This was supposed to be my Stanley Cup Final Plus/Minus. But then everything happened.
PLUS
+ All the great citizens of Vancouver who got together and cleaned up their city after the riots. + Ryan Kesler for trying to play his ass off in the Stanley Cup Final, even though he was obviously injured. + Dear Jon Hamm: Thank you for showing up at the NHL Awards, and then calling Tim Thomas' mustache a "modifed Ron Swanson." + Andrei Kostitsyn, Mathieu Darche, Max Pacioretty, David Desharnais, and Andrei Markov (!) are all re-upped for next year. AK and Darche for one year, Pac and Desharnais for two, and Marky for three - does this mean Josh Gorges will sign for at least 4 years? Someone please say yes.
MINUS
- All the idiots in Vancouver who thought it was a good idea to destroy the city. I know not everyone who was there is at fault, but take it from a Montrealer: Riots are never a good idea. - I've seen worse hits than the one on Nathan Horton, but what was Aaron Rome even thinking? Hitting someone like that in the Stanley Cup Final is never a good idea. - You all know how I feel about all these Philadelphia trades. Drafting Sean Couturier didn't help. - Devin Setoguchi JUST signed a new contract with the Sharks. And got traded just over 24 hours later. Why? And can they un-trade him? - Dear Mark Messier: ZDENO CHARA IS YOUR CAPTAIN OF THE YEAR? Really? REALLY? - (Last minute addition) Oh, and my last warning to people STILL saying "Sedin sisters" wasn't enough? Seriously. You're just being an idiot. Stop. Or please watch some other sport.
Wow, this entire Plus/Minus could have turned into a Weekend Update-style "Really?!?" I'm not sure how I restrained myself.
Looks like this offseason won't be as boring as most people expected it to be.
At first I was in denial about all this, just happy to watch such great hockey and take my bad-luck Josh Gorges T-shirt out of mothballs. But now there's only two teams and one playoff series left, and that's it. No more hockey. I don't like this one bit. But I digress...
PLUS
+ I saw a profile of Roberto Luongo on RAI last week. (RAI, by the way, is probably the biggest TV channel in Italy.) I know, it's basically just Italians patting themselves on the back for the success of their emigrants, but the interviews were pretty good. It felt like more than just a fluff piece, and it was cool to see something hockey-related on Italian TV. Trust me, that doesn't happen every day. + Guy Boucher. I don't know how often we can give this man a Plus, but we look forward to finding out next season. He knows exactly how to run his team, and he isn't scared of anything. + Patrick Marleau has been on fire this round. I guess Jeremy Roenick should criticize players more often, if it means they start producing like Marleau did this round. + The Under Armour commercial featuring, of all people, Tyler Seguin. He's one of the few Bruins that I don't completely hate and wish dull skates upon, but I never would have pegged him for a total badass.
+ Speaking of badass, Steven Stamkos didn't even seem to care that his face got cut open during Game 7.
+ Ryan Kesler was injured in Game 5, and still scored a last-minute (literally) game-tying goal, which led to a series-winning OT. Can they please start mass-producing this man? + Uh, Teddy Purcell? You're awesome. + Okay, okay, I begrudgingly congratulate Nathan Horton on his series-winning goal skills. But I still don't like his face.
MINUS
- I miss the Hamilton Bulldogs already. (But I'm proud that they forced a Game 7 after being down 3-0 in the series.)
- I think I might have seen a couple of people on Twitter making "Sedin sisters" jokes. Still? Really? Morons. - Nathan Horton gets a Minus to go with his Plus: I probably wouldn't nitpick about this if he weren't a Bruin and there were more teams left in the race, but he should leave the fans alone. What's with the water-squirting and stuff?
One round left. I know not everyone is happy to see the Bruins and Canucks in the Finals, but let's enjoy the hockey while there are still games to watch.
I'm apparently terrible at writing my post-playoff Plus/Minuses on time. What should I even write about? These teams aren't the Habs.
PLUS
+ Repeating myself already, and I haven't written anything yet. I already congratulated the Tampa Bay Lightning on sweeping the Capitals. I'm saying it again. As much as I like Washington, it was a relief to see them lose to a HIHW-approved team and coach.
+ What a great round for goalies, including but not limited to Niemi and Roloson, who did everything their teams needed them to do. (I remember wondering why Steve Yzerman decided to buy Roloson back in January. I don't wonder that anymore.)
+ Hell of a series between San Jose and Detroit. Just when it seemed like nothing could top the first round of the playoffs, the second-round matchups proved to be a perfect fit.
+ Devin Setoguchi was something else this round.
MINUS
- The Canadiens weren't in this round.
- It's really a shame that we've seen the last of Shea Weber's beard. I'm sure Paul Mara shed a tear for it when Nashville lost Game 6.
- Dear Philadelphia Flyers: Wow, you must really hate Montreal if you couldn't even win one game to avenge us.
- Dear Daniel Carcillo: I know that guys say really gross things when they're talking in private, but when you say something on a public forum, you have to watch yourself.
- Because I can't write this post without saying this: We're sending prayers and condolences to the family, friends, and fans of Derek Boogaard. What a shocking, unjust death. No one should die that young.
Hopefully the next Plus/Minus will end on a more positive note.
Best of luck to the four teams still in the race for the Stanley Cup.
Playoffs start soon, so it's time for us to introduce the third annual Hab It Her Way NHL Playoff Bracket. Yay!
I try to find a theme for the random pictures I use for every matchup. This year, I tried to find common ground between the teams playing each other in the first round. We're not that different, after all.
In the West:
The Canucks and Blackhawks meet early in the playoffs this year. I always love this series, but it'll be particularly tough to root for one team since both Roberto Luongo and Corey Crawford are local-boy goalies.
The Los Angeles Kings and San Jose Sharks are both from California. That's all I got.
Detroit and Phoenix are lucky enough to have wonderful, gentlemanly captains with quite a few seasons' worth of wisdom. That's MISTER Nick Lidstrom and Shane Doan to you!
Anaheim-Nashville might just be the battle of Young Guys That Nobody Wanted As Habs Except Me. Sorry, Kyle Chipchura and Sergei Kostitsyn. (Is there a way to sneak Matt D'Agostini or Greg Stewart into this too?)
In the East:
The Washington Capitals and New York Rangers introduced some spiffy new throwback jerseys this year. That's something I know a little bit about.
Why not choose at least one series and focus on the players I don't like? Congratulations, Philly captain Mike Richards and Buffalo goalie Ryan Miller (if you're not still injured). You know what you did.
What do the Canadiens and Bruins have in common? Well, in case you didn't know, they hate each other.
Two teams. Two bloggers. Two beloved coaches. It's my Dan Bylsma against Czechtacular's Guy Boucher.
Click on the picture above to see the bracket full-size and you should be able to print it out quite easily! I keep track of the scores of each game, higher-seeded team on top, lower-seeded on the bottom. (I cleared that up in the MTL-BOS and LA-SJ series.)
Sometimes, you'll learn something so obvious that you had no idea why it took you so long to realize it. I had one of those revelations during the Habs-Sharks game. Considering how tired I was from an early work day, I'm surprised I could even fathom it. But Czechtacular's old friend Bhavna only had to say one thing: "Joe Thornton is Canada."
I almost immediately understood. It makes perfect sense. I couldn't talk about anything else for the rest of the period (sorry, Habs). The more you think about what makes Joe Thornton great, the more you realize that he possesses all the qualities that make Canada great.
Obviously, the whole hockey thing.
He's won a bunch of stuff (Stanley Cup forthcoming, but not until the Habs win another one, please). Joe Thornton is hockey, and hockey is Canada.
Jumbo Joe is huge.
My research tells me he's 6'4" but he looks at least two feet taller than that. Like Canada, Joe Thornton has coasts. I tried to find out whether he spans multiple time zones but didn't find any proof.
He has a beard.
...This one made a little more sense when I first came up with it, tired from work and trying to concentrate on the game. It still makes sense, right? Right?
Something about forests. It's like a forest.
Nature's beard!
Or it makes him look even more like a lumberjack than he already does. Which just brings me back to forests.
He makes his living in the States.
Many of the best Canadians do. It's how we know they're really famous: they're paid in green money.
He's a pacifist badass.
Yes, it is possible to be a pacifist and a badass mo fo. That's what Canada is about. He'll hit hard or defend his teammates if he needs to, but he hasn't engaged in that much unnecessary violence lately.
pictured: not his actual brother.
He has lots of brothers.
Being Canadian is like being part of a huge family. I guess it's a byproduct of outsiders always telling us things like "You're from Montreal? I have a cousin who's getting her degree at a university near Toronto!" It's the thing that keeps us all connected whether we like it or not, like some sort of national DNA.
He knows a lot about beer.
I mean, I'm not 100% sure on this, but think about it. Wouldn't Joe Thornton know a lot about beer?
This picture had a watermark that said "Don't steal me"... I cropped it out.
He apologizes a lot. And he laughs a lot.
It's what we do best as Canadians. Sorry, it's true.
He can make us laugh.
As I just said, laughter is very Canadian. Joe loves to crack jokes and has made a running gag out of his apparent refusal to wear a shirt in postgame interviews.
Big, badass, funny, laid-back... Honestly, you guys, Joe Thornton IS Canada. He just is.
Yes, ladies and gents, the dude who scored the OT goal that won a gold medal gets a little extra time off to polish it. Or, maybe, to pack up some boxes and learn to make his own sandwiches.
And yes, the team everyone questioned (even me a little bit, last summer, when prompted by Global's sports news for my expert analysis) is going to the Eastern Conference Finals for the first time since 1993. (So I guess I haven't missed much, because I vaguely remember the Habs winning the Cup while I decided between magenta and fuschia crayons. How times, and crayons, have changed.)
PLUS
Note: Tomas Plekanec is not celebrating National Hug A Giant Day
+ WE WON ROUND 2. Conference finals? Is this for real?
+ San Jose has seen one of their talented young forwards go from "Little Joe" to "The Big Pavelski." At one point, he was leading the league in playoff goals.
+ Until he got ourscored by our very own Mike Cammalleri.
+ Jaro.
+ Everyone who has made a T-shirt with the Halak stop sign on it. They're pretty awesome. I saw one in the window of Rock & Rebel in Cours Mont-Royal, so you can get it custom-printed on a T-shirt. So far it doesn't seem to be available on their website.
+ File this under "postseason praise for Kirk Muller."
+ Proof that the playoffs are more important than the regular season: Hal Gill, Maxim Lapierre, and Jacques Martin deserving more praise recently than fans gave them all season.
+ Scott Gomez continues to crack me up, the most recent example being this photobomb:
+ I'm going to sound so mean here, but I'm actually quite glad that this playoff series has caused some more Crosby-haters to come out of the woodwork. And I'm kind of happy that my team made him cry. (What? I promised full disclosure!)
+ That being said, Josh Gorges did a great job of staving off Crosby.
MINUS
Man discovers fire. City covers its face in shame.
- Matt Cooke. His jackassery needs no further explaining.
- Sami Salo might have busted a ball. I'm a girl and even I'm wincing at the thought of that.
- Our Habs getting injured. It sucks. I'm glad that things are starting to pick up.
- My friend Corina, who is probably not reading this because she got offended at my Crosby comments in Plus, is very glad that the Blackhawks beat the Canucks. But it sucks for Vancouver's players, who have been great so far, and it sucks for the Green Men.
- To the NHL Live host who still can't pronounce "Cammalleri".
- I hate scalpers in general, but the fact that there are already almost 200 postings on Craigslist for overpriced Round 3 tickets is ridiculous. (Even worse is that some of them are being sold by people who think this series is being played by the "Canadian" and the "Phillies")
- Finally, if you broke a window or stole something after Game 7, can you please reply in the comments telling me exactly what kind of idiot you are? I'm all for partying and stuff, but come on. Is this wartime or something? These morons have got to stop breaking windows for no reason. Thanks to them, Games 1 and 2 of the Philly series won't be broadcast at the Bell - which was something I've thought for ages would be a great idea, and I missed my chance because tickets sold out before I was sure I could make it there, and now you've maybe ruined my chances of seeing what it's like to fill a stadium without a single athlete in it.
NEITHER HERE NOR THERE
The new Georges Laraque commercial. Filmed between dog walks and plugging his raw vegan restaurant on Off The Record.
No, I don't have an explanation for it. I've been trying to explain it since Wednesday and no dice.
We're going to have a stellar Round 3. I'm sure of it, even if I'm not sure that the people scalping their tickets have ever read a newspaper or watched a hockey game before.
(I'm aware that the second round has now begun, and this has been a work-in-progress for a while... I had no idea when to post this. Go Sharks! Or Red Wings!)
A hell of a week round, this was. What DIDN'T happen? TV is gearing up for sweeps, I spotted a man who looked like he might have been Larry Robinson (maybe), I spotted a man who looked like he might have been Paul Mara (but with short beard and longer hair... I almost spoke to him but his beard wasn't "super epic and unmistakeable" as ~czechtacular would say), I went to the amazing Olympic parade and touched a women's hockey gold medal and spoke ever so briefly to a Stanley Cup winner, I had a great birthday during which the Canadiens were not knocked out of the playoffs, and my #1 team eliminated the Eastern Conference's #1 team. Thus, this week's Plus Minus is equally huge.
BETTER THAN HAVING A PARADE ON YOUR BIRTHDAY + It goes without saying that the Habs in general have made me prouder than a valedictorian's mommy at graduation: a solid PK, a stronger, more defensive outing in Game 5, a mind-blowing game 6, and an awesome Game 7.
+ Is it scandalous if I say that I approve of putting Carey Price in net for two games against the Caps? Think about it: those games gave Halak the rest he needed to be superhuman again, and proved that Price has still got it. + Dan Boyle made the most embarrassing mistake a hockey player could make, and then compensated beautifully with a fantastic goal the following game. + The Canadiens organization has a great initiative in letsretirethesejerseys.com. Instead of just sounding like poor little rich boys moaning that everyone's buying cheap jerseys, the website is informative, telling you how to spot a counterfeit jersey and explaining why you shouldn't buy one - shady labour practices and potential ties to organized crime, and the incentives of coupons and trade-ins certainly don't hurt (warning: they expire April 30th). The rest of the league has taken note. + Thanks to Friday's Olympic athlete parade, I'd like to reiterate how great it is to see awesome, talented, gracious athletes like Canada's 2010 Olympians. Aside from the men's hockey team, Olympic athletes don't get much exposure outside of the Games, but their hard work warrants it. They had a great crowd cheering for them, and I was happy to be in that crowd. (Except when that old man hit me in the chest. Gross.) + Our buddies over at TheCheckingLine ran a great liveblog on Friday... more of a chat than a liveblog, but when fans are having this much fun, who cares about semantics? + After Game 7, Brooks Laich saw a fan and her daughter waiting for roadside assistance (by the highway, in the dark), got out of his car, and changed a tire for them.
WORSE THAN PATRICK KANE'S MULLET
- Poor Eric Belanger. I don't think I like the guy very much, but he lost seven teeth in one game. And he pulled at least one of those out by himself. Hockey players are tough, but there's a limit. He gets a plus, though, for sheer badassery. - The recent demonizing of Alexander Ovechkin, especially by Habs fans. Sure, he sprayed some snow on a kid and didn't even pat him on the head as he skated by. Sure, he didn't give some other kid an autograph. Sure, it's kind of a bad thing that these two things happened in the same week, but it doesn't necessarily make him a bad guy. It's completely unnecessary backlash. (Heck, my request for a picture with Scott Niedermayer was refused on my birthday, and I don't mind. I'm sure I'm not the first person who's asked him for something, and I won't be the last.) - Spacek is still sick? Where did he catch this thing? Is it biological warfare?
- Ron McLean's response to a spandex-clad Green Girl in his studio is... ew. That's all I have to say, is "ew.' - Is there anyone in sports journalism more petulant than Jack Todd? The Habs forced a Game 6 on home ice against the league's best team. And all Jack Todd discussed on Monday was Scott Gomez's face and Carey Price's fans. Really, that's all the material he had? You'd think Canwest would start cutting unnecessary costs in these crappy economic times, and Negative Jones' column/bitchfest would be one of them. But no, he's still getting paid to write, if you can call it that.
