Thursday, February 2, 2012

Top 5: Reasons why I should be GM of the Canadiens

Since people have been talking about firing Gauthier for a while...


I would sign Carey Price to a long-term contract right now. Or a short-term contract. Whatever he wants, really, as long as he comes back. I'd buy him a horse if he wanted one.

I would be honest. I wouldn't try to cover up my decisions or spin the truth to stroke a new player's ego. I would just tell things like they are. If a player is brought in to help fill up a roster that's been depleted by injuries, I would say so. I would disclose terms of the agreement, because "club policy" means nothing when player salaries are readily available on TSN or Capgeek. A little honesty would be a refreshing change from the spin doctors and clich├ęs.

I would be honest even when the fans don't want to hear it. Uproar over an English coach or a ridiculous trade? Fans booing their own players? I'd pull a Bob Gainey and tell my fans when they're being idiots.

I would see the big picture. None of this last-minute trade deadline desperation. How well has last year's Dustin Penner deal worked out for the Kings? Not as well as it's worked out for the Denny's a few blocks from the Staples Center. I'd keep my eye on the big picture, and not give away all my team's assets for a bag of magic beans.

A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. I know that managing a sports team can be cutthroat. You've got to keep your own team afloat and avoid getting screwed over by other GM's or greedy agents. I'll mess with them if I have to. Guilt? Crying on cue? Swearing at them over the phone, in multiple languages? All in a day's work if it gets me what I want.


Obviously, I'm kidding. I've already said that I would never want to be a GM, but I'm sure there's a reason why so many people think they want to be one.

2 comments:

  1. Well, just with the first point, you're an upgrade on Gauthier!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks, Stefano! I've already started drafting his new contract, which is basically a handwritten note that says "Do you want to stay in Montreal and be a Hab next season? Yes / No (circle one)"

    ReplyDelete

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