The year that was, the year that will be.

You're probably all missing Rookie right now, as I am not the most reliable of bloggers seeing as I have missed just about the last ...oh, five games in a row due to the holidays and really, just not being around. I even betrayed you all for a bit by entering the ACC at the same time the Habs were set to face off against Dallas. Note that missing this much hasn't happened in the last twelve years, which either says something about my poker-playing skills or bad train-scheduling abilities.

But the Habs haven't exactly made me feel terrible about missing their frustrating, heart-wrenching, goal-starved performances. My phone has almost been choked to death the number of times I refresh my GameCenter app, hoping it's lying to me. I get back in the car on the way home and callers always seem to be on the verge of becoming clone artists of Angry Sal. It's upsetting and certainly unsettling that this is what they're going through, but maybe sitting these games out is what allows me not to want to panic, and be almost alone in that boat.

Or maybe it's the experience. 1998 was not your bandwagon 2004 year by any means, and that's when I came on board. AKA slumps like these are not the worst I've seen.

This. This is probably the worst thing I've seen.

This year marked a lot of things for the Bleu-Blanc-Rouge, which can (and should be) called upon to remember in times like these:

• Injuries, callups, demotions. Andrei Kostitsyn had knee surgery and Max Pacioretty ...he was just plain not ready. Despite all the flack he gets, Kostitsyn is still third in team scoring and leads with +9, whereas Pacioretty, after his excellent start in the AHL this season, was the lone guy to get on the board for the Habs last night.
• More injuries. The world seemed to end when Mike Cammalleri showed up in crutches to practice that day in February. Despite missing 17 games, he came back just in time for the playoffs and was instrumental in the Habs' run with 19 points in 19 games, 13 of them goals.

(But first we had to see him in That Suit. The one that did not look one bit like this one, unfortunately.)

• Pierre Gauthier named General Manager. In what can at best be called a bizarre move at a time no one expected anything from Bob Gainey, much less him stepping down, a new/old face stepped up to fill the void leaving Habs' fans more confused than before. He still gets questioned on a daily basis, but now it's "that Gauthier" instead of "that Gainey." More on what he HAS done later, though.
• Mid-February: P.K. Subban called up. His status then was God, with 39 points, a +29 and having all sorts of roles in record-breakers in Hamilton. His status now... not so much. I'm about to quote a girly movie, and I won't tell you which one, but we have to remember what used to be good, otherwise we won't recognize it if it hits us between the eyes.
• 24/7 has nothing on us. Possibly the best thing to happen to both the Penguins and the Capitals was facing the Habs in the playoffs this season. The two seven-game series were supposed to come out with different victors, but when does what's SUPPOSED to happen actually happen, anyway?
• Halaknophobia. Which is quite possibly the most amusing headline Canadiens.com has ever come up with, seeing as they're not Rookie. Who can forget the stop-signs and the walls and agent drama and goalie drama and putting that aside and just winning, for goodness' sake, and winning big. In the regular season, in the playoffs, bringing with it the hero status and The Trade. Oh no.
  
  
• And Pierre Gauthier's move eventually makes some bit of sense. The re-signing of Tomas Plekanec to a six year deal, keeping the guy who's currently leading the Canadiens in scoring where he should be and where he always pictured himself being despite the temptations of free-agency. It's a move that validates itself every day.
• Marc-Andre Bergeron: not re-signed. And thank your lucky stars. Could you imagine the state of the current D when he's what you have to rely on? Not that the suggestion won't be brought up again in these times of so-called peril #JustSayNo
• Guy Boucher named AHL Coach of the Year...only to wind up in Tampa Bay. And that's the last reference to last night's game that I think I'm going to safely be able to use in this post. But you have to admit it has enough bite to act as a motivator. Right? Right?
• Dan Ellis and Dustin Boyd to Montreal for S. Kostitsyn. Harsh critiques and Twitter-wars of massive proportions ensued in what would ordinarily be considered the least blockbuster-esque move in pre-July 1st history. Now, slowly but surely, Kostitsyn has found his niche in Nashville, which at least some of us wished for him (and even those that didn't can take solace in the fact that he's so far from this division it doesn't even matter), whereas Carey Price didn't even need Ellis, and Dustin Boyd, after a tumultuous heart-breaking series of waiver-trips, has exploded for ten goals in the AHL's longest goal-streak this season.
• Finally, a Captain. Brian Gionta was given the 'C', becoming the 28th player to wear it in the Habs' history. He now leads the team in goals (tied with Cammalleri) with 12 and shots with 150 (where he's also eighth in the whole league).
• Markov out again. Emphasis on again, because that word implies that it's happened before. It's starting to be felt only as of late, even if people might forget it happened back in November. That in itself is how far this team has come. Josh Gorges joins him now, and that's going to hurt more, but with injuries to the D comes the reminder of the LAST line of defense, which leads to...
• The resurgence of Carey Price. First stars and Molson Cups aplenty for the guy most had given up on last season, including him in trade rumours of the worst kind that are hopefully documented in many places where we can laugh at them. Who's that guy that didn't even make it to the All Star Ballot and is only behind--who is it? Marc-Andre Fleury in the goalie slot? Hmm.

I'm set to miss a sixth game in a row, unless Santa brought my grandfather RDS and didn't tell him about it. I'm going to go with no. And tonight the opponents are the Florida Panthers. Despite it being the second half of a back-to-back, call it just a little hunch that this team isn't about to surrender a 2010-ending W that easily.

Plus/Minus is not going to make a "Boxing Day" pun

Hope you all had a great Christmas, even if you don't celebrate it. Plus/Minus is a little short this week because sometimes I talk too much, so I'm giving my dear readers the gift of brevity.

PLUS

+ It's always nice when Team Canada wins their first game. This applies to both the World Juniors and the Spengler Cup, where former Hab Glen Metropolit is playing for Canada. (Bonus plus: I now kind of know what the Spengler Cup is!)
+ David Desharnais named AHL's First Star of the Week!
+ Andrei Kostitsyn scored a goal, to shut up all the haters. And Alexandre Picard has been making himself useful as well, which I guess should shut me up.

MINUS

- Lost to the New York Islanders. You know what hurts? Watching your Habs lose to the Islanders, then seeing the highlights three times on Sportscentre.
- Okay, I take it back. That probably didn't hurt as much as whatever mystery ailment is plaguing Josh Gorges. I've known for a while that things aren't going well for Josh, but now he isn't playing well, and Dave Stubbs reported that he left practice limping. I do not like any of this. At all.
- I almost forgot about that game against the Dallas Stars, but then I remembered. I wish I hadn't. (Aside: Conan was really funny that night, as I found out the next day.)
- I wasn't going to complain about anything I saw on 24/7, because I didn't want the show to hold back. But Matt Hendricks' bloody eye was a little tough to look at for extended periods of time. And Crosby's cup was the kind of thing that would have made me nauseous, if I hadn't known about it in advance and shielded my eyes.

What awesome Christmas gifts did you all get? Or give?
I went for a walk early last week in the cold (I just needed to move a bit and clear my mind), spent some time wandering around Centennial Plaza, and got the sniffles a few days later. The Montreal Canadiens are no good at Christmas presents.

Why I love the World Juniors

I liked international hockey before I liked the NHL. Sort of. The whole Canada beating USA for the gold medal at Salt Lake thing kind of helped. But it didn't convince me to start watching hockey all the time. I would have to take a few more steps to get there. One of those steps was the World Juniors.

Five years ago today I watched the IIHF World Junior Hockey Championship for the first time ever. Or, at least, the first time I remember. There were a few earlier instances in which I wondered why anyone would want to play so much hockey right after Christmas and waste away their whole winter vacation. It's Christmas, people. (I still sort of feel that way, because as much as I love watching the World Juniors, I feel a little bad for the players. You know these guys have at least twenty more holiday seasons where they might not get to relax for a few days and spend time with a family they almost never see.)

Anyway. Cut to late December 2005. Everyone but me has a fever and the only prescription is more Crosby. My older siblings kept ribbing me because he was my age and very good at hockey and on pace to be very, very rich someday. I didn't care. I saw no point in fawning over some horse-faced, overrated jock when there had been so many Rory Gilmore boyfriends who were so much more perfect? Plus, I had already claimed Carey Price as an alternative (sight unseen, and that worked out pretty well for me).

It turns out that watching guys my age playing hockey would be what got me just a little bit interested in the sport. No, not to find a hockey boyfriend. Okay, maybe just a little, but mostly I liked being able to relate to the players I was watching. I still do.

I don't remember much of what actually happened during the tournament, but I remember watching the games and I remember Canada winning. And really, when you think about it, what else matters? The tournament ended and I was richer: I remembered a handful of players from that team when I started watching NHL hockey. I'm happy every time Justin Pogge plays an NHL game. Every time I realize I'm watching a player who played for the 2006 squad, I smile a little. It was pretty cool to have three of the team's players briefly reunited on the Habs' roster this season. I even found my first hockey boyfriend (then-unseen Carey Price notwithstanding) on that team. Sasha Pokulok didn't skyrocket to NHL fame like a couple of his teammates, but he belonged to the Washington Capitals for a while and that's pretty cool. I look him up from time to time to see his stats. He's currently playing in Germany, after bouncing around a few teams I'd never heard of last season. He might be far away right now, but he's originally from Vaudreuil so maybe at some point, if I'm ever in the West Island during the offseason I might see him somewhere and tell him that five years ago, before I even liked hockey, I watched him play.

I'd like to say that I was immediately hooked on hockey after that, but it didn't happen that fast. Still, I can't believe it's already been five years since that WJHC, and how many of these players keep coming back to me. (There have been lots of random exclamations during my research for this post, most of them beginning or ending with "OF COURSE", as if I should have known that there was a subliminal reason why I like a certain city, player, or team.)

I liked cheering for Canada's world junior team in 2006. That hasn't changed, and I don't think it ever will.

My Canadiens: The Series

So I finally got to see the infamous Bell TV series about the Habs, thanks to TSN picking up "Your Canadiens." It was... special. You can read my review of the first episode over at All Habs. Long story short: it felt really good to be able to rip on a poorly produced TV show and watch 30 minutes of my favourite Hab at the same time.

Basically, what happens is Anne-Marie Withenshaw spends a few banal hours of "everyday life" with each player on the team, in front of cameras. But you know what would be more fun? The opposite. That's right, I'm pitching a series where the Habs spend a few banal hours in my everyday life.

EPISODE 1: TAKIN' CARE OF BUSINESS

well, that's an awkward screencap if I've ever seen one

Hal Gill finds out what my job is, thus learning one of the universe's biggest secrets:

- Gill waits for me outside my office building and checks his BlackBerry!

- Profile about my professional accomplishments: This one time, I found a really serious subtitle problem and I wasn't even supposed to be looking for it, but I totally saved the day!

- I show him my workstation and he remarks that the air conditioning is on too high!

- It's free bagel day at the office so we split a bagel while I list all the coffeeshops within a five-block radius!

- Hal thinks my job is cool until I tell him about all the crappy movies I've watched multiple times in multiple languages! We sit at a computer for three hours wearing headphones!

- We get lunch at the salad place in my office building and he asks me if I have a crush on the hot (but sorta crazy) guy in my office!

- Awkward abrupt ending after lunch!

EPISODE 2: THERAPY DAY

This is actually footage from his audition tape. He's wanted to host the show for two years

Jaroslav Spacek lives a day in the life when I'm not at my on-call weekday job:
- We watch SportsCenter!
- Profile of my blogging accomplishments: I co-founded Hab It Her Way! I write for All Habs! Sometimes I talk on the radio! One time I got plagiarized, and another time I got linked by Puck Daddy!
- He helps me write a draft of this week's Plus/Minus!
- We eat some cookies!
- Awkward "will you drive or will I drive" conversation, ending in Spacek driving because I don't have a car!
- We go to the nail salon! Spacek is afraid of getting a manicure and I tell him to tough it out! He chooses the colour of my nail polish!
- We part ways and he thanks me in both English and Czech, even though I don't speak Czech!

Yeah, I bet a ton of people would watch this show.

Plus/Minus is not on a road trip

...but it did move to Monday this week due to an 8 p.m. Sunday game. I could be in a better mood so let's get right to it, because there are tons of Pluses to cheer me up.

PLUS

+ Chris Pronger is hurt! Huzzah!
+ This is almost a plus for both PK Subban and Mike Cammalleri, who on Wednesday and Thursday respectively had two-thirds of a Gordie Howe hat trick. I have two things to say about that. The first is that the first-ever recorded Gordie Howe hat trick (before it had a name) took place on December 26th, 1917, so you can tell people that on Sunday, and you'll sound so smart because you know the anniversary of something that happened in the NHL's first year. The second is that I have yet to see a complete Gordie Howe hat trick. That needs to change.
+ Max Pacioretty made me smile. He got called up at just the right time, but a lot of people were asking a lot of questions, and most of them still haven't forgiven him for (apparently) demanding top-six minutes (if that's what you think he did). I think a lot of the talking has stopped.
+ Dustin Boyd is going through some kind of AHL renaissance. Four goals in what, three games?
+ The commercial where a little boy gets an Ovechkin jersey for Christmas gets me every time. It's so damn cute. And I don't usually get all googly over commercials. Here's a slightly longer version of the same video:

+ LA Kings goalie Jonathan Quick posted an incredible 51-save shutout against the Detroit Red Wings. And yes, Detroit was playing well. He just didn't let any pucks in.

+ Vancouver's Green Men were at it again, in full force against the Maple Leafs on Saturday. First they hurled a giant box's worth of Eggos at the penalty box, and then they showed Mike Komisarek that he was on Santa's naughty list along with the rest of his teammates.

MINUS

In bad taste, apparently

- Everyone's new enemy seems to be late-period goals. Maybe the Habs should hire someone to stand at the end of the bench and whisper "Don't let them score a goal!" to the players hitting the ice for the last two minutes of a period.
- Can someone explain to me why the Montreal Canadiens aren't able to put a puck in an open net? It's an open net! They're the Montreal Canadiens!
- Those of you who are worried about PK Subban's performance seem to be blowing the situation a little out of proportion. We're talking "Kanye West stole Taylor Swift's microphone" kind of horrified. (Yes, I made a year-old pop culture reference that didn't even make any sense. Deal with it.)
- So let me get this straight: the Avalanche beat the Habs yesterday, and RDS didn't even bother showing Matt Duchene do the bangity-bang dance? That's like losing twice.


I can't think of a better way to end this post than to wish my favourite Canadien a happy birthday: Blow out those candles, Andrei Markov. I'd say "get well soon" but I want him to take as much time to recover as he needs to, and then some.

How to promote a Winter Classic

Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge fan of The Price Is Right. (I'm not even kidding, I make fun of the people who don't understand the games, and I freak out when someone wins a car.) I'm just not sure that a dull, pretaped segment on a daytime game show is the best way to get people to watch the Winter Classic if they aren't already hockey fans.

Last year, watching Marc Savard and Scott Hartnell was somewhat painful, so my expectations were pretty low for this year. I was right. Jeremy Roenick injected a bit of life into the showcase presentation due to the fact that he isn't as dull as the average hockey player. (And some people complain about players with too mcuh personality. Go figure.) Alexander Ovechkin looked a little bored reading off the cue cards, and Sidney Crosby looked more uncomfortable than Brian Gionta did that time he had to speak French. Maybe, if we're trying to bring in a new audience for NHL hockey, we shouldn't be exposing the fact that the league's biggest star isn't good at talking on camera. (You know who is, though? Jonathan Toews. I'm just saying.)

They don't seem to have that problem on HBO's 24/7, which I'm enjoying very much. So I'm not going to complain about the way this game is promoted on cable. Network TV, however, is a whole other story.

First of all, if you want to promote The Bridgestone NHL Winter Classic, January 1st on NBC!!! why are you on CBS? Why aren't you taking advantage of the fact that NBC viewers already know what Heinz Field looks like?

Maybe you've heard of it... highest-rated show for the 15th consecutive Sunday
(despite the worst opening theme ever)

I know NBC wouldn't go the whole nine and make Ovechkin guest-star as a Russian henchman on Chuck, and that both teams couldn't team up with The Lonely Island for a video called "I'm On A Boat (Going To Heinz Field)", but a really short spot (or a series of commercials) on Sunday Night Football would do the trick. Look, I even wrote a poorly formatted script and everything!

EXT. HEINZ FIELD - DAY. 
BEN ROETHLISBERGER and a few of his PITTSBURGH STEELERS teammates are on the sidelines during practice, drinking from their water bottles or tossing balls around between drills.

TROY POLAMALU

Who are those guys? Hockey players?

The entire WASHINGTON CAPITALS team, wearing their jerseys, walk on to the field in slow motion.

ALEX OVECHKIN

Hey, guys.

BROOKS LAICH

We're going to be playing here in a few weeks.

Can you show us around?

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

Sure. Hey, aren't you Brooks Laich?

BROOKS LAICH

Yeah. Nice to meet you.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

I heard you helped out some lady fans 

who had car trouble last spring.

BROOKS LAICH

Yeah, it was dark out and these two women 

wearing Caps jerseys had a flat tire. 

I changed it for them.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

...and then what did you do?

BROOKS LAICH

I drove away.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

That's it?

CUT TO BLACK.

Time for a snowball fight: Habs v Avs

I used to know almost nothing about the Colorado Avalanche. (It fit well with my general theme of not knowing much about hockey in general.) "They used to be the Nordiques!" and "Joe Sakic!" will only take a girl so far. I have since learned a few things, which is helpful since Sakic retired, so I'm looking forward to this game. Here are some things that I've learned:

They're good. 
They're on a 5-game winning streak, during which they beat the Blackhawks twice. What? For real? Like, the Chicago Blackhawks?

Matt Duchene is cool.
2009's third overall draft pick is having a pretty good season so far, with 13 goals. That's two more than any Hab so far this season. (Not that I'm dissing anyone. I quite like being on a team that hasn't earned a top 5 draft pick lately.) Plus, he and teammate Paul Statsny have taken the "bangity bang" song from How I Met Your Mother and turned it into a postgame celebration. I want the NHL to allow this game to end in a tie, and have their postgame dance at one end of the ice, and PK and Carey triple low fiving on the other side.


They have Tomas Fleischmann now.
In case you forgot. He's Czech and he used to play for Washington, so we like him.

They also have Ryan O'Byrne now.
Remember, we gave him to them? And now they're good? Yeah. I know. I told you all he should either play or be traded, and "play him" is looking a little less crazy than it used to.
His stats are unbelievable now (this article describes his plus-13 ranking as "shiny" and I'm going to act like that's a Firefly reference). He gets tons of ice time. And, as a result, he likes Colorado so much that he's become a full-time mountain man.

Some people might think he's dissing Montreal, but really, he's just speaking the truth. If you don't think this city is tough to play in, then you need your head checked. Also you're missing the point of this video (which I found courtesy of Heather Engel): his beard. Look at that beard. It just makes him look bigger. He lives in the Rockies year-round now. I bet he spends all of his spare time chopping wood and fighting Sasquatch. Maybe he should be the subject of the next TV show I pitch: Ryan O'Byrne, Mountain Man. Look for special guest appearances by Wolverine and lots of flannel shirts.

Puck drops at 8. No word on whether all the players' sticks were whittled by Ryan O'Byrne in his spare time, or if it's composite as usual.