Sunday, December 19, 2010

Time for a snowball fight: Habs v Avs

I used to know almost nothing about the Colorado Avalanche. (It fit well with my general theme of not knowing much about hockey in general.) "They used to be the Nordiques!" and "Joe Sakic!" will only take a girl so far. I have since learned a few things, which is helpful since Sakic retired, so I'm looking forward to this game. Here are some things that I've learned:

They're good. 
They're on a 5-game winning streak, during which they beat the Blackhawks twice. What? For real? Like, the Chicago Blackhawks?

Matt Duchene is cool.
2009's third overall draft pick is having a pretty good season so far, with 13 goals. That's two more than any Hab so far this season. (Not that I'm dissing anyone. I quite like being on a team that hasn't earned a top 5 draft pick lately.) Plus, he and teammate Paul Statsny have taken the "bangity bang" song from How I Met Your Mother and turned it into a postgame celebration. I want the NHL to allow this game to end in a tie, and have their postgame dance at one end of the ice, and PK and Carey triple low fiving on the other side.

They have Tomas Fleischmann now.
In case you forgot. He's Czech and he used to play for Washington, so we like him.

They also have Ryan O'Byrne now.
Remember, we gave him to them? And now they're good? Yeah. I know. I told you all he should either play or be traded, and "play him" is looking a little less crazy than it used to.
His stats are unbelievable now (this article describes his plus-13 ranking as "shiny" and I'm going to act like that's a Firefly reference). He gets tons of ice time. And, as a result, he likes Colorado so much that he's become a full-time mountain man.

Some people might think he's dissing Montreal, but really, he's just speaking the truth. If you don't think this city is tough to play in, then you need your head checked. Also you're missing the point of this video (which I found courtesy of Heather Engel): his beard. Look at that beard. It just makes him look bigger. He lives in the Rockies year-round now. I bet he spends all of his spare time chopping wood and fighting Sasquatch. Maybe he should be the subject of the next TV show I pitch: Ryan O'Byrne, Mountain Man. Look for special guest appearances by Wolverine and lots of flannel shirts.

Puck drops at 8. No word on whether all the players' sticks were whittled by Ryan O'Byrne in his spare time, or if it's composite as usual.

1 comment:

  1. I just want to be sure you know that that is really a Trashmen song re-worded...?


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