Plus/Minus: Maybe not such a well-oiled machine

Earlier this week, I watched my all-time favourite Jeopardy contestant, Ken Jennings, lose a Jeopardy tournament to a supercomputer. (Yes, I love Jeopardy, deal with it.) It was bizarre. The whole thing was won by a computer, with no face, no feelings, and an inhuman thought process. It was just as crushing as watching the Canadiens lose this week. But just a little bit scarier.

PLUS

+ I know his options were limited, but it really says something that Jacques Martin put Tom Pyatt in the shootout against Buffalo. Pyatt hasn't exactly wowed anyone this season, and you'd think a coach like Martin would want him out of the way, but he threw Pyatt a bone. Maybe it'll just take a little more for him to put some points on the board this season.
+ Congrats to the Old Habs on beating the Old Flames at the alumni game!
+ Mike Cammalleri is back!
+ Paul Mara's beard!
+ Hat tricks: Devin Setoguchi helped the Sharks to a win and Neil Young (no joke, it was actually Neil Young, I swear) applauded him. And Taylor Hall had a natural hat trick, which as I learned this week is even fancier than a regular hat trick.

+ My favourite non-hockey sporting event of the year, the NBA All-Star Skills Competition, did not disappoint. It was flashy and over-the-top and famous people were there and Cee-Lo performed. Also, the slam dunk competition was so good that I am literally unable to choose my favourite dunk. I can't even give advantage to everyone's favourite basketball player Blake Griffin. (A Minus within this Plus goes to Michael Jordan... c'mon man, I know you're the greatest that ever lived, but don't text during the dunk competition!)
+ Just when I started getting jealous of the NBA All-Star Weekend for its multitude of relevant musical acts, the Heritage Classic busts out Metric as the live entertainment between the 2nd and 3rd periods. Thank you, universe. And this, just one week after the other best band in Canada won Album of the Year at the Grammys.

MINUS

- I looked forward to the Heritage Classic because two teams that I like very much were going to play outdoors. It turns out only one of those teams played. What happened, Habs?
- 2 I might be sad that the Canadiens didn't do enough in Calgary, but I would never disrespect them like some people did. First, there was François Gagnon on Twitter, complaining about the American anthem being performed at an all-Canadian game. I'm not saying his whining was unfounded, just a little excessive, especially for a professional journalist who should probably have known that they were going to sing it. It's as if there wasn't a hockey game after the anthems were performed. And then, I saw people who had spent time and money to get to McMahon Stadium, to see what I'd consider a once-in-a-lifetime hockey game, and they LEAVE EARLY. Unless all those people were in danger of frostbite, they should be ashamed. A real fan will watch their team, win or lose.
- I loved everything on CBC leading up to the Heritage Classic, except for the complete lack of imagination on the part of whoever set a montage to the Requiem for a Dream music. Really? REALLY? You think you're the first person to think of that?
- The Canadiens lost to the Buffalo Sabres and I can't even blame Ryan Miller for it? That just makes me sad.
- File James Wisniewski's puck-to-face incident under "Things That Should Have Happened To Sean Avery."
- Patrick Kane parties like nobody's watching and dresses poorly while doing so. Never change, Patrick Kane, never change.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be bracing myself for the Canucks game on Tuesday.

Plus/Minus: perfect cure for the playoff hangover

It's been a hell of a season, and I'm sad it's over. At the same time, I'm kind of enjoying the rest and free time, as I'm sure our Habs are. I'm also quite sure that combining "time with friends" and "get out of the house to avoid American Idol" is something that only I, not an NHL player, would be happy about. They're probably enjoying the extra sleep and not needing to be on a plane every other day and whatnot. Meanwhile, fans everywhere are thisclose to pulling their hair out because of the lack of hockey and the Habs Inside/Out server crash.

BETTER THAN MAKING IT TO THE CONFERENCE FINALS

Little-known fact: Scott Gomez uses these moments to unleash the meanest "yo momma" jokes in history.

(photo from canadiens.com)

+ I'm sad that the season's over without some rings on our Habs' hands, but if you read my last post, you know how proud I am of my team.
+ An outdoor game between the Habs and Flames next season? Excuse us while we break out into song.
+ To our second-favourite country, the Czech Republic, winning the world championship.

Good job, guys!

+ A recent Gazette article said that stores selling Canadiens merch got a lot of requests from women who wanted lady Hab shirts in "the real colours" - this is a huge step in our crusade against pink hockey merch!
+ Here's to you, Jaroslav Halak. Habs fans love you more than you will know. (wo wo wo)
+ In addition to his arsenal of on-ice tricks, Mike Cammalleri unleashed a new weapon during the Flyers series: making crazy faces. We love it.
+ Maxim Lapierre for being an effective shit-disturber.
+ All the supporting players who've come out of the woodwork and helped the Habs get as far as they've come.
+ I've come under some heat for saying this, but I'd like to thank those morons in Philadelphia for restoring the good name of Habs fans.


WORSE THAN LOSING TO THE FLYERS
(although, seriously, is there anything worse than losing to the Flyers?)

photo from Facebook via Bulldogs fan Scott Gardner, who I've never met but he seems to have had awesome Game 7 seats

- The Bulldogs lost too? Aw.
- Am I to honestly believe that in the months since the Habs took Dominic Moore, there hasn't been time to stand him against some white wall and take a picture? Why does he still have his Flo Panthers roster shot?
- "Start the season with injury and finish the season with injury." We miss you already, Marky! November seems so far away.
- If I may express personal opinion for a second (and I will, because this is my blog and you'll listen to every damn word I say), I hate Dustin Byfuglien. If that's how you spell it. I usually just call him "Fugli" and leave it at that.
- Alain Crete's new glasses make him look like some kind of hipster Mr. Magoo. I guess I'm glad the season's over.
- RIS gets a major minus for promising to air season postmortem interviews live on Tuesday. They did not.
- Twice now, the Moron Rioters have unleashed destruction upon downtown Montreal mere days before the Habs get eliminated from the playoffs. I'm just a bit too superstitious to let this slide one more time, so tell everyone you know that rioting makes the Habs lose.


The Winter Classic and Kyle Klubertanz purchase news are obvious attempts from the NHL to keep me writing, but I need to take a couple of days of "me" time, if only to get used to the sight of Jonathan Toews' mutton chops. I'll probably be back before you know it, but before I (briefly) go, I'd like to thank you readers for a great season! It's been a fun first season for me, and knowing that so many of you are reading and coming back to Hab It Her Way so often makes me try to be a better writer. Okay, sappy part over, sunbathey part begins!
See you at the end-of-season sale, maybe? If I don't see you here first?

Breaking news...

Just in case our liveblog turned out to be like the last one (ie. frustrating, undesired result), I saved this news for a potential pick-me-up. Brian Gionta's existence means we need no such mood-lifter, but to hold us over a little while extra I have the following awesomeness.

That's right, your bloggettes (and a friend, poor friend) are headed to a Habs' game and we don't have to go to Ottawa to do it. The proof arrived (rather quickly, I must say) in my mailbox this afternoon, this after I pulled out all the stops in my classroom (!) to get a seat in that waiting room last Thursday, which is what Rookie alluded to in her latest Plus/Minus post. That blasted system usually never works for me, which is what makes this most recent acquisition all the more miraculous. That said, the other 21 270 people had probably best be prepared....

Thoughts on Atlanta-Montreal now....It would be nice if we could win in 60 minutes, not 65, but I'm not spitting on the W. I'm actually convinced that Brian Gionta is Superman. If no one is going to sew that C on his jersey I'm going to find one and put it on myself. With masking tape. If I must. Honourable mentions to Scott Gomez for not tolerating Kozlov's assault on him near the end of regulation, and Max Lapierre for going Extreme Makeover, Rage Edition on Colby Armstrong. And all the more reason to love this game: the Kladno contingent being represented in the other net. Ondrej Pavelec quickly became one of my favourite goaltenders in the Q when my Cape Breton friend pointed him out in several of her game posts four years ago. Despite leading the Chicago Wolves to a Calder Cup he's had a rough go of an NHL career, often playing third fiddle in a goaltending duo that had its own share of ups and downs with the play (or lack thereof) of the supporting cast around them. However, tonight proved how well he's filling in for injured starter Kari Lehtonen. From what I had seen up til now, though, he hadn't had a game quite like this one to really put his coaching staff in a means to really start to think about the future. It's bittersweet to see him pull off what he did in front of the Habs, but I'm glad for him that he did. It'll be interesting now to see what happens in a few weeks when Lehtonen's scheduled to make his return.

In the meantime, wahoo, Habs-Flames tickets! Aaaand goodnight.

Fighting Fire With Fire

A Habs-Flames encounter from last season, with a very familiar-looking Calgary centreman.

So, this was supposed to be an update BEFORE tonight's game but the STM had other plans for your friendly neighbourhood blogger, so it's a postgame dealie instead. I also apologize in advance for any poor writing quality, but I'm fighting a cold so hard you'd think it was a Leafs fan.  

Dear readers, today you learned that ~czechtacular loves the Flames. She LOVES them. Believe me. I have yet to officially choose a backup team, but I do like Calgary. Jarome Iginla is one of my absolute favourite NHL players outside of Montreal. I've been a fan since the Olympics. (I don't remember which Olympics, because it was my pre-hockey days.) Sorry to say, but your bloggers have been looking forward to this game for a while. (We're guessing Mike Cammalleri's been looking forward to it too.)  

A quick welcome back to our boys Kyle Chipchura and Yannick Weber. We'd prefer to see them back under better circumstances (you know, not because of an epic amount of injuries), but Chip's been off the ice too long and I have lots of hope for Weber. Also good to see Halak in net: not only does this give me hope that we'll see a healthy distribution of work between our two goalies, keeping them both in great shape, but it reminds me of how brilliant he was against Calgary at the Bell Centre last December. We were at that game, obviously losing our minds, and Halak was amazing. He proved that he can handle the Flames, and that he can put in a great performance and not be overshadowed by a more experienced goalie like Miikka Kiprusoff.  

Pretty good game tonight. It would have been better if we'd won, but that goes without saying, I guess. 

Jay Bouwmeester's a much better fit for the Flames than his name is on the back of his jersey.  

You might be interested to know that ~czechtacular predicted both the Prust/Stewart fight and the Nystrom/Chipchura fight. I'm not even kidding. She called Prust/Stewart today at lunch and while it was happening said Nystrom and Chips would be next, and indeed they were.  

Speaking of Eric Nystrom, he scored the first goal of the game, a pretty decent faraway goal. Mike Cammalleri and Scott Gomez collaborated to tie the game, then a mere thirty seconds later Guillaume Latendresse turned into that Wicked Awesome Gui that shows up from time to time and scored a goal worthy of the awesome fist-pump he celebrated with. 

Then it was Pardy-time for Nystrom and the game got tied 2-2. Jarome Iginla scored a third goal on a power play (but, I mean, it's Jarome Iginla, unguarded, near a net, on a power play. We may not like it but these things are to be expected.) Welcome back, Tomas Plekanec! I think our #14 may have scored the goal of the night in the closing moments of the 2nd period. 

Third period. Third goal for Nystrom. Damn. (Some people may argue that Josh Gorges had an accidental hand in this goal, but I won't hear of it.) The game would stay at 4-3, but there were a few pretty awesome shots on goal in the second half of the last period. We didn't lose for lack of trying.  

I thought it necessary to point out that during the second period, Pierre Houde made a reference to "Dustin Prust," who isn't anyone, but as soon as I said it out loud, he corrected himself. And this is proably the only time that I'll ever get to point out Pierre Houde's mistake, since he's a gentleman and a scholar and probably the best thing about RDS. (Sorry, Dave Morisette.)  

And a shoutout to Calgary's in-house announcer. Our Michel Lacroix is unparalleled, but Mr. Saddledome's got some pipes in him. And just in case you think I'm getting just a little bit too pro-Calgary, I'll say what must be said: Montreal's throwback jerseys are MUCH nicer. I know it goes without saying but honestly. They don't even look good on the skanky ice girls. (Am I allowed to say "skanky"?)

Sleeping with the enemy?

Roman Hamrlik with then-teammate Dion Phaneuf. This D-Unit no longer exists, and if they had to get used to that, so do I.

My mother would disapprove of the inspiration behind this post, as it has to do with a concept she disagrees with: mistress teams. Well, blame the calendar. The Montreal Canadiens hit the Saddledome this fine Tuesday and I happen to count the Calgary Flames as part of my beloved "side-dishes." I'm sure I'm not the only one that has this as a potential conflict one or two (or six, if you're harbouring some secret Bruins love or Sens sympathy) times a year. A guide to dealing with the outbursts that come as a result of such matchups can be found below.

Determine best-case scenario. Unless it's a game in late March and the Flames (or other team) are on the edge of either falling out of the playoffs or grabbing first spot in the Northwest whereas the Habs are comfortably sitting way up in the East (such a scenario hasn't happened to me as a fan, I don't know about you), don't be wishy-washy about who has to win. Habs. Always. (I was born in '86 and not '89 for a reason.) Whether you want a 2-1 shootout win or a 6-5 goals' festival is something else.

Gather a support team. Watch the game with friends, live or online where your numerous keysmashes (or verbal keysmashes) will be understood. You can be fed popcorn to shut you up from garbling about faceoffs, or cheered up with hilarious emoticons when Kipper is sitting there in the crease looking like someone stole his blanket. The support team is primarily counted on to remind you of Guide Rule #1, no matter how many games Iggy hasn't had a goal (and can you believe some people in Calgary are already concerned about this? It's two games in, for Pete's sake).

Calculate fight possibilities, even the alien-sounding ones. Even if the teams don't face off often during the year, rivalries tend to build up pretty quickly. You laugh about them afterwards (Rookie and I were witness to Plekanec being this close to dropping the gloves with Cammalleri last season, and all of a sudden they're linemates.) but if you're a fan of certain pugilists you might want to think about who they'll be sharing the highlight reel with so that your face doesn't drop off when it happens in real-time.

Have fun with it. Make predictions for scorers and/or the eventuality of shootout candidates. Mute the tv and do your own play-by-play (recommended for some games that don't even have such a conflict, but are only featured on a certain channel with annoying announcers). Create a drinking game*.

Allow for a little grudge period. Robyn Regehr isn't very well-liked by Habs' fans, even if Aaron Downey and Matt D'Agostini are alive and well. However, he is a solid defenseman and generally awesome the other 364 days of the year. You don't have to like what happens during the game, and you can frown a little afterwards, but then again, when the next Flames' game is against the Oilers and certain pesky opponents actually need to be crunched mercilessly against the boards, the spilt milk dries up pretty quickly.

*a guide for a Habs' drinking game, started last season, will be up sometime this year when all the amendments are made. Given that one of the rules was "if Kovalev's helmet falls off, take a shot," you can guess that there will be a number of subtractions, as well as a number of additions.