Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Sleeping with the enemy?

Roman Hamrlik with then-teammate Dion Phaneuf. This D-Unit no longer exists, and if they had to get used to that, so do I.

My mother would disapprove of the inspiration behind this post, as it has to do with a concept she disagrees with: mistress teams. Well, blame the calendar. The Montreal Canadiens hit the Saddledome this fine Tuesday and I happen to count the Calgary Flames as part of my beloved "side-dishes." I'm sure I'm not the only one that has this as a potential conflict one or two (or six, if you're harbouring some secret Bruins love or Sens sympathy) times a year. A guide to dealing with the outbursts that come as a result of such matchups can be found below.

Determine best-case scenario. Unless it's a game in late March and the Flames (or other team) are on the edge of either falling out of the playoffs or grabbing first spot in the Northwest whereas the Habs are comfortably sitting way up in the East (such a scenario hasn't happened to me as a fan, I don't know about you), don't be wishy-washy about who has to win. Habs. Always. (I was born in '86 and not '89 for a reason.) Whether you want a 2-1 shootout win or a 6-5 goals' festival is something else.

Gather a support team. Watch the game with friends, live or online where your numerous keysmashes (or verbal keysmashes) will be understood. You can be fed popcorn to shut you up from garbling about faceoffs, or cheered up with hilarious emoticons when Kipper is sitting there in the crease looking like someone stole his blanket. The support team is primarily counted on to remind you of Guide Rule #1, no matter how many games Iggy hasn't had a goal (and can you believe some people in Calgary are already concerned about this? It's two games in, for Pete's sake).

Calculate fight possibilities, even the alien-sounding ones. Even if the teams don't face off often during the year, rivalries tend to build up pretty quickly. You laugh about them afterwards (Rookie and I were witness to Plekanec being this close to dropping the gloves with Cammalleri last season, and all of a sudden they're linemates.) but if you're a fan of certain pugilists you might want to think about who they'll be sharing the highlight reel with so that your face doesn't drop off when it happens in real-time.

Have fun with it. Make predictions for scorers and/or the eventuality of shootout candidates. Mute the tv and do your own play-by-play (recommended for some games that don't even have such a conflict, but are only featured on a certain channel with annoying announcers). Create a drinking game*.

Allow for a little grudge period. Robyn Regehr isn't very well-liked by Habs' fans, even if Aaron Downey and Matt D'Agostini are alive and well. However, he is a solid defenseman and generally awesome the other 364 days of the year. You don't have to like what happens during the game, and you can frown a little afterwards, but then again, when the next Flames' game is against the Oilers and certain pesky opponents actually need to be crunched mercilessly against the boards, the spilt milk dries up pretty quickly.

*a guide for a Habs' drinking game, started last season, will be up sometime this year when all the amendments are made. Given that one of the rules was "if Kovalev's helmet falls off, take a shot," you can guess that there will be a number of subtractions, as well as a number of additions.

1 comment:

  1. This reminds me of the time Kathini and I went to Peel Pub and the sound went out and the guy was all "and thenext guy has it...and the next guy...and the next guy..." and so-on ahahaha although that time happend a week ago, aka months after this post was written!



If you're a spambot, I'm just going to stop you right now. Your message will be deleted, so don't even bother, okay? Okay.