Plus/Minus: How do I even...

This has been a stressful week. Like, break your "no crying in hockey" rule kind of stressful. I think I'll write two sets of Plus/Minus, to be able to better concentrate on hockey outside of what happened during that Bruins game. So, I'll start with the Max injury and then take it from there. My apologies in advance, as it was kind of an eventful week for Habs fans and I have a lot to say.

PLUS: THE BRIGHT SIDE (IF ANY) OF PAC'S INJURY

+ Everyone who has had the stones to admit that enough is enough and hockey players have to stop being sent to the hospital, including but not limited to the bosses at Air Canada, Geoff Molson, and especially Joe Thornton and Henrik Sedin, whose opinions will be discussed at large and may even have consequences.
+ I was hoping that a widely respected NHL legend would have his say about concussions and player safety. Mario Lemieux made a statement a while back, but didn't really make a difference. Enter Ken Dryden. He wrote a well-researched article for the Globe and Mail and will hopefully turn some heads. You can't argue with his facts.
+ Dave Stubbs for vehemently arguing that Mike Murphy got it wrong, and that it was the hit itself that was dangerous, yet for reeling in his passion just enough to still sound educated and rational.

+ Max Pacioretty probably shouldn't be using a computer, but his Twitter account kind of warms my heart. He's been so polite and thankful for the outpouring of love that fans have sent him. Of course we would. And, the comments that he made regarding Chara's non-suspension, made public by Bob McKenzie, took a lot of courage. I'm grateful that my team drafted such a talented player who's capable of expressing his opinions in an eloquent, level-headed way.
+ As soon as the hit happened and in the hours that followed, there was a decent number of Maple Leafs fans who reached out to Habs fans and basically said they were on our side. Because sometimes a long-standing rivalry isn't as important as the teams in it.
+ If you aren't moved by this personal, fabulously written letter to Max Pacioretty, you might be a robot. Not the good kind.

MINUS: BECAUSE PAC IS HURT AND NOW EVERYTHING SUCKS

- Everyone who thinks that Habs fans are overreacting. How can you not think that a 22-year-old man being sent to the hospital is a big deal? How can you make fun of the fans who felt sick when he lay there on the ice, unconscious? The sheer amount of disrespect I've seen from some people is discouraging. They're giving hockey fans a bad name. I want nothing to do with them, and yet I have no choice, just because we watch the same sport. I could go on and on about this.
- "The kid - what's his name? He's got a headache today." Don Cherry spoke about this issue on HNIC and did not know Max Pacioretty's name. I know he has a lot of names to remember, but if you're going to talk about one of the week's biggest stories, at least ask someone to Google the guy's name. It seems like Don Cherry gets stupider every week, and he's paid by a Crown corporation. Our tax dollars are paying the salary of a man who has no sympathy for the very sport that gave him a career, and who can't be bothered to learn the most basic thing he'd need to know about a segment.

- No suspension. No remorse. No sympathy from the league. I almost had a fit (at work) when I heard the news.
- It seems trivial, but one thing that really disappointed me about the hit that no one has really talked about was that it completely ruined the momentum of what was a good hockey game. Lars Eller was having a spectacular game, Ryan White showed just how much energy and passion he brings to the ice... and then Chara ruined it by taking out another young Hab who had played some fantastic games and finally found his role on this team.

Okay, now that that's over:

PLUS: OUTSIDE OF THE INCIDENT

+ 2 Oh, Los Angeles Kings. It's weeks like this that you need a West Coast team to take you away from the hockey news you can't hear anymore (most of the time). They won three games this week and inched up to 4th place in the Western Conference, yay! Also Anze Kopitar scored a hat trick, handing the Kings one of those wins.
+ As I mentioned, Lars Eller and Ryan White, among others, had a great game on Tuesday.

+ No one missed Matt D'Agostini when he was traded last year. As much as I hate watching the Habs lose, his safety goal for the Blues on Thursday night was proof that some people should not have wished him good riddance (which isn't to say that I don't like the Habs the way they are). That being said, the St. Louis fanbase has been taking good care of him, and I'm happy to see it.
+ So first, Carey Price does his Boss pose in Pittsburgh. Then, Marc-André Fleury tries to imitate the Boss pose in Montreal. Then, Fleury gets replaced by Brent Johnson. It was just a teensy bit funny is all. Do we have a real goalie rivalry on our hands?
+ Paul Mara's beard.

MINUS: OUTSIDE OF THE INCIDENT

RJ, you're making it very difficult not to hate you.

- I'm trying not to think about Drew Doughty getting hit by RJ Umberger and how similar it was to Max's hit, and how knowing the hit had happened didn't make it any easier to watch. Thank goodness he was able to return to play.
- I'm just gonna come right out and say it: rude Penguins fans. I'm not saying they're all rude, because I'm certain that that's not the case, but some of them have said some pretty ridiculous things about the Habs. You'd think they wouldn't want to be like Flyer fans.

The Habs are back at the Bell Centre. It'll be a fresh start. Anyone interested in attending the peaceful demonstration outside the Bell is most welcome to, and to anyone attending the game: when you see MaxPac in the opening video, give him a cheer on my behalf.

How to promote a Winter Classic

Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge fan of The Price Is Right. (I'm not even kidding, I make fun of the people who don't understand the games, and I freak out when someone wins a car.) I'm just not sure that a dull, pretaped segment on a daytime game show is the best way to get people to watch the Winter Classic if they aren't already hockey fans.

Last year, watching Marc Savard and Scott Hartnell was somewhat painful, so my expectations were pretty low for this year. I was right. Jeremy Roenick injected a bit of life into the showcase presentation due to the fact that he isn't as dull as the average hockey player. (And some people complain about players with too mcuh personality. Go figure.) Alexander Ovechkin looked a little bored reading off the cue cards, and Sidney Crosby looked more uncomfortable than Brian Gionta did that time he had to speak French. Maybe, if we're trying to bring in a new audience for NHL hockey, we shouldn't be exposing the fact that the league's biggest star isn't good at talking on camera. (You know who is, though? Jonathan Toews. I'm just saying.)

They don't seem to have that problem on HBO's 24/7, which I'm enjoying very much. So I'm not going to complain about the way this game is promoted on cable. Network TV, however, is a whole other story.

First of all, if you want to promote The Bridgestone NHL Winter Classic, January 1st on NBC!!! why are you on CBS? Why aren't you taking advantage of the fact that NBC viewers already know what Heinz Field looks like?

Maybe you've heard of it... highest-rated show for the 15th consecutive Sunday
(despite the worst opening theme ever)

I know NBC wouldn't go the whole nine and make Ovechkin guest-star as a Russian henchman on Chuck, and that both teams couldn't team up with The Lonely Island for a video called "I'm On A Boat (Going To Heinz Field)", but a really short spot (or a series of commercials) on Sunday Night Football would do the trick. Look, I even wrote a poorly formatted script and everything!

EXT. HEINZ FIELD - DAY. 
BEN ROETHLISBERGER and a few of his PITTSBURGH STEELERS teammates are on the sidelines during practice, drinking from their water bottles or tossing balls around between drills.

TROY POLAMALU

Who are those guys? Hockey players?

The entire WASHINGTON CAPITALS team, wearing their jerseys, walk on to the field in slow motion.

ALEX OVECHKIN

Hey, guys.

BROOKS LAICH

We're going to be playing here in a few weeks.

Can you show us around?

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

Sure. Hey, aren't you Brooks Laich?

BROOKS LAICH

Yeah. Nice to meet you.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

I heard you helped out some lady fans 

who had car trouble last spring.

BROOKS LAICH

Yeah, it was dark out and these two women 

wearing Caps jerseys had a flat tire. 

I changed it for them.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

...and then what did you do?

BROOKS LAICH

I drove away.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

That's it?

CUT TO BLACK.

A huge between-rounds edition of Plus Minus

(I'm aware that the second round has now begun, and this has been a work-in-progress for a while... I had no idea when to post this. Go Sharks! Or Red Wings!)


A hell of a week round, this was. What DIDN'T happen? TV is gearing up for sweeps, I spotted a man who looked like he might have been Larry Robinson (maybe), I spotted a man who looked like he might have been Paul Mara (but with short beard and longer hair... I almost spoke to him but his beard wasn't "super epic and unmistakeable" as ~czechtacular would say), I went to the amazing Olympic parade and touched a women's hockey gold medal and spoke ever so briefly to a Stanley Cup winner, I had a great birthday during which the Canadiens were not knocked out of the playoffs, and my #1 team eliminated the Eastern Conference's #1 team. Thus, this week's Plus Minus is equally huge.

BETTER THAN HAVING A PARADE ON YOUR BIRTHDAY
+ It goes without saying that the Habs in general have made me prouder than a valedictorian's mommy at graduation: a solid PK, a stronger, more defensive outing in Game 5, a mind-blowing game 6, and an awesome Game 7.
+ Is it scandalous if I say that I approve of putting Carey Price in net for two games against the Caps? Think about it: those games gave Halak the rest he needed to be superhuman again, and proved that Price has still got it.
+ Dan Boyle made the most embarrassing mistake a hockey player could make, and then compensated beautifully with a fantastic goal the following game.
+ The Canadiens organization has a great initiative in letsretirethesejerseys.com. Instead of just sounding like poor little rich boys moaning that everyone's buying cheap jerseys, the website is informative, telling you how to spot a counterfeit jersey and explaining why you shouldn't buy one - shady labour practices and potential ties to organized crime, and the incentives of coupons and trade-ins certainly don't hurt (warning: they expire April 30th). The rest of the league has taken note.
+ Thanks to Friday's Olympic athlete parade, I'd like to reiterate how great it is to see awesome, talented, gracious athletes like Canada's 2010 Olympians. Aside from the men's hockey team, Olympic athletes don't get much exposure outside of the Games, but their hard work warrants it. They had a great crowd cheering for them, and I was happy to be in that crowd. (Except when that old man hit me in the chest. Gross.)
+ Our buddies over at TheCheckingLine ran a great liveblog on Friday... more of a chat than a liveblog, but when fans are having this much fun, who cares about semantics?
+ After Game 7, Brooks Laich saw a fan and her daughter waiting for roadside assistance (by the highway, in the dark), got out of his car, and changed a tire for them.

WORSE THAN PATRICK KANE'S MULLET

- Poor Eric Belanger. I don't think I like the guy very much, but he lost seven teeth in one game. And he pulled at least one of those out by himself. Hockey players are tough, but there's a limit. He gets a plus, though, for sheer badassery.
- The recent demonizing of Alexander Ovechkin, especially by Habs fans. Sure, he sprayed some snow on a kid and didn't even pat him on the head as he skated by. Sure, he didn't give some other kid an autograph. Sure, it's kind of a bad thing that these two things happened in the same week, but it doesn't necessarily make him a bad guy. It's completely unnecessary backlash. (Heck, my request for a picture with Scott Niedermayer was refused on my birthday, and I don't mind. I'm sure I'm not the first person who's asked him for something, and I won't be the last.)
- Spacek is still sick? Where did he catch this thing? Is it biological warfare?

- Ron McLean's response to a spandex-clad Green Girl in his studio is... ew. That's all I have to say, is "ew.'
- Is there anyone in sports journalism more petulant than Jack Todd? The Habs forced a Game 6 on home ice against the league's best team. And all Jack Todd discussed on Monday was Scott Gomez's face and Carey Price's fans. Really, that's all the material he had? You'd think Canwest would start cutting unnecessary costs in these crappy economic times, and Negative Jones' column/bitchfest would be one of them. But no, he's still getting paid to write, if you can call it that.

It starts tomorrow. There will be cupcakes.

Plus/Minus: about a team that's got more energy than I do

This Plus/Minus is a little bit late and a little bit low-fi, and you readers deserve much better than that, but LA happened, then Continental Airlines happened with their red-eye flights and insanely boring inflight movie that bored me nearly to the point of sleep (but not quite, unfortunately), then jetlag happened, then sleep-deprived 18-hour days including work and workouts happened, then daylight savings time happened, costing me more sleep, and now I'm quite sure I have a cold.
So be forewarned, there are no colours, and I haven't proofread. It's like improv! Unscripted! Like Twitter, only longer!
... Nope, there's no way to make it sound fun. Please don't hate me.


PLUS

I had no choice but to yoink this from Habs I/O, as it's just the cutest thing ever aside from kittens

+ 6: Habs winning = happy Montreal.

+ to the gentleman who coined "KilimanJaro": my favourite pun right now.

+ to the Bell Centre DJ's sense of humour: playing the Tragically Hip's "Courage" as injured Tomas Plekanec made his way off the ice during the Tampa game... somehow, the lyrics "It couldn't come at a worse time" seemed to fit pretty well.

+ Andrei Markov, in general.

+ For the next week or so, I say we call #31 "Big Haircut." I'm so happy I could cry.

+ Kathryn Bigelow has finally proven, once and for all, that ladies can play with the big boys. And that's what this blog is about: reminding people that girls kick ass. (Also, hockey.) So suck it, James Cameron. (I'm putting a minus within this plus for Alec Baldwin, who I'm a huge fan of, but if he really for some reason felt the need to congratulate Kathryn Bigelow by smacking her ass, he could've at least waited until the telecast ended.)

MINUS

- I usually hate people who whine after a player gets traded, but there aren't as many people lamenting Matt D'Agostini as there should be, so here's my two cents: I'm going to miss 36 because his trade (to the Blues, no less, one of the more forgettable teams in the league, no?) marks another step in the dissolution of a boys club that I happened to love. Dags, Kyle Chipchura, Greg Stewart, and Carey Price won the Calder Cup together and brought some much-needed rookie energy to the Habs last season and the year before. They were all good friends off the ice, and the fact that they're the same age as me made them seem relatable, I guess kind of like the way that francophones like seeing Habs that are quebecois pure laine. They were a little group that I could root for within my favourite team, and while I don't like it when teams are broken up into cliques that eventually lead to conflicts, it was kind of nice to have a little core of guys that I could relate to, that would've been at my elementary school if we were all born in the same city. But now that little group is gone, leaving only Carey. Don't get me wrong, both he and I love the players that are on the Habs' roster right now, but it's not quite the same as it used to be for me. (Not to mention that people complained about D'Agostini's productivity this season, somehow forgetting that he was gone for over a month and suffered a pretty serious concussion... everyone remembers that Andrei Kostitsyn wasn't so dynamite after his head injury last season, and everyone knows how he's doing now, a year later. So if D'Agostini happens to tear it up next season in St. Louis, I'll hate to say I told you so.)

- Did Maxim Lapierre really deserve a four-game suspension for his hit? It warranted punishment, definitely, but four games seems like an awful lot when compared to other nasty hits and their accompanying sanctions. Looking at you, Aaron Ward. And you, Mike Richards, who almost killed a dude (but I guess a lifetime of playing for the Flyers is punishment enough). Sure, Ovechkin got punished for a hit that turned out to be a lot more damaging than he meant to, but it's just further proof that

- To the wonderfully classy and intelligent gentlemen who showed up to the Oilers game in blackface and Afro wigs, with "Subbanator" written on their jerseys. Words cannot describe their stupidity, and I'm glad I'm not the only person who thinks they need to wear blackface a little more often so than passersby can throw eggs and other objects at them. (Props to Mike Boone for this gem: "Either bar those schmucks from the building or rename it the Jolson Centre.")

- What's with that suit jacket, Mike Cammalleri?

Plus/Minus: That's what Halak about you

It's a long Plus/Minus this week, boys and girls, but you'll want to read it to the end. What HASN'T happened since the last Plus/Minus? It was a busy enough week before Gainey stepped down, almost exactly 11 months after he fired Guy Carbonneau, but since we don't know what the aftermath of a GM change 60 games into the season will be, I'm not sure if I should plus or minus it.
Oh also, the Habs played a bunch of games and they were all really good and we won most of them.

Plus

+ I'd like to thank the Boston DJ for playing "That's What I Like About You" during OT. Is he/she aware of the Montreal hobby that is Halak puns? I didn't even have to think of a title this week!
+ Brian Gionta for his Giontastic finish to a great game against the Bruins, and his performance against the Penguins.
+ Usually when the Hamilton Bulldogs win a game, it's against like Manitoba or Binghamton... not the Pittsburgh Penguins. Our callups were fantastic on Saturday, even if two of them are now
+ Sergei Kostitsyn? You earned this plus. Good on you.
+ Ryan O'Byrne, who should have been in B.C. with his family, played some great hockey during a week when his mind was clearly elsewhere. Speaking of Ryan, remember how earlier I said you'd want to read this post the whole way through? Please do.
+ I don't usually give pluses to enemies, but Shawn Thornton? Clearly born to be a Bruin. You know you're playing for the right team when your mustache matches your uniform.
Superbowl + Carrie Underwood made it to the Super Bowl before Tony Romo! (joke courtesy of my big brother, who I'm pretty sure hates Tony Romo like I hate puckbunnies)

Minus

- Czechtacular would kill me if I didn't get mad at the Calgary Flames organization for trading Brandon Prust. I mean, sure they gave Christopher Higgins a new home and a damn haircut, and they finally unloaded that eyebrowless anchor (and horrible trade) most people call Olli Jokinen, but it's ridiculous that the Flames have traded him twice. What's with the Ross and Rachel treatment? The worst part of this is that I'm pretty sure this trade is permanent. He's young, energetic, and can throw a punch. I hate to say it, but the Rangers are going to love having him.
- Poor Patrice Cormier. I guess kids have to learn from his example and start listening to their parents: do your homework, eat your veggies, and don't hit the other kids, otherwise you'll get traded to the Thrashers with a busload of other guys.
- To Réjean Tremblay of La Presse for turning on Mike Cammalleri almost as quickly after his injury as the whole Internet turned on Taylor Swift after the Grammys. Too bad Tremblay had little more to offer than two paragraphs.
- Serious lack of people dressed up as Green Man at the Canucks game. What gives, people?
- You know how Facebook tries to specifically target you in sidebar ads?

EPIC FAIL.

- How Jeff Carter skated away from this without a penalty is beyond me.
Superbowl - The post-Superbowl timeslot used to be a big deal for networks. Once a show knew that it would be on after the Superbowl, its writers would pull out all the stops to write an episode worthy of North America's biggest audience. CBS aired a bunch of promos for their CSI's and NCIS's during the big game, but opted to premiere "Undercover Boss" instead of giving the honur to one of their scripted shows. Yes, "Undercover Boss." Good job, CBS.


This is the last week that the Canadiens will play, before we focus on the Canadians. So we've got about seven more days of Habs coverage, which sounds like just the right amount of time for a good-girl initiative.
As I mentioned before, Ryan O'Byrne had a very good week despite mourning his mother on the opposite side of the country. How about, as fans, we give something back? For every comment you all leave us on our posts, starting with this one and ending with the next Plus/Minus, I'll donate $2 to the Canadian Cancer Society. Two dollars doesn't sound like a lot, but if you guys have lots to say, it'll add up.