Plus/Minus is ready for Christmas break

The Habs, man. Like, what even? Seriously? I can't with them. They render me incapable of expressing myself in anything other than Internet platitudes. So let's just try and Plus/Minus the last couple of weeks while we get ready for the holidays:

PLUS
+ The Charlie Coyle moment that everyone loved, and reminded me why I love hockey:

+ Excellent work, Alex Galchenyuk.
+ 2 Max Pacioretty, not only for scoring, but also for bringing back his sword goal celly. Oddly appropriate for our very own Black Knight.
+ Beyoncé releasing a surprise album warrants a Plus all its own. Always Beyoncé.

MINUS

- I'm not sure if Gorges and Gally look more like lumberjacks or truck drivers or both. Share your suggestions in the comments.
- But, like, Daniel Briere, do you play hockey?
- I hate to see Josh Harding on IR, and I wish him the best. He's a hell of a player and I hope he gets to play a whole lot more.
- Thing that actually happened: Tyler Bozak referring to "We Can't Stop" - the Miley Cyrus song about the saddest drug addict party ever - as "upbeat" and fun to listen to after a win. This is why people hate Toronto.
- I remember a variety show I was in in fifth grade, one girl thought it would be funny to play a "sign language interpreter" and just flail all over the place. It wasn't funny then, and it isn't funny now.

Get some rest, Habs, and have some eggnog or something while you all make fun of Toronto and their Miley Cyrus song.

Top 5: Pop Stars as Hockey Teams

It's the first Saturday of the hockey season. Elsewhere, Miley Cyrus, the current queen of controversy, is hosting Saturday Night Live. So, the obvious thing for me to do is make a list of the...

Top 5 Pop Stars That Remind Me Of NHL Teams

The Buffalo Sabres are Miley Cyrus: Have you tried understanding Miley Cyrus lately? It's really hard. She (understandably) doesn't want to be thought of as "trashy", but has described her own style as "Chanel meets white trash." She also says that she dresses better than other girls, even when she's wearing uglier clothes than they are. She, like Buffalo, epitomizes that old cliché, "I'm not like other girls." Buffalo, too, is unknowingly trying to simultaneously ignore and glorify its own trashiness. Both got a makeover over the summer. They both try really hard to be tough, but are basically just trying really hard to be Rihanna (who, I suppose, would be the Boston Bruins.)

The Toronto Maple Leafs are Lady Gaga: Been showing us the same stuff for years, but keep trying to convince us that they're the greatest show on Earth, that they're different and better than everyone else. But... come on, now.

The Montreal Canadiens are Britney Spears: Both have been in the public eye for a while, had some career ups and downs, supposedly past their prime but are looking pretty fierce these days.

The Chicago Blackhawks are Beyoncé: Works hard. Plays hard. Runs the world.

The Pittsburgh Penguins are Katy Perry: Beloved by small children and adult men alike. Super eager to show us all their new look, you guys! (It's just a shame that penguins are one of the only animals that Katy didn't name-drop in "Roar," which is so incredibly boring compared to its title.)

You'll notice that no team is Taylor Swift. That is because everyone associates Taylor Swift with singing about her exes, and who complains more about the men they used to love than hockey fans? So, congratulations, we are all Taylor Swift.