Plus/Minus is not hiding out in the locker room

I guess I needed a few days off from hockey to stop squeeing with excitement at all of the winning. And to catch up on everything on my DVR.

Yes, that is where Scott Gomez goes when he goes to work

PLUS
+ I had a great time at the FestiFan today. I got to visit some areas of the Bell Centre that are usually off-limits to lowly fan-blogger-folk like me, and see the NHL tablecloth that goes under the Stanley Cup! (You may not know how much I want a tablecloth like that.) And Michel Lacroix told me I was prettier than the people who usually keep him company in the penalty box. Doesn't every girl want to hear that she's prettier than Zdeno Chara?

+ Andrei Kostitsyn might have to take up baking, because his haters need a plate of humble pie.
+ Okay, okay. I reluctantly give a Plus to Erik Cole because maybe he has a purpose.
+ Steven Stamkos scored a hat trick! Matt Duchene scored a hat trick! (So did a Bruin but whatever.)
+ Parks and Recreation has found the right balance of hilarity and heart. If the entire "End of the World" episode isn't proof of that, then you need to watch it - and the Halloween episode - again.

MINUS

- Rangers fans chanting "USA! USA!" at Madison Square Garden. Um, what? Why? Our captain is from the same place as your captain, and your goals (except for that BS empty-netter) were scored by Canadians.
- Terrible, terrible penalty calls in the game against the Rangers.
- I had to wait a month to watch Fox's Tuesday comedy lineup again... and I was kind of disappointed.

Can someone please help me find enough tea to calm down Czechtacular for the week, what with the Oilers and the Phoenix? She may go insane.

Plus/Minus gets cut in half

So, the Habs are back home. And I'm so happy to have them back home that I've decided to not give out any Minuses this week. I know, I know, it's the blogging equivalent of a burger without fries, but we could all use a little less negativity. I might have reason to dole out some Minuses, but I won't. So, Plus/Minus this week is only Plus.

(Consider yourself lucky, Mike Cammalleri. I saw that suit you wore to the home opener. That would have been a Minus. You looked like Gatsby.)

PLUS

+ People cheering for Andrei Kostitsyn during the home opener!
+ Two Habs goals in less than a minute? Yeah, I'll take it. Even if the Habs did lose to Colorado.
+ Travis Moen is a goal-scoring machine. (And that right there is not words I ever thought I'd put together.)
+ The gentleman who wore a Gordie Howe jersey to the Bell Centre on Saturday. Howe was neither a Hab nor an Avalanche(?)*, but, there's no such thing as the wrong hockey game for a Gordie Howe jersey.

+ There was a slightly old-school vibe to the Bell Centre on Saturday night. Lots of organ music and the occasional old song? I know the Bell Centre is too new to have that kind of history, but I kind of wish I could have seen the days when hockey games were attended by people that could truly be referred to as ladies and gentlemen.

+ I hate to say it, but Jeremy Roenick's controversial comments about Sidney Crosby and the obsession with his progress (or lack thereof) were spot-on. Crosby will play when he's ready to play. Until then, there are literally hundreds of other players in the NHL who also exist, whose accomplishments, shortcomings, injuries and misfortunes could be discussed or written about.
+ Congratulations, Ryan Nugent-Hopkins, on scoring a goal for each of your names.



TV + I love how every character relationship on Parks and Recreation works so differently, and so well. The Donna-Tom "Treat Yo Self" storyline worked so well that I now want to treat myself. (Czechtacular and I don't have the money to become cashmere-velvet candy canes, but we're gonna dip into the Hab It Her Way Manicure Fund and get our nails done. Treat yo self.) And I always like seeing Leslie and Ron interact. The characters just work so well together.
+ Probably the best episode of Happy Endings this season aired on Wednesday. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to sing along to "Torn" again.


I've been to two Canadiens games so far and it's only the week after Thanksgiving. That is a huge Plus.
Now, about that 100th win, Carey...

* What is the singular of "Avalanche"? Can I just call one of them an Av, or a snowflake, or what?

Rookie tries fantasy hockey.

So this is what it's like to build a team.
Except Gauthier is a vegetarian and I love chicken wings, so not really.

I recently joined a hockey pool for the first time, and learned that "fantasy hockey" isn't those dreams I have where Josh Gorges makes me waffles and we watch Arrested Development together. (Did I just blog that out loud?)

My draft was yesterday, and it was every bit as stressful as my fantasy football draft a few weeks ago. I'm guessing that all the grumbling and the yelling and the loud noises and rise in blood pressure are normal when drafting a fantasy team?

In any case, here's the lineup for Every Day I'm Byfuglien:

FORWARDS
Evgeni Malkin, Pittsburgh. He scores lots of goals and gets lots of penalties. I get points for both of those things. Plus, I was confused about whether to take him, Stamkos, Ovechkin, or Henrik Sedin. So I took the guy who tweeted a picture of his cat.

Jonathan Toews, Chicago. Because he's Jonathan Toews.

Tomas Plekanec, Montreal. I don't think I get points for faceoffs, so that's a Plus for Pleks. I have a good feeling about him this season.

Dustin Brown, Los Angeles. He's good all-around, and he's a King. I went for Brown since Doughty and Kopitar were snatched out from under me.

Andrei Kostitsyn, Montreal. Yeah, I took a gamble on Andrei. Most people don't believe in him, but he can do great things during contract seasons. And if he doesn't do a lot of scoring, he'll probably get in trouble, and I'll get points for PIMs.

He was really excited when I picked him

Shane Doan, Phoenix. So, Jarome Iginla was taken. And then two picks before I was going to take Evander Kane (the baby Jarome Iginla), he got drafted. So I took Shane Doan, who, like Iginla, is a great player and a great captain. Also, whenever I'm in doubt, I just think of what players Czechtacular likes. (I'm still her protégée, no matter what she says.)

Joe Pavelski, San Jose. He's good during the regular season, right?

Brian Gionta, Montreal. My captain. Why not?

Devin Setoguchi, Minnesota. Remember how on Friends, Chandler always went back to Janice? I think Setoguchi is my Janice. So many things have happened that should have made me stop liking him: The Sharks have lost in the playoffs when they were supposed to win the Cup. I've seen him wear Ed Hardy. He got married and didn't tell me. He joined Twitter, was boring, then quit because it was "too distracting," only to come back after he'd been traded to Minnesota. Through it all, I still like him. This isn't healthy. Don't let me down again, Devin.

DEFENSE

Brent Burns, on the fantasy hockey campaign trail

Brent Burns, San Jose. The trade to San Jose is supposed to be really good for him, right?

Nicklas Lidstrom, Detroit. He's Nick freaking Lidstrom. He's good at everything.

Jack Johnson, Los Angeles. Okay, so I got another King. He's a badass.

Cam Fowler, Anaheim. I took him because everyone says to take Cam Fowler in fantasy hockey.

UTILITY GUYS
Theo Peckham, Edmonton. He gets penalty minutes. And that mustache.

Brooks Laich, Washington. He didn't become a Hab this summer, so this is the closest I'll get to having him on my team. Should I re-name my team As You Laich It?

BENCH (OR WHATEVER "BN" STANDS FOR)
Mason Raymond, Vancouver. (aka, The Opposite of Name-Dropping) Okay, so he's broken. But when he's fixed, even if he doesn't come back 100%, he'll still be damn fast.

James Wisniewski, Columbus. He's good at hockey. I remember that much from last year. (The rest is all a blur, stained by tears over player injuries and Saku Koivu's return to the Bell Centre.)

Michael Ryder, Dallas. At first this was Teddy Purcell in Tampa Bay, but Ryder apparently had an incredible preseason and will be getting lots of ice time. Or so I'm told by someone who actually pays attention to the Dallas Stars.

GOALIES

Jonathan Quick, Los Angeles. By the time I got to this pick (second round, 16th overall, I think?) all of last year's top 5 goalies had been taken. Except maybe Tim Thomas, but I guess I forgot about him and I'm better off with no Bruins as long as fantasy hockey isn't cursed like football is, in which case I'd have drafted Brad Marchand twice just to ensure some kind of dumbass injury. But I digress. Quick would have been my backup goalie, so I took him first, thinking of that insane shutout he posted against the Red Wings last year.

Corey Crawford, Chicago. Considering how he played last season, I'm lucky to have him on my team. I feel like we should be referring to Crawford as "the next ________" but I don't know who to compare him to.

Ondrej Pavelec, Winnipeg. The ThrashJets are going to be better than they were last year, simply because they'll have fan support, and Pavelec was already really good. Also, he's Czech.

So, there you have it. A team with a punny name, filled with players who are good at hockey (right?) and who I like (except for Cam Fowler, because who's dis guy?).

Now comes the next step: figuring out how this fantasy sports thing works.

Plus/Minus: Trade deadline is over

Hopefully my thoughts on the last week will be even a little bit cohesive. Turning the trade deadline into a drinking game was a bad idea on my part. The stress caused by Ryan White being told not to practice, then sent to Hamilton, then returned to the Habs mere hours later, was not my fault at all. (The rumour that Jarred Tinordi was traded is also not cool.)

PLUS

Go Bulldogs!

+ 3 What a game against the Canucks! A plus to Andrei Kostitsyn for finally busting out of his funk and putting some points on the board this week. And the biggest Stanley Cup contender in the league lost a game because of two of its shortest players. Fantastic goals by Gionta and Desharnais.
+ I'm looking forward to closing out the season with Brent Sopel. He knows what it's like to make a Stanley Cup run and above all he's a good guy.
+ Ryan O'Byrne had hisface sliced open on the ice, and finished his shift. I think it's really unfortunate (and yes, a little bit gross) that the injury had to happen, but O'B gets a few Chuck Norris points for this incident.
+ Great game by the Hamilton Bulldogs at the Bell Centre on Friday. Goals by new hire Nigel Dawes, my boy JT Wyman, and Aaron Palushaj (who's some kind of Bell Centre scoring machine).

MINUS

I have a couple more of these if anyone's interested

- I hate spelling mistakes. Especially when a professional journalist makes the same typo over and over and over again. I'll overlook it once or twice, but Francois Gagnon didn't notice after he typed "Cancuks" the twentieth time?
- I'm not good with trades, to be honest. So even though I knew that Ben Maxwell wasn't the guy to lead the Canadiens to a Stanley Cup victory, I'm going to miss him. Until I see him tomorrow in Atlanta and will have to cheer for my Habs.
- Mike Komisarek should get slapped for hitting Tomas Plekanec.
- Habs fans: Haven't we been through this before? You don't boo your own players. How can you hate Alex Auld when he's only started a handful of games?
- That being said, yes, I know. Phil Kessel and Brett Lebda scored goals and the Leafs beat the Habs. It sucks.

At least this week we won't have to deal with the stress of a Brad Richards rumour every other minute.

Plus/Minus is not going to make a "Boxing Day" pun

Hope you all had a great Christmas, even if you don't celebrate it. Plus/Minus is a little short this week because sometimes I talk too much, so I'm giving my dear readers the gift of brevity.

PLUS

+ It's always nice when Team Canada wins their first game. This applies to both the World Juniors and the Spengler Cup, where former Hab Glen Metropolit is playing for Canada. (Bonus plus: I now kind of know what the Spengler Cup is!)
+ David Desharnais named AHL's First Star of the Week!
+ Andrei Kostitsyn scored a goal, to shut up all the haters. And Alexandre Picard has been making himself useful as well, which I guess should shut me up.

MINUS

- Lost to the New York Islanders. You know what hurts? Watching your Habs lose to the Islanders, then seeing the highlights three times on Sportscentre.
- Okay, I take it back. That probably didn't hurt as much as whatever mystery ailment is plaguing Josh Gorges. I've known for a while that things aren't going well for Josh, but now he isn't playing well, and Dave Stubbs reported that he left practice limping. I do not like any of this. At all.
- I almost forgot about that game against the Dallas Stars, but then I remembered. I wish I hadn't. (Aside: Conan was really funny that night, as I found out the next day.)
- I wasn't going to complain about anything I saw on 24/7, because I didn't want the show to hold back. But Matt Hendricks' bloody eye was a little tough to look at for extended periods of time. And Crosby's cup was the kind of thing that would have made me nauseous, if I hadn't known about it in advance and shielded my eyes.

What awesome Christmas gifts did you all get? Or give?
I went for a walk early last week in the cold (I just needed to move a bit and clear my mind), spent some time wandering around Centennial Plaza, and got the sniffles a few days later. The Montreal Canadiens are no good at Christmas presents.

Plus/Minus: Cool as ice

Somehow this Plus/Minus is longer than the two games the Canadiens played this week. And considering how long that Devils game felt, that's saying something. I took a break from it to watch The Office and I doubt I missed a single thing.

PLUS

+ Andrei Kostitsyn: holy crap. I wish Statistics Canada could give us stats on how many people got rid of their #46 shirts before this season and now regret it.
+ I almost want to give Carey Price two pluses: One for playing so well, even though one of this week's shutouts didn't belong to him, and the other for giving me the kind of happiness that only comes from giving Carey Price a plus every week.
+ Steve Bégin has a job!! Proud of him.
+ Did you guys see Marc Denis on TSN? He was much more focused and articulate than I've ever seen him on French TV. He gets a plus for keeping it together in a language that isn't his first, on a network that has slightly higher standards than RDS.
+ Building another rink for kids to skate on. Canadiens > municipal government.
+ Elsewhere in the league: hat tricks! Daniel Alfredsson (scoring his 1000th NHL point), Brad Richardson led the LA Kings to a win (matching the #GoKings' win in the Twitter hashtag battle for charity) and John Tavares and Lee Stempniak scored their first NHL hat tricks. (It's OK, Stemps isn't a Leaf anymore.)

GONE

+ If you're a Flyers fan, savour this moment for all it's worth. I may never give a Plus to a Flyer ever again. But Scott Hartnell has truly earned this Plus for donating his hair to Locks of Love. There's a sick little kid somewhere who's going to love his or her new wig, no matter whose hair it contains. And anyone who's cut their long hair really short knows that you notice when it's gone.

MINUS

- We had to wait 5 (FIVE!) days between Canadiens games.
- And then not a single goal against the Devils.
- Did I mention that I didn't see last Saturday's game, so I actually went six days between games?
- Now that Dave Morissette, giant teddy bear and BFF of PJ Stock, has left RDS, all the network has going for it is, um, Pierre Houde. And ok, Guy Carbonneau too. What are the odds that they'll hire someone else I like, or fire pretty much anyone not mentioned here?

Is there anyone left in this picture worth watching?

- Speaking of RDS: Alain Crete. The jacket. Again.- Does Mike Boone think that the Four Habs Fans are holding auditions for a #5? In the last week alone, he ripped off their "capitalize the CH wherever possible" thing, imitated the style of their Morning Skate posts, and talked about hoochies ice girls. It's not funny when Boone does it. Do what you're paid to do, guy.
- You know what? It's not even worth writing about all this "Rick Rypien attacks a fan" business. If you didn't already know that you should accept the consequences of your actions, now you do. The "fan" got a little shaken up (literally) after getting out of his seat to shout at an already angry hockey player. Rick Rypien let out his frustrations on someone other than an opponent. Whatever. And, by the way, it seems a little strange to me that the "victim" gave his statement to the NHL, then went crying to the press, and THEN went looking for legal representation after that. Then again, I am neither a lawyer nor a lawsuit-happy opportunist, so what do I know?
- Edmonton: good job getting cheerleaders. You know, because having three of the most talked-about rookies in the league isn't going to help you sell tickets. Taylor who? People go to hockey games for the skanks, right?

Not sure if this is a plus or minus
Did anyone else notice, in his pre-Senators game interview, Tom Pyatt's hair made him look a little bit like Vanilla Ice?

Plus/Minus: Second verse, same as the first

The Canadiens have played their first home game. It's officially too late for your pre-opener Bell Centre shopping trip. (I had to make my trip all by myself for the first time ever this year. I was indecisive and trying to stick to a budget. It wasn't my finest hour.)
It was a pretty good week for the team. Most of them, that is. I can't necessarily say the same for people who do not play for the Montreal Canadiens.


PLUS

+ This is a very general plus: winning. 5 out of a potential 6 points is not too shabby.
+ Is this the resurgence of Andrei Kostitsyn? Or does he have a sense of humour, and wanted to take advantage of the "Frère Andrei" puns?
+ Carey Price. I happened to see someone I know over the weekend who is a huge (and I mean huge) Price-hater. He didn't have anything to say about the goalie. Thank you so much for shutting him up, Carey. It means more to me than I can say.
+ The Carey Price-PK Subban postgame celebration. Someone on Youtube dubbed it a "triple low 5" which makes sense. I like it.
+ It was a very simple introduction, nothing really out of the ordinary for Montreal, but I really liked the home opener ceremony. It may not have been as regal as the LA Kings' home opener ceremony, for instance, but the Bell Centre treats every game like it's a big deal.
+ Good to hear that former Habs, Glen Metropolit and Matt D'Agostini, are putting up points for their new teams.


MINUS

FAIL

- The Lightning beat the Canadiens during their home opener, but get pummeled by the Panthers? The PANTHERS, really? Why couldn't Dan Ellis have been in net on Wednesday night?
- The Buffalo Sabres really pulled out all the stops for their 40th anniversary! And their fans were excited beyond belief!
- The men on RDS commenting on the relative lameness of the Sabres' anniversary celebration. Those of us at home, who are not on camera, can say whatever we want. If you're on TV, it might be nice to show just an ounce of professionalism.
- 3 The Canadiens organization told us they had three big announcements, but none of them are really that great.
First, fans can vote for the game's three stars, which is a nice initiative, but incredibly flawed.
Second, they launch a smartphone app, which is supposed to be news, even though pretty much anyone who's anyone already has an app on the market. Not to mention that it's not compatible with many smartphones - Android is the world's top-selling smartphone operating system, and yet the app is only compatible with two Android phones. TWO. Neither of which is the phone that both Czechtacular and I are using. But whatever, you get all the news (and more!) by following Dave Stubbs and All Habs on Twitter.
Third, a Bell exclusive Canadiens reality show. A few years ago, I might have thought this was a good idea. But I know better now. Nearly everyone in Montreal will recognize their favourite Canadien if they see him on the street or out shopping. We live in one of the biggest NHL cities. A reality show seems superfluous. If this show had never been filmed, I'd be okay with that. (I might watch it, but I probably won't enjoy it.)

There's no Canadiens game until Wednesday Thursday. What on earth will I talk about on Tuesday night's Game Points?
No, fate, that was not a challenge.

My 12: Rookie breaks her own rules

Usually I hate playing armchair GM. (Notable exceptions: my vocal desire to bring Jarome Iginla, Evgeni Malkin, Drew Doughty, and a few other players to Montreal. Ask Czechtacular how many times I've asked her if we could have a bake sale to help pay for a big-money contract.) However, at the request of some of my blogger friends, I'm attempting to make my picks for 12 forwards that I'd like to see at the season opener.

Disclaimer: This isn't who I think will make the team, just who I like. And yes, I know that I'm not the most qualified person to judge chemistry between linemates, but I'll do my best.

Let's get the obvious out of the way: The top two lines.

Michael Cammalleri & Tomas Plekanec - can't have a team without them. And they've shown how well they can play together (see? Me, talking about chemistry!)

Brian Gionta & Scott Gomez - as if I wouldn't put my captain and his sidekick on the same line.

Benoit Pouliot & Andrei Kostitsyn - I haven't decided which of these players would play on which line, but they'd both add a little size to either of the top two lines and help complete plays. Their potential motivation problems will hopefully be appeased a little bit by playing with guys who have experience and leadership skills.

The tricky stuff: Lines 3 and 4.

Jeff Halpern & Travis Moen - We bought Jeff Halpern for a reason. And there's no way Travis Moen isn't making this team, if he has the man-parts to take on NHL baby Erik Gudbranson. I'm naming them together because they're both sure bets, but they'd probably be on separate lines.

Tom Pyatt - He's great for our supporting cast, and Coach J-Mart loves him, so he's in. Maybe on Moen's line.

Ryan White - After everything I've said about him, how can I cut The Great White? He makes the team for sure, maybe on Halpern's line since Moen is capable of fighting five guys all by himself.

Maxim Lapierre - Only if he can be as good as he was at the end of the season. We have Ryan White now so he'd had better shape up, unless he wants to be replaced by the other Max.

Dustin Boyd - he's my affirmative action, "choose a player we traded for" pick. But, again, Pacioretty's waiting in the wings and he's just a bit bigger, so the Boyd had better bring it.

Players tend to get angry when you cut them

Pressbox boys: These two have pretty good chances of seeing lots of ice time, in case Pouliot needs a night in the pressbox or Lapierre underperforms. I choose Max Pacioretty, who I have a lot of faith in for this season, and Lars Eller, who I think would make more of an impact than the guys I'd send to Hamilton.

To Hamilton: Mathieu Darche isn't an absolute necessity for the Canadiens (PR purposes notwithstanding) but he might prove useful for a callup. Otherwise, the Bulldogs will need a guy with Darche's patience and experience. Ben Maxwell has been overshadowed by a lot of his peers, so I don't think I'd give him much time in Montreal. You never know, though, because he's been getting better, so I'd keep my eye on him just in case.

Plus/Minus makes its playoff debut

This was the week the Capitals, the best team in the NHL this season, had to put up a fight against the Canadiens, who sneaked into the postseason like it was an R-rated movie. Elsewhere in the NHL, some players showed what they were made of. Stars are rising and fans are getting even louder. I'm actually making an effort to write Plus/Minus on a Sunday evening like I always intend to. It's definitely playoff season.

PLUS

+ to whoever decided to put Geico's googley-eyed wad of money on a board behind Pierre McGuire stood in the Verizon Center this week. I'm not saying I noticed a resemblance every time I saw McGuire on TSN... except that's exactly what I'm saying.
+ Jaroslav Spacek has played two of his best games of the season.
+ A lot of people think that Jacques Martin hates Sergei Kostitsyn. But Sergei's been playing pretty well, and usually plays better when he thinks it counts, so I'm glad coach decided not to bench him.
+ Also that other K brother is pretty cool.
+ Vancouver's Green Men.
+ Andy Sutton is hilarious. He needs to be a little more careful about, y'know, not knocking out other players, but he gets this plus for being honest with an annoying reporter.


MINUS

- The new Sidney Crosby shoe commercial - proof that sometimes, you should just let the animators do their work and not bother with celebrity endorsements or awful catchphrases. My feet don't need an energy drink.
- People paid just a little too much attention to Plekanec and Theodore's comments about each other. Sure, it sounds like they're spitting out wicked burns, but it's also proof that sometimes things get blown out of proportion.
- The genius who wrote into the Gazette with basically another letter about the NHL, money and the ethnic vote. Apparently today's NHL players don't deal with the shame of having fans talk to them in public and just prance directly from the ice onto a plane back to the scary, scary foreign countries they call home. I'm sure that's exactly what it's like. Every player on the Habs' roster lives in Montreal, at the very least, from training camp to the end of their season. I'm sure that at some point during all these long months (sometimes away from their families, other times right in front of them) someone will stop them on the street with an opinion, or interrupt their meal for an autograph, snap a picture with their phone, or tweet about them. Sure, some players are more motivated than others, but it's racist, ignorant blowhards like the Jean-Maurice who wrote this letter that create the kind of environment nobody wants to play in.

First home game of the playoffs tomorrow... go crazy, Montreal. Actually, on second thought, don't.

Thoughts on Game 2

Huzzah! My laptop has found some Wi-Fi. And it's a hell of a game. A few end-of-period notes.

Manicure, consider yourself ruined.

So, after the first period:
As usual, we love our #21 and our #46. (And even those who don't... well, right now they do. Seriously. Check your Facebook and your Twitter if you don't believe me.)
A few scrapes during these first 20 minutes. First, José Théodore's ego got a little bruised. It must suck to get pulled after less than 10 minutes of play, but I guess this just wasn't his night. He pulled a little fit of frustration, but it wasn't as bad as the heinous bitch-fit I saw from J-S Giguère last winter. Then, Roman Hamrlik defended his net just a little too well, but didn't seem to sustain a major head injury from it. I'm a little more worried about Markov, who took a puck to the leg (either his knee or his shin). He looked like he was in pain, and a lot of people think he's already injured (he's been playing a little bit less superhumanly).
Watch out Habs, the Caps are getting it together and Ovie is angry.

After the second:
Mike Cammalleri caused a couple of penalties, but then got one of his own. Karma?
Andrei Kostitsyn is credited with two goals but only scores one. The Caps are only credited with one goal but really scored two.
Oh, and by the way, readers wearing hats, please take them off and throw them for Andrei (the "Belarusian Bomber"). It should have been raining hats.
Varlamov's earning his keep and Halak is... do I even need to end this sentence? Fantastical. Now if only Hal Gill could defend our net and screen the other one.

After the third:
I can't believe all that happened in just 20 minutes. I need a nap, a Zantac and maybe some electrolytes. Can I get a hit of that Gatorade, Jaro?
Well, it took five periods, but Ovechkin got his goal. It was pretty dirty, but Ovie gets the job done.
Speaking of Ovie, he tried to get up in Gionta's business after a huge, confusion around Varlamov's net. But no one messes with Brian Gionta, so we saw the resurrection of Scott Gomez, New York Ranger. He struggled a little, took down Tom Poti and skated to his 5-minute penalty, squinting like Clint Eastwood. (I seriously never thought I'd compare Gomez to Eastwood. Like, ever. Appreciate it, Scotty.)
Um, a whole bunch of goals, a moment of Plekanec/Cammalleri happiness (yes, even the toughest of athletes will hug like BFFs), and the game tied up at 5-5.
Jaro was not a happy camper by the end of this period. Maybe I should ask someone else for Gatorade.

Okay, next comes overtime. Will my stomach stop making noise?

Overtime
Over as quickly as it began. Backstrom gets puck, puts it in net, posts a hat trick. No time to even bite a nail. I guess Backstrom cares about my manicure?
If the chances of seeing a hat trick are 1 in 18, does that mean that this game has exhausted all hat tricks for the remainder of the playoffs? Keep in mind I'm bad at math.

Star names you: 1. Backstrom 2. Andrei Kostitsyn, the Belarusian Bomber 3. Ovechkin

Olympics and Team Canada...

... before Team Canada is named for this year's Olympics (which happens tomorrow at noon and I'm very, very excited).

A few countries have already named their men's hockey rosters for the Vancouver Olympics, and for the most part it's the usual suspects. Well, I don't know very much about Latvia, so I'll just make assumptions like all real sports reporters tend to do.

Team Latvia boasts only two NHLers (the third Latvian in the NHL is probably fuming, not unlike Swede Mikael Samuelsson, who is an eleventh-hour candidate for quote of the year) and a bunch of really talented guys who play in Europe.

Team Sweden, as I mentioned, has no Mikael Samuelsson (I knew who that was before he fired off that quote) but it does have Nicklas Lidstrom (so far the best captain at the Olympics, but let's wait until tomorrow to confirm that), scoring machines the Sedin twins, and the excellent Henrik Lundqvist between the pipes (who I will sometimes say nice things about as long as he's not playing for the New York Rangers or against Canada). Oh, and some guy whose name doesn't sound Swedish at all.

Team Belarus recruited the Kostitsyn brothers, who have been on fire lately, as well as this other guy who plays for the Leafs and has no face.

Team Russia is um... you know what, I'm going to say it. Awesome. Team Russia, so far, is the team to beat. They have a wicked lineup (my apologies to Kovy for getting snubbed) which boasts the NHL's best players, including two guys who will potentially become NHL captains sometime soon, Andrei Markov and Alexander Ovechkin. Oh yeah, they're also two of my favourite players in the whole league and if Canada loses to Russia in the gold-medal game, I'll probably survive.

Team Slovakia, as expected, named our Jaroslav Halak as goaltender today. Halak is also the NHL's first star of last week and should not have been pulled at the end of last night's game against the Sens, but it seems like I'm the only person who tenses up when a goalie is taken off the ice. Another Slovak goalie? Rastislav Stana, who has a wicked cool name. The team also boasts former Hab Richard Zednik and the devil himself, Zdeno Chara Miroslav Satan.

We won't find out who's on Team Canada for another twenty hours (keep sending good thoughts to Steve Yzerman so that he'll pick Mike Cammalleri, and I'm using this as an excuse to post the "Hope" poster again), but to tide you over, there's a great game at the CTV Olympics site... find out who your "twin" is on the Canadian sledge, men's, and women's hockey teams.

And now on to the successors of the best sports team of 2009: Canada's juniors won their first two games, and they play again tonight (against Slovakia), saving us from a relatively bleak post-Christmas primetime schedule. Or, you know, you can wait the whole evening for a Zach Braff-less episode of Scrubs.

If I were you, I'd tape Scrubs. (Sorry, rest of the cast.)

One Island, Two Teams: Game Preview 12-19-09

(Cut me some slack with the title. I don't even remember the last time I did one of these.)


Oh right, picture.

Scary! Or maybe not. The message here should be "beat us, and watch out for your equipment van." But that's slightly too ominous (and fire isn't funny, kids) so we'll stick with these two simple words:

ANDREI MARKOV!

In addition to this much-awaited comeback, there may be hope for another Czech sausage pass, as Roman Hamrlik may also make a return to the lineup tonight. There are too many conflicting reports of that in my Gmail inbox so I will merely shrug my shoulders and wait until 7:08 like the rest of you.

Also making the trip is Superman er, Brian Gionta. It's like Santa took a giant sparkly box with a CH logo and gave a piece of it to every Canadiens' fan.

As for the Islanders, they are young, they are motivated, and definitely not to be taken lightly, even if the last two games against them have been W's for the Habs' record. Both teams are starved for offense lately, with the top guns having slowed down their points pace (save Andrei Kostitsyn, the man responsible for 63% of the Habs' goals over the span of the last four games).

So now we talk about them Islanders

• For those hiding under a rock for the last three years, the young man pictured up there is John Tavares. He's going to want to get fired up again, as his last contribution to the scoresheet was an assist in a win against Boston last week. He seems to like Saturday night games, as 11 of his 27 points have been on Saturdays.
• Blake Comeau, for his part, showed he did not enjoy his recent time in the pressbox. Of the last four games he's suited up for recently, he's registered a point in three of them.
• Frans Nielsen was a key in Thursday night's loss against the Rangers with one goal, one assist.
• Ex-Hab mention in today's column of course goes to Mark Streit, who despite the rough go he seems to be having this season is always somebody to look out for, especially with Montreal's recent penalty-taking tendencies.

Okay, so we've had better games against Atlanta

Tonight's game was great... if you're an Atlanta fan or Andrei Kostitsyn. (Maybe not so much if you're a Habs fan hoping for a wicked win when a cold suddenly hits you and you can't go out and party. I woke up this morning sounding like a completely normal person, and now when I speak it's like the Squeaky-Voiced Teenager and a lifelong smoker had a baby.)

Unfortunately, something happened in the second half of the game - I don't know if the Thrashers woke up or the Habs started slipping, but it was a pretty exciting game for a while. It just didn't end as well as it started.

The good news is that it's a pretty short flight home from Atlanta and the team will have some time to rest before facing Buffalo on Monday... this insane December schedule isn't doing anyone any favours and I'm pretty sure that fatigue is affecting a lot of players physically and mentally. (And who are we kidding, Ilya Kovalchuk is crazy good.) I think the game could have ended up much worse for Montreal, but a few players really came through for us when it mattered. For a better round-up of tonight's game than I gave you in this three-word post, go here.

Why the hell does the Thrashers staff need an ice girl to help replace a pane of glass? The girl gets paid to wear short shorts at hockey games in a state that's expecting 17 degree weather in the middle of December. I'm guessing she's not an engineer.
... Maybe it was bring your human Barbie to work day in Atlanta...

P.S.: Shoutout to the Ottawa Senators, who saw a flash of Classic Kovalev when he scored a hat trick against the Carolina Hurricanes tonight. 401 career goals! I bet Ottawa's hoping he keeps up the Classic Kovy act all season. I do too, as long as they don't beat us in the playoffs.)

Rookie's take on last night's home opener

I guess this wasn't the most epic home opener of all time. Which sucks for me, since it was my first real "home opener" experience. Okay, fine, I wasn't AT the game, but a home opener is a once-a-season event that needs to be watched from start to finish. 

Two seasons ago, I maybe half-watched it - to be honest, I don't really remember because that was back when hockey was just something that was on. (In hindsight, I should totally have watched it and paid attention considering how that season unfolded.) Then last year, I missed it for academic reasons. In the spring, my reasoning for a Wednesday evening class made perfect sense - the class sounded interesting, Lost wasn't on until midseason and hockey games on Wednesdays were relatively rare. I made a bad call on that one. The class was useless and dull (and yes, everyone's friend Czechtacular had warned me about the awful professor, but for some reason I didn't listen). I had tickets to a preseason game on a Wednesday - stupid, I know - so I had already missed one class for hockey (kids, do as I say, not as I did) and couldn't fall behind just to watch a game on TV. Obviously, I had NHL.com and Mike Boone's live blog open in separate windows as I took notes, and compulsively hit refresh about every three seconds, but neither source would make any mention of the pre-game ceremony and all the legends in attendance, so a good while after the game was set to start all I knew was that the puck had dropped. So this was the first real home opening game I got to see.

I was very excited for this home opener... so excited that I delayed my viewing of the 30 Rock season premiere, which was a pretty tough call to make. (To put things into perspective, the 30 Rock premiere is like the TV equivalent of the home opener when your team is coming off a wicked last season and a Stanley Cup win, but not in a bucktoothed Sidney Crosby kind of way. I love Tina Fey more than Carey Price loves Garth Brooks. I speak more highly of Tina Fey than Jacques Demers does of Guillaume Latendresse. I've been quoting old episodes nonstop in anticipation.)

I had had the chance to see Calgary's home opener last season, with every player called to the ice like a hero. (I unfortunately was called away for the five seconds that Jarome Iginla was called up but turned back to the TV just in time to see the guy after him, a certain Michael Cammalleri). I figured I knew what I'd be in for and I was hoping for some big to-do since we're almost at the tail end of these centennial festivities. 

And what did we get at the beginning of this game? The same video we'll be seeing for the rest of the season, and a lineup of "Je suis" introductions. Hardly the pomp and circumstance of last year's opener, although I guess it's useful if you're still confused by the dozens of new guys who materialized over the summer.

Props to Andrei Kostitsyn for being a rebel and skipping the "Je suis." Everyone knows that that's who he is, anyway. And I don't care if he follows the script or not, because he gets paid to play. I'm a little disappointed, though, that his was the only deviation from what the players were probably told to say. No one decided to maybe stick a middle name in there, or a "Hi Mom," or maybe pull a switcheroo and say some other guy's name, or introduce himself as James Bond or something. Les boys were all business.

Also, I was under the impression that our city had the most legendary hockey team in the NHL, or something. Is it just me or was standing around passing a mic just a little bit low-fi? I may watch hockey to see the games, but the guys barely even had time for a wave or a nod of the head. Couldn't there have been more lights, or a sparkler or two, maybe more little kids?

Is it because they thought tripping was contagious? Because that little goalie kid did a heck of a job, even wearing all his padding, only tripping once. Scott Gomez fell like a dozen times during the game, and he's a full-grown man. A short man, perhaps, but still an adult-sized one who skates for a living, so I'm giving a huge 

thumbs up to the little goalie kid for picking himself up and keeping on. (Or herself? Was it a little Kim St-Pierre in training?)

The players didn't even skate around that much when they came out, but I guess that that made for an even playing field with the injured players. Obvious statement of the year:

 I miss my Andrei Markov.

Did I miss something? Was all of the awesomeness offscreen?

On to the game:

So the first period went off pretty well. We scored the first goal, because Roman Hamrlik was totally on fire and deserves credit for seeing a really good opportunity and taking the shot.

The first period also called a penalty for something that isn't an officia

l crime of hockey but should be: Checking A Guy After You Knocked His Helmet Off. Thanks, Colorado, for trying to fell another one of our players. We're already down by three at our home opener and I'm pretty sure that Max Pacioretty hasn't done anything to deserve attempted brain damage.

In the second period, Colorado apparently tied the game 1-1 but come on. Who are we kidding. That was a goal of complete fluke and stupidity. It wasn't actually scored by anyone.

Colorado scored a second goal during a moment of Carey Price weakness (opinions may vary on his play last night, and I'm more or less in the middle. We've seen him play better, we've seen him have worse games, but there were some brilliant saves and don't you deny it.)

There were some decent shots on goal but unfortunately we didn't score a second until Tomas Plekanec rocked it out in the 3rd period. Czechtacular will have more on this for you, since both goals were scored by her guys.

Overall, I think this game, if anything, proved that fans (you know which ones I'm talking about) can't just rely on the new players we were so jazzed about this summer. I didn't lose faith in our returning players and I'm feeling pretty good about that right now. I'd probably feel even better if I didn't need to make this argument and everyone played this well all the time and no one had to be an apologist for their favourite player, but Mick Jagger told me that I can't always get what I want.

The game ended 3-2 but there was a strong effort at the end of the game to score a third goal, and that first Colorado goal barely even counts, so I'll be in denial and say it was a tie game. Last night's game was a reminder that NHL hockey isn't easy, and there's work to do this season. I'm up for it, and it appears that the team is up for it, and hopefully for the long run.

And in case you're wondering, yes, 30 Rock was great.

Plus/Minus for the first week of the season

Welcome to the inaugural (and hopefully not last) +/- post, where, like a player's plus-minus ranking, we're going to keep track of what happens, spotlight the good, and sulk at the bad. Since this first week (technically, nine days, but that's procrastination) was as insane as we've come to expect during the hockey season (especially for Montreal), we've got a lot to get this going:

+ Winning the first game of the season. Take that, Toronto! Not even the big bad defenceman that we molded (who then jilted us) can hold us down.

+ Josh Gorges starting his season with a game-winning goal.

+ Beating the Sabres.

+ Brian Gionta saving our asses on a regular basis.

+ Andrei Kostitsyn and Tomas Plekanec de-zombifying from their former selves and producing goals in both road losses, one of which was a wicked backhander that had an eye for the net

+ The return of Kyle Chipchura and the unleashing of his badassery on Eric Nystrom (the newly-born Habs' killer). While we know he's no Laraque (and...thank goodness for that, actually), we need to see Chip bringing that physical edge to his game and hopefully he'll find other ways to keep his spot, for good this time.

+ Travis Moen unleashing his angry self. We've seen his bad side, and it's scary stuff

+ New additions to Centennial Plaza. The central monument has a clean, classy design. It's also nice to see de la Gauchetiere renamed. It wasn't necessary, but it's a nice way to recognize the epicenter of hockey in the city. I mean, the Hippodrome is on rue des Jockeys, the Labatt brewery is on Labatt street, and there are streets named after recording artists, so why shouldn't a legendary hockey franchise get the same treatment? And who wouldn't want a miniature Avenue des Canadiens-de-Montreal street sign as part of their hockey-themed home accessories? (I'd take it over a wooden sign anyday.)

+ The Hamilton Bulldogs starting off their season with a 3-0 win against the Ice Hogs, which is just an unfortunate name for anything.

-3 for injuries to Andrei Markov, Ryan O'Byrne, and Glen Metropolit happening way too early in the season. And for happening at all. If we subtracted a point for all of their jersey numbers, it'd be -97. And I have half a mind to do it because my favourite Canadien is out for four months, but I'll try to hold back.

-2 for two losses on the road, especially getting flattened in Vancouver (but I think it's a general consensus that no one wanted that game to end that way... except for maybe the Canucks.)

- This letter to Stu Cowan, Gazette sports editor, that was actually published in the newspaper. The letter-writer may simply have intended to express appreciation for the numerous Quebecois hockey heroes of yesteryear, but all I saw when reading this letter was a whiny, xenophobic rant about the supposed evils of money and the ethnic vote and I honestly thought we'd be past that as a society.

 

AND OUTSIDE OF HOCKEY

a PLUS to Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother. She's a total HerWay girl: smart, funny, knows her hockey and wouldn't be caught dead in a pink jersey (we assume). We should be mad at her since her Canucks beat our Habs, but her mini-speech about the 2004 Canucks in this week's episode was made of awesome. We'd still totally be her friend if she was a real person.

a MINUS to public transit, since over the last week or so, both of your friendly neighbourhood bloggers were basically left stranded on their way home thanks to malfunctions of some sort or another. It's just not normal for a 35-minute commute to take over two hours.