Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Polishing up the lockout

I should probably just admit right now that I love nail polish. Somehow, people don't always expect this from me, but I'm perfectly okay with spending as much on a mani-pedi as I would on a ticket to a hockey game. (Even though my manicurist is really affordable.) I've been buying nail polish like a fiend these last few months. I try to stop, but everywhere I turn there's a new collection with pretty colours and pun-tastic themed names.

Originally, this post was going to be an imaginary collection of NHL-themed colours, but there is no real NHL of which to speak right now, so that post will have to wait. I'm not happy about it, either. Instead, here's another imaginary collection of colours:

The Locked Out Collection 2012
Four shades that will get everyone talking.

Salary Capped Out
(Real name: Agro, from the Hunger Games collection by China Glaze)
CBA negotiations are all about the benjamins. Why not recognize that by wearing this money-green shade, flecked with hints of gold?

In The Red
(Real name: Red My Fortune Cookie, from the Hong Kong collection by OPI)
While the players and the owners argue over money, pubs and other small businesses wonder how they'll cope with the loss of revenue they'd normally make during the hockey season. Businesses in the red? So are your nails!

Lights Out
(Real name: Nein! Nein! OK Fine! from the Germany collection by OPI)
Saturday night at the arena used to mean bright lights and white ice. That's not so true right now. If you were to look into your arena on a game night, all you'd see is a giant empty space with the lights off, and it would probably look like this.

Trading Places
(Real name: Tangerine Tango Dream, by Sephora + Pantone)
Bright tangerine orange is the colour of the year. Guess what else there is this year? Basketball. This time last season, hockey fans laughed at basketball fans and tipped extra at arena concession stands in an attempt to make up for the shortened NBA season. Who's laughing now that the arenas have nothing but net? Embrace the now by wearing the hottest colour of the year and matching it to a basketball.

If you're wondering whether these polishes have good wear, don't worry: the Locked Out Collection will last longer than you expect it to.

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