It's the first Saturday of the hockey season. Elsewhere, Miley Cyrus, the current queen of controversy, is hosting Saturday Night Live. So, the obvious thing for me to do is make a list of the...
Top 5 Pop Stars That Remind Me Of NHL Teams
The Toronto Maple Leafs are Lady Gaga: Been showing us the same stuff for years, but keep trying to convince us that they're the greatest show on Earth, that they're different and better than everyone else. But... come on, now.
The Chicago Blackhawks are Beyoncé: Works hard. Plays hard. Runs the world.
The Pittsburgh Penguins are Katy Perry: Beloved by small children and adult men alike. Super eager to show us all their new look, you guys! (It's just a shame that penguins are one of the only animals that Katy didn't name-drop in "Roar," which is so incredibly boring compared to its title.)
You'll notice that no team is Taylor Swift. That is because everyone associates Taylor Swift with singing about her exes, and who complains more about the men they used to love than hockey fans? So, congratulations, we are all Taylor Swift.