Plus/Minus: Locked out of heaven

Okay, yes, I took this post title from a Bruno Mars song.
Sometimes at the office, it seems like everyone around me is talking at the same time, which can be a little distracting (to say the least.) So I drown them out with music. Last week I listened to Bruno Mars, and no you are not allowed to judge me for it. I danced in my office chair, despite my best efforts not to. That's kind of how I feel about having NHL hockey back in my life. I'm trying to play it cool and pretend nothing has changed, but sometimes the excitement just takes over and I dance in my office chair. (In my defence: "Runaway Baby.")

PLUS

+ 2 One for each of our rookie Gallys, in honour of their first NHL goals.
+ Every time Ryan White accomplishes something, he gets a Plus. That's just how I run things around here. Ryan White scored a goal(!) and thus, he gets a Plus.
+ Czechtacular and I were hoping that Brandon Prust would not disappoint us. Between the punching and the scoring, he most definitely met our high expectations.
+ In my most recent appearance on the Habs 360 podcast, I said that Andrei Markov would be back in full force. I'm not giving myself this Plus - I'm giving Andrei Markov this Plus for being the amazing player I know he is.
+ A good captain has to "get" his role. He has to know what his team needs from him, and what his fans want from him. Brian Gionta delivered both in the season opener. I couldn't be prouder to have him as my captain.
+ Oh thank goodness I can finally stop hiding my #76 jersey between cardigans in my closet because P.K. is back!

MINUS

- Max Pacioretty's 3-4 week absence is a nightmare. Literally. I have this dream that seems to recur whenever I have a major event or responsibility coming up: The big day is just around the corner and I suddenly end up in the hospital with appendicitis, and I have to get on the phone and tell someone that I can't make it. (And, in the dream, I act like I'm really sorry to let everyone down, even though in real life I'd probably be all sick and feverish and asking for Tylenol.) Get well soon, Max.
- "A Girl's Guide to Watching the Rangers"? Just no. Stop. Anyone who writes garbage like this should just stop writing altogether.

- Hey, Fox? I understand that Ben & Kate's ratings weren't great, but you do realize that you had the two-hour comedy block that you've always wanted, and it was good, and you just punched a hole out of it, right?

Note to readers: For the rest of the season, Plus/Minus may be published intermittently, rather than on a weekly basis.

Rookie tries fantasy hockey.

So this is what it's like to build a team.
Except Gauthier is a vegetarian and I love chicken wings, so not really.

I recently joined a hockey pool for the first time, and learned that "fantasy hockey" isn't those dreams I have where Josh Gorges makes me waffles and we watch Arrested Development together. (Did I just blog that out loud?)

My draft was yesterday, and it was every bit as stressful as my fantasy football draft a few weeks ago. I'm guessing that all the grumbling and the yelling and the loud noises and rise in blood pressure are normal when drafting a fantasy team?

In any case, here's the lineup for Every Day I'm Byfuglien:

FORWARDS
Evgeni Malkin, Pittsburgh. He scores lots of goals and gets lots of penalties. I get points for both of those things. Plus, I was confused about whether to take him, Stamkos, Ovechkin, or Henrik Sedin. So I took the guy who tweeted a picture of his cat.

Jonathan Toews, Chicago. Because he's Jonathan Toews.

Tomas Plekanec, Montreal. I don't think I get points for faceoffs, so that's a Plus for Pleks. I have a good feeling about him this season.

Dustin Brown, Los Angeles. He's good all-around, and he's a King. I went for Brown since Doughty and Kopitar were snatched out from under me.

Andrei Kostitsyn, Montreal. Yeah, I took a gamble on Andrei. Most people don't believe in him, but he can do great things during contract seasons. And if he doesn't do a lot of scoring, he'll probably get in trouble, and I'll get points for PIMs.

He was really excited when I picked him

Shane Doan, Phoenix. So, Jarome Iginla was taken. And then two picks before I was going to take Evander Kane (the baby Jarome Iginla), he got drafted. So I took Shane Doan, who, like Iginla, is a great player and a great captain. Also, whenever I'm in doubt, I just think of what players Czechtacular likes. (I'm still her protégée, no matter what she says.)

Joe Pavelski, San Jose. He's good during the regular season, right?

Brian Gionta, Montreal. My captain. Why not?

Devin Setoguchi, Minnesota. Remember how on Friends, Chandler always went back to Janice? I think Setoguchi is my Janice. So many things have happened that should have made me stop liking him: The Sharks have lost in the playoffs when they were supposed to win the Cup. I've seen him wear Ed Hardy. He got married and didn't tell me. He joined Twitter, was boring, then quit because it was "too distracting," only to come back after he'd been traded to Minnesota. Through it all, I still like him. This isn't healthy. Don't let me down again, Devin.

DEFENSE

Brent Burns, on the fantasy hockey campaign trail

Brent Burns, San Jose. The trade to San Jose is supposed to be really good for him, right?

Nicklas Lidstrom, Detroit. He's Nick freaking Lidstrom. He's good at everything.

Jack Johnson, Los Angeles. Okay, so I got another King. He's a badass.

Cam Fowler, Anaheim. I took him because everyone says to take Cam Fowler in fantasy hockey.

UTILITY GUYS
Theo Peckham, Edmonton. He gets penalty minutes. And that mustache.

Brooks Laich, Washington. He didn't become a Hab this summer, so this is the closest I'll get to having him on my team. Should I re-name my team As You Laich It?

BENCH (OR WHATEVER "BN" STANDS FOR)
Mason Raymond, Vancouver. (aka, The Opposite of Name-Dropping) Okay, so he's broken. But when he's fixed, even if he doesn't come back 100%, he'll still be damn fast.

James Wisniewski, Columbus. He's good at hockey. I remember that much from last year. (The rest is all a blur, stained by tears over player injuries and Saku Koivu's return to the Bell Centre.)

Michael Ryder, Dallas. At first this was Teddy Purcell in Tampa Bay, but Ryder apparently had an incredible preseason and will be getting lots of ice time. Or so I'm told by someone who actually pays attention to the Dallas Stars.

GOALIES

Jonathan Quick, Los Angeles. By the time I got to this pick (second round, 16th overall, I think?) all of last year's top 5 goalies had been taken. Except maybe Tim Thomas, but I guess I forgot about him and I'm better off with no Bruins as long as fantasy hockey isn't cursed like football is, in which case I'd have drafted Brad Marchand twice just to ensure some kind of dumbass injury. But I digress. Quick would have been my backup goalie, so I took him first, thinking of that insane shutout he posted against the Red Wings last year.

Corey Crawford, Chicago. Considering how he played last season, I'm lucky to have him on my team. I feel like we should be referring to Crawford as "the next ________" but I don't know who to compare him to.

Ondrej Pavelec, Winnipeg. The ThrashJets are going to be better than they were last year, simply because they'll have fan support, and Pavelec was already really good. Also, he's Czech.

So, there you have it. A team with a punny name, filled with players who are good at hockey (right?) and who I like (except for Cam Fowler, because who's dis guy?).

Now comes the next step: figuring out how this fantasy sports thing works.

Things I learned last season

The summer days are already getting shorter and a little bit cooler. But the season hasn't started yet and the end of summer has me itching for that first puck drop. What better way to look forward to next season, than to remember what I learned last season?



What a stanchion is.

P.K. Subban is the very definition of lightning in a bottle.

Rookies need to learn how to behave in the NHL... but respect is a two-way street. A veteran can't complain about not getting respect if he doesn't show any.

We may hate Leafs fans, and they might be incredibly tasteless when they hate on us, but they're not bad people. The way that Maple Leafs bloggers reached out to Habs fans as soon as Graham Rynbend rushed to the ice to care for Max Pacioretty showed an incredible amount of class and sympathy. Sometimes it's not about your team - it's just about being a hockey fan.

About that Graham Rynbend: He's the best.

I'm too proud to say "I told you so," and I know this because I didn't go gloating to all those people who gave up on Carey Price last season. So never underestimate someone's opinion, and never say never.

I also didn't start gloating to all the people who never expected to become Ryan White fans.

Like most people my age who basically grew up with Saku Koivu wearing the C, I still miss my old captain. But my new captain is nearly perfect.

There are very few places on Earth like the Bell Centre during the playoffs. Or the Bell Centre in general: It doesn't matter what kind of a day you've had, if you've got tickets to a Habs game, everything goes away from the moment the flag kids take to the ice to the moment you leave.

If you go out someplace to grab a beer and watch a home game with some friends, DO NOT LEAVE EARLY. Kirk Muller will show up almost an hour after you leave. Your friends will see him and maybe even speak to him, and you will have missed out on it. (This happened to me twice this season. TWICE. And now we have no more Kirk Muller, so I totally missed the Kirk-boat.)

I knew these already, but... Trust your coach. Trust your team.

Perfect start to the playoffs

The Boston Bruins, who have scored 8 goals against the Habs twice in the regular season, were shut out last night. It feels great.

I could not be prouder of my team right now. They all deserve a Plus, but just to list a few examples:

People are applauding Scott Gomez for waking up and putting points on the board. Personally, I think it's been a long time coming. Still, if I had a car that wouldn't start for months, then suddenly I was able to start it and drive around the block, I'd be excited too.

Brian Gionta proved again that he knows how to be captain of this team. (As if anyone with any common sense would doubt him.)

PK knows how to get under an opponent's skin, as we knew already. But as the Bruins and their fans (haters gonna hate) saw yesterday, he also knows how to be an excellent defenseman. Brad Marchand can wag his chin and throw as many punches as he wants - until he backs it up with some real hockey, he's just proving that PK is the better player in this stupid little feud.

Brent Sopel was all over the place, in the best way possible. Forget what you've heard about how the best defencemen are the ones you don't notice. I couldn't help but notice Sopes doing everything he could to clear the puck.

Carey Price: there are no words. He carries this team on his back. Luckily, it appears that his teammates are trying to lighten the load.

If I learned anything from last night's game, it's that the Habs have had enough tragedy this season and they won't allow any more.

I also learned that no one should ever doubt the Canadiens, EVER. On Tuesday night I expressed my stupid, stupid rationale that the Bruins might win this series even though I didn't want them to. Less than 24 hours later, I was running a fever. My temperature didn't drop until this morning - AFTER the Habs won. Same thing happened to a friend of mine: he dissed the Habs (I don't know why) and was diagnosed with sinusitis today.

It's not just about faith or being a fan. It's about certainty. The Habs can win this series, and for fear of running another fever, I think they will.

Plus/Minus: The streak is over

A decent week overall for the Habs, right? I know, it's strange to have seen the team win games (sort of) and score goals this week. What's that about? Do they like us again for real, or are they just being nice to us? Can we finally stop singing "Grenade" and inserting random Hab names into the lyrics?

PLUS

+ Thank you, Roman, for finally ending the scoring drought on Tuesday.
+ MaxPac is skating! Nothing matters quite as much as our #67 being on the road to recovery.
+ Holy crap, Teemu Selanne is nearly twice our age and scored five points in one game.
+ Jarome Iginla scored 1000 career points. I'm so proud. This is just another accomplishment on his way to becoming Prime Minister.
+ Brian Gionta hit the 400-point mark against the Devils. We love you, captain!
+ PK Subban's slapshot.
+ Hey, Carey. Good on you for tying Patrick Roy's peak of 36 wins in one season. (No pressure. I just love my goalie. The rest is just icing on the cake.)
+ It hurts me to say this, but Jeff Skinner and his two goals against the Habs didn't entirely infuriate me. The kid is just so good at hockey.

MINUS

- Bill McCreary has retired. But now who will have a mustache?
- Japan withdraws from all 2011 IIHF tournaments in order to accommodate the players whose families have been affected by the earthquake and tsunami. It makes sense, but it's unfortunate nonetheless. Maybe sports can help, as implied by this fantastic post about baseball. (Yes, baseball. I know. What's up with that? Just read it.)
- Benoit Pouliot. Sigh. He was on fire for a while, but it looks like someone needs to fan those flames again.


- Is Georges Laraque serious? It seems like he only talks about the Canadiens to criticize them, and he's completely oblivious. He acts like he's still a hockey player when the general consensus is that he made his own fate. He may still be on the Habs' payroll, but he doesn't actually play for them. His last season as a Hab doesn't reflect his entire career, I know, but hockey is what made him famous and he either ignores that fact or takes it for granted and doesn't seem to understand that the most respected members of sports media are the ones who are able to show some kind of decorum. I have complete respect for his dedication to certain causes, but it doesn't give him the right to act the way he does. Bono may plan telethons and build drinking wells and meet with heads of state, but he knows that writing songs is what made him famous enough to make a difference. Angelina Jolie may do a lot of work with the United Nations, but she doesn't crap all over every actress in Hollywood just because she's a humanitarian. There's been a lot of talk this season about respect in the NHL. I don't expect it only from rookies. I expect anyone who's ever been close to an NHL team to watch what they say when it comes to coaches and players.

And on a more somber note, we're sending thoughts and prayers to St. Louis Blues prospect Jaden Schwartz and his family, after the loss of his sister Mandi. They refer to it as "battling cancer" because it's a tough fight, and you don't always win, but the support that Mandi had from her teammates, friends, and hockey fans everywhere was amazing. I'm the same age as Mandi and I don't think I'd be able to have as much strength as she had. Rest in peace, Mandi, and be proud that you inspired so many people to donate blood and bone marrow.

Plus/Minus: Trade deadline is over

Hopefully my thoughts on the last week will be even a little bit cohesive. Turning the trade deadline into a drinking game was a bad idea on my part. The stress caused by Ryan White being told not to practice, then sent to Hamilton, then returned to the Habs mere hours later, was not my fault at all. (The rumour that Jarred Tinordi was traded is also not cool.)

PLUS

Go Bulldogs!

+ 3 What a game against the Canucks! A plus to Andrei Kostitsyn for finally busting out of his funk and putting some points on the board this week. And the biggest Stanley Cup contender in the league lost a game because of two of its shortest players. Fantastic goals by Gionta and Desharnais.
+ I'm looking forward to closing out the season with Brent Sopel. He knows what it's like to make a Stanley Cup run and above all he's a good guy.
+ Ryan O'Byrne had hisface sliced open on the ice, and finished his shift. I think it's really unfortunate (and yes, a little bit gross) that the injury had to happen, but O'B gets a few Chuck Norris points for this incident.
+ Great game by the Hamilton Bulldogs at the Bell Centre on Friday. Goals by new hire Nigel Dawes, my boy JT Wyman, and Aaron Palushaj (who's some kind of Bell Centre scoring machine).

MINUS

I have a couple more of these if anyone's interested

- I hate spelling mistakes. Especially when a professional journalist makes the same typo over and over and over again. I'll overlook it once or twice, but Francois Gagnon didn't notice after he typed "Cancuks" the twentieth time?
- I'm not good with trades, to be honest. So even though I knew that Ben Maxwell wasn't the guy to lead the Canadiens to a Stanley Cup victory, I'm going to miss him. Until I see him tomorrow in Atlanta and will have to cheer for my Habs.
- Mike Komisarek should get slapped for hitting Tomas Plekanec.
- Habs fans: Haven't we been through this before? You don't boo your own players. How can you hate Alex Auld when he's only started a handful of games?
- That being said, yes, I know. Phil Kessel and Brett Lebda scored goals and the Leafs beat the Habs. It sucks.

At least this week we won't have to deal with the stress of a Brad Richards rumour every other minute.

Team Rookie and Team Czechtacular keep handing out jerseys

(Those jerseys, by the way, have yet to be designed, but one would probably have a Czech crest on it and the other a cat. Go ahead and guess which is which.)

If you haven't read Part 1, and you certainly had time to during our extended technical difficulties, you should do that now. It'll give you a better idea of who we picked so far and how careful we are not to step on each other's toes. Not. So we're at round 11:

Team Rookie's eleventh pick:
Saku Koivu. His selection is somewhat due to leftover Koivu nostalgia from last week. We miss him.

Team Czechtacular's eleventh pick:
Henrik Lundqvist. Okay, maybe I won't need too much help in goal. Or in the GQ department.

Team Rookie's twelfth pick:
P.K. Subban. Others hate him. We love him. He's fast, enthusiastic, energetic, and flashy. He would rock the skills competition and bring some actual defence to the game. And maybe, by the end of the weekend, everyone else will love him too. And I will say I told you so.

Team Czechtacular's twelfth pick:
Everyone seems to forget about the existence of Brad Richards. That's sort of how I roll, so I believe I will go with the 6th-best scorer in the league, thank you.

Team Rookie's thirteenth pick:
RICK NASH!!!! I'm sorry, that happens every time I mention him. I'm a big fan and we Montrealers rarely get to see him. I looked up his stats and he's having a great season! How are the Blue Jackets not having a better season with a captain like this?

Team Czechtacular's thirteenth pick:
Nick Lidstrom's got a tough job ahead of him in that he's one of the guys doing the picking tonight, so he can take it easy now. [Rookie: dammit! I wish I had picked him]

Team Rookie's fourteenth pick:
Anze Kopitar. He's really good at hockey.

Team Czechtacular's fourteenth pick:
To be the Lidstrom of the forwards, Mark Recchi. Plus 32 points is none too shabby for the oldest guy in the league.

Team Rookie's fifteenth pick:
Brian Gionta. Gotta show the captain some love.

Team Czechtacular's fifteenth pick:
Dan Boyle, because i now have the added knowledge that he can hit even the tiniest of nets.

Team Rookie's sixteenth pick:
Jonathan Ericsson. It turns out I know very little about defencemen, but Ericsson usually catches my attention during the playoffs. While I don't buy into this whole "represent every team" kindergarten bullcrap, I'd feel weird not having a Detroit Red Wing on my team. (Valtteri came close to making Team Rookie but was ultimately cut.)

Team Czechtacular's sixteenth pick:
Adrian Aucoin, for an all-Ottawa blueline. Also because his +18 remains unaffected for the balance of this game.

Team Rookie's seventeenth pick:
Shea Weber. He was given this spot at the last minute, since we reached this round in our draft exactly as he was being picked on TV. He's a Team Canada superstar and a friend of Josh Gorges. He had to be on this team.

Team Czechtacular's seventeenth pick:
Erik Karlsson. Because he, too, was on TV during this round. I want to see him play with Yandle. I think he can yandle it.

Team Rookie's eighteenth pick:
Matt Duchene. I was ecstatic that he was named an All-Star this year, he deserves it, he's had a great season and he's so adorably awkward. I love it when players I pick at random (like I did with Duchene around the time he was drafted) turn out to be good.

Team Czechtacular's eighteenth pick:
Jakub Voracek. To be a friend to Derick Brassard.

Team Rookie's nineteenth pick:
Niklas Hjalmarsson. Some people think it's because I've learned to pronounce his name instead of being scared of it, but he's coming off a stanley cup win, and I googled his numbers and they're good.

Team Czechtacular's nineteenth pick:
Our newest Twitter darling Ryan Jones. He has the duality of being a hard worker and epic commentator in between proceedings, especially in the skills competition. He also has great hockey flow, which is always appreciated in these things. I think PK was proof of that tonight.

Team Rookie's twentieth pick:
My boy, because I met him once, Joe Pavelski: Dynamite in last year's playoffs, keeping a decent pace this season, and I just couldn't not pick him.

Team Czechtacular's twentieth pick:
Teemu Selanne, because he and Saku should be at an All-Star Game together, even if they're on opposing teams.

Team Rookie's twenty-first pick:
So I was looking at defenceman standings, expecting to realize I'd completely forgotten someone on some sun-belt team who's great at defence and who I love very much, and you know who I see is pretty good compared to the rest of the league? James Wisniewski. Yeah.

Team Czechtacular's twenty-first pick:
Am I Kesselling someone? I pick Vladimir Sobotka because he will hit people in an all star game. He's the David Backes of our version.

Just to make the goalies sweat it out a little, we went with an all-goalie last round.

Team Rookie's twenty-second pick:
For my last goalie, I gotta go with my boy Roberto Luongo. Yes, that's right, Luongo is my boy, even moreso than Pavelski. For some reason the Internet doesn't like him, but his save percentage is good and I like him and it's my team.

Team Czechtacular's twenty-second pick:
Ilya Bryzgalov. I picked him first in all my hockey pools this season and wanted to see how much he liked being picked last. Unfortunately, I don't have a car to give him.


If we had any footage of Matt Duchene making awkward jokes while eagerly waiting to be picked, we'd share it, but there's no way we'd even be able to get these guys in a room together.

Czechtacular attempts Plus/Minus

Happy New Year for reals, now. Don't do anything I wouldn't do in 2011. Also note that I haven't as of yet figured out what I am doing in 2011.

So how does this work? Is this thing even on? Time for me to tap at the microphone here.

PLUS

+ A win to end the year. And what's that thing they always say? Something about how you end the year is how you'll be spending the next one...? Lots of hope for that.

+ James Wisniewski and the fact that if he continues playing like he has since he was acquired, less people will have to Google how his name is actually spelled.

+ David Desharnais is here! So what if it's a mini-plus? He led the AHL in points when he was called up. Post-its for everyone! (If you don't know what that means, clearly you don't have a repertoire of ingenious sign ideas for Hamilton games.)

+ A hard-fought game to kick off 2011. Overtime bites, it really does. Hell, I'm still shaking my fist at Dustin Penner. But despite running head-first into a hot goalie in Ondrej Pavelec the Habs did throw the kitchen sink at him. Just ask...

+ Brian Gionta, who took nine shots on goal and got the goal that sent the game into extra time in the first place.

+ Carey Price wins the Molson Cup! Again!

+2 Team Canada moves on to face the USA in the WJC semi-finals. Louis Leblanc scored in Sunday's 4-1 victory over Switzerland.

MINUS

This just about sums it all up.

- In four games played this week the Habs scored six goals.

-2 Josh Gorges on the IR.

- Habs' fans were treated to a litany of missed chances and the accompanyment of bruised vocal chords that came with each and every single one.

- Overtime bites, it really does.

- Another late-period goal was scored by Atlanta yesterday afternoon. Those are like nails on a chalkboard.

-3 No wins and certainly no tans were acquired over the Florida roadie. Also, Cedrick Desjardins is back in the AHL now, but that first win was against the team that dealt him, wasn't it?

-4 The Winter Classic was late, not great, was thought to be presided over by The Weather Network rather than sports' channels, and those stuck watching NBC and their odd camera angles were heading to their barf bags more than usual the day after New Year's Eve.

- @StevenHindle pointing out "Although no longer with the team, Georges Laraque still collects $2,688 from the #Habs every single day of the 2010 regular season. #ezmoney"

- The other Team Canada lost the Spengler Cup to SKA St. Petersburg.

NEITHER A PLUS NOR A MINUS

? Lapierre moves on. It probably didn't take rocket science to figure out some move was coming, but here's hoping that a change of scenery will allow him to grow into a different kind of role, maybe one that involves less muck and sandpaper (even if we all know that character did wonders for him these past playoffs).

No place like HIHW for the holidays

Some hockey-themed holiday reading, if you're not one of those people who gets into the Christmas spirit by listening to awful pop covers of Christmas standards. Or, heaven forbid, Christmas songs written by former Beatles:

Do you remember last year's HIHW Holiday Gift Guide? If you don't, here are Part One, Part Two, and Part Three.

More on gifts: I broke down my most recent awful merchandise finds into Gifts I Don't Want and Gifts I Won't Give.

The Active Stick's Christmas list might just be better than my fake Christmas list. (More on that later.)

Habs Laughs has New Year's Resolutions for the Canadiens.

And, finally, I've got to admit that I just don't have what it takes to make a Puck Daddy-worthy Christmas card. So, I made, um, postcards.

This one's for Czechtacular.

You can send this one to the friend who loves HockeyFights.com more than oxygen

Habs haters might like to make a short joke out of this, but Gill and Gionta are my favourite sight gag and also I love them.

This is one of the only LA Kings pictures I have on my computer, I swear

This one is for your older sister. It's a proven fact that most big sisters love Christopher Higgins, no matter what team he plays for.

This one's for puckbunnies. (Even though I'm usually against them... it's Christmas.) It's also a reference to my Christmas list.

So... the fake Christmas list I've been alluding to? It started with my brother's promise that this year's Christmas present would be one for the ages. "You'll never guess," he keeps saying, "and you're going to freak out." I have no idea what it could be, so I wrote a list of the most improbable, but awesomest things I could think of. Here is that list.

Now go get ready for the holidays, spend your Christmas bonus on an outfit for your ugly sweater party, or bake some cookies or something!

Plus/Minus got busy this week

Today is the 86th anniversary of the Forum's opening. Plus, four hockey games and a Grey Cup win, all in the same week. It's a little overwhelming!

from Als Inside/Out, who probably really like ending their season with a Grey Cup win, so let's hope that mojo moves on to H I/O

PLUS
+ The Alouettes won the Grey Cup!!! More congratulations are in order to Jamel Richardson on being named MVP.
+ Thank you, Carey Price, for your awesomeness. I love it when things go well: Carey's playing well, he has a great attitude, the team has a pretty decent record, and the fans are happy with him.
+ The Kings fans I met at the game on Wednesday were among the best hockey fans I have ever met. Don't get offended, blogger friends. You're the other best hockey fans I have ever met.
+ Congratulations on your first goal as a Hab, Lars Eller! Now if you can stop getting penalties, life would be peachy.
+ Brian Gionta had a three-point night on Saturday. It's the kind of game that makes you love your captain even more.

What did poor Jonathan Bernier ever do to you?

MINUS
- Best wishes for a clean bill of health to Anthony Calvillo, who announced he'll need surgery on his thyroid. His team might need him but his family needs him even more, so I really hope it's not serious.
- Anyone who boos their own team. How many times do I have to say this? Boo jerks who play for other teams. Or save your boos for something really awful, like if a Hab kicks a kitten.
- Dear Habs: please don't make it so easy for Atlanta to beat you.
- Have we seen Yannick Weber since the Flyers game on Monday? Will he ever be used properly? I know I shouldn't complain about coaching when the team is doing well, but he's a solid defensive prospect and will be of use to this team if he has the right experience. I want to see him with a good defensive linemate he can learn from, playing in games that aren't supposed to be huge nonstop fights.


Big day today outside of Habs games, but neither of us were able to take part in it. czechtacular is en route to Ottawa to see the Oilers play the Sens before they - and she - hit the Bell Centre on Wednesday. (Yes, between this and my LA Kings love, we're both aware that we're really bad at being Flames fans.) I had a previous engagement but I hope that at least one of you readers gave blood today. Or, you know, anytime would be good. I would have loved to attend the funeral mass for Pat Burns (presided by Cardinal Turcotte) but I'll say another prayer for him and hope that his passion continues to influence NHL players and coaches for a very long time.

Hello again, Devils

(Note from Rookie: Site maintenance prevents me from posting pictures at this moment, which is too bad because I had a good one!)

So how'd that Kovalchuk thing work out for you in the end? I fell asleep after like 600 pages. It was a really long story, and there just wasn't enough suspense. From what I can gather, Ilya's still around and you guys only have like ten other players on the team.

In case you didn't hear, last summer we took Brian Gionta from you and things are going great. We were together for a whole season, plus three rounds of playoffs, and over the summer we missed him so much that we decided to give him our captaincy when he came back. Yeah, we're pretty happy, thanks for asking. OK, fine, now that you mention it, he and Scott Gomez aren't scoring as many goals as our top line, but whatever. This is like the only fight we've had with him and we've been together over a year. How's having an eleven-player roster working out for you so far?

----
I fully expect any and all Habs fans attending the game tonight to wear their Gionta jerseys and T-shirts and show off that "C" very proudly to every TV camera and New Jersey Devil they run into.
Also, since site maintenance won't let me put up that picture, you'll have to settle for the ones I made for today's Game Day Thread at The NHL Arena.

Home opened!

There are a few things that jumped out at me during last night's home opener, and not just because my HD was crystal clear. Seriously, I don't know how much money goes into buying cameras for the Bell Centre, but it's worth every cent. This digital image nerd knows a thing or two about clear picture. The team was excited, the crowd was alive, and as a result, I was louder than ever watching the game from home. (After a goal by Tampa Bay, I screamed out "NOOOO!" which caused my mother to say "Oh, no!" and then the cat meowed, and it sounded like she said "no." True story.)

She's a Habs fan.

Yes, that was a bilingual "Nous sommes / We are" flag that the little flag kid skated around with. Who's going to speak louder, the francophones who don't want our team Americanized, the pro-bilingual people who'll be pleased, or the people wondering why they wrote the same thing twice?

Brian Gionta may have been criticized by some for his incorrect pronunciation of players' names and numbers, but he did a pretty good job. Except for the parts where he didn't, on purpose. He called #40 Maxim "Laperriere" as payback for not being taught to pronounce the word "vingt" properly. His slip-up in referring to Dustin Boyd as "Justin", however, is due to Boyd's resemblance to a young Justin Timberlake.

Gionta's nervousness was probably caused by the fact that he's accustomed to riling up crowds by scoring goals, not by speaking. After all, Michel Lacroix is the one paid to say people's names in an exciting manner.

No confirmation on whether the assistant captains were chosen solely because their jersey numbers are so close. If that's the case, I'd expect a mutiny from Gomez and Cammalleri. (For more on this, see HabsLaughs' take on Cammy and the captaincy.)

Joseph Kaiser was selected to sing the national anthems before the game because Charles Prévost-Linton did not brush his hair. Again. (Also because Kaiser might be a better singer.)

Kirk Muller drew bigger cheers from the crowd than any member of the crew or coaching staff. It might be because he won the Stanley Cup as a Hab, but it might also be because the entire city has a crush on him.

Bet you didn't notice Don Cherry

As for the game, there were some very bright points. Carey Price was in fine form as he has been lately. Which means that I'm about 20% less likely to want to slap Jack Todd after I read his next column. Andrei Kostitsyn looked rarin' to go before the game, and delivered. And, best of all, Dominic Moore and Guy Boucher's team won the game!!

...wait, what do you mean neither of those guys is on the Canadiens payroll anymore?

Oh. Right.

Plus/Minus is back!!

After giving the NHL a vacation from Plus/Minus this summer, I'm back at it. Has it really been four months since I've written one of these?

With the Habs' preseason over, and the team at sleepaway camp in Charlevoix this week (last chance to wear sweatpants in public!) there's finally some material to plus and minus. Yay!

PLUS

Does anyone else have a sudden urge to go dancing with these guys?

+ We actually have a captain. I almost forgot what it felt like.
+ White, Engqvist, and all the other young players who took advantage of their preseason ice time and showed us what they're made of.
+ Mathieu Darche gave arguably the best interviews out of any Hab this preseason. Players' relationship with the media was pretty relaxed in most cases, but Darche gave honest answers and was supportive of his teammates. Being perfectly bilingual also helped a little.
+ Slightly unnecessary goalie equipment plus: Nice helmet, bAuldy. Nice pads, Carey.
+ The Bulldogs just won in a shootout!
+ This isn't so much a "plus" as it is a "WTF": Alex Kovalev (isn't he supposed be Alexei again?) getting into a fight with Francois Beauchemin. Seriously. Kovalev fought. What.

MINUS

Bad news, you guys. I checked, and that's not how you score a goal.

- This Mike Cammalleri/Nino Neiderreiter business. Nino, if you try to hit our Cammy again, we as a city will make you regret it. Cammy, you have to be the bigger man in cases like this. Just give him one solid poke and leave it at that. Don't run after a rookie like a kid chasing a kitten.
- Everyone who's still whining about Carey Price - both fans and journalists.
- Enough with the Nordiques whining! Some people need a new hobby.


Enjoy your sweatpants, everybody!

We have a captain?

Yes we do! It only took about 16 months but the Montreal Canadiens have a captain again.

The bosses love him. His teammates approve. The fans (about 99% of them) are pleased.

We salute you, Captain GG. You run this town now, and you've got what it takes to do so. And if a few years down the line there's any sort of backlash against you, we will have a word with those people and try to shut them up.

Now, if you'll excuse us, we have some #21 shirts that need an extra letter.

My 12: Rookie breaks her own rules

Usually I hate playing armchair GM. (Notable exceptions: my vocal desire to bring Jarome Iginla, Evgeni Malkin, Drew Doughty, and a few other players to Montreal. Ask Czechtacular how many times I've asked her if we could have a bake sale to help pay for a big-money contract.) However, at the request of some of my blogger friends, I'm attempting to make my picks for 12 forwards that I'd like to see at the season opener.

Disclaimer: This isn't who I think will make the team, just who I like. And yes, I know that I'm not the most qualified person to judge chemistry between linemates, but I'll do my best.

Let's get the obvious out of the way: The top two lines.

Michael Cammalleri & Tomas Plekanec - can't have a team without them. And they've shown how well they can play together (see? Me, talking about chemistry!)

Brian Gionta & Scott Gomez - as if I wouldn't put my captain and his sidekick on the same line.

Benoit Pouliot & Andrei Kostitsyn - I haven't decided which of these players would play on which line, but they'd both add a little size to either of the top two lines and help complete plays. Their potential motivation problems will hopefully be appeased a little bit by playing with guys who have experience and leadership skills.

The tricky stuff: Lines 3 and 4.

Jeff Halpern & Travis Moen - We bought Jeff Halpern for a reason. And there's no way Travis Moen isn't making this team, if he has the man-parts to take on NHL baby Erik Gudbranson. I'm naming them together because they're both sure bets, but they'd probably be on separate lines.

Tom Pyatt - He's great for our supporting cast, and Coach J-Mart loves him, so he's in. Maybe on Moen's line.

Ryan White - After everything I've said about him, how can I cut The Great White? He makes the team for sure, maybe on Halpern's line since Moen is capable of fighting five guys all by himself.

Maxim Lapierre - Only if he can be as good as he was at the end of the season. We have Ryan White now so he'd had better shape up, unless he wants to be replaced by the other Max.

Dustin Boyd - he's my affirmative action, "choose a player we traded for" pick. But, again, Pacioretty's waiting in the wings and he's just a bit bigger, so the Boyd had better bring it.

Players tend to get angry when you cut them

Pressbox boys: These two have pretty good chances of seeing lots of ice time, in case Pouliot needs a night in the pressbox or Lapierre underperforms. I choose Max Pacioretty, who I have a lot of faith in for this season, and Lars Eller, who I think would make more of an impact than the guys I'd send to Hamilton.

To Hamilton: Mathieu Darche isn't an absolute necessity for the Canadiens (PR purposes notwithstanding) but he might prove useful for a callup. Otherwise, the Bulldogs will need a guy with Darche's patience and experience. Ben Maxwell has been overshadowed by a lot of his peers, so I don't think I'd give him much time in Montreal. You never know, though, because he's been getting better, so I'd keep my eye on him just in case.

Thoughts on Game 2

Huzzah! My laptop has found some Wi-Fi. And it's a hell of a game. A few end-of-period notes.

Manicure, consider yourself ruined.

So, after the first period:
As usual, we love our #21 and our #46. (And even those who don't... well, right now they do. Seriously. Check your Facebook and your Twitter if you don't believe me.)
A few scrapes during these first 20 minutes. First, José Théodore's ego got a little bruised. It must suck to get pulled after less than 10 minutes of play, but I guess this just wasn't his night. He pulled a little fit of frustration, but it wasn't as bad as the heinous bitch-fit I saw from J-S Giguère last winter. Then, Roman Hamrlik defended his net just a little too well, but didn't seem to sustain a major head injury from it. I'm a little more worried about Markov, who took a puck to the leg (either his knee or his shin). He looked like he was in pain, and a lot of people think he's already injured (he's been playing a little bit less superhumanly).
Watch out Habs, the Caps are getting it together and Ovie is angry.

After the second:
Mike Cammalleri caused a couple of penalties, but then got one of his own. Karma?
Andrei Kostitsyn is credited with two goals but only scores one. The Caps are only credited with one goal but really scored two.
Oh, and by the way, readers wearing hats, please take them off and throw them for Andrei (the "Belarusian Bomber"). It should have been raining hats.
Varlamov's earning his keep and Halak is... do I even need to end this sentence? Fantastical. Now if only Hal Gill could defend our net and screen the other one.

After the third:
I can't believe all that happened in just 20 minutes. I need a nap, a Zantac and maybe some electrolytes. Can I get a hit of that Gatorade, Jaro?
Well, it took five periods, but Ovechkin got his goal. It was pretty dirty, but Ovie gets the job done.
Speaking of Ovie, he tried to get up in Gionta's business after a huge, confusion around Varlamov's net. But no one messes with Brian Gionta, so we saw the resurrection of Scott Gomez, New York Ranger. He struggled a little, took down Tom Poti and skated to his 5-minute penalty, squinting like Clint Eastwood. (I seriously never thought I'd compare Gomez to Eastwood. Like, ever. Appreciate it, Scotty.)
Um, a whole bunch of goals, a moment of Plekanec/Cammalleri happiness (yes, even the toughest of athletes will hug like BFFs), and the game tied up at 5-5.
Jaro was not a happy camper by the end of this period. Maybe I should ask someone else for Gatorade.

Okay, next comes overtime. Will my stomach stop making noise?

Overtime
Over as quickly as it began. Backstrom gets puck, puts it in net, posts a hat trick. No time to even bite a nail. I guess Backstrom cares about my manicure?
If the chances of seeing a hat trick are 1 in 18, does that mean that this game has exhausted all hat tricks for the remainder of the playoffs? Keep in mind I'm bad at math.

Star names you: 1. Backstrom 2. Andrei Kostitsyn, the Belarusian Bomber 3. Ovechkin

Plus/Minus: because I already made that Phantom of the Opera picture

Hmmm... we've been a little MIA again. I guess we should have told you guys that we're bad at keeping promises. Which reminds me, I've got friends still waiting on a homemade lasagna dinner that I promised, um, two? three? years ago. Maybe I should have got that over with before I became lactose intolerant.
The Habs of this last week remind me of the Habs I knew when I first started watching regular games, what with all the roster changes and everything. It's a little off-putting now that I've become accustomed to the normally rock-solid Jacques Martin rosters, but I kind of feel nostalgic wondering who'll sit out and who'll be in net.

PLUS
+ To Pat Hickey for writing a touching article about Pat Burns that can only be described as "Dave Stubbs caliber." (I figure the plus for Pat Burns doesn't need to be mentioned, because if you think it's not automatically there, then, um, I'm smarter than you?)
+ to Carey Price's dad.
+ Congrats, Pleks, on 100 goals.
+ Speaking of goals, we saw some pretty good stuff from Gionta this week, and I'm thisclose to throwing another "Giontastic" out there, because that goal on Vokoun was quite, well, y'know...
+ I like it when Dennis Kane shares his many, many awesome stories about being a Habs fan in and out of Montreal, and cutting a CH logo into the grass behind his house might be my favourite one yet.
+ I'm not sure if I'd actually do this at my wedding, but future Senators wife Carrie Underwood has decided to forgo a wedding cake at her reception in favour of cupcakes. Sure, it seems a little trendy, but it's kind of cute.
+ ETA: I can't believe I forgot this, but a huge plus goes out to 30 Rock and Paula Pell, who wrote last week's episode featuring the lamest, most hilarious, Juno-nominated Ottawa Senators hype song as performed by Cheyenne Jackson's character (who is from Ottawa). If you're American you can watch the episode here. If you're Canadian like us, um, no luck. NBC.com doesn't love us yet.


MINUS
- Seriously? The likelihood that we've seen good guy Glen Metropolit in a Habs jersey for the last time isn't something I like to think about.
- Travis Moen's face.
- Jack Todd is a great writer. And that's the main reason why it pisses me off that he's still complaining about our goalie situation, as he's been doing for months. He's head counselor at Camp Carey Boo. I would say "it's getting old" but honestly, this act was already old when 2010 started. It's always the same story. Maybe if we're lucky, next week Mr. Todd will talk about Avatar or Kanye West's "Imma let you finish" rant.
- To myself (this is an overdue plus from last week). The Paralympics came and went, and I didn't write a single thing about sledge hockey.

Happy Passover and Easter, dear readers. And happy second-to-last week of the season! I wish you many points and no more injuries. And an excellent new episode of Lost tomorrow!

Think Of Me

I meant to blog earlier, but your day kind of gets messed up when you go to pick up the morning paper, eyes still half-closed, and are greeted with a front-page picture of Travis Moen's busted-up face.

Okay, yes, I know it must probably suck more to be Moen and almost lose an eye and require three layers of stitches, but still, think of the children. And me.

Can someone try to fashion him some kind of Phantom of the Opera thing to wear, at least off ice? I'm sure it's good for misdirection during game time, but other than that...

I think it would work. (Better than my Photoshop skills, at least.) I promise not to sing "Music of the Night" anymore!

Oh, and about that game: funny how a face injury can make a player even more intense than he previously was. Brian Gionta reminded us why he's maybe the awesomest dude ever. RDS' almost mocking comments of Tomas Vokoun were proven right, so I bet his self-esteem is off the charts right now. Oh, and imagine I'm ~czechtacular expressing glee at Tomas Plekanec's 100th career goal (empty net or no).

All in all, I think our team is ready for the playoffs. (Against a team other than Buffalo, I hope.) And yes, I think they're also ready for June and July to roll around so they can get some rest and avoid errant pucks and skate blades.

Plus/Minus: That's what Halak about you

It's a long Plus/Minus this week, boys and girls, but you'll want to read it to the end. What HASN'T happened since the last Plus/Minus? It was a busy enough week before Gainey stepped down, almost exactly 11 months after he fired Guy Carbonneau, but since we don't know what the aftermath of a GM change 60 games into the season will be, I'm not sure if I should plus or minus it.
Oh also, the Habs played a bunch of games and they were all really good and we won most of them.

Plus

+ I'd like to thank the Boston DJ for playing "That's What I Like About You" during OT. Is he/she aware of the Montreal hobby that is Halak puns? I didn't even have to think of a title this week!
+ Brian Gionta for his Giontastic finish to a great game against the Bruins, and his performance against the Penguins.
+ Usually when the Hamilton Bulldogs win a game, it's against like Manitoba or Binghamton... not the Pittsburgh Penguins. Our callups were fantastic on Saturday, even if two of them are now
+ Sergei Kostitsyn? You earned this plus. Good on you.
+ Ryan O'Byrne, who should have been in B.C. with his family, played some great hockey during a week when his mind was clearly elsewhere. Speaking of Ryan, remember how earlier I said you'd want to read this post the whole way through? Please do.
+ I don't usually give pluses to enemies, but Shawn Thornton? Clearly born to be a Bruin. You know you're playing for the right team when your mustache matches your uniform.
Superbowl + Carrie Underwood made it to the Super Bowl before Tony Romo! (joke courtesy of my big brother, who I'm pretty sure hates Tony Romo like I hate puckbunnies)

Minus

- Czechtacular would kill me if I didn't get mad at the Calgary Flames organization for trading Brandon Prust. I mean, sure they gave Christopher Higgins a new home and a damn haircut, and they finally unloaded that eyebrowless anchor (and horrible trade) most people call Olli Jokinen, but it's ridiculous that the Flames have traded him twice. What's with the Ross and Rachel treatment? The worst part of this is that I'm pretty sure this trade is permanent. He's young, energetic, and can throw a punch. I hate to say it, but the Rangers are going to love having him.
- Poor Patrice Cormier. I guess kids have to learn from his example and start listening to their parents: do your homework, eat your veggies, and don't hit the other kids, otherwise you'll get traded to the Thrashers with a busload of other guys.
- To Réjean Tremblay of La Presse for turning on Mike Cammalleri almost as quickly after his injury as the whole Internet turned on Taylor Swift after the Grammys. Too bad Tremblay had little more to offer than two paragraphs.
- Serious lack of people dressed up as Green Man at the Canucks game. What gives, people?
- You know how Facebook tries to specifically target you in sidebar ads?

EPIC FAIL.

- How Jeff Carter skated away from this without a penalty is beyond me.
Superbowl - The post-Superbowl timeslot used to be a big deal for networks. Once a show knew that it would be on after the Superbowl, its writers would pull out all the stops to write an episode worthy of North America's biggest audience. CBS aired a bunch of promos for their CSI's and NCIS's during the big game, but opted to premiere "Undercover Boss" instead of giving the honur to one of their scripted shows. Yes, "Undercover Boss." Good job, CBS.


This is the last week that the Canadiens will play, before we focus on the Canadians. So we've got about seven more days of Habs coverage, which sounds like just the right amount of time for a good-girl initiative.
As I mentioned before, Ryan O'Byrne had a very good week despite mourning his mother on the opposite side of the country. How about, as fans, we give something back? For every comment you all leave us on our posts, starting with this one and ending with the next Plus/Minus, I'll donate $2 to the Canadian Cancer Society. Two dollars doesn't sound like a lot, but if you guys have lots to say, it'll add up.

Superman returns: Game Preview 12-28-09

He defies gravity. I'm not making this up.
Perhaps my title is jumping the gun a little, as there is (edit: was) a chance Brian Gionta may not lace up tonight as planned, but his optimism is a good sign. Roman Hamrlik, for his part, probably won't be ready until the Habs hit Florida. He and Paul Mara were kept on the ice the longest today, according to the report on CJAD this afternoon. Back in the nation's capital, where many traveling Habs' fans are bound to make the trip to tonight's matchup, the Sens are without captain Daniel Alfredsson, Nick Foligno, and (Rookie's "best friend") Jason Spezza, and are 5-5-0 in their last ten games.

St. Isidore-raised Benoit Pouliot plays his first career game in Ottawa tonight while Jaroslav Halak merits his fifth start in a row, looking to be five for five (but preferably not to be pelted with shots as he has been as of late. He's made a grand total of 180 saves over that stretch).

Insert Fancy Bullet Points Header Here

• My own "best friend" Alex Kovalev has been responsive to his Team Russia "snub" as of late, winning the game in the shootout for the Sens in Buffalo, 3-2.
• Recently-engaged Mike Fisher had the other goal in said shootout, and isn't just your regular everyday pretty-faced scoring threat. His two-way ability has one big highlight: physicality. He knows how to hit, when to hit, and who.
• Chris Neil brings the reverse argument to the table, providing his brand of intimidation with a scoring touch. Coming off a knee injury that kept him out 14 games, he scored in his second game back. One of his other four goals this season was in the last game against Montreal.
• Jarkko Ruutu is also an underestimated offensive threat, particularly in the shootout.
• You thought I'd forget him, didn't you? Milan Michalek leads the team with 16 goals, two of them shorthanded.