I made this list in a misguided attempt to cheer myself up, because I still can't quite talk about it:
Jarome Iginla, New York Ranger.
The cancellation of my favourite TV show. (It's been almost five years since Arrested Development ended, and the wounds have finally started healing.)
Getting dumped on your birthday. For your nemesis.
Realizing that American Idol will be back on TV soon.
Movies with talking animals.
Being Eric Bélanger and performing your own dental work.
Many of 2010's biggest pop songs.
Being Carey Price when he heard the Josh Gorges injury news.
Justin Bieber fans.
The thought of Jacques Martin in a dress. Like, say, this one:
Having basically no ACL in my own right knee. (My threshold for pain is much, much lower than any athlete's.)
Zach Parise's injury.
Josh Gorges requesting a trade to the Toronto Maple Leafs.
(Actually, that last one might hurt less. I'd pretend to hate him for a few weeks, and then I'd actually hate him.)