It's always whiny in Philadelphia

It's no secret that, despite his tremendous talent at hockey-playing, Sidney Crosby is not my favourite person in the NHL.
(Everyone at Hockey Night In Canada just wept upon reading that sentence.)

Why? There are many reasons, actually, but right now it's because he is a child. No, really, he is. I'm barely two months older than Crosby, on the cusp of turning 25, and have probably accomplished a lot less than he has, but I feel like I'm so much more grown-up than he is.
If anything about Sunday's Penguins-Flyers game will stick in my memory more than the two dozen fights or sixty-five goals scored, it'll be Crosby's post-game comment: "I don't like any guy on their team."

That kind of comment can be attributed to many things. Anger? Petulance? Playoff bravado? Honesty? Or desire for more attention than he already has? Maybe it's just good old-fashioned complaining. Wherever that comment came from doesn't really change the fact that it made me angry.

Here's the thing: I should agree with Crosby, because I don't really like any of the Flyers either. Except for the ones who used to be Kings. And Ilya Bryzgalov. And Sean Couturier. And Jakub Voracek. (Blame Czechtacular for those last three.) Actually, the Flyers I like are part of the reason why the team has looked so good in the playoffs: they're not just a bunch of bruisers anymore. They're playing faster, smarter, more dimensional hockey than they were when I first started watching the sport. And yet, the Penguins feel as though they're being bullied worse than ever and feel the need to retaliate tenfold. So, which team comes off looking more goonish? The Penguins. Yes, really. I was more concerned for the Flyers' safety during yesterday's game than I was for the team playing the Flyers. If I had worried about the Penguins, I would still feel awkward about it because they basically brought this upon themselves, and their captain not only took part in it, but tried to continue the drama after the game ended. Yes, the same captain who is forever heralded as a "nice guy." And who was sidelined for a year because he was the victim of on-ice violence.

I suppose I should commend him for not shying away from a fight as is he sometimes tends to do, but that would mean that I was condoning violence. But a team's captain shouldn't just go after a player on a rival team no matter how intense the rivalry is, or how much symbolism he's creating in fighting Claude Giroux, who is (gasp!) scoring goals and selling jerseys.

Oh, and Penguins? You also shouldn't do this:


Or this:

Or this:

I mean, seriously, hair-pulling? Not even the Flyers would stoop that low. (Maybe the Bruins would.) I haven't seen someone pull someone else's hair out of anger since elementary school. This is further proof that the Penguins' captain needs to grow up and remind his team to stop acting like the Real Housewives of Pennsylvania and start playing some real hockey, because they sure as hell know how.

Bring on Game 4. It might be childish (erm, Crosby-esque?) of me to choose sides, but I'm hoping Philly takes it.

Not really a game preview: Habs v Penguins

So as you probably already know, Arron Asham of the Pittsburgh Penguins did this:



And as you may or may not know, I'll be contributing to the Habs 360 podcast about twice a month this season. This week, instead of just having my own segment(!), I stepped in as a guest co-host. In what was supposed to be an interview with a Penguins blogger discussing the team as a whole and not just this event, I may have gone a little too far. I'll let you decide:

Listen to internet radio with Chris G on Blog Talk Radio

The interview is about halfway through the podcast. I'm still terrified of the sound of my own voice, so I haven't listened to it again in its entirety.

It's Playoff Bracket time!

Playoffs start soon, so it's time for us to introduce the third annual Hab It Her Way NHL Playoff Bracket. Yay!

I try to find a theme for the random pictures I use for every matchup. This year, I tried to find common ground between the teams playing each other in the first round. We're not that different, after all.

In the West:

The Canucks and Blackhawks meet early in the playoffs this year. I always love this series, but it'll be particularly tough to root for one team since both Roberto Luongo and Corey Crawford are local-boy goalies.

The Los Angeles Kings and San Jose Sharks are both from California. That's all I got.

Detroit and Phoenix are lucky enough to have wonderful, gentlemanly captains with quite a few seasons' worth of wisdom. That's MISTER Nick Lidstrom and Shane Doan to you!

Anaheim-Nashville might just be the battle of Young Guys That Nobody Wanted As Habs Except Me. Sorry, Kyle Chipchura and Sergei Kostitsyn. (Is there a way to sneak Matt D'Agostini or Greg Stewart into this too?)

In the East:

The Washington Capitals and New York Rangers introduced some spiffy new throwback jerseys this year. That's something I know a little bit about.

Why not choose at least one series and focus on the players I don't like? Congratulations, Philly captain Mike Richards and Buffalo goalie Ryan Miller (if you're not still injured). You know what you did.

What do the Canadiens and Bruins have in common? Well, in case you didn't know, they hate each other.

Two teams. Two bloggers. Two beloved coaches. It's my Dan Bylsma against Czechtacular's Guy Boucher.

Click on the picture above to see the bracket full-size and you should be able to print it out quite easily! I keep track of the scores of each game, higher-seeded team on top, lower-seeded on the bottom. (I cleared that up in the MTL-BOS and LA-SJ series.)

NHL Goalies, or Cartoon Heroes?

Since the game ended yesterday, way too many people have discussed the impending pose-off between Carey Price and Marc-André Fleury. It's one of those hot-button topics that doesn't actually need to be discussed, but infuriates people to the point that they just can't help but talk about it. I've been trying to plan the next step in The Great NHL Pose-Off of 2011.

In all honesty, I want it to be a dance-off. But that's wishful thinking.

So. This all started when Carey Price celebrated his win by crossing his arms in a pose that I originally referred to as "the Kazaam"...

...but references to "Like A Boss" and a b-boy stance were also acceptable. Until I realized, maybe from superhero overload, that it's also a Superman pose:

As such, I've done a little googling and I think I've got a few more superhero-inspired poses for Carey to try out. Maybe some of his jerkier rivals will like them too:

Ever since the Wolverine movie I can't think of Gambit without thinking of Taylor Kitsch. As a result, it took a bit longer to publish this post than it should have.

Bat-Accessories required for this one, but a goalie stick might also be acceptable

Hockey players are kind of like real-life superheroes, so I think this works.
But in case Carey needs a little more help, I'll start compiling some old-school b-boy stances.

How to promote a Winter Classic

Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge fan of The Price Is Right. (I'm not even kidding, I make fun of the people who don't understand the games, and I freak out when someone wins a car.) I'm just not sure that a dull, pretaped segment on a daytime game show is the best way to get people to watch the Winter Classic if they aren't already hockey fans.

Last year, watching Marc Savard and Scott Hartnell was somewhat painful, so my expectations were pretty low for this year. I was right. Jeremy Roenick injected a bit of life into the showcase presentation due to the fact that he isn't as dull as the average hockey player. (And some people complain about players with too mcuh personality. Go figure.) Alexander Ovechkin looked a little bored reading off the cue cards, and Sidney Crosby looked more uncomfortable than Brian Gionta did that time he had to speak French. Maybe, if we're trying to bring in a new audience for NHL hockey, we shouldn't be exposing the fact that the league's biggest star isn't good at talking on camera. (You know who is, though? Jonathan Toews. I'm just saying.)

They don't seem to have that problem on HBO's 24/7, which I'm enjoying very much. So I'm not going to complain about the way this game is promoted on cable. Network TV, however, is a whole other story.

First of all, if you want to promote The Bridgestone NHL Winter Classic, January 1st on NBC!!! why are you on CBS? Why aren't you taking advantage of the fact that NBC viewers already know what Heinz Field looks like?

Maybe you've heard of it... highest-rated show for the 15th consecutive Sunday
(despite the worst opening theme ever)

I know NBC wouldn't go the whole nine and make Ovechkin guest-star as a Russian henchman on Chuck, and that both teams couldn't team up with The Lonely Island for a video called "I'm On A Boat (Going To Heinz Field)", but a really short spot (or a series of commercials) on Sunday Night Football would do the trick. Look, I even wrote a poorly formatted script and everything!

EXT. HEINZ FIELD - DAY. 
BEN ROETHLISBERGER and a few of his PITTSBURGH STEELERS teammates are on the sidelines during practice, drinking from their water bottles or tossing balls around between drills.

TROY POLAMALU

Who are those guys? Hockey players?

The entire WASHINGTON CAPITALS team, wearing their jerseys, walk on to the field in slow motion.

ALEX OVECHKIN

Hey, guys.

BROOKS LAICH

We're going to be playing here in a few weeks.

Can you show us around?

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

Sure. Hey, aren't you Brooks Laich?

BROOKS LAICH

Yeah. Nice to meet you.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

I heard you helped out some lady fans 

who had car trouble last spring.

BROOKS LAICH

Yeah, it was dark out and these two women 

wearing Caps jerseys had a flat tire. 

I changed it for them.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

...and then what did you do?

BROOKS LAICH

I drove away.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER

That's it?

CUT TO BLACK.

HABS WIN!

I watched the whole game. I watched the postgame interviews. I watched the recaps and the fans flooding the streets to celebrate (and let me tell you that I've never seen that many people, ever, on Ste. Catherine and Crescent, not even during Grand Prix weekend... so racecar drivers can now know for sure that they take a backseat to hockey in this town). The Canadiens have won another Game 7, this time against the Pittsburgh Penguins and their captain, the other best player in the NHL. (Or so they say.)

And they won. I'm having trouble believing that this is actually true. Yes, me, one of the most positive Habs fans on the planet.

The Canadiens will play the first game of the Eastern Conference Final (!!!!) on Sunday. Get ready to hear from us a lot from now until then... It might take me a while to actually believe this is happening.

Hollywood: Get this guy to do your Oscar campaigns...

... because he's really after that Douchebag of the Year title.

As if giving a guy a concussion (yes, I know we're not supposed to like Marc Savard, but at least for the sake of this argument, Bruins are people too), taking out our top defenceman for the rest of the season, and just generally being awful weren't enough, Matt Cooke has gone after the Habs' greenest player.

Cooke said that Montreal rookie defenseman P.K. Subban “cut his skate all up” after a first-period hit.

“Thankfully, my foot wasn’t touched,” said Cooke, who  had to leave the ice for a few minutes to have his skate repaired.

A highly-regarded 20-year-old, Stubban sliced a tendon in the foot of Penguins center Jordan Staal in Game 1 on a hit at center ice. 

“It’s the second time (it’s happened),” said Cooke, who scored Pittsburgh’s lone goal early in the first period. “I know it’s not a penalty when skates collide but for that to happen in back-to-back games by the same guy is suspicious.”

(Yes, they totally spelled it as "Stubban" that time. Sound off in the comments section.)

Does Cooke have nothing better to do than cook up conspiracy theories about good-natured rookies? Did he set out to have half our friends change their Facebook status to "Ta gueule, Matt Cooke"? Is he stupid, arrogant, misquoted or racist? Whatever the case may be, Matt Cooke, the jerk store called, and they're running out of you.

Round Two: One to one

Final score, 3-1 for Montreal.
Take THAT, Penguins! Pittsburgh can keep trying to kill our defencemen one by one, but we'll just have to get out revenge by winning games. And just because the Habs are gentlemen, there will probably be no murder of Penguins. That's animal cruelty.

K, but if you run into this guy, do whatever you want

So as it turns out, even the evil NBC and their programming ways can't get the best of our Habs. (I almost want to think that this Sunday game happened to tire the Habs out a little, because NBC is apparently terrified of even the remotest possibility of two Canadian teams making it to the Stanley Cup Finals. Because two Canadian hockey teams playing each other would make for bad television? Dear major American networks: you can't judge that anymore. Love, Rookie. PS: If you need extra help around the office, I'm willing to relocate.) 

Oh, and by the way, there's a reason why Pittsburgh is trying to kill every defenceman Montreal has. First, I thought that by going after my absolute favourite current Canadien, Matt Cooke was just campaigning for Douchebag of the Year. But no. It's because the defence is doing exactly what it needs to do. There are still a lot of shots on goal, yes, but with dudes like Evgeni Malkin and That Tim Hortons Mascot on the opposing team, I'm not surprised. When's the last time you heard someone complain about Hal Gill? Certainly not this week, unless the person complaining is a moron. The defence is there, the team is still in it, and all the guys that Bob Gainey bought over the summer are looking like excellent purchases.

By the way, I'm starting a baseball team and Mike Cammalleri is the first guy I'm calling.

Rookie gets in the game

Okay, usually I try to stay away from trade rumours, mostly because it weirds me out that players get traded around like commodities (it's like GMs are kids with hockey cards, saying "Oh, I really want your Drew Doughty! What do you want for it? I have a Rick Nash...")

Also because this.

But a couple of them have piqued my interest over the last couple of days. (Especially since Dion Phaneuf was apparently up for grabs.)

First, there are reports that Ilya Kovalchuk may not be chained down in Atlanta like we thought he was. I don't know what you'd have to trade for a player like him, but I'd be interested to see where he ends up. (By which I mean, um, here. So that the Habs don't have to play against him.)

Also, apparently the Penguins miss Hal Gill and want him back. Really? I know there are some Habs fans who'd give him away for a bag of chips, but if a team like Pittsburgh really wants something, what are they willing to give up? Play hardball, Bob. Keep at it until you get us Dan Bylsma.

Does anyone think there'll be any more major transactions, or is Gainey pretty much done his shopping for the year?

Canadiens cage Penguins, 4-3

Hello dear reader(s), and welcome to Hab It Her Way! Thanks for coming, grab a snack, put your feet up, make yourself at home. You - and we - probably deserve a real inaugural blog post, but with a great preseason game tonight, and a pretty good vantage point inside the Bell Centre, I thought I might as well give you a rundown of the game (and I'll post some pictures soon as well).

It was definitely a close one, but it felt great to be there when the 3rd period came to a close and everyone celebrated. To be honest, it felt awesome just to be at a game again, see the pregame video on that mind-blowing big screen and watch our players (old and... mostly new) do what they do best.

Overall, Carey Price made some pretty impressive saves, and our new acquisitions (yes, I'm aware that right now about three-quarters of the team is "new") have definitely proved themselves. My biggest qualm, however, is with our power play. It just wasn't really there tonight, even though the players who make up our special teams are exceptional and have been performing quite well lately. It's only the preseason, though, so the team's got time to work that out.

It was a decent line-up tonight, although I would have loved to see some prospects that weren't in the lineup, most notably P.K. Subban, whose talent and personality served him well on Team Canada and are going to be a great addition to this year's Hamilton Bulldogs. I'm also a Ryan White fan after seeing him pull out all the stops one night in Hamilton last season, but I guess I can't be too picky when cuts start happening. My favourite new-this-season player, Mike Cammalleri, got his share of ice time (and a penalty, what?) and I was definitely happy about that. Cammalleri's been the brightest light in this offseason of change for me personally, and it definitely looks like my anticipation wasn't for naught.

I'd also like to give a shoutout to the hilarious guys sitting to the left of me tonight, who have to be credited with gems such as these (their opinions do not necessarily reflect those of Czechtacular and the Rookie):

"Scott Gomez is a sexy bitch!" (Yes, a heterosexual man screamed this as loud as he could.)

"Latendresse, tabarnak!" followed by "Latendresse, I hate you but right now I love you" when he scored

"Go-Mez Go!"

"Go Rick Nash!" (I don't know where that one came from)

"No one go near Crosby, he's going to cry again!"

... I'd keep posting their amusing Crosby taunts, but this is a blog, not a Tolstoy novel, so take my word for it when I say they were hilarious and sometimes creative.

Tonight's best dressed award goes to the gentleman I saw in a Brett Favre T-shirt, with an honourable mention to the girl who repurposed her old Higgins #21 shirt into a Brian Gionta shirt with the help of a scrap of paper, a marker, some scotch tape and two safety pins.

She definitely chose the right day for arts and crafts!

Worst dressed: Some guy who had the nerve to wear a Mats Sundin Maple Leafs jersey, and trailing his young Habs-supporting son behind him. Poor kid!

After a game like this one, I'm pretty optimistic that the season will be a solid one. I'm not going to make any guesses about the season as a whole, but I'm glad that the parts are in place.

Stay tuned, Habs fans!