Plus/Minus: Doctor, Doctor, give me the news

In case you missed the news, someone identifying himself only as Dr. CK took out a full-page ad in the Montreal Gazette today to publish a letter expressing how sad he was that P.K. Subban isn't a Canadien anymore. (We don't know Dr. CK’s gender, and I hate to make assumptions, but let's be real he's probably a dude. I don't know many women who'd part with that much money just to not be a fan of their favourite team. I do, however, know some male politicians who'd spend stacks of money on "investigative commissions" and gazebos and at least one male NHL GM who thought Scott Gomez was worth nine million American dollars. Sorry, gents, but I'm pinning this one on you.) If you haven't read it, here's a quick summary: "Dear P.K., you are an awesome player and a good dude and I miss you already. You deserved to wear the CH for your entire career like so many legends who came before you. Also, I'm assuming you are still a loyal reader of the Montreal Gazette. Dear people who traded P.K., I'm super mad at you and we're not friends anymore. Like, I'm not even going to open my envelope of season tickets. So I took out this full-page ad because I thought you'd want to know.”

Now, I'm still very upset about the trade. I haven't written here since it happened. I spent the summer contemplating backup NHL teams and/or a sleep schedule that would allow me to watch a full night's worth of NBA games and still wake up in time for work the next day. I did not, however, spend a ton of money to self-publish on the same medium that Lesley Chesterman uses to complain that she had to wait for a table at a popular restaurant.

According to a journalist at CBC, a full-page ad in the Gazette costs around $20 000. Season tickets for 2016-17 start at $1795. The money that Dr. CK is spending to not attend games would fund at least 27 round-trip flights to Nashville for a weekend, or 128 Preds jerseys with #76 on them, or multiples of every item tagged "PK Subban" on Etsy. Or nearly two thousand beers at the Bell Centre. Or 174 tickets to the Montreal Children's Hospital's next fundraiser. Dr. CK spent more money on the Habs this fall than I earned – overall, pre-tax – the year that I started this blog. Was it worth it? Let's break it down.

PLUS
+ Dr. CK, You're injecting a lot of money into local journalism, and maybe single-handedly saving print media.
+ You inspire hope in young Montrealers who thought they'd have to move to Toronto to make that kind of cash.
+ I mean, at least you already have your tickets to the Habs-Preds game, right?

MINUS
- You could've just joined Instagram to tell P.K. you miss him.
- By paying for your season tickets and letting them sit in an envelope, you're still giving money to the very team that you no longer want to support, but you aren't getting anything in return.
- You'll just be the latest in an unfortunately long history of potentially embarrassing Habs fans that the rest of us have to answer for. Seriously, Dr. CK, if you've never been on the receiving end of endless insults from some loser Penguins/Leafs/Bruins/Flyers fan who can't let anything go... then maybe you've missed more games than you think.

The Golden State Warriors fanbase is full of people like this, isn’t it? There is truly no escape.

Observations from someone who left a Habs game early

I was vastly disappointed by the result of last night's hockey match between the Canadiens of Montreal and the Kings of Los Angeles. First of all, I expected something much more regal and understated, and more in line with the Kings' team name. I have dined with several kings, you see, and I found them to be much calmer in demeanour and smaller in stature than the boorish athletes I saw on the ice wearing synthetic fabrics.

I did not pay very much to sit a few rows behind the glass at the Bell Centre, which is a terrible name for a public place since it bears the name of but a lowly inventor, rather than a great horseman or perhaps a duke. I thought that I would partake in the watching of this sport, despite its popularity with the working classes. I can understand why citizens of lower classes enjoy such events, as the tickets cost a pittance! Beverages were sold at a very low cost as well, though that is to be expected as they were served in plastic cups. I did not care for the easy availability of alcoholic beverages, nor for the noise level that was unnaturally high for a crowd of so many thousands. I was very fortunate to have been warned of this by my footman, and prepared myself by asking my manservant to fetch my mink earplugs before I left my manse.

I noticed that every time the Kings of Los Angeles inserted the rubber disk into the cordoned-off area behind the keeper, the people inhabiting the seats in my row grew discouraged. It was not until the Canadiens' leader - I believe they call him a coach, though I saw no horses - chose to relieve the keeper of his duties, that I understood. This young man had not done his job properly, and as such was soon met with unemployment. The same very nearly happened when I watched one of my good friends fire his stable boy after a particularly loud sneeze. I was shocked at such a public display. Why, my crystal monocle nearly fell out of my eye! Such a fortunate stroke of luck that it did not, as it would likely have landed on the floor, or worse, on someone's denim pantaloons. Can you imagine? What a horrible thought.

It was also quite disappointing that the moving players on the Canadiens' squad were unable to allow their disks to reach the cordoned-off area behind the keeper. I expected them to be able to do this, as the Kings of Los Angeles were capable of this feat more than once. Ultimately, I began to lose patience and thought my time would be better spent elsewhere, as this hockey squad was unable to acknowledge the honour of my presence. They probably assumed that their amphitheatre was filled with people whose income is smaller than theirs, and not noblemen such as I. In order to avoid further disrespect on the part of this hockey squad, I thought it best to return to my manse and enjoy the rest of the evening sipping my finest brandy in the presence of my string quartet. I shan't be returning to the Bell Centre, as the quality of the entertainment was even lesser than the puny cost of admission.

I have learned my lesson.

Plus/Minus: Locked out of heaven

Okay, yes, I took this post title from a Bruno Mars song.
Sometimes at the office, it seems like everyone around me is talking at the same time, which can be a little distracting (to say the least.) So I drown them out with music. Last week I listened to Bruno Mars, and no you are not allowed to judge me for it. I danced in my office chair, despite my best efforts not to. That's kind of how I feel about having NHL hockey back in my life. I'm trying to play it cool and pretend nothing has changed, but sometimes the excitement just takes over and I dance in my office chair. (In my defence: "Runaway Baby.")

PLUS

+ 2 One for each of our rookie Gallys, in honour of their first NHL goals.
+ Every time Ryan White accomplishes something, he gets a Plus. That's just how I run things around here. Ryan White scored a goal(!) and thus, he gets a Plus.
+ Czechtacular and I were hoping that Brandon Prust would not disappoint us. Between the punching and the scoring, he most definitely met our high expectations.
+ In my most recent appearance on the Habs 360 podcast, I said that Andrei Markov would be back in full force. I'm not giving myself this Plus - I'm giving Andrei Markov this Plus for being the amazing player I know he is.
+ A good captain has to "get" his role. He has to know what his team needs from him, and what his fans want from him. Brian Gionta delivered both in the season opener. I couldn't be prouder to have him as my captain.
+ Oh thank goodness I can finally stop hiding my #76 jersey between cardigans in my closet because P.K. is back!

MINUS

- Max Pacioretty's 3-4 week absence is a nightmare. Literally. I have this dream that seems to recur whenever I have a major event or responsibility coming up: The big day is just around the corner and I suddenly end up in the hospital with appendicitis, and I have to get on the phone and tell someone that I can't make it. (And, in the dream, I act like I'm really sorry to let everyone down, even though in real life I'd probably be all sick and feverish and asking for Tylenol.) Get well soon, Max.
- "A Girl's Guide to Watching the Rangers"? Just no. Stop. Anyone who writes garbage like this should just stop writing altogether.

- Hey, Fox? I understand that Ben & Kate's ratings weren't great, but you do realize that you had the two-hour comedy block that you've always wanted, and it was good, and you just punched a hole out of it, right?

Note to readers: For the rest of the season, Plus/Minus may be published intermittently, rather than on a weekly basis.

Plus/Minus has ESPN or something

Last week, I had this urge to find tickets to Friday's Habs-Sens game and go with the guys I work with who are Ottawa fans. (It's because they're from Ottawa.) They didn't want to go, so I didn't look for tickets. Then the Habs basically ended the game in the first period. I guess we're all psychic?

PLUS

+ Erik Cole hat trick!
+ Ryan White has been playing with even more attitude than usual lately. If he doesn't get picked up for next season soon, I may need therapy.

+ Nice pun, Canadiens website.
+ Thanks, NFL, for your quarterback circle of life. It was very entertaining. Welcome to the Jets, Tim Tebow.
+ To the Miami Heat players who have been brave enough to speak out about the unjust death of Trayvon Martin. I love it when athletes stand up for what they believe is right.
+ If you haven't been listening to The Kaufman Show on TSN 990, you missed a great, honest, candid interview with Patrick Burke about the You Can Play project. I can't wait to see the new PSA's they've got coming up.
EDIT: + J.T. Wyman - yes, that one - scored a game-winning goal tonight.

MINUS
- Habs, you have to stop getting shut out by Buffalo. It hurts me more than it hurts you.
- So, they're building that new arena in Quebec City, and I believe the government is pitching in, and no one's protesting. Damn it, people, you protest against everything else. But the provincial government spending money on something that private investors would gladly put their money into? No? Cool story, bro.
- To every person who has made a "Sedin sisters" comment recently. (Can't call them jokes, because they're not funny.) I wish I could scream some sense into you, but unfortunately all I can do is give you this lousy minus.

The season might be winding down, but there's plenty of time for more hat tricks!!

Plus/Minus: a thriller of a week.

Any week where snowfalls don't outnumber Habs wins is a good week, right?

PLUS

+ How great is our captain? What a week for Brian Gionta.
+ Carey Price was just one of the younger guys who impressed me this week. PK put points on the board. Yannick Weber was great against the Rangers. And Picard actually did things.
+ Johan Franzen scored five goals in one game. Um. I don't even know what to say. Other than I'd look really good right now if I'd put him on my All-Star team. And "you don't mess with the Johan."
+ G9 Sports, launched on February 1st, should be in your bookmarks. It's a website, written entirely by female sports fans, that covers every major North American league. Most of its writing staff don't have other blogging outlets, so it's also a great showcase for writers who seriously know their stuff. Take note of two of G9's hockey blogs: "Straight Jackets" which is run by our friend Dannie, and "Leaf It To Her" which may be a Leafs blog but it's also run by our friend Bhavna, who introduced us to the "Joe Thornton Is Canada" concept. We're incredibly proud of both of them. And you should be too!
+ Biznasty scored a goal!!!
+ Congratulations, Green Bay Packers! Now I don't have to stop wearing my Packers tuque.
+ Oh, and the Habs fans at the Super Bowl. Proof that a) we're everywhere and b) there are more expensive tickets in sports. (Which does not refute a Minus in this post.)

MINUS

- See that picture up there? Someone wrote that on the wall in a bathroom by the Bell Centre. I found it on Saturday after the Rangers game ended. I'm often grossed out by things I see in public bathrooms, but this might be the worst. Who on earth would desecrate a public place like this? Those walls are reserved for Habs' names and hearts. This is like graffiti terrorism.
- The snow (or something) prevented Team 990 superfan Louis from being at work on Wednesday night. He's an usher at the Bell Centre, and I was a little disappointed to see he wasn't at the entrance to his section. I could've totally been recognized for the non-celebrity I am. After all, it's not like being the girl on Game Points every Tuesday will get me free meals at the city's finest restaurants.
- Concessions at the Bell Centre got even more expensive. My popcorn was $6.60, and Steph Darwish of Lady Loves Hockey noticed that beer now costs $10.10. What? I remember when beer cost $9.75.
- George W. Bush, Cameron Diaz, and A-Rod were all on TV during the Super Bowl. OK, whatever, thanks, but next time can we see someone on TV who's either relevant or cheering for one of the teams that's playing? There were plenty of celebrities at the Super Bowl. And I bet most of them weren't stuffing popcorn into A-Rod's mouth.

- So a lot of people were upset by a contest on MotherPucker.ca called "Twitter Hockey Hottie" wherein  girls with pretty profile pictures get seeded, then voted off bracket-style and the winner gets a prize. The upside to this contest was that the women who participated last year didn't pander to the online creeps and put up ridiculous pictures that make them look like Maxim wannabe-models. That's literally the upside. So, obviously, this contest already looks like it would be minus material. People spoke out against it, and the guy running the contest decided to cancel it. Of course, he didn't apologize to the people who disagreed with him. He was just too lazy to take the heat for something he'd done, so basically no one on either side of this "debate" is happy. He should have either continued the contest and accepted all the hate directed at him, or cancelled the contest and ended it there, instead of whining like a petulant child. But that's my two cents.

Oh, and happy birthday, Steven Stamkos!

Quebec City: the last straw

I'm not the first or the last person to enter the debate about bringing NHL hockey back to Quebec City. I haven't spent much time in Quebec City but I like it there. And, obviously, I might like hockey. I think there are good arguments on both sides of the debate, but I've made up my mind. Sorry, old Nordiques fans.

I don't want a team in Quebec City if I have to pay for it.

As you've likely already heard, there's a push within government to pay 45% of the construction costs of a new arena/amphitheatre in Quebec City. I can't be the only person out there who finds this a bit ridiculous.

First of all, the Colisee is still an adequate venue for concerts and public events. I went to a concert there last year and it wasn't in shambles. It's a little old, and not as shiny or as spacious as the Bell Centre, but there's nothing wrong with it as a venue for concerts and whatnot. If by chance an NHL team moves or is added in Quebec, then a new arena to house the team is a good idea. Otherwise, it's not a necessity.

If there's so much interest in bringing the NHL back to Quebec City, how come there isn't more money involved at this stage? There are a few wealthy people in this province, including those who entered the fray when the Canadiens were up for sale last year. Surely some of them are legitimately interested in buying a sports team and weren't just taking advantage of the Canadiens' centennial anniversary and its press coverage. (Okay, I'm being naive here.) Has Jim Balsillie decided to give up on the dream that used to keep him in the news? Does he know that there's been more and more talk about this bid to get another hockey team in Canada? (Please ignore the can of worms I opened by saying "Canada") Maybe Balsillie has stopped trying, realizing that Gary Bettman (not unlike the iPhone) will beat him every time.

State-of-the-art arenas don't exactly come cheap. Building the Bell Centre cost about $270 million. Three levels of government will be paying for about half a stadium. Can't our government's money be better spent? We have bridges that need repairs, roads that need paving, and flaws in our healthcare system that should have been fixed already. Our CEGEPs are overcrowded and our unemployment rates could probably be better. Why can't this money go to public transit or any other more pressing matter before making lofty promises to hockey fans?

I don't want two hockey teams to be the only pride of this province. I'd prefer it if our government took care of our needs before our wants, because there are some things that private investors can't take care of.