, but yesterday there were actual flurries. I don't know about you, but I looked out the window yesterday afternoon, saw all those beautiful white, fluffy flakes gently making their way to the sidewalk, and said "oh shit." That's when you know it's snowing. (The rain cleared up that snow, though. Yay.)

Anyway, crazy things tend to happen on the day of the first snowfall. Case in point: Thursday's game.

I was pretty happy after Tuesday's shootout win, a victory best described as, well, Giontastic*. I knew that things could get better, though, and they did. Our Canadiens didn't just win against the Islanders, they actually played to win and kicked some ass. I had almost forgot what it was like to see such epic ass-kicking.

And I'd go so far as to say that this is some weird natural phenomenon that only happens once a season. Things go crazy when the snow first falls. You don't know what it's going to be, you don't always know when it'll happen, but something unexpected is going to happen.

Look at last season: After about a season and a half of nothing, and a few weeks of really trying for it (including a sacrificed stick), Josh Gorges scores his first goal as a Canadien. (And it was a really nice one!). Also that night, Ryan O'Byrne did the unspeakable, but let's not speak of that. And if you looked outside your window or went outdoors after that game, do you remember what you saw? A thin layer of pristine, sparkling white snow on the ground. Now, it hasn't been proven if that game (also against the Islanders, is that part of the pattern?) was crazy because of the snow, or if Storm decided to celebrate the first Josh goal, but there's something there.

Two seasons, two snowfalls, and two memorable games. I'm just sayin'.

* Rookie's note: You can use the word "Giontastic," but don't act like you invented it.