Thursday, August 15, 2013

I don't normally accept bribes.

Somehow, word got around the hockey community that I would be writing the Canadiens' entry in Puck Daddy's National Hockey League of Nations. As such, I was contacted by a bunch of eager Habs players and alumni, hoping that I would write about them. I still have no idea how they got my address, but here's what they sent me:

From the family of Maurice Richard: A copy of The Hockey Sweater, when what I really wanted was a picture of The Rocket where his eyes look especially crazy.

From Alex Kovalev: A lock of his hair, and the keys to that car he won at the 2009 All-Star Game (which may or may not have been lent to Sergei Kostitsyn at some point.)

From Sergei Kostitsyn: The exact same thing that Alex Kovalev sent me, but a week later and in a really smushed-up envelope with my name and address misspelled.

From Jean Beliveau: A smile.

From Chris Chelios: A bottle of Johnnie Walker Red and a very, very expensive brown leather purse.

From Jaroslav Halak: A letter that reads "You know that store on Ste-Catherine that's still selling my T-shirts? The one whose owner has hated Carey Price since his rookie season? I told him to just relax and chill out."

From Carey Price: A note that said "Vote for Jaro!" on cowboy-printed stationery.

From Tomas Plekanec: Not even joking, he sent me a turtleneck, a sleeveless turtleneck, a turtleneck for my cat, and a keychain shaped like a Habs jersey with a turtleneck under it.

From Sergei Samsonov: An email that said "Whatever. I don't need Montreal, because I'm going to be on the Bruins' list."

From Kirk Muller: A brief but very nice email, when what I really wanted was a gif of him flipping his hair.

From Patrick Roy: Earplugs shaped like Stanley Cup rings.

And no, I haven't read the comments, because that is the number-one rule of Yahoo.

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