Plus/Minus: Without y'all, I can't buy my Phantom

So maybe this team is scrappier than I thought they were. It's kind of inspiring: people count them out, and we all keep wondering what's wrong and if things will get better or worse, and then the Habs win. I need to learn to stop counting them out.

PLUS

+ The above tweet from Paul Bissonnette, who's a good guy once you get past all the girls in yoga pants and whatnot. (But if you'd rather just go for laughs, read Ron Artest's tweets about how much he misses playing basketball.)
+ Teemu Selanne dressed up as Batman for Halloween! How awesome is that? (I heard rumblings that one of our Habs also dressed up as Batman, but unlike the Coyotes, the Habs' Halloween pictures remain a secret...)
+ For those days when work never ends, and you think you should go to bed early instead of watching the end of the game, but you change your mind and Josh Gorges scores the overtime game-winning goal.
+ Travis Moen, you are scoring goals this season. And the team appeciates that.
+ Max Pacioretty needs to go to the All-Star Game. (See Minus for more on the ASG.)
+ Ryan Miller called Milan Lucic a piece of... well, you know. And while I'm not sure that that's sportsmanlike or whatever, it's hella entertaining and I look forward to quoting that sound bite and seeing it on SportsCentre Top 10s for some time.

MINUS

I thought I could trust him

- Does Carey know that PK was triple-low-fiving another goalie?
- I'm sorry, but I still don't know what a Scrivens is. Someone please explain, and make fun of me if you must.
- Hey, Flyers and Bolts: you know that playing hockey involves MOVING AROUND, right?
- I thought players had to play a minimum number of games to be eligible for the All-Star ballot. But Sidney Crosby is on it. So, can we just write anyone in? A locked-out basketball player? An actor who played a hockey player in a movie? Sidney Crosby's dad? Batman? LMFAO? Or how about my cat? They've all played just as many games this season as Crosby has. I encourage you to vote for my cat.

- There is literally nothing I can say about this Penn State mess that hasn't been said already, and especially nothing that can make this situation better. I don't know why anyone didn't realize that covering up child molestation is not only unbelievably wrong, but even worse for the school's future than taking immediate action. I don't know what could have motivated so many people to want to cover this up. I don't know why Joe Paterno didn't realize that this scandal could end his career, and didn't try to show some sort of remorse or accountability by retiring before getting fired. But I do know one thing: it's made us as fans think about what we may not know is happening behind the scenes, and that maybe our loyalty to a sport isn't the most important thing there is in life.

Little distractions

So, it's September 1st, Carey Price hasn't signed yet, and the rumours are swirling about why that is. I don't even want to comment on the idea that he might be on strike, because someone created a firestorm out of one tweet by a journalist who isn't known for breaking rumours like this, and as usual Price is considered guilty until proven innocent. Any further opinion on the matter would just be more frustration and run-on sentences.

In other news, it still feels like the offseason in Montreal because it's so hot outside. Almost unbearably hot. Like, buy a frozen treat and start sweating as soon as it's finished hot. This heat wave alone should convince people that the STM needs to find an affordable way to air-condition buses and metros. At least it's helping to distract me from this Carey Price drama.

I was reminded of a video I watched earlier this summer. So, instead of thinking about a BC-born goalie and the Montreal heat, let yourself be distracted by a Montreal-born goalie in the BC heat. It's a short little lol.




And since that video is only fifteen seconds long, if you're still bored here's some Cat Empire you can use as background while you make yourself some ridiculously oversized rum-based drink to enjoy outdoors. (Song starts about 35 seconds into the video)

What to do?

I'm not sure if anyone's noticed but it's August 24th and the Montreal Canadiens are still without a top goalie. Yes, those Montreal Canadiens. The ones who've been backed up by some of the greatest goalies in NHL history. The ones whose biggest problem last season was dividing ice time between TWO good goalies. Right now the Canadiens have Alex Auld, who is not one of the aforementioned good goalies. (But yes, I'm happy to have him on board, because Dan Ellis sucks.)

This whole no-Carey story has been going on too long, like a Ridley Scott movie no one wants to watch. It's time someone presses the stop button, because I'm tired of biding my time.

So far, I've found some pretty good ways to pass the time. I've been getting a lot of hours at work. I've visited my baby cousin twice in the ten days since he was born. I went to the Chronicles of Narnia exhibit, threw out a few choice lines from "Lazy Sunday," and ate a cupcake. I've shopped so much that not even I can believe it. I've read more IMDB pages than anyone else on Earth. I've added at least three new TV series to my viewing rotation. I've looked at pictures of kittens named after Habs a dozen times. I've even started following Rob Schremp on Twitter, and I'm quite certain that I don't even know who he is.

I've come up with so many ways to pass the time and this story isn't over yet. I, along some other Habs fans, am looking for a new distraction. What to do?

Thank the TV gods that the Emmys are soon and the final season of Lost is now out on DVD. (I'll probably have time to rewatch the entire series plus extras before we have a goalie.)
Go on a tour of the Bell Centre. You can see the locker rooms if you visit during the offseason!
Learn to play an instrument and then use it to write songs about hockey.
Read. I still have a few books I received for my birthday that I haven't read.
Plan out Thanksgiving dinner and Halloween costumes.
Gamble.

And that's all I've got so far. I just don't know what to do with myself. But I'll try to keep you all posted.

So that last post is outdated now.

Oops. I came up with all this Ilya material for nothing.

Looks like there'll have to be more negotiating between Kovalchuk and the Devils in order to come to an agreement before the season starts, which by the way can't happen soon enough. What's there to do on rainy days? My main pastime, coming up with jokes about current events in hockey, isn't passing very much time due to lack of material. Maybe I should do some research, find out more about the Habs of yore,  and make some jokes.