Rookie tries fantasy hockey.

So this is what it's like to build a team.
Except Gauthier is a vegetarian and I love chicken wings, so not really.

I recently joined a hockey pool for the first time, and learned that "fantasy hockey" isn't those dreams I have where Josh Gorges makes me waffles and we watch Arrested Development together. (Did I just blog that out loud?)

My draft was yesterday, and it was every bit as stressful as my fantasy football draft a few weeks ago. I'm guessing that all the grumbling and the yelling and the loud noises and rise in blood pressure are normal when drafting a fantasy team?

In any case, here's the lineup for Every Day I'm Byfuglien:

FORWARDS
Evgeni Malkin, Pittsburgh. He scores lots of goals and gets lots of penalties. I get points for both of those things. Plus, I was confused about whether to take him, Stamkos, Ovechkin, or Henrik Sedin. So I took the guy who tweeted a picture of his cat.

Jonathan Toews, Chicago. Because he's Jonathan Toews.

Tomas Plekanec, Montreal. I don't think I get points for faceoffs, so that's a Plus for Pleks. I have a good feeling about him this season.

Dustin Brown, Los Angeles. He's good all-around, and he's a King. I went for Brown since Doughty and Kopitar were snatched out from under me.

Andrei Kostitsyn, Montreal. Yeah, I took a gamble on Andrei. Most people don't believe in him, but he can do great things during contract seasons. And if he doesn't do a lot of scoring, he'll probably get in trouble, and I'll get points for PIMs.

He was really excited when I picked him

Shane Doan, Phoenix. So, Jarome Iginla was taken. And then two picks before I was going to take Evander Kane (the baby Jarome Iginla), he got drafted. So I took Shane Doan, who, like Iginla, is a great player and a great captain. Also, whenever I'm in doubt, I just think of what players Czechtacular likes. (I'm still her protégée, no matter what she says.)

Joe Pavelski, San Jose. He's good during the regular season, right?

Brian Gionta, Montreal. My captain. Why not?

Devin Setoguchi, Minnesota. Remember how on Friends, Chandler always went back to Janice? I think Setoguchi is my Janice. So many things have happened that should have made me stop liking him: The Sharks have lost in the playoffs when they were supposed to win the Cup. I've seen him wear Ed Hardy. He got married and didn't tell me. He joined Twitter, was boring, then quit because it was "too distracting," only to come back after he'd been traded to Minnesota. Through it all, I still like him. This isn't healthy. Don't let me down again, Devin.

DEFENSE

Brent Burns, on the fantasy hockey campaign trail

Brent Burns, San Jose. The trade to San Jose is supposed to be really good for him, right?

Nicklas Lidstrom, Detroit. He's Nick freaking Lidstrom. He's good at everything.

Jack Johnson, Los Angeles. Okay, so I got another King. He's a badass.

Cam Fowler, Anaheim. I took him because everyone says to take Cam Fowler in fantasy hockey.

UTILITY GUYS
Theo Peckham, Edmonton. He gets penalty minutes. And that mustache.

Brooks Laich, Washington. He didn't become a Hab this summer, so this is the closest I'll get to having him on my team. Should I re-name my team As You Laich It?

BENCH (OR WHATEVER "BN" STANDS FOR)
Mason Raymond, Vancouver. (aka, The Opposite of Name-Dropping) Okay, so he's broken. But when he's fixed, even if he doesn't come back 100%, he'll still be damn fast.

James Wisniewski, Columbus. He's good at hockey. I remember that much from last year. (The rest is all a blur, stained by tears over player injuries and Saku Koivu's return to the Bell Centre.)

Michael Ryder, Dallas. At first this was Teddy Purcell in Tampa Bay, but Ryder apparently had an incredible preseason and will be getting lots of ice time. Or so I'm told by someone who actually pays attention to the Dallas Stars.

GOALIES

Jonathan Quick, Los Angeles. By the time I got to this pick (second round, 16th overall, I think?) all of last year's top 5 goalies had been taken. Except maybe Tim Thomas, but I guess I forgot about him and I'm better off with no Bruins as long as fantasy hockey isn't cursed like football is, in which case I'd have drafted Brad Marchand twice just to ensure some kind of dumbass injury. But I digress. Quick would have been my backup goalie, so I took him first, thinking of that insane shutout he posted against the Red Wings last year.

Corey Crawford, Chicago. Considering how he played last season, I'm lucky to have him on my team. I feel like we should be referring to Crawford as "the next ________" but I don't know who to compare him to.

Ondrej Pavelec, Winnipeg. The ThrashJets are going to be better than they were last year, simply because they'll have fan support, and Pavelec was already really good. Also, he's Czech.

So, there you have it. A team with a punny name, filled with players who are good at hockey (right?) and who I like (except for Cam Fowler, because who's dis guy?).

Now comes the next step: figuring out how this fantasy sports thing works.

Kladno vs. Kladno, Round II

I'm not entirely sure if the issues with the carpet used to award Carey Price with October's Molson Cup before the game is what caused the entire ice surface to become World's Biggest Pinball Machine for 60 minutes, but it was the setting for a 5-4 loss to Ondrej Pavelec (him again!) and the Thrashers last night.

Being down the way they were at the end of the first period, I was almost ready to re-live the dreadful Pittsburgh game. But the offense came out to play. Cammalleri missed an opportunity and grabbed it back. Gionta broke free of whatever kryptonite has been holding him back for the last 6 or so games. And Plekanec scored a beauty against his fellow Kladno native.

...any excuse to post this, I'll admit

But as much as these guys were present, the defense was not. Jaro Spacek sometimes makes nifty plays to keep the puck in at the blueline, but more often than not he keeps letting it slip away. Mathieu Carle, personal bias aside (ex-Rouyn Noranda piece of the puzzle that squashed Drummondville's 25th season playoff hopes, among other crimes, but despite this has still pretty much been overrated his entire career, in my honest and humble opinion) did not have a stellar NHL debut. And I still don't understand why Bergeron is a Hab. Presence on the power play? Sure, we need one. But with all the delay of game penalties (Hamr, I'm looking at you) and other silly infractions, that becomes void. And anyway, if we're using that logic we may as well buy back Pierre Dagenais for the shootout. Would you?


The ~czechtacular household balancing act between Dancing With the Stars and the game prevents me from making further comments about how the game ended. But while I openly tend to lean in favour of Halak, it really is ridiculous how differently the team plays in front of him versus how they play in front of Price. Poor guy, honestly. Mike Boone suggests that maybe Pavelec should try playing behind Carle and Bergeron. Good point, well made. Not that the Atlanta Thrashers' defensemen are world-renowned themselves, but at least they defend their goaltender like NHLers should.

Breaking news...

Just in case our liveblog turned out to be like the last one (ie. frustrating, undesired result), I saved this news for a potential pick-me-up. Brian Gionta's existence means we need no such mood-lifter, but to hold us over a little while extra I have the following awesomeness.

That's right, your bloggettes (and a friend, poor friend) are headed to a Habs' game and we don't have to go to Ottawa to do it. The proof arrived (rather quickly, I must say) in my mailbox this afternoon, this after I pulled out all the stops in my classroom (!) to get a seat in that waiting room last Thursday, which is what Rookie alluded to in her latest Plus/Minus post. That blasted system usually never works for me, which is what makes this most recent acquisition all the more miraculous. That said, the other 21 270 people had probably best be prepared....

Thoughts on Atlanta-Montreal now....It would be nice if we could win in 60 minutes, not 65, but I'm not spitting on the W. I'm actually convinced that Brian Gionta is Superman. If no one is going to sew that C on his jersey I'm going to find one and put it on myself. With masking tape. If I must. Honourable mentions to Scott Gomez for not tolerating Kozlov's assault on him near the end of regulation, and Max Lapierre for going Extreme Makeover, Rage Edition on Colby Armstrong. And all the more reason to love this game: the Kladno contingent being represented in the other net. Ondrej Pavelec quickly became one of my favourite goaltenders in the Q when my Cape Breton friend pointed him out in several of her game posts four years ago. Despite leading the Chicago Wolves to a Calder Cup he's had a rough go of an NHL career, often playing third fiddle in a goaltending duo that had its own share of ups and downs with the play (or lack thereof) of the supporting cast around them. However, tonight proved how well he's filling in for injured starter Kari Lehtonen. From what I had seen up til now, though, he hadn't had a game quite like this one to really put his coaching staff in a means to really start to think about the future. It's bittersweet to see him pull off what he did in front of the Habs, but I'm glad for him that he did. It'll be interesting now to see what happens in a few weeks when Lehtonen's scheduled to make his return.

In the meantime, wahoo, Habs-Flames tickets! Aaaand goodnight.