Wednesday, March 21, 2012

May the odds be ever in your favor

After hearing about it for ages, I finally got around to reading The Hunger Games. I love it. I have gasped very loudly at certain plot twists, regardless of whether I was alone or in public.
So, obviously, I needed to write a post combining The Hunger Games and hockey. So, how would some of the NHL's biggest names do if they were selected at the reaping?

General Managers
Brian Burke would be a force to be reckoned with, like a Career Tribute. If anyone is crazy enough to play this game, not only for survival, but for glory, it would be him. He'd tell his stylists how to dress him. He'd be memorable in his interview. And once the Games started, he'd have no problem killing anyone who got in his way. My only worry would be if one bad decision set him back.

Pierre Gauthier is a vegetarian, so I guess he's used to starving. He'd do all right foraging for berries or subsisting on tree bark. If he's ruthless enough to trade a player during a game, there's no telling what he might do in the arena, so I wouldn't count him out.

Steve Yzerman would survive by taking all of Pierre Gauthier's best supplies.

Dean Lombardi would probably make some terrible decisions. Unless he allies himself with someone stronger and smarter, he's in trouble.

Sidney Crosby would make it pretty far - I have no idea if he knows how to set a snare or use a weapon, but Mario Lemieux would make sure that his sponsors bail him out of every situation he finds himself in. After all, Sidney Crosby and sponsors go hand-in-hand.

Ilya Bryzgalov would probably score pretty high with the Gamemakers, then get distracted the second he arrives in the arena and be dead within an hour.

Saku Koivu has survived 1000 NHL games, eye injuries, cancer, and being a non-francophone captain of the Montreal Canadiens. His only problem? He's probably too nice to kill anyone.

Why do I get the impression that Daniel Carcillo would be that guy who ate his kills?

Max Pacioretty is indestructible. He can survive anything. The sponsors, the Gamemakers, and the people of Panem would love him. He'll do great as long as a certain Boston-based ogre isn't in the Games.

Actually, all of the Bruins would probably kill everyone in their path, just for fun. I'm reluctant to say this but maybe we should bet on them.

Thoughts on who'd win if the NHL was Panem? Hunger Games/hockey inspired photoshop projects? Hugs for the next time something bad happens? That's what the comments are for! (I'm about two-thirds through Catching Fire. No spoilers, please.)

1 comment:

  1. LOL love it!! the books are so good! can't wait to see the movie!


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