Plus/Minus needs more gravy

Plus/Minus is back! And I, for one, am thankful that I can bring back one of HIHW's oldest features. It was on IR for far too long, and we've got tons of hockey and TV stuff to talk about. Shall we?

PLUS

+ That goal by Alex Galchenyuk. That. Goal.
+ The outpouring of support for George Parros after his injury was inspiring. Hockey people can be good people, sometimes.
+ Lars Eller and P.K. Subban are picking up points so easily, they almost make me think I can play hockey. (Me, with my clumsy limbs and my complete lack of athleticism.)
+ Joe Thornton had the quote of the year and it's barely even the year yet.
+ Sleepy Hollow might be my favourite new show of the season. It's got a talented, diverse cast, and it's  so scary but I can't help but watch it.
+ Thank you, Fox, for picking up John Mulaney's series after NBC decided not to go ahead with it!

MINUS

- Guillaume Latendresse isn't even playing in North America, and the Journal de Montréal is still writing cover features about him? Let it go, already. As interested as I am in the life of a North American player in Europe, I've had my fill of stories about Latendresse.
- Daniel Briere, you have one point. ONE. POINT. Are you just biding your time? Because I think most of us would prefer it if you just scored goals and such.
- ABC could have had a major hit in Super Fun Night. But a show that doesn't live up to its potential in addition to being mishandled by its network is just an unfortunate recipe for disaster.
- Once Upon A Time In Wonderland should be my favourite new show of the season. Unfortunately, the pilot was disappointing. The CGI wasn't convincing, there was too much of it, and most of the leads  just aren't engaging enough. I still like the concept, though, so with any luck it'll grow on me, just like Once Upon A Time did.
- This is way late, but a Minus to whoever it was that cancelled Go On. I can't even bring myself to watch Sean Saves The World, and I firmly believe that Go On would've been a great companion to The Michael J. Fox Show. And it has (almost) nothing to do with the fact that both series star good, hockey-loving Canadians.

With any luck, I'll be able to make Plus/Minus a regular feature again this season. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Have an extra scoop of mashed potatoes for me.

Plus/Minus: Expect the unexpected (in the form of a high-five)

Andrei Markov was on the ice. Lars Eller got into fighting words with Erik Karlsson? Ryan White celebrated a birthday. Brian Gionta had some St. Patrick's Day fun. Proof that it can be a good week even if your hockey team loses.

PLUS

+ Congratulations on 1000 NHL games to always-our-captain Saku Koivu.
+ Josh Gorges has blocked over 200 shots this season. Holy crap. If Pacioretty is Wolverine, which superhero is Gorges? (Someone with X-Men knowledge, help me out here?)

+ Erik Cole high-fiving a ref is the kind of stuff that Plus/Minus was made for. But everyone was way too excited about it happening to notice how hilariously nonchalant he was about the whole thing. It's all in the execution.
+ Congratulations on your first NHL goal, Paloosh!
+ So, Randy Cunneyworth is not René Bourque's biggest fan. Giving him a vote of confidence by putting him in a shootout? I'm not used to this. Are coaches people too?
+2 Congratulations to the Montreal Impact on scoring their first goal as a Major League Soccer team, for scoring record attendance for a soccer game in Canada, and to the female commentator on RDS who gets to cover one of the biggest Montreal sports moments in recent years.
+ Will Arnett's character on Up All Night said "I made a huge mistake." It made me so happy.

MINUS

- Markov took a puck to the face. Please, no more. No more injuries. We can't handle it!
- I appreciate that my team is trying to give me as much free hockey as possible before the season ends, but all this overtime is stressing me out.

EDIT: A Plus for the news that Jean Béliveau's health is improving after his stroke.
A Minus to those new Black Ice jerseys - they look like what a Pitbull remix sounds like.

There's less than a month left in the season. These coming weeks are going to feel like Mardi Gras: I'm going to watch as much Habs hockey as I can before there isn't any more.

Exclusive interview with St. John's IceCaps goalie Eddie Pasquale

Last night I had the pleasure of attending an AHL game at the Bell Centre: a tilt between the Hamilton Bulldogs and St. John's IceCaps that ended in a shootout. So much fun. I was fortunate enough to sit right behind the glass, between the IceCaps' penalty box and the corridor that led to their locker rooms. That corridor was where Eddie Pasquale spent the game, in hopes that the Bulldogs would score a ton of goals so that he could relieve David Aebischer. (I hoped that the Bulldogs would score a ton of goals, too, but a thrilling shootout win is just as good.)

Never one to pass up an opportunity, I tried to get the attention of some of the players, most notably Pasquale since he was just hanging around and chewing gum for the duration of the game. It seems like he likes it that way, as this official interview transcript* proves:

ME: So, you were recently named the AHL's Player of the Week. Congratulations!
PASQUALE: ...
ME: How do you like playing in St. John's? How do the fans feel about having hockey back on the Rock?
PASQUALE: ...
ME: You played for the Chicago Wolves last season. What was that like?
PASQUALE: ...
ME: You've got some former Habs on your team. How do they feel about being back in Montreal?
PASQUALE: ...
ME: Did they put any money on the board?
PASQUALE: [death stare]
ME: What's your favourite curse word?

PASQUALE: [chews gum intently]

ME: Seriously? Those questions always work when James Lipton asks them. Damn it, Pasquale, you're at the damn BELL CENTRE! It's the greatest arena on Earth! Show some emotion! SAY SOMETHING!!
PASQUALE: ...

You couldn't get a word out of this guy yesterday if you tried. He's like the AHL's very own Seinfeld "Desperado" guy.

*not an official interview transcript

Plus/Minus: no self-portraits here

Judging by what's been popular on the Internet this week... My male readers (if I have any) are probably upset that I'm fully clothed as I write this, and that I wear my jerseys as the hockey gods intended, not hacked beyond recognition into a tiny censor bar of a dress. Um, sorry? Can I make a couple puns to make up for it?

PLUS

+ Erik Cole flew Louis Leblanc's parents to Anaheim so that they could attend their son's first NHL game. If that isn't a Plus, I don't know what is.
+ Josh Gorges didn't shave his mustache as soon as the clock struck midnight and the month of December started. He must have known that Movember is my favourite time of year.
+ Carey Price saved his team's ass against the LA Kings AND hammed it up in a hysterical All Star Game campaign video.
+ Now-former Carolina Hurricanes coach Paul Maurice left a note for Kirk Muller, wishing him the best of luck and complimenting the team. It takes a lot of class to do something like that.
+ Saku Koivu still has nothing but great things to say about his days as a Hab. I feel the same way.
+ Ryan Jones hat trick, or something. I guess it's because of the hair.

MINUS

It can't be because of the picture, why, no!

- Are we done talking about Paulina Gretzky? Apparently, if your dad is the greatest hockey player of all time, you can be a newsmaker just by tweeting a few cleave shots. (Seriously, a newsmaker.) It's almost like men are surprised that she's hot, because they didn't know that professional athletes always marry pretty girls, and thus their children have a good chance of being attractive. Also, is this really what happens every time some yellow-haired girl posts pictures of herself online because she's desperate for attention? ...On second thought, don't answer that.

- Los Angeles Kings: I love you, but get your asses off of my goalie.
- A three-game suspension for Max Pacioretty's hit on Kris Letang is a little harsh. I doubt every guy who hits another player in the same way is going to be suspended for three games.
- Everyone who gets mad at Andrei Markov for not being ready to come back yet, or who calls him a waste of money. Where's your loyalty?

We are now faced with our first mustache-less week. I'm not sure exactly how this is going to go. But so far, it looks like our Carey is just as awesome without his 'stache as he was with it.

Habs v Bruins: Retraction

(Note: oh my word the Canadiens actually won a game. The amount of meals I've eaten since their last win is... actually, not that extraordinary, since I lost my appetite and was reduced to the non-mealtime stress eating of chocolate and leftover mashed potatoes. Not at the same time, of course. That being said, I am again proud of my team for doing what they do best.)

This summer, I wrote a blog post chronicling my reactions to free agent signings using pictures from Arrested Development.

I chose the wrong picture to express Benoit Pouliot signing in Boston. I should have gone with this:

Best tweets of the first round

(Plus/Minus for the first round is forthcoming.)
Since it's my role on the radio to talk about the Internet, I tried to keep track of as many crazy reactions to the playoffs as I could. So here are a few of my favourites, because I want to celebrate just how much fun hockey fans had during the first round:

bailsebeth Bailey 

The next person to tell me the odds are against the #Habs, I will promptly break out into Phil Collins' 1984 smash hit, 'Against All Odds'.

packerswinSBXLV Brad 

@ 

@BrentSopel Did Mara give everyone pointers on how to grow facial hair? #thebeard

A bit of Phoenix love, because we might as well: 

BizNasty2point0 Paul Bissonnette 

Actually 1 last tweet. Thanks to all the yotes fans out there cheering us on. Going to be a tough series. love the support tweets.#DoWork

PensNation_Meg Meghan Herlihy 

The children were nestled all snug in their beds, with visions of Stanley Cups dancing in their heads.

SamJags Sammy Mayers 

If there is anything better than overtime playoff hockey, please tell me.

(Yeah. It's when your team wins the overtime.) 

habsromance stephanie 

remember when pricey won his first series as a rookie? :')

theactivestick Laura 

Lump in throat.Heart pounding. Butterflies in stomach. Must be gameday. GO HABS GO

Cas514 Cas 

Getting to work early so I can leave at a regular time because it's game day. #thedrivefor25isalive

EP31 Eternal Pessimist 

@ 

I haven't understood the word 'calm' since April 2008......

(Neither have I!)

HockeyLoveHurts Darby 

I think 'Haters Gonna Hate' is my Playoff phrase for 2011.

imisssaku Denis 

Kaberle looks lost in the playoffs, wonder why?

boring_as_heck fake ass canada pig 

reason why hockey is cool # 42655 - jaroslav spacek's face

maxtheguru Max Harris 

Carey Price just went inside the mind of a Greg Jennings: ''I put the team on my back!'' #Habs

kristi_lala kristi lawrence. 

"Boston Police start investigation into robbery of first game of 2011 Stanley Cup playoffs. The game was believed to have been stolen by Carey Price. Accessory to the crime was believed to be one Brian Gionta. Stay tuned for updates."

lawyergirl77 lawyergirl77 

Guys, Gomez is new Kovalev. We'll love him in playoffs and wonder where the heck THAT guy was during regular season. #Habs#Illtakeitanyway

DaveZeile09 David Zeile 

I just jaywalked through downtown Philly traffic in order to high five a guy in a Caps jersey on the other side of the street. Solidarity.

IKyleCliffordFC K Clifford Fan Club 

Charlie Sheen has tiger blood... Kyle Clifford has a tiger in his backyard that he swings around by the tail when he's bored

touteparpillee Lyse 

Les stats ne sont que des références historiques. Ce qu'a pu accomplir une équipe dans le passé n'a aucune incidence sur le futur.

AndrewBHDL Andrew Bernier 

Duncs is going Inigo Montoya on Torres tonight. Guaranteed. "Hello! My name is Duncan Keith! You injured my partner! Prepare to die!"

wraparoundcurl Wrap Around Curl 

I love Vancouver/Chicago games. It's like watching a couple loudly break up in public.

MARKOV_HABFAN79 Stephanie Rossi 

T-minus 42 (long) minutes for Habs n Bos Game 6 nail bitting,colored words,drinking,shot nerves,heartattacks n launching stuff at TV. #habs

canadagraphs Canadagraphs 

Tums, check. Pepcid AC, check. Gravol, check. Suicide prevention hotline #, check. Ok, ready for the #Canucks game.

Dingwell Robin Dingwell 

It's official, when Ryan White has skates on, "giving a fuck" is not in his dictionary ... #habs #nhl #bruins

DownGoesBrown Down Goes Brown 

I would marry a man made out of the first round of the 2011 NHL playoffs.

I don't mean to name favourites but I really, really liked these:

ekoreen Eric Koreen 

OH MY GOD SPORTS CALM DOWN.

SuicidePass Ace 

actually thought to myself: "if Ignatieff doesn't win next Tuesday, Harper's going to have all the momentum going into Game 7."#playoffs

thekidcanada Kid Canada 

HOW DARE PEOPLE ON TWITTER SUPPORT A DIFFERENT PROFESSIONAL SPORTS TEAM FROM THE PROFESSIONAL SPORTS TEAM THAT I SUPPORT