Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Things that might happen during the Habs-Bruins series and how to deal with them

I'm trying to be better at planning for the future, so I've been preparing for some possibilities in this playoff series.

Might happen: One fanbase makes T-shirts or memes that are more heinously offensive than fun and competitive.
How to deal with it: Change the subject, argue about who has better beer or street food or something.

Might happen: On-ice hits that turn into tussles that turn into brawls that turn into at least one player being done for the season.

Might happen: Bruins fans make fun of Habs fans who don't speak English.
How to deal with it: Remind them that not all Bostonians are that great at English, either. We've watched Wahlburgers, okay?

Might happen: The Bruins win a game.
How to deal with it: Three glasses of wine, a Nutella sandwich, and go right to bed. Wake up and have another Nutella sandwich (wine optional.)

Might happen: Milan Lucic spears someone in the balls.
How to deal with it: Send him to the penalty box.

Might happen: Bruins fans complain that refs are biased toward the Habs because Milan Lucic got a penalty for spearing someone in the balls, and he didn't get in lots of trouble last time, because the NHL rulebook doesn't say anything about making ball kabobs.
How to deal with it: ...Point out that making ball kabobs is not very nice.

Godspeed, Habs, and may your delicate parts remain intact.

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