Baseball?

Those of you who heard yesterday's Game Points were treated to a few hilarious minutes of Tony Marinaro. You also know that I'm now in the market for a baseball team. Sigh.

I love live sporting events, and there are lots of sports I like watching on TV, but baseball just isn't the same on TV. How are you supposed to buy peanuts and crackerjacks (and hot dogs and pretzels) if you're at home, watching a long shot of some stadium in another city while whatever stoppage of play is going on?

Now, it took a few weeks for me to choose my football team on my own (if you missed it, Part 1 and Part 2) and after I came out as (mostly) a Jets fan, I got a few weird looks and raised eyebrows, as if I started dating a guy and everyone knew he was crazy but me. So, I'm taking suggestions because I know nothing about baseball and I could use a little help.

I tried using this flowchart:

but it wasn't much help. So I need you guys to help me out.

Should I go with a nautical-themed team like the Pirates or the Mariners, or even the SF Giants since they have boats next to their stadium?

Should I root for the Cubs because of their underdog appeal?

The Dodgers have a lot of history, and as a Habs fan, I respect that.

I pretended to cheer for the Phillies during last year's baseball playoffs (aka the World Series). Should I just keep that up?

Before that, I pretended to cheer for the Cleveland Indians. By the way, when I say "pretended to cheer," what I mean is "saw there was a baseball game on TV, figured out who was playing, said 'Go Cleveland!' and watched about thirty seconds before changing the channel." The Phillies lasted a little longer, just so that I could try to pretend that I knew what people were talking about during the last baseball playoffs.

I'm in over my head here, so suggestions are welcome. Please direct me away from any teams with atrocious logos. If there's someone in baseball as flashy as Linus Omark or as entertaining as Terrell Owens, I'd like to know. Let's get ready for some baseball.

There had better be peanuts. And crackerjacks.