For love of which game?

There are lots of things I still don't understand about being a sports fan. Like, for example, how being a sports fan is apparently a game in itself, and you always need to win. Rivalries between teams is one thing - rivalries between sports is another. So let me see if I've got this right:

Hockey fans hate basketball.
Basketball fans hate hockey.
Anyone who doesn't watch the NBA hates the NBA. (But might love college basketball and then, I don't know, disown a player once he starts playing pro?)
Montrealers who don't watch hockey hate the Habs.
Non-Montrealers who do watch hockey hate the Habs.
Baseball fans hate soccer.
Hockey players love baseball. And golf.
No one hates baseball. (Except me, because I don't want to watch it on TV all day every day?)
Don Cherry hates hockey fans. (Along with clouds, chocolate chip cookies, rainbows, smiles, and puppies.)
All sports fans hate their league's commissioner.


Maybe I should make flowcharts to help me keep track.