Monday, May 3, 2010

Hollywood: Get this guy to do your Oscar campaigns...

... because he's really after that Douchebag of the Year title.

As if giving a guy a concussion (yes, I know we're not supposed to like Marc Savard, but at least for the sake of this argument, Bruins are people too), taking out our top defenceman for the rest of the season, and just generally being awful weren't enough, Matt Cooke has gone after the Habs' greenest player.

Cooke said that Montreal rookie defenseman P.K. Subban “cut his skate all up” after a first-period hit.
“Thankfully, my foot wasn’t touched,” said Cooke, who  had to leave the ice for a few minutes to have his skate repaired.
A highly-regarded 20-year-old, Stubban sliced a tendon in the foot of Penguins center Jordan Staal in Game 1 on a hit at center ice. 
“It’s the second time (it’s happened),” said Cooke, who scored Pittsburgh’s lone goal early in the first period. “I know it’s not a penalty when skates collide but for that to happen in back-to-back games by the same guy is suspicious.”
(Yes, they totally spelled it as "Stubban" that time. Sound off in the comments section.)

Does Cooke have nothing better to do than cook up conspiracy theories about good-natured rookies? Did he set out to have half our friends change their Facebook status to "Ta gueule, Matt Cooke"? Is he stupid, arrogant, misquoted or racist? Whatever the case may be, Matt Cooke, the jerk store called, and they're running out of you.


  1. Ugh, Matt Cooke is The Worst. Please, please, please beat these jerks 9-1 tonight. And: why Vancouver and San Jose? I can't tell you how happy I'd be if the final four were all Original Six.

  2. atarnow, your resentment of Sidney Crosby makes you the first Rangers fan I want to hug.
    The Habs have 15 more minutes to kick some ass, because now that Markov's diagnosis has been released (torn ACL) I want Matt Cooke to go away very soon.
    An Original Six conference final would be awesome, but I'm liking what I see in San Jose and Vancouver. Plus Luongo's one of ours! He grew up on my side of town.


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