Preparing for a Habs-less playoff season

I've never seen a Habs-free postseason, but I think I've made my peace with this season and now I'm ready for the playoffs to start.
Proof that I miss the Habs: I can't bring myself to uphold my tradition of making my own playoff bracket.
Proof that I'll be okay: I've already busted out my "unlucky" Josh Gorges shirt, after leaving it in the depths of an untouched dresser drawer since September. I'm so happy to be wearing it again, it's ridiculous.

I don't really know how to deal with the playoffs when the Habs aren't in them, but here's what I've figured out so far:

As usual, I'll attach myself to players on a few different teams (my "playoff boyfriends," for lack of a better term.) This year's playoff boyfriends include Erik Karlsson and returning favourite Jonathan Ericsson. If there's a Karl Jonathansson in the playoffs, I'll probably put him on the list, too.

I'll paint my nails just to avoid biting them down to stubs during most of these playoff series. (Especially YOU, Vancouver-Los Angeles.)

I'll wait for crazy John Tortorella antics with bated breath, and mentally compare them with Dan Bylsma's postgame pressers.

I'm going to use every possible opportunity to say "SMASHVILLE!" out loud because it's just so much damn fun to say. And I'll hope for as much Hal Gill screen time as possible.

I might get whiplash from changing alliances so often, because I'm so excited for most of these matchups.

I'll probably spend a whole lot of weekends napping and a whole lot of weekday mornings eating Nutella and drinking caffeine, because of course the Western Conference has the most exciting matchups and I'll be skipping a couple hours of sleep each night.

I'll give Washington fans as much support as they need in booing the Bruins. And more.

I'll keep an eye on the best playoff beards, and hope that the Heart and Stroke Foundation's Beard-A-Thon raises a lot of money. Which remains to be seen, because Shea Weber isn't participating, and we all know that Shea Weber's beard is where the money is at.

Happy playoffs!

Plus/Minus is not hiding out in the locker room

I guess I needed a few days off from hockey to stop squeeing with excitement at all of the winning. And to catch up on everything on my DVR.

Yes, that is where Scott Gomez goes when he goes to work

PLUS
+ I had a great time at the FestiFan today. I got to visit some areas of the Bell Centre that are usually off-limits to lowly fan-blogger-folk like me, and see the NHL tablecloth that goes under the Stanley Cup! (You may not know how much I want a tablecloth like that.) And Michel Lacroix told me I was prettier than the people who usually keep him company in the penalty box. Doesn't every girl want to hear that she's prettier than Zdeno Chara?

+ Andrei Kostitsyn might have to take up baking, because his haters need a plate of humble pie.
+ Okay, okay. I reluctantly give a Plus to Erik Cole because maybe he has a purpose.
+ Steven Stamkos scored a hat trick! Matt Duchene scored a hat trick! (So did a Bruin but whatever.)
+ Parks and Recreation has found the right balance of hilarity and heart. If the entire "End of the World" episode isn't proof of that, then you need to watch it - and the Halloween episode - again.

MINUS

- Rangers fans chanting "USA! USA!" at Madison Square Garden. Um, what? Why? Our captain is from the same place as your captain, and your goals (except for that BS empty-netter) were scored by Canadians.
- Terrible, terrible penalty calls in the game against the Rangers.
- I had to wait a month to watch Fox's Tuesday comedy lineup again... and I was kind of disappointed.

Can someone please help me find enough tea to calm down Czechtacular for the week, what with the Oilers and the Phoenix? She may go insane.

'Dogs are in town tomorrow...

There's a new breed of Bulldogs coming to Montreal tomorrow night.

The Movember kind.

Scary thought of what that holds aside, our farm team's not doing too shabby as of late. After taking forever to kick off this season (seriously, the rest of the AHL was 3 games in going "where are you?") they've now got a record of 6-1-1-2 and 15 points, good for first on the leaderboard in the North Division. While Oklahoma City and San Antonio also have 15 points, only Wilkes-Barre and Portland are ahead of them in the whole league.

David. Desharnais. He's a long way from that Canada/Russia Series five years ago where I pointed out that Guillaume Latendresse could eat him in one bite if he wasn't too careful. Most notably he has a point in every single game, 14 in ten games to be exact, 6th in the AHL overall. Max Pacioretty, who recently commented that the best thing for him would be to play all of this season in Hamilton, isn't too far behind. Dubbed "Maximillion" by 820 CHAM's Derek Wills, he has played every bit like the player we eventually want to see in Montreal, racking up 12 points in ten games.

Any lamenters of PK Subban's departure have also zipped their lips by now (or must have been hiding under a rock as of late if they continue to go on about it). Yannick Weber has stepped up where needed and bolstered the blueline in addition to putting up six goals, the most of any defenseman league-wide.

The Binghamton Senators, their opponent tomorrow night at the Bell Centre, haven't been quite as fortunate. Sitting at 6th in the East Division with a 4-3-1-1 record, they've struggled a little in terms of consistency and stringing wins together as their key forwards have struggled to produce. Right winger Bobby Butler, however, has notched five goals in nine games and at least a point in almost every single one. Also, goaltender Robin Lehner is back after a stint with the big club, which will be another thing to look out for tomorrow night.

Just one more day

(Apologies, this is going to be a very brief post.)

Just think. 24 hours from now we will have watched the first game of the Canadiens' season. FINALLY.

I, for one, would be very okay with Josh Gorges making a tradition out of season-opener GWG's. Pretty please, Josh?

Today's cuts and Monday's suspension leave us without (among others) Alex Henry, Ryan White, and Mike Cammalleri. You know what that means: get ready, Moen and Lapierre. The Habs will need their fighters to be in top form.

If Carey Price really is missing tomorrow's game because of the flu, I'd like to put a plague upon the house of whoever let him catch that flu. (Yes, I'm aware that the house doesn't need a plague, as its inhabitants are probably already sick.) I have faith in Alex Auld, but this is clearly a different goaltending situation than the one our team was in last season. We can't afford to have a top goalie who's sick. Can the Canadiens hire someone to chase after players with warm blankets and Purell? I think it would be a good investment.

See you at puck drop!! ...Maybe not you, Carey.