It's About Time

USA Today broke a story today about a new show set to premiere on CBS Sports. It's being sold as a "sports talk show" hosted, produced, and directed by women.

This is huge. And it's about damn time.

I may not know the title, who is hosting it, or when exactly it's slated to premiere, but I definitely plan on watching it. I don't even know if I can get CBS Sports in Canada, but I'll try. I'll plan a road trip across the border to watch the premiere if I have to. It's going to be an important moment for a lot of sports fans, and I want to be there when it happens.

Even the most seasoned female sports reporters don't always get the recognition they deserve. I'm very proud of TSN for hiring so many female anchors, but even that is proof that women have to work incredibly hard to be taken seriously. It's time that women got a big stage, one that doesn't have a glass-top desk. It's time that they're given a chance to truly shine, or to yell, or to fuck up, because male analysts get to do that all the time. I'm not saying that all male sports anchors or analysts are bad at what they do, but the culture of sports broadcasting is a certain way. It's a boys' club, and women have made great strides to change that, but there are still better opportunities for meatheaded former players, or guys who like to talk really loud, than there are for a lot of women regardless of their work ethic and their level of intelligence.

It's time that women are given these major roles - we've seen such great work from a lot of female sportscasters, and they deserve to get their due.

When the show premieres, I'm hoping to see lots of in-depth discussions, segments I can learn from, and a few good laughs. But, to be honest, I'll settle for seeing myself a little bit better-represented on television. I know that there's a chance that the show might disappoint me - television is just like that sometimes. And that's okay, because we've seen that happen before, and in some cases, we see it happen regularly. (ahem, Coach's Corner) But no matter what, it'll be nice knowing that there's something different out there, and that women will be working hard to produce it. It'll be nice to see a new perspective on the sports world. And it will most definitely be nice knowing that the show was produced in an environment that might be a little bit more welcoming than some other media outlets out there.

And if they want to hire me as an intern or a proofreader, that would be nice, too.

Plus/Minus: All we do is win

I know I haven't written one of these in a couple of weeks. So why not start up again after the Habs have a near-flawless week? ...Am I jinxing them somehow?

PLUS

+ THAT HIT by Lars Eller. Seeing it in person was something else. I don't even have the right reaction gif to express it.

+ David Desharnais' mustache. It is now a proven fact that mustaches make NHL players better at hockey.
+ Ever since I left on vacation, Max Pacioretty has been some kind of wonderful. (See also: Minus.)
+ Brandon Prust and Travis Moen are suddenly scoring goals, and I am very, very okay with that.
+ Apparently some Scandal fans are upset that the show is basically turning into Alias. I don't see how this is a bad thing.

+ I got to my seat at the Bell Centre on Thursday just in time to observe the moment of silence for Nelson Mandela. Apart from one moron who decided to shout incomprehensibly (and get shushed), the arena was quiet. It was really moving to see the organization - and the fans - pay such respect to a man who changed the world. A moment of silence can be hard to come by in one of the league's loudest arenas, and even at that, it seems like a small tribute to a great man. But I'm so happy that the team chose to take a minute and recognize everything he did in his lifetime.

MINUS

- Penguins. Bruins. You all are crazy. Stop kicking and punching everyone in the head.
- Now that Max Pacioretty is scoring goals and taking names, lots of people are saying that the people who wanted him traded have been silenced. Who are these people that wanted him traded? And exactly what illicit substances have they been ingesting?
- The Mindy Project is one of the most watchable comedies on network TV. The fact that it's going on hiatus for three months is a crime. The only upside to this is that it'll be replaced by Brooklyn Nine-Nine, one of the other watchable comedies on network TV. Still, I have no idea how this bodes for Mindy in the long term, and I'm concerned that Fox is sinking a show that seems to be in line with what they want to be as a network.


I hope I'm not jinxing them.

Plus/Minus comes back angry

It's been HOW long since I wrote a Plus/Minus? And I let a basketball game get in the way? Geez. Sorry. I'll try to work on that.

PLUS
+Thank you, Mikael Bournival, for being the new Brendan Gallagher. (Sorry, Louis Leblanc, but another kid with a French last name stole your thunder.)

+ George Parros is back! And his mustache will be, too!

+ Thank you to the clueless group of people who sat behind me at the Bell Centre during Tuesday's game. You entertained my followers more than I could have on my own. (I know I used to be much more of a rookie than I am now. But there's a limit to my patience.)

+ I know I'm not supposed to like goalies who do everything right and beat the Habs, but Josh Harding was great in his start against Montreal and has had an awesome season so far.

+ Here are my thoughts on recent episodes of Scandal:


MINUS

- Dear NBC: I want my Parks and Rec. Give me my Parks and Rec.

- Some jerk on sports talk radio apparently thinks that all of the world's evils have come from women trying to break into the sports world. I'm not even going to bother mentioning his name or anything, because who cares. Didn't I already deal with this moron when he called in to The Franchise the last two times I was on?

- So, Semyon Varlamov gets arrested for alleged domestic abuse, and continues to play. Gee, why does the whole "Avalanche goalie hurts wife/girlfriend" narrative sound so familiar? Could it be because Varly's coach did the exact same thing, but most people in the hockey world choose to pay attention to his accomplishments, and sweep his personal crimes under the rug. Roy's anger issues are looked at as yet another of his quirks. It was only problematic when he was basically responsible for that huge on-ice brawl as Remparts coach, because it affected hockey (and was symptomatic of a pretty big problem, one that he might indirectly be to blame for.) The Denver Post claims that Roy is "sticking his neck out" for Varlamov. That's bullshit. Roy isn't taking any risks. He's doing exactly what he thinks is right, which is to ignore the fact that the goalie he's taking such good care of might be a criminal. Roy thinks that this is far, when really it's reprehensible. For some unfortunate reason, people don't care about off-ice violence. Letting Varlamov start games when he should be under investigation, or getting help for whatever issues he may have, just proves that there's a growing culture of indifference towards players' behaviour off the ice. Players aren't seeing any consequences to their actions, even when they need to. If this doesn't stop soon, the NHL will be no better than the NFL.

Stick tap to Wrap Around Curl, who is also angry and disappointed that this league isn't doing anything.

Plus/Minus needs more gravy

Plus/Minus is back! And I, for one, am thankful that I can bring back one of HIHW's oldest features. It was on IR for far too long, and we've got tons of hockey and TV stuff to talk about. Shall we?

PLUS

+ That goal by Alex Galchenyuk. That. Goal.
+ The outpouring of support for George Parros after his injury was inspiring. Hockey people can be good people, sometimes.
+ Lars Eller and P.K. Subban are picking up points so easily, they almost make me think I can play hockey. (Me, with my clumsy limbs and my complete lack of athleticism.)
+ Joe Thornton had the quote of the year and it's barely even the year yet.
+ Sleepy Hollow might be my favourite new show of the season. It's got a talented, diverse cast, and it's  so scary but I can't help but watch it.
+ Thank you, Fox, for picking up John Mulaney's series after NBC decided not to go ahead with it!

MINUS

- Guillaume Latendresse isn't even playing in North America, and the Journal de Montréal is still writing cover features about him? Let it go, already. As interested as I am in the life of a North American player in Europe, I've had my fill of stories about Latendresse.
- Daniel Briere, you have one point. ONE. POINT. Are you just biding your time? Because I think most of us would prefer it if you just scored goals and such.
- ABC could have had a major hit in Super Fun Night. But a show that doesn't live up to its potential in addition to being mishandled by its network is just an unfortunate recipe for disaster.
- Once Upon A Time In Wonderland should be my favourite new show of the season. Unfortunately, the pilot was disappointing. The CGI wasn't convincing, there was too much of it, and most of the leads  just aren't engaging enough. I still like the concept, though, so with any luck it'll grow on me, just like Once Upon A Time did.
- This is way late, but a Minus to whoever it was that cancelled Go On. I can't even bring myself to watch Sean Saves The World, and I firmly believe that Go On would've been a great companion to The Michael J. Fox Show. And it has (almost) nothing to do with the fact that both series star good, hockey-loving Canadians.

With any luck, I'll be able to make Plus/Minus a regular feature again this season. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Have an extra scoop of mashed potatoes for me.

Hab It Her Way Awards, part 3

Okay, one more round of awards. Nothing like an awards ceremony that overstays its welcome, right?

The J. Jonah Jameson Trophy for Special Achievement in Journalism

This one goes to John Buccigross for his excellent, in-depth piece about Blake Geoffrion's life, injury, recovery, and retirement. It made me cry, and it probably made you cry, too. (If it didn't, you might want to see the Wizard about a heart.)

The Gunn Brothers Trophy for Unrewarded Excellence in Television
(Think of this as TV's equivalent of the Jacques Beauchamp)

Columbus Short is so great on Scandal. He really is. I could watch him wear funky suits and talk fast for hours. But, unfortunately, he usually only gets minutes. You see, Scandal was quite occupied with expanding its storylines in season 2, and fleshing out the characters who remained a mystery in season 1. What does that mean for Short's character, Harrison? Unfortunately, not much. He didn't really get to use his fast talking and suit-wearing to its full potential. Which is ridiculous, because he wears suspenders. Suspenders! I've heard that there's going to be more for Short and his suspenders to do in the upcoming third season, and I can only hope it's true because it's a shame to see such a good performance go to waste.

The Tom Hanks Trophy for Best SNL Host

How often will you see a first-time host and musical guest go toe-to-toe with someone joining the Five Timers Club? It's a tie between Bruno Mars' classic showmanship and Justin Timberlake's appointment television. No, seriously: Most people make plans to go out on Saturday nights. My friend and I made plans to stay in and watch JT on SNL. And Bruno Mars' turn as host was the last push I needed to decide for sure that I wanted to see him in concert as soon as he came to town, no matter what. (Which I did, and now part two of the Bell Centre concert sequel to this will be the Justin Timberlake concert on Halloween night.)

The M. Night Shyamalan Trophy for Biggest Shock of the Offseason

The only time I will ever use a photo from Perez Hilton

The M Night Shyamalan goes to.... M Night Shyamalan! WHAT A SHOCKING TURN OF EVENTS. Can you believe that he claimed to have ghostwritten She's All That? It was probably the randomest and funniest news story of the summer.

(The other biggest shock of the summer involved Jarome Iginla and please, let's not talk about that.)

The Ben & Jerry's Trophy for Best Thing About The Offseason

Without a doubt, this trophy has to go to Jay Baruchel's Just for Laughs gala. JB making his entrance in a Subban jersey! Surprise appearances by Youppi! and Chris Nilan! A video address from Geoff Molson! A spoken-word poem about corrupt local politicians! A completely solid lineup of comedians! It was the best thing to happen at Just for Laughs this year outside of my shaking Seth Meyers' hand.

The Lumiere Brothers Trophy for Best Animated GIF

Champagne for my real friends; real pain for my sham friends.

This was a late entry to the competition, but the Hawks are pretty good at winning things at the last minute.

I'd invite Patrick Kane to the HIHW Awards afterparty, but I don't have that kind of budget.

Losing A Star

I hope I don't have to write this kind of post ever again. It hurts to lose someone you used to look forward to seeing on TV every week, someone not that much older than you.

I may not have watched Glee very much this season, but my appreciation for the show's first two seasons will always be there. And I was there to see the show's cast experience the kind of insane success that seems almost unfathomable to the rest of us. (I don't want to call it "overnight success," since many cast members worked very very hard before they booked Glee.) The pilot episode is still one of my favourite pilots of the last five years. And that's why it hurt me so much to find out that we lost Cory Monteith yesterday.

This post won't include any pictures of him or clips from the show. I'm still kind of processing the fact that he's gone.

I can't even imagine what his castmates are going through. They worked with him every day. They rose to fame with him. And, as far as I know, they were all good friends. So the question remains: how can the show deal with this? There's no chance to casually write him out or give Finn Hudson a real goodbye. And I'm quite sure that despite all the tumult Finn seems to have gone through in season 4, that the writing staff would want to do his character justice. I can't even imagine how they would go about this.

When NewsRadio tragically lost Phil Hartman, they had no choice but to keep going, and write an episode where the staff find out that his character, Bill McNeil, has passed away. It can't have been easy for his castmates to film that episode, since they were going through exactly the same thing as their characters. In a nice meta tribute to Hartman himself, they ended up finding a replacement in Jon Lovitz, who seemed ready to fill some of the emptiness left by the loss of such a great comic actor.

Probably the closest thing to a blueprint for the Glee writers would be the way that John Ritter's death was handled on 8 Simple Rules. (I don't think Glee could call on James Garner to play a friendly, loving grandpa, but if there's a context for it, then by all means please let it happen.) They already did something similar in season 2, when Kurt's dad suffered a heart attack and survived. It was a real instance of serious drama that shook the teenage characters, and it rang true to life. Teenagers mourn death differently than adults do, so the emotions we saw on NewsRadio might not really translate the same way to Glee. Lots of teenagers have seen much of themselves in the characters - to the point that the show has often served them, and tried to communicate important messages instead of just being good for a laugh. And, ultimately, the show has probably been the better for it - maybe not creatively, but certainly as a media phenomenon.

If it were up to me, I'd take inspiration from an unexpected source. One of the most touching tributes I've ever seen to a fallen cast member came from 90's sitcom Suddenly Susan. (No, I never expected to make a Suddenly Susan reference on this blog.) David Strickland committed suicide before the third season had finished filming. How do you say goodbye to a character when you barely have time to say goodbye to the person? By letting your cast say goodbye to the person. An episode where the characters spend the day looking for Strickland's character, Todd, was peppered with talking-head footage of the cast (out of character, though that's never 100% clear) paying tribute to their friend. I remember seeing that episode in syndication a couple of years after it aired and it still packed a huge emotional punch. I know how much the characters on Glee need to express themselves. Giving them an outlet to do that, especially in their own words, one by one, would be a fitting tribute. Somehow I feel like putting Monteith's friends and girlfriend through rehearsals and multiple takes of a musical number would be difficult, and kind of unfair.

If it were up to me, I'd wait a little while to write the season premiere, and I'd let a few fictional months pass, so that whatever tragedy befell Finn is in the past. Instead of dealing with the shock of his death, I'd have the characters learn what it's like to go through the first few months of "normal" life after the loss of a friend. But I'm not Ryan Murphy. He's a talented and focused showrunner, and he'll probably know exactly what to write and when it should happen.

Until that episode airs, all we can do is wonder.

An Open Letter to Mindy Kaling

Dear Mindy:

First of all, I want to say that I really liked the first season of The Mindy Project. It's like, an extension of your book, you know? But not really, because it's fictionalized and stuff, and there are no secret jabs at that girl from 30 Rock... unless, is that what that whole subplot in the Thanksgiving episode was about? Anyway, not important, because you know I'm on Team Mindy, and not Team Random Blonde Girl (even though it totally sucks that she's nice!)

So far, a bunch of my favourite things about your book have shown up on The Mindy Project, like how much you love romantic comedies and how hilarious you are and the whole "plus-size" debate and the whole men vs. boys debate. I loved the random athlete cameos (even though it seems like the show may finally have closed the book on Josh, so that's probably over now.) I look forward to the episode that makes fun of guys for taking so long to put on their shoes (seriously, though what is up with that?). Also, I'd like to thank you profusely for putting Chris Messina on my television every week, for reasons that I don't need to elaborate on. (But since you asked: It's because I have like this illness where the only symptom is that I just really really want to marry Chris Messina. It's very serious and there is no cure. I was almost hospitalized during the triathlon episode. Regardless of that fact, it will never be deleted from my DVR probably ever, not even after they invent something to replace the DVR, which would be crazy, right?)

I'm writing you this letter because I need to apologize to you. Something really bad happened, and I feel awful about it, and I haven't really been able to talk about it. 

I had taken the dust jacket off of my copy of Is Everybody Hanging Out Without Me? because it was easier to carry around in my purse that way, but it also makes it harder to recognize when it's just lying on a table or something. A couple of weeks ago, there was this really gross spider in my room and I grabbed the closest expendable book to squish it. I really really thought that it was this crappy book I wasted $2 on called A Smart Girl's Guide to Sports, which is actually for dumb girls and talks more about hardwood floors than it does about basketball, but then after I had defeated the scariest spider ever, I realized that it wasn't. I'm really, really sorry for accidentally smearing your book with the remains of a spider. I'm just gonna keep the dust jacket on it from now on.

Do you think you'll be able to forgive me, and also maybe say hi to Chris Messina for me?

Best,

Rookie

PS: I know Season 1 isn't over yet but I can't wait to see Season 2.

Keeping up appearances

I've realized lately that the more things change, the more they stay the same. And that because I'm female, no matter what I write on this blog or say in real life, there will always be someone who'll be more concerned with the way I look than anything else.

We've seen it happen often in the last year or so, since the premiere of the HBO series Girls: star and creator Lena Dunham takes her clothes off onscreen and people are suddenly up in arms that a woman who is not model-pretty would dare to do so. The debate got even noisier after a recent second-season episode in which her character, Hannah, spends a lot of time naked, mostly in the presence of Patrick Wilson, who just happens to be really really ridiculously good-looking. And sexually interested in her. And somehow it was implausible that someone like him would be attracted to someone like her. We get it. She's not very tall, and she's a little chubby and a little pear-shaped, and you probably would never see her in a Victoria's Secret catalogue. But people are acting as if she shouldn't be on TV or something. This is a woman who, in her mid-20s, made a film that caught the attention of HBO to the point that they basically asked her to write a show for them. Young writers are often respected in writers' rooms because they often have fresh and different ideas - that's something I won't deny. But very few series creators and showrunners are both female and in their twenties. That trend is changing, but will continue to change only very slowly. The fact that a woman (or anyone, really) has garnered so much attention for her writing and directing in her mid-twenties is impressive. Now, I know that there are a lot of people out there who can easily point out some problems in Girls' writing, and I won't get into those here. Anyone who criticizes a writer for their writing probably has a reason to make their argument. Anyone who criticizes someone on TV for not looking like George Clooney's arm candy needs to be put in check. It's basically akin to saying that someone should not be playing a sport because they're the wrong nationality. It just doesn't make any sense. The idea that people would publicly express their disdain for someone else's body, and try to find excuses to justify it, disgusts me. Dunham probably grew up surrounded by the same movies and magazines and whatnot that we all did; the ones that informed our opinions of what is beautiful and what isn't. All she's doing is proving that some people took all of that far too seriously and can't stand the thought of seeing something or someone different. So she's expressly pushing their buttons, and somehow they don't realize that. People have a problem with her body? She responds fearlessly, by continuing to do nude scenes, and writing dialogue (for Hannah, as well as other characters) that expresses the fact that people are often unhappy and uncomfortable, and that this is informed by what other people think is "normal."

But people continue to think that a woman's looks are the most important thing about her.

Take this dumbass beer commercial, for example. Molson was smart enough to start airing right around early January, when everyone resolves to lose some weight this year or something, but the advent of a new NHL season means that most people will go back to drinking beer a little more regularly than others. The ad also tried to be a little interesting by not jumping right into the common cliché of throwing as many Barbie-doll girls onscreen as possible (see: cheerleaders screeching their way into a sports bar, because a man told them to.) Instead, it lauds some guy for jogging from his parking space to the pub, where he orders a low-calorie beer and a manly burger. (It's manly because it's red meat, and bacon, and crispy onions, and you eat it with your hands, like a man. Oh and also because an American restaurant literally called it the "Manly Burger.") This, apparently, is called a "guyet." With a G. It, as the voice-over dismissively explains to us, is not some diet. Because diets are for girls, I guess. Because only girls are supposed to obsess over their bodies and make sure they look good enough. Thanks, "guyet," for not only being ridiculously stupid, but also offensive!

Part of the intro to the NBA All-Star Game was a video sequence of a woman talking about what it means to be a baller. But it didn't really feel like she herself was one. It kind of felt like, rather than being dressed up as various types of successful women, she'd been dressed up as the kind of woman attracted by various types of successful men. (That, and the excess of pre-game ceremonies made me feel as though it could have been cut out and no one would have been the wiser, and we all could have started watching a basketball game that much sooner.) Despite the fact that the All-Star skills competition always includes WNBA players, this intro basically perpetuated the idea that a woman's role in professional sports is basically to be pretty.

This is reflected in much of the coverage surrounding Reeva Steenkamp's death. It felt as though her modeling career added a lurid twist to the whole story, which was explained by some outlets as "SUCCESSFUL AND INSPIRATIONAL ATHLETE (shoots and kills) PRETTY BLONDE WOMAN!" Literally, a man whose body can break world records in track killed a woman whose body could sell products. No mention of this man's psyche. Very little mention of this woman's life.

This was also seen by some as some kind of misfortune for Oscar Pistorius that could end up causing a huge blow to his career. Not enough people were shocked that an athlete who had brought so much joy to his spectators was capable of something so awful. I'm not accusing Pistorius of murdering his girlfriend, but I am saying that there was allegedly a history of "domestic disputes," which means that Pistorius may very well have exhibited violent behaviour in the past. I'm also saying that pictures of a woman in a bikini shouldn't be all over the newspapers the day after she's been shot and killed. The fact that she was beautiful is more important than the fact that she is dead. Certain media outlets had the good sense to go beyond this, and actually mentioned the fact that she tried to use her fame for good, and to inspire others to do the same. She spoke out about violence against women, and ended up being a victim of it. Not enough people have taken notice of this, even though it should be a wake-up call. What makes this worse is the fact that both Pistorius and Steenkamp were more successful than Jovan Belcher and Kasandra Perkins, whose story might be similar in a few ways but who received less media coverage. Did this crime actually receive more global attention because the killer was more famous, and because the victim was a white swimsuit model? And yet even after her death, people are publishing shots of her in a bikini? This all makes me question our standards: as men and women, as consumers, as passive.

It's time that our bodies stop being the only thing that measure our worth.

Plus/Minus survived that Flyers game

When I started working on this Plus/Minus, I didn't even know what the Harlem Shake was. It seems like so long ago. Those were the days, man. Those were the days.

PLUS

+ Bruce Arthur noticed my Twitter bio, in which I refer to myself as "the Bruce Arthur of cat ladies."
+ Blake Geoffrion, for slowly getting back into shape and addressing the media after that nasty head injury.
+ Will Smith, for making the Bell Centre just a little bit fresher.
+ There was a brief bit of footage on the latest 24 CH where a bunch of kids in Washington were asked who they were cheering for, the Caps or the Habs. Obviously, almost all of them excitedly said "Washington!" and showed off their Caps jerseys. Except for one kid. As soon as their excitement died down, he said "No, Canadiens!" I think that kid might be my hero.

+ The last two episodes of Parks and Recreation had me falling off the couch. Such great acting, especially by the boys' club (Adam Scott, Aziz Ansari, Nick Offerman, and Rob Lowe) in a subplot about food poisoning. Also to whichever writer coined the phrase "Fleetwood Mac sex pants."

+ Scandal has been relentlessly suspenseful and soapy since I started watching it a few months ago. It just never stops. Every time I watch it, I can't help but worry about the eventual day when it'll jump the shark, but so far, it just keeps surprising me. 

+ Kelly Clarkson's acceptance speech at the Grammys was one of those rare moments in history that someone genuinely didn't expect to win an award and had to improvise their speech.
+ The NBA All-Star Skills competition is my favourite sporting event of the year. There, I said it. So it gets a Plus, for happening.

MINUS

- Get well soon, Brendan Gallagher.
- I hate to go for the easiest joke ever, but are NHL officials trying to make the NFL replacement refs look good? The officiating has been so bad lately that Nicolas Cage wants to make a movie about it.
- This Minus laments the fact that Will Smith couldn't get that gadget from Men In Black and make us all forget the last two. Losing to our two greatest rivals, and seeing a win slip away from us in the closing seconds of a game against Buffalo? Please make me forget that.
- I'm not sure what's worse: finding out that there are teeth in Mikhail Grabovski's no-face (and that he's not afraid to use them) or the utter ignorance of some Leafs fans, who are still crying because Brian Gionta got pushed into James Reimer and Reimer fell, but don't seem to think it's a big deal that one of their players bit someone. Are they only offended because they know that Max is indestructible and that the bite did nothing?

- This Minus is for anyone who hoped that Ryan White would get scratched, then watched the Leafs game and wished he wasn't.

- Christina Applegate left Up All Night. So did showrunner Emily Spivey, a few weeks back. And so will I.
- Charles Barkley is upset that there weren't enough stars in this year's slam dunk competition. He's not technically wrong, and maybe his saying so will encourage some of the NBA's bigger names to take part, but all that really matters are the dunks. If some lesser-known players decide that they're not too cool for school, and impress the audience, then what else matters?
- The only thing worse than refusing to be in the dunk contest is probably showing up to All-Star Saturday in a pair of leather sweatpants and a shirt with leather sleeves, LEBRON.

Happy birthday, Michael Jordan!

Plus/Minus: Can you handle this?

I think it makes more sense for this week's Plus/Minus to be presented in a slightly different order than usual, so please bear with this disorganized mess.

FOR THE PLAYERS

+ I skipped the gym for like a week after I had the stomach flu. Max Pacioretty was playing NHL hockey a week after surgery. (I don't care how minor a laparoscopic appendectomy is. It's still impressive.) Seriously what does Max Pacioretty eat for breakfast, and can I be put on an IV of it?
+ Brandon Prust isn't afraid to drop the gloves when he needs to, sticks up for his linemates, and overall just earns his money. I don't even care that he hasn't gotten his damn hair cut yet.

- Stop taking dumb penalties, Ryan White. I know I usually love everything you do, but make sure you don't get sent to the box for no reason. (That almost sounds like a euphemism. It was not supposed to.)
- Stop trying to mess with everyone, Chris Neil.

FOR THE COACH

+ the Angry Michel Therrien Twitter account. Sure, it's just a disposable parody Twitter account, but we needed it.

- Don't get me wrong, I genuinely enjoy having a coach who takes winning seriously and stuff, but does he have to take everything seriously? He banned the triple-low-five, and then announced that he did so. A good coach should know that his job is done when his team wins a game. He shouldn't try to script what happens afterwards.


FOR THE SUPER BOWL (sort of)

+ I really liked that all of the featured vocal talent - Jennifer Hudson, Alicia Keys, and Destiny's Child - was female. Yes, the national anthem has been sung by a female vocalist every year since 2008, but still. They could easily have featured some New Orleans-based talent, rather than New York icon Alicia Keys, but they didn't. (And that's cool, but... what about all that awesome New Orleans tradition?) Only a handful of female singers have headlined the halftime show in the last twenty years, and lots of people said a bunch of rude stuff about Madonna last year, so it would have been an easy choice to just go for a well-established band made up of dudes. But they went with Beyonce, who might be the hardest-working woman in showbiz. Also, CBS broke with tradition and didn't request that America the Beautiful be performed by a singer who belongs to the network, so that was pretty cool of them. I'm sure NBC appreciated the extra publicity for the new season of Smash.
+ Edited to add: During the first half, Aziz Ansari started a hashtag: #FNLSuperBowl. Basically he wrote the Super Bowl as an episode of Friday Night Lights. It was brilliant.

- Don't get me wrong, Beyonce looked great. But let's not forget that she wrote a song called "Bootylicious." And that she got a lot of credit for changing standards of beauty by (to paraphrase Tina Fey) bringing the leg meat. Yet she looked insanely thin at halftime. She had great legs, but how is anyone supposed to know whether they're ready for this jelly if there isn't any jelly of which to speak?

30 Rock is ending and now I don't know what to do.

This feels like the last day of summer camp.

30 Rock is coming to an end after seven seasons, and while I know I'm lucky to have watched it for that long (as Tina Fey said, she got to make 140 episodes of the kind of show that usually gets cancelled), I'm not quite ready to let go. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because I've grown too attached.

When I first found out that Tina Fey would be leaving my beloved SNL for a show of her own, I was ecstatic. The concept sounded hilarious, and I looked forward to seeing all sorts of in-jokes about cool SNL stuff. Plus, it had Alec Baldwin in it. The actual, real Alec Baldwin who was usually in movies and stuff. Little did I know that the show would evolve into something even bigger than that. Little did critics know that they would grow to love a show they originally panned, and that the mess of an Aaron Sorkin melodrama that they praised would end up retooling itself more than a Real Housewife, only to flounder in its first season. (I guess Sorkin was right: smart girls do have more fun!) Despite the cast changes and such that 30 Rock went through, the show continued strong. I remember some of the third season's best episodes as if they just happened. I don't know why NBC decided to give this gem a chance despite low ratings (Lorne Michaels), or how they knew it would have more staying power than Studio 60 (Lorne Michaels), or why they kept a show on the air that relentlessly made fun of the network (Lorne Michaels), but I'm glad they did.

They must be glad, too, since 30 Rock arguably changed the game.

30 Rock proved that an original, fast-paced, single camera series could work on network television, all while staying true to the structure of the TV season and bringing in big-name guest stars, much like its Must See TV predecessors did. It also proved that sometimes the zany, quirky comedy doesn't get cancelled, and just gets more popular. I'm pretty sure that one of the best compliments I ever got was from a friend who started watching the show in its second season and told me that Liz Lemon reminded him of me. (I high-fived a million angels.) I honestly wish that I could be more like Liz Lemon: completely in control of all my character quirks, eating cheese whenever I want to, hanging a framed picture of food in my office at my TV writing job. More than that, though, I wish I could be more like 30 Rock itself: genuinely funny (even when I'm not), a survivor, someone who manages to make other people happy while staying true to herself.

So I'll just be here eating my Sabor de Soledad, yelling at a plastic bag outside my window, and wondering why that guy at the bar wouldn't buy me mozzarella sticks if you need me.

Plus/Minus: Locked out of heaven

Okay, yes, I took this post title from a Bruno Mars song.
Sometimes at the office, it seems like everyone around me is talking at the same time, which can be a little distracting (to say the least.) So I drown them out with music. Last week I listened to Bruno Mars, and no you are not allowed to judge me for it. I danced in my office chair, despite my best efforts not to. That's kind of how I feel about having NHL hockey back in my life. I'm trying to play it cool and pretend nothing has changed, but sometimes the excitement just takes over and I dance in my office chair. (In my defence: "Runaway Baby.")

PLUS

+ 2 One for each of our rookie Gallys, in honour of their first NHL goals.
+ Every time Ryan White accomplishes something, he gets a Plus. That's just how I run things around here. Ryan White scored a goal(!) and thus, he gets a Plus.
+ Czechtacular and I were hoping that Brandon Prust would not disappoint us. Between the punching and the scoring, he most definitely met our high expectations.
+ In my most recent appearance on the Habs 360 podcast, I said that Andrei Markov would be back in full force. I'm not giving myself this Plus - I'm giving Andrei Markov this Plus for being the amazing player I know he is.
+ A good captain has to "get" his role. He has to know what his team needs from him, and what his fans want from him. Brian Gionta delivered both in the season opener. I couldn't be prouder to have him as my captain.
+ Oh thank goodness I can finally stop hiding my #76 jersey between cardigans in my closet because P.K. is back!

MINUS

- Max Pacioretty's 3-4 week absence is a nightmare. Literally. I have this dream that seems to recur whenever I have a major event or responsibility coming up: The big day is just around the corner and I suddenly end up in the hospital with appendicitis, and I have to get on the phone and tell someone that I can't make it. (And, in the dream, I act like I'm really sorry to let everyone down, even though in real life I'd probably be all sick and feverish and asking for Tylenol.) Get well soon, Max.
- "A Girl's Guide to Watching the Rangers"? Just no. Stop. Anyone who writes garbage like this should just stop writing altogether.

- Hey, Fox? I understand that Ben & Kate's ratings weren't great, but you do realize that you had the two-hour comedy block that you've always wanted, and it was good, and you just punched a hole out of it, right?

Note to readers: For the rest of the season, Plus/Minus may be published intermittently, rather than on a weekly basis.

Firefly Rewatch 2012: "Ariel"

"The next time you stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face."

I'm back from my trip and catching up on the nerd initiative to rewatch the brilliant-but-cancelled Firefly, to mark the show's ten-year anniversary. This week: "Ariel." Original air date: November 15, 2002.

I don't remember having seen "Ariel" before. And now, I don't know what to do with myself. It feels like I just watched two feature-length movies in the last 44 minutes. One was a brilliant adventure movie and the other was some kind of Greek tragedy set in the future. Let me just note that this episode was supposed to air after "Out of Gas," which decimated me emotionally. In this case, I'm kind of glad that Fox decided to ruin the show's intended and logical order of episodes, if only because I wouldn't be able to handle so many emotions right now.

I love the way this episode opens - with the whole crew in the kitchen. There's a real sense of camaraderie, and it follows the end of the last episode, "Safe," quite nicely. It looks like Simon and River really are at home on Serenity - until River slashes Jayne with a knife, possibly in a misguided attempt to defend her brother. Somehow, Mal is able to be the perfect captain following an event like this and settles things with both Jayne and Simon.

Since Serenity has to land on the shiny, rich core planet of Ariel to drop Inara for her annual Companion physical, Simon takes the opportunity to set up some work for his shipmates and try to help his sister at the same time. He hatches a plan - yes, Simon, the straight-laced doctor, maps out an entire criminal scheme - for the crew to sneak himself and River into the hospital. I know, I wouldn't expect it from Simon either, since he talks all pretty and boring, like all the other rich people we see in the core in this episode.

The plan is laid out in the kind of montage you usually see in heist movies. Obviously, not everything goes as planned. Things go wrong in the most engrossing way possible. Mal and Zoe encounter a minor roadblock in their plan to steal meds from storage. Unfortunately, Jayne, Simon, and River are stopped by an even bigger hurdle. Which is Jayne's fault - he calls the Alliance to turn in the two fugitives, hoping for a payday and a more serene Serenity, and ends up being arrested, too. (You know, harboring fugitives, trying to outwit an evil empire, the kind of stuff that'd get anyone in trouble.)

Now Simon has to save his sister from the same people he already worked so hard to save her from, and it must be even harder for him to do so after he found out just how much damage they did to her. This is not a good day to be Simon or River. The bad guys who caught them, that they escape from, aren't even the real bad guys! I was scared enough of the men with the blue gloves just knowing that they had lobotomized River multiple times. Watching them make sure that their search for Simon and River leaves no survivors was terrifying. I know that in television, usually everything gets wrapped up all pretty and the main cast isn't usually in danger of being brutally killed, but somehow in this episode, I wasn't so sure. (And yes, spoiler alert: I know that not everything will be okay after this episode.)

"She feels everything. She can't not."

In this episode, Jayne wasn't the quip-ready, smirking tough guy I've come to know and love. He was unpleasant. I can't say I was surprised that his greed took over and he turned in River and Simon, but I can't believe that he actually went through with it and showed so little regard for them and the crew. The fact that he realizes he's done something wrong at the end of the episode, and shows remorse for it, was stunning. If I had been watching this episode when it first aired, my mind would have been blown.

If I had watched it back then, there are so many things I would have missed: the sharp editing, the stunning use of dialogue, and the way that colours are used. The scary steel grey of the Alliance, the crisp, sterile hospital whites, the bright colours of the 3D scan technology... Visually, this was such an impressive episode. I have no idea if the set designers and special effects people were just that good at making a lot out of a little, or if the show was so expensive that it just had to be cancelled. Then again, the latter would be ridiculous, since I'm sure that at least some money had to be spent on Temptation Island, My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance, that dating show hosted by Monica Lewinsky, and any lawsuits that may have followed the production of such shows.
But what do I know, right? It's not like I work for the TV network that cancelled this show. I'm just one of many fans with access to the episodes that were produced, and an appreciation for the people who made them.

Firefly Rewatch 2012: "Safe"

I'm back from my trip and catching up on the nerd initiative to rewatch the brilliant-but-cancelled Firefly, to mark the show's ten-year anniversary. This week: "Safe." Original air date: November 8, 2002.

I should probably preface this by saying that this was a great episode for people who love staring at Sean Maher's face. It appears that I am one of those people. I will try very hard not to make this entire post about how much I enjoyed looking at Sean Maher's face.

But I will say this: If social networking had existed in 2002 the way it does now, things would be incredibly different. You'd check your Tumblr dash on a Saturday morning and find photosets from the previous night's episode. People would live-tweet their favourite bons mots. Sean Maher's face would probably be a hashtag (#SeanMahersFace) and have its own page on Facebook. Or, it would have, after this episode aired.

It was great to finally get a little bit more backstory on River and Simon. Eventually, the few minutes per episode where you notice just how badly off River is, and why that might have happened, and someone says a bit of heart-wrenching dialogue, just aren't enough anymore. They and Shepherd Book had spent enough time in B-plots, so I'm glad that they finally got their due.

In this episode, the cargo from last week's adventure (a herd of cattle) are to be dropped off and sold on a planet called Jiangyin. So, at least there's SOME continuity there. The fact that Simon is not at all the same as he was in "Jaynestown" doesn't really make any sense, but Fox wasn't thinking of that, probably. Anyway, it doesn't take long for the crew to get into trouble soon after they land. (It seems like they always get in more trouble outdoors than in, which might be why every outdoor scene in this show seems so off-putting.) Simon angers Kaylee, loses sight of River, and gets kidnapped. Mal and Jayne get caught up haggling with some undesirable types, who promptly get arrested. A shootout breaks out, and the Shepherd is caught in the crossfire.

What to do when your onboard medic is missing and one of your crew has been shot? Other than have Zoe take the bullet out of him, of course? You listen to Inara and take him to the Alliance, because you have no other choice. Doing so made the crew realize that the Shepherd might be keeping secrets from them - who is he, that the Alliance immediately took him to emergency care after saying that they wouldn't? And why wasn't Inara there when they showed up? (Because this is an extremely necessary plot point? Oh, okay.)

As for Simon and River, they were left abandoned on Jiangyin, which is apparently a world in need of a doctor. So, naturally, after River's few minutes of dancing and happiness, after she immediately stops the exact moment that Book gets shot, some of the townsfolk (is that the correct term here? Worldsfolk? Spacefolk?) abduct Simon. Of course.

His medical assistant, a local teacher, seems to think that Simon has found a new home. She was probably just trying to convince him to stay, but during this episode we realize that Simon is a misfit, just like the rest of Serenity's crew. He doesn't fit in with a crew of bandits, but he isn't exactly the kind of haughty bourgeois robot his parents so wanted him to be. He doesn't really know where he fits in, and he's been too busy taking care of his sister to really think about it. And then, as cheesy as this sounds, he realizes that where he belongs is wherever River needs him to be.

He bravely threatens to go up in flames with the sister who's about to be burned at the stake as a witch - which, yes, is a plot point in this episode. I'm not sure how I feel about the show taking an unexpected paranormal turn, but it's handled really well. I most certainly wouldn't expect River to be called a witch, but the people of Jiangyin suddenly turned into an angry mob and River needed saving. So Simon did what needed to be done. And the Serenity showed up right on time, because they're big damn heroes. (Ain't they just?)

I didn't remember this episode as well as I thought I did - which is a pleasant surprise, because it was almost like watching it for the first time. Plus, I got to make it through the whole episode without realizing that young Simon was played by Zac Efron, which meant I got to save my inappropriate guffaws for the end credits!

I think it was the hair that distracted me.

Firefly Rewatch 2012: "Shindig"

"Up until the punching, it was a real nice party."

I'm back from my trip and catching up on the nerd initiative to rewatch the brilliant-but-cancelled Firefly, to mark the show's ten-year anniversary. This week: "Shindig." Original air date: November 1, 2002.

I have an admission to make: "Shindig" might be my favourite episode of Firefly. It's my go-to episode whenever I see my DVDs sitting on the shelf and immediately need to go back to the 'verse. I don't think I'll ever tire of watching it. Directed by TV journeyman Vern Gillum (whose name sounds like he should be on the show, no?) and written by the fantastic Jane Espenson. She's worked with Joss Whedon since Buffy and has since lent her talents to top-notch sci-fi series and comedies. She's also a great follow on Twitter. But I think the main reason why I'm singing her praises is because she wrote this episode.

I wrote in my "Out of Gas" post that Fox made a sort-of bold decision in airing such a powerful episode so early in the show's run. Unfortunately, the contrast between "Out of Gas" and "Shindig" is proof that this show was mishandled. Sure, "Shindig" is a much lighter, less emotionally destructive episode, and a welcome change, but there's no continuity. Firefly may not need to rely on heavily serial storytelling, but there are literally no consequences following an episode in which two characters came very close to death. It just doesn't make any sense.

However, on its own, "Shindig" is pure awesome. There are so many things I love about it, mostly because all of the characters have a moment of their own. This episode reminds me why I love all of them.

I love River because of how completely unpredictable she is. In this episode, rather than just being taken over by the fear and paranoia that have ruined her, she verbally lays out the small-time crook that Serenity's crew didn't want to do business with.
I love Book and Simon because they take such good care of River. Such endless patience. It's incredible.
I love Inara because she's smarter and more refined than any of the men rich enough to pay her. Atherton Wing, her client in this episode, is a perfect example of that. He's so stuck-up and spoiled that he has to pay women to attend parties with him. He can't even rely on his fancy British accent to pick up girls, because every time he speaks he sounds like a moron. No wonder Mal spends half the episode wanting to punch him in the face.
I love Jayne because he never fails to make me laugh. Also because he is Jayne Cobb.
I love Wash and Zoe because they have the perfect marriage.
I love Mal because he's loyal to the people he cares about, no matter what. And because of his hilarious suit and tight pants.

And I love Kaylee because she's so honest. No filters. So true to herself. She loves getting dirty and fixing things just as much as she loves fancy buffet tables and fluffy dresses. And no matter whether she's fixing something or walking through a fancy party, she never even pretends to hide her emotions. Also, I love that she calls Mal "Captain Tightpants."

Since it took me so long to crank out this post, I rewatched this episode with the DVD commentary on. I learned that the show's costume designer loved this show maybe even more than fans do. She made sure that every detail was perfect, that every costume told a story. She made sure that all of the designs on Jayne's shirts said something about him. She borrowed a hoop skirt that had been used in The King and I to make Kaylee's pink dress. And she used the skirt from her own wedding dress for Inara's gown. No series before or since has looked quite like it, and it's a shame that it was cancelled so early, because her eye for costumes was incredible.

Mighty fine shindig.

Firefly Rewatch 2012: "Out Of Gas"

I'm back from my trip and catching up on the nerd initiative to rewatch the brilliant-but-cancelled Firefly, to mark the show's ten-year anniversary. This week: "Out of Gas." Original air date: October 25, 2002.

There are quite a few lessons I learned in film school that have stuck with me. One of them is a quote attributed to Jean-Luc Godard: "A story must have a clear beginning, middle, and end... but not necessarily in that order." That's what "Out of Gas" is all about - using nonlinear storytelling to pack an emotional punch.

I wasn't ready to watch this episode again. I remembered that it was brilliant episode, and that I loved the way it used flashbacks, but I also remembered that it was a lot to handle. Unfortunately, due to my (oft-delayed) Firefly rewatch mission, I had no choice.

The very first thing you see and hear in this episode is nothing. The ship is still, empty, quiet. I've said before that this show is so clever, so dialogue-heavy that the silent moments always come as a shock. The first sign of life? Mal, barely alive, hitting the ground. In the ten years that have passed, Nathan Fillion has aged a little bit, and somehow he looks especially young in this particular shot. Too young to die, and yet I know that that's a serious possibility.

Over the course of these 40-some-odd minutes, we see how the show's characters joined the crew, and almost get an idea of what made them bond together. We see how they came on the ship, how they leave it, and how they almost could have died without an escape plan. We see that Mal is a real captain, through and through, and how his responsibility to his ship outweighs everything else that's important to him. There's some vintage Firefly levity in there, but it's mostly just Tim Minear making us feel our feelings.

This episode was intended to air much later in the series' run - when we're even more attached to the characters and the ship, but in a way, Fox made a really ambitious decision by messing with the intended air date of this particular episode. Putting your characters in mortal danger and exposing their backstories when viewers are only five episodes in? That's big. And it happened two whole years before ABC aired Lost, whose third episode ("Walkabout") threw its viewers right into the kind of intense storytelling that would make the show famous. And, like "Walkabout," it's the kind of episode that never loses its impact. (Sidebar: Jack Shephard vs. Mal Reynolds. Discuss.)

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think there's something in my eye.

Firefly Rewatch 2012: "Jaynestown"

"We gotta go to the crappy town where I'm a hero!"

I'm back from my trip and catching up on the nerd initiative to rewatch the brilliant-but-cancelled Firefly, to mark the show's ten-year anniversary. This episode: "Jaynestown." Original air date: October 18, 2002.

So, this episode was written by Ben Edlund, who went on to write and produce for Supernatural. He wrote an episode called "Hollywood Babylon," which was so deliciously Whedonesque that I should have known it was written by someone who's worked with the man himself.

There are so many things I love about "Jaynestown." Edlund involves every character in this episode in one way or another. Except for maybe Zoe. I could have used more Zoe. (And maybe more Wash.)

This may be a Jayne-centric episode but I want to write about River and Shepherd Book first. Their subplot may not have seemed that it important, but it was fun, well-written, and moving. I absolutely love the scene where River is fixing the Shepherd's Bible because it's "broken." In just one sentence, Edlund exhibits both the mania and the incredible brainpower that makes River so interesting, and then leads it into this exchange:

• Book: River, you don't fix the Bible.
• River: It's broken. It doesn't make sense.
• Book: It's not about making sense. It's about believing in something, and letting that belief be real enough to change your life. It's about faith. You don't fix faith, River. It fixes you.

And that, kids, (WARNING: possible church-y sounding stuff ahead, deal with it) is one of the most honest statements about faith I have ever seen in the media. I don't really see a lot of mainstream shows and movies that take the time for a scene like this one, that speaks so loudly about the role that faith can have in a person's life, or the way that it can be viewed by others, without rolling its eyes and dismissing everyone as an extremist or a freak of some kind. But the way that Shepherd Book feels about faith? That's how I feel, in the exact words that I would have used to say it, if I had just known to find them. It doesn't happen often that you find a phrase that expresses your exact feelings, and I kind of can't believe that I did. (Interesting bit of knowledge for you: this year is the Year of Faith in the Catholic Church.)

Oh, this post is starting to run long, isn't it? Okay. I'll skip right to the Jayne stuff. After all, this was one of the episodes I chose to watch shortly before my Adam Baldwin encounter at Montreal Comic-con.

The A-plot of this episode was brilliant. Smart, poignant, endlessly quotable. It starts out a little rough, when we see just how difficult things are in Canton, a mud-farming community that's rich in mud but otherwise dirt poor. But as soon as we find out that there's a statue in Canton of folk hero, Jayne Cobb, things get awfully interesting. And they only get better as Jayne receives (quite literally) a hero's welcome. And then when they sing a song about him. Here's the song, performed by Adam Baldwin himself even though he told us at Montreal Comic-con that he'd promised Joss Whedon he wouldn't wear the Jayne hat OR sing the song:

My research hasn't yielded a definite answer about who wrote the song. It may have been Ben Edlund, but like a lot of nerds I suspect it was written by Joss himself. (By the way, according to Whedonverse legend, Joss Whedon had never written music before he sat down to write the musical episode of Buffy. That's talent.)
This episode was a great showcase for everything I love about Jayne: the hard-drinking, the egotism, the womanizing... But then again, basically every episode is a great showcase for Jayne. His reaction upon finding out that he's a local hero is priceless. First he's embarrassed (a sign of the remorse that we don't yet know about), then he soaks up all his fame and the alcohol that comes with it, then he realizes that he might be in trouble when the people of Canton expect him to continue being heroic, and then the whole mess that happens when the illusion is shattered and everyone finds out he isn't a hero after all. And somehow, even Jayne is disappointed in himself.

“You think there’s someone just gonna drop money on ya? Money they could use? Well, there ain’t people like that. There’s just people like me.”

Another episode, another brilliant plot twist. I love you, Firefly.

Firefly Rewatch 2012: "Our Mrs. Reynolds"

I'm back from my trip and catching up on the nerd initiative (post-vacation) to rewatch the brilliant-but-cancelled Firefly, to mark the show's ten-year anniversary. This week: "Our Mrs. Reynolds." Original air date: October 4, 2002.

One thing I've been doing as I rewatch Firefly is observing how much has changed in the ten years since these episodes aired. One change that you can't help but notice in "Our Mrs. Reynolds" is, well, Mrs. Reynolds. In 2002, almost no one knew who this pretty red-haired girl was:

In 2012, well, come on. Christina Hendricks, am I right, everyone?

Even before Mad Men was a twinkle in Matt Weiner's eye, Christina Hendricks proved she knew how to hold it down. She owns this episode as a young woman who is offered as a wife to Captain Mal - except he was so drunk during the ceremony that he doesn't remember marrying her, and this poor naive girl is terrified that she has displeased him somehow. She's the anti-Zoe: she relinquishes all control to her husband and wants only to make him happy. Then she starts seducing everyone and drugging them, and it turns out that our Mrs. Reynolds isn't what she seems to be. And I just sit there and watch as Firefly throws me another plot twist. 

I think my favourite part of this episode was the moment when "Saffron" (using quotes since that's not her real name and we don't know what to call her) meekly reveals to Mal that she's his wife, and Mal (for the first time in the series so far) can't think of anything, witty or otherwise, to say. He is rendered completely speechless from the shock. It's just a brilliantly scripted bit in a show that I normally love for its dialogue.

What is it about this show that just gets to me? You know, other than the dialogue, the characters, the plotting, and the fact that there will probably never be another show like it? I still can't put my finger on it, but I'll keep catching up until I find out.

Firefly Rewatch 2012: "Bushwhacked"

I'm taking part in the nerd initiative to rewatch the brilliant-but-cancelled Firefly, one episode a week, in the order that they aired, to mark the show's ten-year anniversary. This week: "Bushwhacked." Original air date: September 27, 2002.

I've got to be perfectly honest and admit that I have zero memory of this episode. Which isn't so bad when you think about it, because there is so little of this show that eventually, enough rewatches will make you feel like you've seen it a million times. I'll enjoy watching things while they still seem new, because sometimes you get to the point where you wish you could see a certain episode for the first time all over again.

Here's an episode summary from DenOfGeek, which is about as concise as it can get: "The episode centres on the crew's discovery of a seemingly abandoned ship, after literally colliding with one of its occupants. What they discover (apart from the goods they're looking to 'salvage') is a massacre, presumably by the brutal and deadly Reavers. Before being brought in by the Alliance, they rescue the ship's only survivor, and the true extent of his psychological damage puts everyone in danger."

oh also, one of the husbands from Desperate Housewives is in it.

A bit of quick research didn't yield any information about what kind of budget this episode had, but it has pretty great production value. (Except for maybe the scenes in the Alliance ship, because somehow the Alliance always kind of looks like generic sci-fi. The Alliance ought to see to their girl.) I loved the camera work in this episode. The fact that a TV show that's ten years old can still look so impressive after ten years, after a deluge of cable networks put out expensive-looking shows and major networks tried to hard to imitate them, is pretty amazing.

This episode shows us two of the biggest evils in the 'Verse: First, there's the Alliance. In this episode, they seem an awful lot like the governments we know and hate: bureaucratic and intelligent, but also kind of a major annoyance. They're more of a thorn in your side than a knife in your back. Then, there are the Reavers. We don't even see the Reavers in this episode - we just see the results of their actions, and it's enough to scare us. Basically they leave hanging heaps of dead bodies in their trail, and only one survivor who is so mentally scarred by what he witnessed that all he can do is start to become like the monsters that killed everyone on his ship. He's not even actually a Reaver (at least, not yet?) and he's nowhere near human anymore. The violence in this episode is still pretty scary.

There aren't quite as many one-liners in this episode, but the writing is good enough that even though it's only the second episode, we get a good sense of who all these characters are. I guess having a character interview the ship's entire crew kind of makes this easy.

...or the writers can say an awful lot by not even writing any dialogue.

I liked that all of the characters seemed like they had a role in this episode, no matter how big or small. This episode is also really great for River, who in "The Train Job" (and, if memory serves, in the pilot as well) was more of a plot device than a person. Yes, she did cool martial arts stuff, and she said a lot of creepy things, but in "Bushwhacked" she actually seems a lot more human, and I found myself feeling more sympathy for her than I usually do. It's not that I don't like River, I just feel like her mental state can at times make it more difficult for the audience to understand her. (I do actually like River a lot, because there aren't a lot of other characters out there quite like her, except for maybe every other character that's been specifically written for Summer Glau in the last ten years.)

All in all, "Bushwhacked" isn't the episode that the series is best remembered for, but every good first season has an early episode that helps to expose what the show is all about, and that's what we have here. And no, I still do not have a favourite character. And yes, I still wish that in another life I could be brilliant enough to think up a show like this.

Look for Firefly Rewatch every weekend from now until I run out of episodes. If I'm on this continent, I will be watching Firefly. (I say this because I might be out of the continent for two weeks.)

Firefly Rewatch 2012: "The Train Job"

As mentioned in my last post, Joss Whedon's short-lived series Firefly premiered ten years ago this week. After seeing pictures from the cast reunion at San Diego Comic-Con, and reacquainting myself with my inner Joss Whedon fangirl at Montreal Comic-Con, I've decided to rewatch it. The same way it aired - one episode a week, in the (completely illogical) order that they aired.

Okay, who are we kidding. My inner Joss Whedon fangirl was not hiding anywhere. Whedon's writing changed both television and its viewers, including me. I didn't actually watch Firefly when it first aired - somehow, a print journalist saying that a new series is a space western didn't convince me to watch it. Buffy was still on the air at the time, so I had my fix of Whedonesque writing, and there was so much on TV that I didn't even give it a try. Maybe, if I'd had a nerdy enough friend at the time to explain to me what exactly made it a space western and just how damn cool that is, I would have been convinced.

So, let me be that friend and tell you in just a few words what makes Firefly great, if you've never watched it: All of the adventure and the planet-hopping of Star Wars. (Space!) An ensemble cast of good-guy rebels played by actors that I immediately became attached to. (Western!) Lovable characters and the kind of writing that you could only get when a choice screenwriter brings his A-game and assembles a crack team of writers. There are no other shows quite like it, and you just need to watch it to understand why.

If you're watching the series for the first time, I highly recommend that you watch it in the order that Joss Whedon (and God) intended. Since the fans are rewatching them in the order that they aired (and so I could see what all of the anger is about) I'm doing that, too.

First up: "The Train Job," which was the first episode to air but was intended as a second episode after the two-part pilot. In this episode, the crew of Serenity are hired by a creepy-looking man with a ridiculous accent (and a propensity for threats) to steal cargo from a train, only to realize that some paydays just aren't worth the money.

The first two minutes or so of the episode (or rather, of the series as it aired on Fox) look like basically any sci-fi series ever, in terms of production value. Luckily, as soon as three of our main characters are onscreen, the actors and the dialogue demonstrate that isn't isn't just any sci-fi series ever. We get a pretty good sense of who these characters are: Mal is charming, witty, and stubborn, Jayne is bristlier and more badass than most action heroes, and Zoe is tough as nails. If I was watching this show for the first time, I probably wouldn't have had such a good grasp on any of the other characters. The viewer gets a base for who these characters are in the big picture of things - but they don't get a really clear view of that picture. Most of the pilot's audience probably scratched their heads, trying to figure out who some of these characters were and how they came together. In particular, all we see of River is that she's unstable but we don't really know why, or who she is, and that's pretty unfair considering that she gets a hell of an introduction in the original pilot.

This episode, like most of the series, gives us a really interesting picture of good and bad in the universe that Whedon has created here. Thieves for hire are supposed to be the bad guys, but once they realize that they are (because that the medical supplies they've been hired to steal are desperately needed by the people they stole it from), they immediately change their minds about what they've done. Except for Jayne, who thinks that a job is a job, and might be a little bit intimidated by a scary crime lord and his face-tattooed minion. Inara has more social power and respect than Shepherd Book, and Book knows it. These characters are in a really interesting place on the moral spectrum, and I think that will continue to figure as the series goes on.

Overall, "The Train Job" tempers what could have been a really heavy episode with so much humour and excitement that it hardly feels serious at all. Now, almost every bit of dialogue is delicious, but this episode has one of everyone's favourite lines:

It also has one of my favourite lines:

(Okay, actually, that entire scene is brilliant. I think this may be Adam Baldwin's best role, even though I've stated before that I love all his work.)

This is an extremely watchable episode, but it's an extremely watchable second episode. It doesn't necessarily function well as a pilot, no matter how hard it tries, because it wasn't written as one.

But who ever trusts the networks to make good decisions, anyway?

Look for Firefly Rewatch every weekend from now until I run out of episodes. If I'm on this continent, I will be watching Firefly. (I say this because I might be out of the continent for two weeks.)