Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Preparing for a Habs-less playoff season

I've never seen a Habs-free postseason, but I think I've made my peace with this season and now I'm ready for the playoffs to start.
Proof that I miss the Habs: I can't bring myself to uphold my tradition of making my own playoff bracket.
Proof that I'll be okay: I've already busted out my "unlucky" Josh Gorges shirt, after leaving it in the depths of an untouched dresser drawer since September. I'm so happy to be wearing it again, it's ridiculous.

I don't really know how to deal with the playoffs when the Habs aren't in them, but here's what I've figured out so far:

As usual, I'll attach myself to players on a few different teams (my "playoff boyfriends," for lack of a better term.) This year's playoff boyfriends include Erik Karlsson and returning favourite Jonathan Ericsson. If there's a Karl Jonathansson in the playoffs, I'll probably put him on the list, too.

I'll paint my nails just to avoid biting them down to stubs during most of these playoff series. (Especially YOU, Vancouver-Los Angeles.)

I'll wait for crazy John Tortorella antics with bated breath, and mentally compare them with Dan Bylsma's postgame pressers.

I'm going to use every possible opportunity to say "SMASHVILLE!" out loud because it's just so much damn fun to say. And I'll hope for as much Hal Gill screen time as possible.

I might get whiplash from changing alliances so often, because I'm so excited for most of these matchups.

I'll probably spend a whole lot of weekends napping and a whole lot of weekday mornings eating Nutella and drinking caffeine, because of course the Western Conference has the most exciting matchups and I'll be skipping a couple hours of sleep each night.

I'll give Washington fans as much support as they need in booing the Bruins. And more.

I'll keep an eye on the best playoff beards, and hope that the Heart and Stroke Foundation's Beard-A-Thon raises a lot of money. Which remains to be seen, because Shea Weber isn't participating, and we all know that Shea Weber's beard is where the money is at.

Happy playoffs!

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