So I've started sitting down and trying to figure things out for entire football Sundays. Yes. About 90% of this sport's games are played on the same day. I figure the best way to have a chance at knowing football even half as well as a real football fan is to have a team to cheer for.
I've had a few people encourage me to start following their favourite teams but I should probably put a little more thought into it than that. I already have my (ridiculous) criteria, I just need to find a team that fits it.
New Orleans Saints: I might as well name the defending NFL champions first, right? Even though I thought the Colts would win the Super Bowl? Drew Brees seems like a cool guy. But he should have told his buddy Reggie Bush that I don't care about Kim Kardashian. Otherwise, there are a few choice names on the team, starting with Will Smith. Yeah, it's pretty awesome that they have a guy named Will Smith. Other names include Jon Stinchcomb and Jo-Lonn Dunbar.
VERDICT: I could get jiggy with Will Smith's team, but the Kardashian connection might be a dealbreaker. They're probably not #1 team material.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Who doesn't love pirates? These guys have a pirate ship in their stadium and fire the cannons after every touchdown (proof here around 0:10). That's their major selling point. Plus, if ever I went to one of their home games, I could scour Tampa for any potential Guy Boucher merchandise or news, and Czechtacular would be very proud of me. Ronde Barber plays for them, and I wasn't even sure if he was still playing. Great names on the team include Stylez G. White, Niko Koutouvides, LeGarrette Blount, and E.J. Biggers.
Buffalo Bills: A contender because they're one of the only teams that I have merchandise for.
|I never said it was still relevant merchandise|
VERDICT: Uh, maybe not. I tried to take an interest last year when Terrell Owens was on the team and I asked my brother for a T.O. shirt every time he went to Buffalo, but I never got that shirt, so I don't really owe the Bills anything.
Jacksonville Jaguars, Cincinnati Bengals, Detroit Lions, Carolina Panthers: Going for a cat-themed team would seem like a great choice for a girl like me, whose cellphone wallpaper is a picture of her cat. But none of these teams really jumps out at me, save for maybe the Bengals. The tiger-striped uniforms are probably the flashiest and coolest in the NFL. I'd get to continue watching the larger-than-life Terrell Owens and get the bonus of his "Batman and Robin" bromance with Chad Ochocinco (who, unfortunately, was cooler pre-Dancing with the Stars). But I encountered a roadblock when I found out that someone I know, who isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, is a Bengals fan. Do I really want to be associated with fans like that guy? I'm not so sure.
VERDICT: My reputation as a crazy cat lady will probably stay out of the NFL.
Stay tuned for Part Two, in which I ramble a lot more but find a few good teams.