I'm apparently terrible at writing my post-playoff Plus/Minuses on time. What should I even write about? These teams aren't the Habs.
PLUS
+ Repeating myself already, and I haven't written anything yet. I already congratulated the Tampa Bay Lightning on sweeping the Capitals. I'm saying it again. As much as I like Washington, it was a relief to see them lose to a HIHW-approved team and coach.
+ What a great round for goalies, including but not limited to Niemi and Roloson, who did everything their teams needed them to do. (I remember wondering why Steve Yzerman decided to buy Roloson back in January. I don't wonder that anymore.)
+ Hell of a series between San Jose and Detroit. Just when it seemed like nothing could top the first round of the playoffs, the second-round matchups proved to be a perfect fit.
+ Devin Setoguchi was something else this round.
MINUS
- The Canadiens weren't in this round.
- It's really a shame that we've seen the last of Shea Weber's beard. I'm sure Paul Mara shed a tear for it when Nashville lost Game 6.
- Dear Philadelphia Flyers: Wow, you must really hate Montreal if you couldn't even win one game to avenge us.
- Dear Daniel Carcillo: I know that guys say really gross things when they're talking in private, but when you say something on a public forum, you have to watch yourself.
- Because I can't write this post without saying this: We're sending prayers and condolences to the family, friends, and fans of Derek Boogaard. What a shocking, unjust death. No one should die that young.
Hopefully the next Plus/Minus will end on a more positive note.
Best of luck to the four teams still in the race for the Stanley Cup.
Playoffs start soon, so it's time for us to introduce the third annual Hab It Her Way NHL Playoff Bracket. Yay!
I try to find a theme for the random pictures I use for every matchup. This year, I tried to find common ground between the teams playing each other in the first round. We're not that different, after all.
In the West:
The Canucks and Blackhawks meet early in the playoffs this year. I always love this series, but it'll be particularly tough to root for one team since both Roberto Luongo and Corey Crawford are local-boy goalies.
The Los Angeles Kings and San Jose Sharks are both from California. That's all I got.
Detroit and Phoenix are lucky enough to have wonderful, gentlemanly captains with quite a few seasons' worth of wisdom. That's MISTER Nick Lidstrom and Shane Doan to you!
Anaheim-Nashville might just be the battle of Young Guys That Nobody Wanted As Habs Except Me. Sorry, Kyle Chipchura and Sergei Kostitsyn. (Is there a way to sneak Matt D'Agostini or Greg Stewart into this too?)
In the East:
The Washington Capitals and New York Rangers introduced some spiffy new throwback jerseys this year. That's something I know a little bit about.
Why not choose at least one series and focus on the players I don't like? Congratulations, Philly captain Mike Richards and Buffalo goalie Ryan Miller (if you're not still injured). You know what you did.
What do the Canadiens and Bruins have in common? Well, in case you didn't know, they hate each other.
Two teams. Two bloggers. Two beloved coaches. It's my Dan Bylsma against Czechtacular's Guy Boucher.
Click on the picture above to see the bracket full-size and you should be able to print it out quite easily! I keep track of the scores of each game, higher-seeded team on top, lower-seeded on the bottom. (I cleared that up in the MTL-BOS and LA-SJ series.)
Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge fan of The Price Is Right. (I'm not even kidding, I make fun of the people who don't understand the games, and I freak out when someone wins a car.) I'm just not sure that a dull, pretaped segment on a daytime game show is the best way to get people to watch the Winter Classic if they aren't already hockey fans.
Last year, watching Marc Savard and Scott Hartnell was somewhat painful, so my expectations were pretty low for this year. I was right. Jeremy Roenick injected a bit of life into the showcase presentation due to the fact that he isn't as dull as the average hockey player. (And some people complain about players with too mcuh personality. Go figure.) Alexander Ovechkin looked a little bored reading off the cue cards, and Sidney Crosby looked more uncomfortable than Brian Gionta did that time he had to speak French. Maybe, if we're trying to bring in a new audience for NHL hockey, we shouldn't be exposing the fact that the league's biggest star isn't good at talking on camera. (You know who is, though? Jonathan Toews. I'm just saying.)
They don't seem to have that problem on HBO's 24/7, which I'm enjoying very much. So I'm not going to complain about the way this game is promoted on cable. Network TV, however, is a whole other story.
First of all, if you want to promote The Bridgestone NHL Winter Classic, January 1st on NBC!!! why are you on CBS? Why aren't you taking advantage of the fact that NBC viewers already know what Heinz Field looks like?
Maybe you've heard of it... highest-rated show for the 15th consecutive Sunday
(despite the worst opening theme ever)
I know NBC wouldn't go the whole nine and make Ovechkin guest-star as a Russian henchman on Chuck, and that both teams couldn't team up with The Lonely Island for a video called "I'm On A Boat (Going To Heinz Field)", but a really short spot (or a series of commercials) on Sunday Night Football would do the trick. Look, I even wrote a poorly formatted script and everything!
EXT. HEINZ FIELD - DAY. BEN ROETHLISBERGER and a few of his PITTSBURGH STEELERS teammates are on the sidelines during practice, drinking from their water bottles or tossing balls around between drills.
TROY POLAMALU
Who are those guys? Hockey players?
The entire WASHINGTON CAPITALS team, wearing their jerseys, walk on to the field in slow motion.
(I'm aware that the second round has now begun, and this has been a work-in-progress for a while... I had no idea when to post this. Go Sharks! Or Red Wings!)
A hell of a week round, this was. What DIDN'T happen? TV is gearing up for sweeps, I spotted a man who looked like he might have been Larry Robinson (maybe), I spotted a man who looked like he might have been Paul Mara (but with short beard and longer hair... I almost spoke to him but his beard wasn't "super epic and unmistakeable" as ~czechtacular would say), I went to the amazing Olympic parade and touched a women's hockey gold medal and spoke ever so briefly to a Stanley Cup winner, I had a great birthday during which the Canadiens were not knocked out of the playoffs, and my #1 team eliminated the Eastern Conference's #1 team. Thus, this week's Plus Minus is equally huge.
BETTER THAN HAVING A PARADE ON YOUR BIRTHDAY + It goes without saying that the Habs in general have made me prouder than a valedictorian's mommy at graduation: a solid PK, a stronger, more defensive outing in Game 5, a mind-blowing game 6, and an awesome Game 7.
+ Is it scandalous if I say that I approve of putting Carey Price in net for two games against the Caps? Think about it: those games gave Halak the rest he needed to be superhuman again, and proved that Price has still got it. + Dan Boyle made the most embarrassing mistake a hockey player could make, and then compensated beautifully with a fantastic goal the following game. + The Canadiens organization has a great initiative in letsretirethesejerseys.com. Instead of just sounding like poor little rich boys moaning that everyone's buying cheap jerseys, the website is informative, telling you how to spot a counterfeit jersey and explaining why you shouldn't buy one - shady labour practices and potential ties to organized crime, and the incentives of coupons and trade-ins certainly don't hurt (warning: they expire April 30th). The rest of the league has taken note. + Thanks to Friday's Olympic athlete parade, I'd like to reiterate how great it is to see awesome, talented, gracious athletes like Canada's 2010 Olympians. Aside from the men's hockey team, Olympic athletes don't get much exposure outside of the Games, but their hard work warrants it. They had a great crowd cheering for them, and I was happy to be in that crowd. (Except when that old man hit me in the chest. Gross.) + Our buddies over at TheCheckingLine ran a great liveblog on Friday... more of a chat than a liveblog, but when fans are having this much fun, who cares about semantics? + After Game 7, Brooks Laich saw a fan and her daughter waiting for roadside assistance (by the highway, in the dark), got out of his car, and changed a tire for them.
WORSE THAN PATRICK KANE'S MULLET
- Poor Eric Belanger. I don't think I like the guy very much, but he lost seven teeth in one game. And he pulled at least one of those out by himself. Hockey players are tough, but there's a limit. He gets a plus, though, for sheer badassery. - The recent demonizing of Alexander Ovechkin, especially by Habs fans. Sure, he sprayed some snow on a kid and didn't even pat him on the head as he skated by. Sure, he didn't give some other kid an autograph. Sure, it's kind of a bad thing that these two things happened in the same week, but it doesn't necessarily make him a bad guy. It's completely unnecessary backlash. (Heck, my request for a picture with Scott Niedermayer was refused on my birthday, and I don't mind. I'm sure I'm not the first person who's asked him for something, and I won't be the last.) - Spacek is still sick? Where did he catch this thing? Is it biological warfare?
- Ron McLean's response to a spandex-clad Green Girl in his studio is... ew. That's all I have to say, is "ew.' - Is there anyone in sports journalism more petulant than Jack Todd? The Habs forced a Game 6 on home ice against the league's best team. And all Jack Todd discussed on Monday was Scott Gomez's face and Carey Price's fans. Really, that's all the material he had? You'd think Canwest would start cutting unnecessary costs in these crappy economic times, and Negative Jones' column/bitchfest would be one of them. But no, he's still getting paid to write, if you can call it that.
Huzzah! My laptop has found some Wi-Fi. And it's a hell of a game. A few end-of-period notes.
Manicure, consider yourself ruined.
So, after the first period:
As usual, we love our #21 and our #46. (And even those who don't... well, right now they do. Seriously. Check your Facebook and your Twitter if you don't believe me.)
A few scrapes during these first 20 minutes. First, José Théodore's ego got a little bruised. It must suck to get pulled after less than 10 minutes of play, but I guess this just wasn't his night. He pulled a little fit of frustration, but it wasn't as bad as the heinous bitch-fit I saw from J-S Giguère last winter. Then, Roman Hamrlik defended his net just a little too well, but didn't seem to sustain a major head injury from it. I'm a little more worried about Markov, who took a puck to the leg (either his knee or his shin). He looked like he was in pain, and a lot of people think he's already injured (he's been playing a little bit less superhumanly).
Watch out Habs, the Caps are getting it together and Ovie is angry.
After the second:
Mike Cammalleri caused a couple of penalties, but then got one of his own. Karma?
Andrei Kostitsyn is credited with two goals but only scores one. The Caps are only credited with one goal but really scored two.
Oh, and by the way, readers wearing hats, please take them off and throw them for Andrei (the "Belarusian Bomber"). It should have been raining hats.
Varlamov's earning his keep and Halak is... do I even need to end this sentence? Fantastical. Now if only Hal Gill could defend our net and screen the other one.
After the third:
I can't believe all that happened in just 20 minutes. I need a nap, a Zantac and maybe some electrolytes. Can I get a hit of that Gatorade, Jaro?
Well, it took five periods, but Ovechkin got his goal. It was pretty dirty, but Ovie gets the job done.
Speaking of Ovie, he tried to get up in Gionta's business after a huge, confusion around Varlamov's net. But no one messes with Brian Gionta, so we saw the resurrection of Scott Gomez, New York Ranger. He struggled a little, took down Tom Poti and skated to his 5-minute penalty, squinting like Clint Eastwood. (I seriously never thought I'd compare Gomez to Eastwood. Like, ever. Appreciate it, Scotty.)
Um, a whole bunch of goals, a moment of Plekanec/Cammalleri happiness (yes, even the toughest of athletes will hug like BFFs), and the game tied up at 5-5.
Jaro was not a happy camper by the end of this period. Maybe I should ask someone else for Gatorade.
Okay, next comes overtime. Will my stomach stop making noise?
Overtime
Over as quickly as it began. Backstrom gets puck, puts it in net, posts a hat trick. No time to even bite a nail. I guess Backstrom cares about my manicure?
If the chances of seeing a hat trick are 1 in 18, does that mean that this game has exhausted all hat tricks for the remainder of the playoffs? Keep in mind I'm bad at math.
Star names you: 1. Backstrom 2. Andrei Kostitsyn, the Belarusian Bomber 3. Ovechkin
Every now and then, a team will play a game that says a lot about them as a team, and as a franchise.
Last night's 6-5 OT win against the Washington Capitals was that kind of game.
The Canadiens proved that there's a lot to be proud of. Our prospect development might be seeing a turnaround, as Tom Pyatt and David Desharnais recorded their first NHL points. Our small forwards (that ever-popular joke material) played big. Even Scott Gomez got in on the game. You know it's a special night when Gomez scores a goal. The team proved that when they really get things going, they can overcome pretty much any challenge.
It was also the proof, once and for all, that some idiots will never be happy with this team. They didn't seem to notice that the Canadiens ended the Capitals' 14-game winning streak, a feat that not even the reigning Stanley Cup champions were able to accomplish. I'm not even sure these people even know the Habs won. Hell, some of them (I won't name names, but they're people who should know better) couldn't even stop player-hating long enough to acknowledge that their home team won. Two points, hello? Isn't that a good thing? They couldn't even set aside the so-called "goalie controversy" long enough to realize that Jaroslav Halak might need some rest, and that it's maybe not a good idea to have him start every game before our Philadelphia aller-retour, tire himself out, then jump on a plane to Vancouver, be Slovakia's go-to guy for the Olympics, and come back and play some more. Even if this was the case, there'd be more bellyaching no matter where the Canadiens wind up in the standings come season's end.
People like this are exactly the reason why we haven't won the Stanley Cup in over a decade. There, I said it. You know what else I'm going to say? Congratulations, Habs, on an exciting win despite a slew of injuries and a really tough opponent.
This Saturday, basketball legend Charles Barkley will be hosting late-night mainstay Saturday Night Live. Yes, he's this season's token sports-related host. This is his second time hosting - he also had the honour back in 1993, when he was relevant. (Seriously. When's the last time Charles Barkley made news? A year ago when he got busted for speeding, and told the cop he was chasing after a, um, lady of the evening? Apparently he was recently on The Jay Leno Show, but that's the opposite of news. Other than that, all I hear about is Kenan Thompson's impersonation of him on... SNL. So by these criteria, Kathie Lee Gifford will probably host the season finale. Oh joy.)
I don't think a hockey player has been SNL's appointed athlete host of the season since Wayne Gretzky in 1989... I've never seen the episode but apparently I'm not missing much. I started thinking... who in the NHL today would make a decent Saturday Night Live host? And thus a new feature (maybe, if you guys like it) was born...
The Hab It Her Way Top 5!
Today's list:
(in no particular order)
Top 5 Hockey Players Who Might Not Totally Screw Up As Host of SNL
Alex Ovechkin: It's not just any athlete that gets to host SNL. The chosen athletic host of the season is usually a pretty big deal. Ovechkin is the biggest name in hockey and the most exciting player in the NHL by far. He's famous, successful, and skillful, and he loves attention. He's actually an awful lot like LeBron James, who was a pretty good host. Ovie would have fun hosting SNL. He'd be game for anything and that's good news since athletes don't have much acting experience. His accent might get in the way of playing a wide variety of characters, but again, he's not an actor so whatever. And if you're worried about his mastery of the English language, I'll just remind you that Paris Hilton has hosted the show. Sketch suggestion: He'd probably have fun pretending to breakdance or something during a "What's Up With That" sketch... they seem to be quite popular these days. Or I see him as a guest on "Rivista Della Televisione" ripping on Vinny Vedecci in Russian.
Mike Green is a good guy and he's got presence on camera, as proven by his random Geico commercial. (If you think it's bad then you clearly don't watch enough TV.) He gets points for likeability, and he's somewhat well-known outside of hockey since he plays for the Caps - not, like, the St. Louis Blues, and visibility is pretty important. Sketch suggestion: In my head, Mike Green has mad rap skills. He'd be Andy Samberg's new best friend... Okay, that's probably not true, much as I might wish it were. He's got a very sweet, everyman quality about him, so I think he'd have fun getting annoyed by Kristen Wiig's irritating character Sue who can't keep good news to herself.
Hal Gill is funny. Many of his teammates have attested to it. Anyone who's seen his ode to Randy Johnson knows it. I figured I couldn't make my first Top 5 without putting a Hab on the list, and I think #75 would be my go-to guy. Carey may have been on Cabbie, and Gomez might have real acting experience, but when it comes to comedy you've got to go big or go home. I'm going with Gill. Sketch suggestion: He could play Gilly's dad or something (bad name pun!), thus putting an end to the insanely repetitive Gilly sketches. Sorry.
Like Mike Green, Jarome Iginla has personality and charisma. He's quite at ease on camera, as we've seen in commercials, and his NHL Award acceptance speeches are generally good. Why does this matter, you ask? Jarome may be more serious and gracious in his speeches, but the audience pays attention. Often people who can work the room at an awards show do very well on SNL... don't believe me? What if I dropped names like Tina Fey, Justin Timberlake, and 14-time host Alec Baldwin? Or 15-time host Steve Martin, who's been on the show so often and left such an impression on viewers that most people think he was actually a cast member? So yeah, Jarome should do okay. If he doesn't, he's patient enough to shake it off and make the best of things. Sketch suggestion: If "Bronx Beat" were still on SNL, Jarome would probably have fun laughing at Maya Rudolph while she alternately called him cute and got all emotional about her kids.
Tim Thomas appears to be quite beloved by his American fans, probably because he's good at what he does (hurts to admit that) and because he's basically a Bruce Springsteen song on skates. The network would LOVE him: an award-winning American-born goalie playing for an Original Six team in the States, who just braved the Winter Classic and is going to the Olympics (this winter on NBC!). But why, do you ask, would a Habs fan want to see her rival goalie spend 90 minutes on her favourite show? Yes, I know, it's total sacrilege. Well, Thomas basically cemented his spot on this list with one sentence:
Warning: huge Tim Thomas face in HD comin' at ya
It was meant as a joke, and came out unbelievably funny but in a terribly mean way. He can probably handle comedy. Sketch suggestion: I'm not really sure why, but I think nothing would be funnier than seeing the massive goaltender in drag. Make it happen, NBC.
I'm giving an honourable mention to Jeremy Roenick, who retired so he doesn't count as an "NHL player" anymore, but let's face it. He likes attention, he likes entertaining people, and he likes talking. A lot. If he were to ever find out that SNL might be interested in calling on a hockey player to host, he'd probably move in to Studio 8H.
**pictures and video don't belong to me, obviously, except for that little header bar i constructed from pictures that don't belong to me. this is only my top 5, and we might go for a "she said, she said" thing so top 5 actually means top 10 since there are two of us!
We didn't quite see enough of this... and I hope my saying that didn't totally jinx us for November 28th.
So, a team weakened by injuries that's been doing okay played a team weakened by injuries that is the Washington Capitals.
Oh, and also Scott Gomez disappeared at some point in the third period, and if this is another injury I'm going to scream, even though without Brian Gionta he's kind of like a sandwich without meat. (He's bread... and don't get me wrong, bread is awesome, but fans cannot live on bread alone.)
A few highlights:
Even though he's just back from injury, Ryan O'Byrne looks like he's back on track, and played pretty well, especially considering that the last time he played his linemate, Marc-Andre Bergeron, wasn't even a Hab yet.
Georges Laraque's first game in, oh, centuries saw him getting into fisticuffs with John Erskine, and how.
Alexander Ovechkin appeared to almost be playing it safe; it only makes sense since he came back from injury this week, but Ovie is not one to play it safe.
Our second line. That seems to be one of the constants on our team: a second line that produces when they play well. Mike Green's attempted punch to Tomas Plekanec's head, I think, proved that. However, I sincerely hope that Green doesn't try that again, for his own good.
Birthday boy Max Pacioretty is definitely continuing his return to form (despite that unfortunate miss). His skill and speed are going to be very useful if the injury fairy keeps kidnapping his teammates. (By the way, Max shares his birthday with Super Dave Osborne and a Beastie Boy.
Tom Pyatt's first-period breakaway and almost-goal*. I would have loved to see that puck go in, but I say that about every breakaway that doesn't light that lamp.
We did, however, draw a few penalties that shouldn't have happened. I don't quite understand what happened with Gorges pushing David Steckel, causing a domino effect and toppling Carey Price, so let's not go into that. I would have thought that Guillaume Latendresse wouldn't try to stupidly hook someone two games after very nearly getting benched, but I'm the first person to admit that Latendresse (presumably) knows a whole lot more about hockey than I do. Maxim Lapierre's penalty at the end of the third could have ended badly, but instead caused nothing more than an impromptu Canadiens garage sale with sticks and helmets falling all over the place during the PK.
Now while a wicked 21st birthday for Patches and a postgame celebration are in order, let's hope that this postgame high and traveling back home don't tire our Habs out too much because the Red Wings might be desperate tomorrow. At least we'll have home ice advantage and the announcing talents of Michel Lacroix, who doesn't sound like my laptop when he speaks. (They couldn't find a better orator in all of Washington, D.C., capital of the United States? Seriously?)
*Almost-Goal: abbreviated "ALG," a term that is not yet officially in NHL lexicon, whose success rate lies somewhere between a regular shot on goal and a goal. It's almost a goal. For further examples, see Christopher Higgins near the end of last season.
