Plus/Minus will miss mustaches

The first boring game against the Bruins in a long time. Something or other in Carolina (I was busy buying peanut butter cups and accidentally making a terrible Caesar salad, which I didn't know was possible.) A DAYTIME game in Philly, what even is that about. And I'm not even sure what happened against Pittsburgh.
At least there was a lot of hockey this week, right?

PLUS

+ More than ever, Phoenix Coyotes property Andy Miele is a HIHW sweetheart. (It was awfully dusty at the exact moment I read that tweet, I swear.)
+ TSN Radio 990's Simon Tsalikis wrote a hysterically mean tweet lambasting the excitement surrounding Crosby's return. Most people didn't laugh at it, but Simon isn't the guy who wants to make people angry. He just wants to make people laugh, and I laughed, so mission accomplished.
+ A Plus to Travis Moen for his 50th career goal.
+ Josh Gorges leads the league in blocked shots.
+ Why am I so excited about the NBA lockout being over?
+ Saku Koivu scored a goal on his birthday.
+ Rob Riggle's guest stint on this week's Happy Endings was every kind of weird and funny. It looks like both he and Casey Wilson actually were better off being fired from SNL: they've found other ways to showcase their comedic strengths.


MINUS

You're right, Carey.

- The officiating in last night's game against Pittsburgh was just terrible. Bad calls all around, for both teams; so bad that even I noticed, which I rarely do.
- A few Penguins fans overexaggerated Max Pacioretty's hit on Kris Letang. I'm not going to defend the hit, but no person in their right mind could actually think that Pacioretty's hit was more malicious or did more damage than the one that put him in the hospital last season. Max Pacioretty is not a terrible person. Quit your whining.
- I feel like every sentence that starts with the name "Scott Gomez" ends with either "is injured" or "sucks." Can that change, please?

The Habs are California-bound. Is it too late to sneak onto that charter? I've been to the last two Habs-Kings games and I'd like to make it a three-peat, plus I need a vacation to take my mind off the end of Movember.

Not really a game preview: Habs v Penguins

So as you probably already know, Arron Asham of the Pittsburgh Penguins did this:



And as you may or may not know, I'll be contributing to the Habs 360 podcast about twice a month this season. This week, instead of just having my own segment(!), I stepped in as a guest co-host. In what was supposed to be an interview with a Penguins blogger discussing the team as a whole and not just this event, I may have gone a little too far. I'll let you decide:

Listen to internet radio with Chris G on Blog Talk Radio

The interview is about halfway through the podcast. I'm still terrified of the sound of my own voice, so I haven't listened to it again in its entirety.

Plus/Minus gets chatty again

All-Stars, superheroes, surgeries, spin-o-ramas, and goalies doing gangsta poses. Did I write a hockey soap opera, or is this real life?

PLUS

+ Benoit Pouliot was good at hockey this week.
+ Carey Price is an All-Star! It made me so happy that at first I didn't even realize that Norris Trophy nominee Drew Doughty is not an All-Star. Quite a few All-Star guys that I'll be very happy to see on the ice together in two weeks. (I keep trying to choose my ideal winger for the Sedin twins, and can't decide!)
+ Alex Auld is pretty great against the Rangers. It's not just luck.
+ Dwayne Roloson's new mask (you know, for his Tampa Bay Lightning job that he unfortunately stole from Cédrick) is one of the nicest goalie masks in the NHL.
+ I think my New York Jets may just have won a playoff game. I might be imagining it, though.
+ Despite the fact that I'm not his biggest fan, I'm giving Aaron Sorkin a Plus for giving me a new catchphrase at the Golden Globes: "Smart girls have more fun."

MINUS

You guys should follow @kuyaz on Twitter just because he makes things like this sometimes.

- No, Marc-Andre Fleury, I didn't think your little pose was playful and fun. I might have thought that if you weren't such a massive douchetard, but them's the breaks.
- Gotta admit, I'm kind of squeamish, so I'm not always in the mood to see injuries and scars and stuff. I tried to avoid seeing pictures of the surgery scar on Andrei Markov's knee, but it was right there on the Habs Inside/Out homepage. Not cool, guys. It hurts me enough to remember that my favourite Hab is injured.
- I'm pretty sure I've made some variation on this rant at least once already this season: who let Mike Cammalleri get sick? You're telling me that one of the NHL's most profitable teams doesn't have money for Purell or to pay people to walk around holding up sneezeguards in front of players?
- Is there anyone left in this universe who still likes PK Subban? Poor rookie has haters all over the place. You'd think Matt Cooke started sending out blank cheques. (PS: This week I found out what a slew foot is... and seriously, THAT'S one of the dirtiest moves in hockey? Whose grandparents decided this? Was PK's slew foot on Dubinsky just a weak example, or was I not watching closely enough? Because I've seen way worse, both from NHL players and from girls at weddings trying to catch the bouquet.)
- Dear every player in the NHL: Maybe you didn't get my last memo, but there's a limit to corporate sponsorships and endorsement deals, ok? I know some of you don't listen to me, but it's one thing to endorse a company whose products you believe in and they send you free stuff, but it's another to have logos and company names splashed across your clothes or to show up in every other commercial I see. And yes, I'll keep telling you this until I get what I want. Okay? Okay. Thanks. Sincerely, Rookie.
- Henrik Lundqvist: You know what you did.

NEITHER A PLUS NOR A MINUS
Spin-o-ramas during shootouts. A skater should be allowed to do whatever he wants as he skates up to the net, because, after all, shootouts are there for our entertainment. (If they weren't, there would still be more than five minutes of overtime.) There's a limit, though, and as much as I love Mason Raymond he showed me what that limit is this week. I'm sorry, MayRay, but you shouldn't commit goalie interference with your butt.

AND STAY TUNED FOR
This is a shameless plug, because I never know what I'll say on the radio but I sometimes know what I'll be writing about, so I might as well promote what I can control. A Plus to this week's SNL Digital Short, which I'll write about soon for BetterWithPopcorn.com, and a Minus to our NHL Guardian, the Canadien, which I'll snark on soon for AllHabs.net.

NHL Goalies, or Cartoon Heroes?

Since the game ended yesterday, way too many people have discussed the impending pose-off between Carey Price and Marc-André Fleury. It's one of those hot-button topics that doesn't actually need to be discussed, but infuriates people to the point that they just can't help but talk about it. I've been trying to plan the next step in The Great NHL Pose-Off of 2011.

In all honesty, I want it to be a dance-off. But that's wishful thinking.

So. This all started when Carey Price celebrated his win by crossing his arms in a pose that I originally referred to as "the Kazaam"...

...but references to "Like A Boss" and a b-boy stance were also acceptable. Until I realized, maybe from superhero overload, that it's also a Superman pose:

As such, I've done a little googling and I think I've got a few more superhero-inspired poses for Carey to try out. Maybe some of his jerkier rivals will like them too:

Ever since the Wolverine movie I can't think of Gambit without thinking of Taylor Kitsch. As a result, it took a bit longer to publish this post than it should have.

Bat-Accessories required for this one, but a goalie stick might also be acceptable

Hockey players are kind of like real-life superheroes, so I think this works.
But in case Carey needs a little more help, I'll start compiling some old-school b-boy stances.

Don't wanna think about it

I'm really happy that the Habs won, and not just because they've been a little slumpy lately, and I missed a few games, and there was no new 30 Rock tonight so I couldn't change the channel. There's another reason, and it was pretty big news today, so I don't need to spell it out for you.

In a season where Andrei Markov was only healthy for about three minutes, something happened to Josh Gorges. He didn't say anything about it. He didn't complain. He didn't look like he needed to miss the next game. He just took a therapy day. Then another, and another, and then finally he had to swallow his pride and admit that he was hurt, and I tried to avoid going into fits of rage and yelling about how much I hate his Black Knight act. It just keeps going downhill.

Today was a good day for a Canadiens win for a few reasons. I went to Florida for a few days and home teams were 3-for-3 at sporting events I attended (3 games, 3 sports, 3 days... I'm as shocked as you are). If I couldn't come home to the win that matters most to me, I would have hopped a plane back to the Sunshine State.

Okay, that's not true, but it might have been true if I didn't hate flying.

I was heartbroken, confused, and a million other things after the World Juniors gold medal game. Not even the thought of a gold medal win five years ago could cheer me up.

Then there was news about Josh. And it wasn't good news. I didn't know how to react, so I just didn't do anything. I didn't talk about it, I didn't think about it, I didn't throw anything. I just listened to some sad songs and resisted the urge to shut down. If the Habs didn't win, someone would probably have found me tomorrow evening, sobbing, mascara running down my cheeks (even though I haven't worn makeup in days), begging my cat to go get a tub of ice cream (even though we're both lactose intolerant). And that was before the ticker on TSN misspelled his name, and literally added insult to injury.

But the puck dropped, and I was able to see (most of) my Canadiens again. It wasn't an easy win, and there have been more enjoyable games this season, but all that matters in the end are those two points they earned. This is what the second half of the season might look like: it won't be easy, and it won't be pretty, but maybe things will end the way we want them to end. It wouldn't be hockey without a few surprises and a bit of heartbreak. We'll just have to wait and see.

HABS WIN!

I watched the whole game. I watched the postgame interviews. I watched the recaps and the fans flooding the streets to celebrate (and let me tell you that I've never seen that many people, ever, on Ste. Catherine and Crescent, not even during Grand Prix weekend... so racecar drivers can now know for sure that they take a backseat to hockey in this town). The Canadiens have won another Game 7, this time against the Pittsburgh Penguins and their captain, the other best player in the NHL. (Or so they say.)

And they won. I'm having trouble believing that this is actually true. Yes, me, one of the most positive Habs fans on the planet.

The Canadiens will play the first game of the Eastern Conference Final (!!!!) on Sunday. Get ready to hear from us a lot from now until then... It might take me a while to actually believe this is happening.

Game 7 is upon us

... I'm nervous. I may have to pop some Rolaids before this game starts.

Mike Cammalleri: the reason why all of Pittsburgh is quiet

What's there to say? The Canadiens are the little team that could, somehow surpassing all expectations and living up to their century of legends at the same time. They made Washington nervous. They made Pittsburgh nervous. They may even have caused a couple of locker-room tears. (One can only hope... and laugh.)

Whatever happens, once this game is over thousands of crazy fans will pour out of both the Mellon Arena and the Bell Centre (completely sold out, by the way, there isn't a ticket to be had anywhere for tonight's screening) and some kind of insanity will probably go down. Hopefully not too much property damage will occur (and only to people that deserve it, like the retailers who badmouth the Canadiens while selling team merchandise).

This could be the game of the season. It will likely be the game that defines next season. And maybe, one can only hope, that it will be the game that ultimately proves that the Penguins can never, ever be sure of a win against the Habs.

I'm going to be sitting on pins and needles until this game is over.

Summary of Game 6

On behalf of this professional photographer whose lens is probably wicked awesome, I apologize for the half-lack of Cammyface

I ate more of those lucky cupcakes. They worked.

Despite the refs' best efforts, Canadiens win.

I'm using the exact same picture as Habs Inside/Out because it's just too good to pass up

The series is now tied 2-2.

Round Two: One to one

Final score, 3-1 for Montreal.
Take THAT, Penguins! Pittsburgh can keep trying to kill our defencemen one by one, but we'll just have to get out revenge by winning games. And just because the Habs are gentlemen, there will probably be no murder of Penguins. That's animal cruelty.

K, but if you run into this guy, do whatever you want

So as it turns out, even the evil NBC and their programming ways can't get the best of our Habs. (I almost want to think that this Sunday game happened to tire the Habs out a little, because NBC is apparently terrified of even the remotest possibility of two Canadian teams making it to the Stanley Cup Finals. Because two Canadian hockey teams playing each other would make for bad television? Dear major American networks: you can't judge that anymore. Love, Rookie. PS: If you need extra help around the office, I'm willing to relocate.) 

Oh, and by the way, there's a reason why Pittsburgh is trying to kill every defenceman Montreal has. First, I thought that by going after my absolute favourite current Canadien, Matt Cooke was just campaigning for Douchebag of the Year. But no. It's because the defence is doing exactly what it needs to do. There are still a lot of shots on goal, yes, but with dudes like Evgeni Malkin and That Tim Hortons Mascot on the opposing team, I'm not surprised. When's the last time you heard someone complain about Hal Gill? Certainly not this week, unless the person complaining is a moron. The defence is there, the team is still in it, and all the guys that Bob Gainey bought over the summer are looking like excellent purchases.

By the way, I'm starting a baseball team and Mike Cammalleri is the first guy I'm calling.

Yes. Really.

Habs beat the Capitals. Bring on the Penguins.

I can't believe it either. I'm a little too giddy to blog, but after the entire team played such a fantastic game and WON the series, I think the accomplishment speaks for itself. At least until we're able to collect ourselves.

I'm going to quote "I'm On A Boat" here, because I just can't help it: Shut the fuck up. This shit is REAL:

2010 EASTERN CONFERENCE SEMIFINALS
SERIES I		#4 vs. #8	Network
Friday, April 30		at Pittsburgh, 7:00 p.m.	CBC, RDS, VERSUS
Sunday, May 2		at Pittsburgh, 2:00 p.m.	NBC, CBC, RDS
Tuesday, May 4		at Montreal, 7:00 p.m.	CBC, RDS, VERSUS
Thursday, May 6		at Montreal, 7:00 p.m.	CBC, RDS, VERSUS
*Saturday, May 8		at Pittsburgh, 7:00 p.m.	CBC, RDS, VERSUS
*Monday, May 10		at Montreal, 7:00 p.m.	CBC, RDS, VERSUS
*Wednesday, May 12		at Pittsburgh, TBD	CBC, RDS, VERSUS

I shake my fist at you, Sergei Gonchar

These dudes look like nice guys. Too bad they weren't nice during tonight's game.

Some notes on tonight's 3-2 loss to the Penguins:

• Overall, I really wanted the Habs to win this game, just to prove that the Penguins aren't necessarily the better team. (Maybe they are, but one thing still stands: our PK has been improving lately, and Pittsburgh's power play has about as much power as my cellphone right now.)
• If someone had told me this morning that Evgeni Malkin and Tomas Plekanec would be the main players in the game's biggest fight, I wouldn't have believed them. Malkin and Pleks? Seriously?
• It happened again that the Canadiens lost, but Carey Price played a good game. And the team didn't play that badly overall, which makes this loss sting even more.
• Sergei Gonchar caused me pain today with the scoring of goals and whatnot. Almost as much pain as he must have experienced that time in Russia that Alex Ovechkin allegedly punched him in the face.
• Ryan O'Byrne, why must you draw multiple penalties?
• Renaud Lavoie's interview with Kris Letang after the first period had me reaching for my remote to make sure the TV didn't mute itself somehow. Low-talker much?
• At least Crosby didn't make fools out of us again.

Today warrants some extra Bulldogs notes: Ryan White has been sent down. The Habs bosses' mistake in notifying the NHL of his callup will result in a fine. Yannick Weber was called up, but Spacek was cleared to play so we'll see Weber when we see him, I guess. (A raffle started yesterday awarding baskets of Bulldogs players' "Favourite Things," including a basket of Swiss chocolates selected by Weber. I want that basket, badly.) Benoit Pouliot was sent to Hamilton for conditioning purposes, and since we're clearly not getting rid of him before he gets any ice time, I can only assume that he's recovering from his injury and will eventually be ready for Bell Centre ice.

Remember this guy?

A familiar face, and one we'd love to have back as soon as possible. Apparently, that might happen sooner than we even think!

Andrei Markov skated today, and while it wasn't for long, it was just the kind of encouraging sign the Habs needed after a loss against Pittsburgh that, while not entirely without effort, was still pretty sad to watch. He's aiming for a comeback in late December/early January, but whether or not he'll be able to participate in the Olympics in Vancouver is yet to be determined, or in his words, "my secret."

In other news, Benoit Pouliot was one of the few at practice this morning, and David Desharnais was sent back to Hamilton this afternoon. (Here's hoping his next chance will come sooner than later.)

Witty titles elude me today: Game Preview 11-25-09

Well, well, well. The Habs have an almost-identical record to the Pens in their last ten. Hard to have even conceived of, should you have a clear memory of the shellshocker that was the last game that these two met up (and believe me, I do). Ideally, the Habs will show that they have enough momentum behind last night's team win against the Blue Jackets to spur them heading into Mellon Arena, especially after a most encouraging sign, yes, that's right, Maxim Lapierre can survive without Guillaume Latendresse!

RDS' collective sigh of relief may not come yet, but here's hoping he adds to that tonight. (photo courtesy HabsInsideOut)

Injuries seem to be the new trend these days (newest: the limping Andrei Kostitsyn). Every team's got 'em, and despite how many eyes have been rolled at the cliches of saying so, it really is an awesome opportunity for some. Take David Desharnais for example. He's come a long way from his days of captaining the Chicoutimi Sagueneens and being that "too-short" kid just dying to get a shot. With every chance he got, he made something of it--most valuable player in the ECHL, a share of the top point-getting Hamilton rookies, his NHL regular-season debut--tonight of all nights against the defending champs.

These ones can fly

• A certain someone who I prefer not to name better not duplicate his feat of a hat-trick tonight.


• With seven points in five games and always dangerous, Evgeni Malkin (this is where my blogging counterpart runs and hides, for she saw the looks I gave my R.J. Umberger-supporting friend last night at the Bell Centre).


• Despite being 7-5-0-1 against Montreal, Marc-Andre Fleury has won his last two and faced a combined 53 shots in those games.


• Martin Skoula is ... from Litomerice? Wow, didn't know that. He's stepped up in the Pens' injury woes, notching two goals in a recent game against Atlanta.


• Maxime Talbot on the first line is a recipe for frustration that the Habs need to watch out for, lest there be penalty trouble.