Try not to gag while I brush his mullet
Pour shots
Make sure he gets to the Stanley Cup parade on time
Learn how to gamble
Remind him not to forget the Conn Smythe trophy at that rooftop party
Take his phone away from him after too many drinks
Research dog breeds, figure out which one most resembles Jonathan Toews
Maintain a good professional rapport with the people at Jack Daniels
Make myself available for his alibis and excuses, like tomorrow, when he has to drive me to surgery or a dentist or something
Never tell him I’m Canadian
Learn how to text “Dude, you have practice in five minutes. Wake up.” in less than one second
Humour all of his stupid ideas for Halloween costumes and then act like it’s cool when he wears them in March
Keep him away from Chris Brown
Remind him not to forget the Conn Smythe trophy at that rooftop party
And that he cannot trade the Conn Smythe trophy for pizza
Take his phone away from him after too many drinks
Research dog breeds, figure out which one most resembles Jonathan Toews
Maintain a good professional rapport with the people at Jack Daniels
Make myself available for his alibis and excuses, like tomorrow, when he has to drive me to surgery or a dentist or something
Never tell him I’m Canadian
Vote him into the All-Star Game every day
Learn how to text “Dude, you have practice in five minutes. Wake up.” in less than one second
Humour all of his stupid ideas for Halloween costumes and then act like it’s cool when he wears them in March
Keep a puck and a stick in my car in case of emergencies
And... Kaner, are you serious? TWO boxes of signed hockey cards? Where am I going to put my groceries?
Keep him away from Chris Brown
Tip the cab driver
Find a way to tag along to his practices and TV appearances without anyone thinking that there's anything else going on
