Gauthier speaks!

Pierre Gauthier awoke from his slumber today and held a press conference. He even missed a World Cup semifinal game for said press conference, so we thought it would be something big. From what I can gather, this is what he had to say:

"We want to keep Carey Price and Maxim Lapierre. As you know, we haven't officially kept them yet, but there's been talks. Oh, and Glen Metropolit, Paul Mara, Dominic Moore, and Marc-André Bergeron don't have contracts yet because I don't want them anymore. If anyone wants to pick them up, go for it."

No proof yet if this press conference was brought to us by the letter M, and how Lapierre feels about surviving this alphabetical holocaust.

I was really hoping we'd hold onto Moore and Metropolit for a little longer. Moore is exactly the kind of guy you'd want on your supporting cast: he's smart, not physical enough to take dumb penalties, but he's enough of a go-getter to score when it counts. He seemed to fit pretty well into the team's lineup. And he speaks a little French, which probably tickled half the city's media. Gauthier got a lot of praise when Moore proved himself to be a good acquisition at the end of the season and during the playoffs, but that's all over now.

I'd have kept Glen Metropolit on the team mostly for emotional reasons. And believe me, when he first put on the CH I never would have said that. Never in my life would I let myself actually like a player who's been both a Bruin and a Flyer, I said. I quickly, and somewhat begrudgingly, changed my mind. Metro is a truly good guy, and it's a shame that his skill set makes him a good stopgap, and not a franchise player. He's the kind of guy that could be a good captain. I'm not trying to put down any of the guys who've already been (rightfully) hailed as The Next Habs Captain, but Metropolit should have been considered among them. He's smart, experienced, reliable, and patient. He can lead his teammates while handling the extra load of being the team's ambassador to the media. Plus, he's easily one of the nicest guys in hockey. I've never heard a single story about him being rude or even curt. When he's back home in the GTA, he goes back to his old neighbourhood, the one he worked so hard to get out of. He plays hockey with the underprivileged kids. He visits his grandmother. He's like Shane Doan without a permanent address, or Sidney Crosby without the Scrooge McDuck fortune.

You know that feeling you get when someone you know, who's not a terrible person, but not necessarily more desirable than you, gets ENGAGED and you're single? That's how Metro and Moore must feel.
I joked about this earlier on Twitter, and what's sad is that it's kind of true. These players don't deserve to be bounced around from team to team like this. I'm going to miss them. I'm also going to have to make new Christmas graphics next year.

Goodbye, Mara's beard. May you ever grow in our hearts.

All the best to these players, and whatever teams they end up with. Hopefully not teams I hate.

On another note, congratulations are in order:

To Geoff Molson, who will succeed Pierre Boivin as President of the Canadiens, a job whose description I still do not understand. (Between you and me, I think Molson might've greased the team owner's palm to get this job.)

To Sergei Kostitsyn, who officially belongs to the Nashville Predators for one year. He gets $550 000, face time with Shea Weber, and a chance at redemption. Go Sergei.

This one goes to #11

So. Scott Gomez has decided to wear number 11 on his jersey next season.
No use writing him strongly worded letters, or wondering if we can bribe someone at Reebok to keep making him #91 jerseys. Looks like it's a done deal. Signed, sealed, delivered, it's his.

In case you were wondering, no, Gomez didn't check with the fans first. He asked Pierre Gauthier about the number change, and in a rare moment of action, our GFM gave him the green light. Either Scotty (ever the wordsmith) spun a lovely phrase and talked his way into it, or Gauthier is really looking for anything to help him dig in his heels about re-signing Carey Price.

I keep thinking this might be a really lame attempt at a joke, or an April Fool's Day prank that's three months late. But it's not Gomez's style. One thing I really like about Scott Gomez is his comedy. He's too funny to do something like this as a joke, so unfortunately it looks like he's serious.

Scott Gomez never played with Saku Koivu. They're contemporaries, sure, and Gomez has been in the NHL for Koivu's entire tenure as Canadiens captain, but Montreal is the kind of hockey city that you have to spend time in to truly know. Gomez was never here at the same time as Koivu, not during his battle with cancer, not even during the messy last season. Koivu, as a captain, hasn't yet officially been replaced. As a player, he'll be even harder to substitute. His name was on the back of the first Canadiens shirt I bought for a reason. (Many reasons, actually.) Gomez taking number 11 a year after Koivu joined the Anaheim Ducks, trivializes the effect that the seasoned captain had on this city. Some fans won't take issue with this, because they don't see Koivu as a hero of the post-Roy era. Those are probably the same fans who chided Koivu because of his poor mastery of a third language, spoken by people in this city too stubborn to learn a second.

Koivu proved himself to be a patient leader. So far, Scott Gomez has proven himself to be a pretty nice guy and an 8 million dollar Gionta magnet. (A "Giontagnet," if you will.) What does it say about him, that his most impressive accomplishment was reeling in a teammate, without whom he is unspectacular? I'd be more okay with this if Gomez's hefty salary paid for the amazing power forward I'd been promised last July. But our highest-paid player was not our highest scorer. Anyone who wants to bring back Koivu's number had better be supernatural. This season, Gomez was only human. He wasn't really one of the players who tried to fill the sentimental hole left by my captain's departure. Don't get me wrong, he grew on me as the season progressed, but not to the point that I can easily be happy with this. Sorry.

Ace journalist Dave Stubbs broke the story and usually he can sell me on anything. However, in an interview regarding this change, Gomez doesn't sound as personable as he usually does:

" 'I've been disappointed that I haven't gotten to wear No. 11 in the NHL...' "
You know who else is disappointed? All the guys who never made it to a decade in the NHL. I've also heard he said that not wearing #11 was the worst thing in his life, but without sources, I'm going to hope it was a misquote, because he's either the most hyperbolic man alive or he's living a truly charmed life.


" 'I'm stuck with 23. Who wears 23?... I didn't know much about Bob [Gainey].' "
From what I've heard, they started handing out the Selke Trophy specifically so that Bob Gainey's talent could be recognized. But I haven't been playing hockey my whole life, so what do I know?
I hope Scott Gomez never told Gainey this story, unless he really wants to get called a throw-in in the Tom Pyatt trade, or any of the nicknames I came up with in rough drafts.

"He wanted No. 11 in Montreal last fall..."
Wow, to even admit to this is either very brave or very stupid. It would have been an even dumber and more disrespectful move to wear the 11 then, than it is to change his number now. I guess we believed Gomez a little too easily when he professed his love for Montreal like a regular Cyrano de Bergerac on skates.

or should this be a picture of Pinocchio?

I have no doubt that wearing the 11 will make Gomez very happy, and maybe that satisfaction will give him a sense of identity and make him feel more like the player that he is. (Or that he's paid to be.) I can only hope that we'll see the result of this on the ice. And, obviously, I can come up with some kooky ideas about all this number 11 business:

• Maybe he doesn't want to be one of those rare NHL bigshots with a high number. Of course, why would he want to take anything away from Crosby? (It goes without saying, though, that if Crosby got traded tomorrow, not a single Penguin would ask to wear #87.)
• Maybe, now that his biggest worry as an NHL player is taken care of, he can lighten our load and worry about his fans' problems, so that we can concentrate on our wardrobe issues too!
• Maybe he takes a pay cut to go with the lower jersey number. Eleven dollars a point? I'll start making my Stanley Cup party plans.
• Maybe Gomez should take Mike Komisarek's old number instead. 11 may remind him of his youth in Alaska, but 8 reminds us how much he costs.
• Maybe we all need to remember that the CH on the front of a jersey is more important than the number on the back, and the man wearing the jersey trumps both.

I hope Scott Gomez makes me eat my words.

We stand on guard for thee

You've got to love Canada Day. It's become more than just a celebration of the country we call home. It's the day when renters move into their new homes, and when hockey players find out where they'll be buying their next house. And it's the day I slip on Team Canada gold medal T-shirt, turn on the TV, and make sure the WiFi is working. Oh, and celebrate Canada.

So, what's this goalie business? Remember how we traded Jaroslav Halak and assumed a contract was in the works for Carey Price? I'm still waiting for it. If our dear GM can maybe get something done, or at least speak up and tell us what's causing the delay, I'd appreciate it. We lost one great young goalie, and I don't know why the other one hasn't been locked down yet.
As for Dan Ellis, he seemed like a great guy and had considered playing for Montreal since the Habs own the rights to him, but ultimately it just wasn't meant to be. It probably came down to salary, what with our lack of cap space. Like many things that were at some point Montreal's, he's now in Tampa Bay.
Other possible candidates for backup, Martin Biron and Chris Mason, have also gone to other teams. Biron went from being a Flyer to being a Ranger, so as you can guess, we feel exactly the same about him.
Last year's senior Hamilton goalie, Curtis Sanford, got a nice raise and will presumably be mentoring Cedrick Desjardins.
As for the big club, it looks like the Canadiens will be Alex Auld's ninth NHL team. One year, one million dollars. (I dare you not to say that in your Dr. Evil voice.) It's already been established that he is quite bald, so I don't have to mention that, do I?

I will, however, mention that mustache man behind him

Show us what you've got, bAuldy. But first, if you talk to management again, GET ME CAREY PRICE.

And as for the skaters: We've kept Dustin Boyd on board, meaning that the Sergei trade has worked out okay so far. As for our other free agents... remember when I mentioned Pierre Gauthier was MIA? He was also MIA for a few other guys: Glen Metropolit, Paul Mara, Dominic Moore, Maxim Lapierre, and Bulldogs stars David Desharnais, Cedrick Desjardins, Brock Trotter, Mathieu Carle, Ryan Russell, and my James Wyman. And if you still care, Marc-Andre Bergeron is on that list.


I'd cover the rest of the Canada Day action, and I'd express my utter frustration at Scott Gomez and his ego trip, but I'm a little wiped out from all the Twitter, TSN, and Timbits. I hope it was a good Canada Day for all.

Who's staying on board

...because I made a boat analogy

Three days before losing them to free agency (I think), Pierre Gauthier has secured two of our young forwards for another season.

Benoit Pouliot's contract reportedly costs about $1.37 million. That's a small bite out of the remaining cap space. If he can keep up the great scoring mojo he had during the regular season, and avoid growing another aesthetically amusing bad-luck mustache, it'll be a good year. If he gets injured again or performs like he did in the playoffs, well, it'll be the second time in 2010 that people are angry with the letters BP.

A year of Tom Pyatt costs half a million dollars. I guess we'll have to see how he performs in what could be his first full NHL season, but this is looking like a pretty good bargain for the team. I'm betting Pierre Gauthier feels like I do after a day of outlet shopping.

The week that was

NHL Awards are over. (As quickly as they began, and that's a good thing because you all know by now how I feel about this Shinedown band.)
The draft is over. (Or maybe it's still going on... do drafts ever end?)

Maybe you're thinking that after our fairy tale of a playoff run, we Habs fans would get all sorts of applause from the rest of the NHL this week when everyone got together to shake hands. But alas, no Habs came home from Vegas with hardware and Montreal showed up around the middle of the first draft round. All eyes were on Edmonton as it morphed into Hall-ywood. Still, we should be optimistic.

The majority of the NHL Awards went to guys who play either in the Western Conference or for teams that the Canadiens beat in the playoffs. I take it as further proof that our team's postseason proved that the Canadiens are 100 years old and still got it goin' on.

Trading up in the draft saved me from watching more kids get drafted by other teams that are not my favourite, and it was worth it. Good move, Pierre. I approve.

From 0 to badass in the time it takes a scout to announce your name

Twenty-four hours ago I had no idea who Jarred Tinordi was. Within minutes of his selection I became a fan. He's so very tall. If it were possible to make Trevor Timmins look as tall as Gary Bettman, Tinordi's the guy who can do it. He has leadership experience. He seems to have a really calm demeanor, which I can hope will translate well to the ice. Vancouver wanted him. And the best news is probably that, as with most defensive prospects, Tinordi will need a little while to develop before we see him on NHL ice, so with any luck he'll show up just when we need him: when our more experienced D's will have either aged or moved on and our younger guys will be the ones with experience. Oh, the circle of life. It moves us all.

We might not have the excitement of Edmonton right now, or the immense pride of Detroit or Chicago, but I think Montreal has just what it needs. Especially when the riots are on in Toronto.

It's Awards time!

The pop-culture junkie side of me loves awards shows. In part it's for the "who's wearing what" factor, but obviously that's a little less exciting here. It is, however, 90 minutes of hockey players in suits, and that's something we can all enjoy.

It would appear that the awards aren't airing live, and news sources are already spoiling us on winners, but I'm going to pretend I didn't find out about any winners. Can I still call this a "liveblog" if the awards aren't airing live?

Well, I think I might anyway.

Before the show: I missed the red-carpet stuff online, because it wouldn't load, but I'm sure there'll be pictures and stuff. Plus what fashion is there to comment on, really? Like, "Oh, Shane Doan's wife shouldn't have worn those shoes?"

Snoop Dogg: And Travis Barker? They're definitely trying to up the ante with this year's Awards, after Chaka Khan didn't kick enough ass last year. "Snoop Gretzky the Great" should be his new name. You know Diddy wishes he came up with it first.
My sister: "Is this what happens when you let Americans be in charge of things?" Well, yes, but there was also the MMVA's.

Opening credits: Are hurting my eyes.

Okay, Jay Mohr, let's get this show on the road.
Four minutes in and the first player we see is Sidney Crosby. Surprise surprise. Jay Mohr's monologue is pretty good for a guy who doesn't watch much hockey. And he just made an "icing is delicious" joke, which I always approve of. It's pretty much what I would have expected, Jay Mohr is just mean enough, but there's still just a little bit of CBS sitcom left on him.

Rookies: Mark Wahlberg is going to bust someone's head open, I'm sure. Ugh, these nominee videos don't look too special. Whatever.
Tyler Myers wins, of course, and oh dear GG, he's so tall. His speech is quite decent, and less awkward than rookies usually are. It would have been better if he'd said to Mark Wahlberg, "Say hi to your mother for me, all right?" A girl can dream.

Selke: So this is the Ryan Kesler award, right? Presenter Natasha Henstridge does not age.
Oh, my bad. This is the Pavel Datsyuk award. I forgot he's like Meryl Streep with this sort of thing. You'd think he would expect a win at some point, and not make all his speeches off-the-cuff. His English is better than he thinks it is, though.

Henrik Sedin: I think. I can't tell the twins apart, but he won the Art Ross trophy and is now being interviewed by some Maria Menounos clone. He doesn't seem to like it very much.

Strombo!: Oh, and much to my surprise Patrick Kane is glued to some showgirl or other woman that's probably friends with a Tiger Woods mistress. He said some random platitudes about winning the Cup. This segment is just there to introduce a Cirque du Soleil performance, which is effectively spiced up by some breakdancing.

Ted Lindsay Award: Presented by Ted Lindsay (well I certainly hope so) and Ron McLean. So this award is like a popularity contest, right? I think Ovechkin will take this one.
OK, I don't deserve a parade for guessing that. By the way, I have no idea why the nominees are waiting backstage
"First of all, what's up everybody?" A hung-over (or slightly buzzed) Ovie starts his speech awesomely, then ends it sentimentally. But doesn't want it to end, and Kanye's the next presenter.

Ooh, a race joke! In the middle of an Olympic tribute. Which turned into a pretaped sketch about Ryan Getzlaf being a jerkstore. Athletes don't make great actors, but this is quite all right. It's not the actors, it's the material.

Red carpet again: Aw, Steven Stamkos! If I were him I'd totally try to one-up Crosby on camera.

Coaches: I'm not sure who will win this... Dave Tippett! Yay! Because the Coyotes surpassed all expectations this season. Can someone just buy this team and treat it right already?
czechtacular is very pleased with this win, as expected.

Toe pick!: I'm a little excited to see DB Sweeney, because I love The Cutting Edge (but hate Battle of the Blades). Jamie Kennedy should have just stopped working after his hidden-camera show was cancelled. Oh, but then he and Jay Mohr couldn't have ribbed each other about being on CBS.
Upset of the night: Ryan Miller wins the Vezina. Wow, huge surprise there. I was not expecting this after a season of the Ryan Miller Hype Machine and him carrying his team so much he makes Halak look like a slacker. (Jaro come back.) He thanks his teammates, of whom I can name maybe two.

Brodeur: Won the Jennings trophy! Congrats! What does that mean?

Best thing ever: Did Jay Mohr just do a Tracy Morgan voice?

Shinedown: Yeah, ok, not my favourite band so you can just youtube them. Or try to imagine a rap-metal Nickelback, and there's their whole performance right there.

Another best thing ever: Mike Green's hair looks more human. And a Geico caveman still has beef with him.

Lex Luthor has hair: And is presenting the Masterton trophy, and doing a pretty good job.
I'm a sucker for inspiring stories, and it's no surprise that Jose Theodore won it, since losing a child is a parent's worst nightmare. (His accent is starting to sound a little Chuck Hughes there. Okay, not important.) Very tasteful speech. Good job, Theo.

Jerry Bruckheimer: Does not acknowledge the world's most useless DJ. He's presenting the King Clancy Memorial Trophy, which I just heard of today. And the video shows us some baby Shane Doan - did you see that! Aw, Shane Doan, what a guy. I'm trying to pay attention to his speech, because he's so sweet (he puts Iginla to shame, and that's saying something) but for some reason he's reminding me of Keanu Reeves. Only less sad.

Jonathan Toews in a suit: Oh, and also the Stanley Cup. To introduce a crazy montage of hockey insanity. Someone needs to show this montage to people who watch other sports: they'll very quickly realize that hockey is king.

Lady Byng Trophy: Wow, these guys are impressive. Did they make a miniature Trophy for Martin St. Louis, or is he just lucky that it's small? He's hilarious, making jokes about sending Christmas cards to refs and reading his speech off his phone.

The Messier Trophy: With no buildup at all, just gets placed next to Crosby. Um, there were other dudes nominated, too. Ugh, this was better last year when the trophy was won by someone I love, and not presented by Fake Maria Menounos. This telecast isn't so special.

If there's hockey somewhere, then Jeremy Roenick is there to talk. That, dear readers, is a fact of life.

This is who they named the trophy after, right?

Norris: I hope it's Drew Doughty, come on, it HAS to be. I hope. And (in the words of Roenick)the winner goes to...
Duncan Keith. The guy I knew the least about. Still, it must be cool to win a Trophy and a Stanley Cup within days of each other. Maybe next week he can get a damn haircut. This guy's never watched the Oscars, has he? The music means GTFO from the stage. Still, he uses his speech overtime to tell Ovechkin to stay away from his girlfriend. Nice.

The Foundation Award: Or something, goes to Ryan Miller because he does charity work. Oh, actually, I think I have heard of this award before. Gary Bettman is still short. If anyone knows his exact height, please tell me in the comments. I tried Googling it and found nothing.

Jay Mohr does his Christopher Walken voice: And the world is a better place for a few seconds. On to the Goo Goo Dolls, and I'm sure that John Rzeznik is younger than Jon Bon Jovi, but he doesn't look it. Is this what happened during the last few years when he wasn't making music? He just sat around and aged? Um, make more albums, please.

A "Thank You Fans" commercial: Makes me feel special! You're welcome, NHL.

Guy Lafleur!: If the Awards were held in Vegas back in his day, he'd have gone missing. His pre-award banter is pretty cute. The Hart Trophy, technically, should go to the guy who screamed out "Go Habs Go!" But I don't think it will.
Instead, it does to Henrik Settin'. Wait, that's NOT how you pronounce it? Whatever. He's Guy Lafleur. Henrik makes a great speech, very appreciative, but not at all treacly.

[By the way, there seemed to be a lot of people wearing the same tie... Stylist fail.] No, that's because John Varvatos appears to have dressed pretty much everyone, and while the man certainly knows suits, I can't get behind this much product placement, what with the matching suits and the Geico and everything. I can't stand it on regular TV, and I don't like it creeping into hockey like this.

And just like that, it's over. That's the end?
Oh well, congratulations to the winners, and we'll see you next year. Now please let the hockey players go have some fun, as I'm sure Patrick Kane has already exited the theatre and pounded a Jagerbomb or two. See you next year!

Another one of those days

So... the NHL is busier when there's no hockey? Is that how it is?

First, Mathieu Darche gets a new contract for next season. His salary is undisclosed, and according to people who know hockey, it's a "one-way" contract. So if I understand correctly, he might be needed to rally up all these former St. Louis Blues prospects in Hamilton but regardless of what jersey he wears he'll still make a Hab's salary. Or something.

Then, we find out that Marc-André Bergeron needs knee surgery. Some people could take his injury as a reason why our power play included a few less crazy slapshots... mystery solved.

Then Tomas Plekanec and the guys in charge decided to keep him in Montreal for six more years, costing the team a very appropriate $5 million per season. He played just as well as our most expensive guys this past season, so it is definitely not too much. Stop hating. Hating on Pleks means hating on goals, and if you hate goals then you should watch golf or something.

Coming soon to a Hall of Fame near you...

The Hockey Hall of Fame announced this year's inductees, and while there was unfortunately no love for deserving Montreal sweethearts Guy Carbonneau and Pat Burns, my XX chromosomes are very happy about the first women to be inducted: Cammi Granato and Angela James. Finally there'll be more than just a plaque about women's hockey at the HHOF!

The Bruins and Panthers did some trading today. There were draft picks involved and then everyone went to Tim Hortons, if I understood correctly.

Scott Niedermayer, captain of the Anaheim Ducks and this year's Team Canada, announced his retirement today, but it's really just a coincidence that he held a press conference right before tomorrow's NHL Awards and Friday's draft. Totally a coincidence.

Brent Sopel of the Chicago Blackhawks proves that I completely misjudged him and his My Name Is Earl mustache by agreeing to bring the Stanley Cup to Chicago's Pride Parade, accompanied by his family.

Rollie Melanson, having already coached B.C. boy Carey Price in Montreal, will now coach St-Leonard boy Roberto Luongo in Vancouver.

Oh, and the schedule was announced for all of next season's NHL games. Yes, that ALSO happened today.
Some highlights for the Habs:
We open and close the season against the Leafs in Toronto.
The October 13 home opener, against Guy Boucher's Tampa Bay Lightning, will happen less than two weeks before the Phoenix Coyotes come to town on October 25th. Yes, czechtacular will need lots and lots of paper bags to breathe into. I'll probably buy some wholesale.
This year's Dec 4th anniversary game (does it matter every year, or only once a century?) will be in the afternoon against the San Jose Sharks. California boys are going to freeze if it's anything like it's been the last few Decembers.
Luckily we broke the December 23rd curse last season, because the Habs will be in Carolina on that very day.
Last season's seats for the Habs vs Flames game at the Bell Centre were slightly better than the ones we had the year before. On January 17th, we might get to the first row of the blues!
The Heritage Classic will indeed be happening on February 20th.
Jaro doesn't come back to town (just go back to the playlist if you're sad) but he'll get to make stops on his old teammates when the Habs go to St. Louis on March 22nd.
In general, there are just a few too many back-to-back games for my liking. I prefer it when the players have a day off between games, especially if there's travel involved.

... was that it?